How To Disappear Completely

How to Disappear Completely
Rated R (for now)
Setting: pre-HBP
Copyright: I don’t own anything or anyone, except for Indra Karnstein and a few aurors.
Authors Note: I apologize for waiting over a year to update this. I’ve recently had to relocate for a job, so this has become my stress reliever. I do hope you enjoy this chapter. Constructive feedback/reviews are always welcome.

Chapter 9: Electrical Storm

The title of this chapter is taken from the song by U2.

“You're in my mind
All of the time
I know that's not enough
If the sky can crack
There must be some way back
For love and only love”


“I don’t know when it started to be honest with you.” Draco stated pensively as he and Hermione walked around the campus of Hogwart’s. “I realized that I had a bit of a crush on her during our sixth year. We would always flirt a bit now that I look back on it. Ginny really helped in my healing after the war. Her face was the first one I saw when I came to. Dumbledore has claimed that he will turn a blind eye, but she is not allowed to take my class. Plus, we can’t go gallivanting around the grounds. We have to keep things as quiet as possible.”

“When did you realize that you liked her?” Hermione asked smiling, even as she shivered a bit from the weather.

“I was afraid to act on my feelings, you know, before the war. I figured what was the point of telling her if we both had a heavy chance of not surviving the war. It was such a stupid belief then.”

“It’s understandable though.” Hermione mused.

“I just remember turning the wand on my father and whispering that dreaded curse. The look on his face…I’ll never forget it. When he realized just what I was doing, he didn’t even try to stop me. I think the shock of my betrayal was what really killed him. The curse was just an added punch.”

“Draco, I’ll be honest with you because I consider you a friend. I’m not happy that such a task was ultimately left in your hands; however, I’m not sorry that he’s dead.”

“I’m trying to convince myself that I set him free. I set my father free from such a retched existence. The future of our name is in my hands now and I couldn’t let such a black cloud haze over it. Does it make me evil to be glad that he’s dead?”

“No.” Hermione was quick to respond. “Draco, your father couldn’t be saved. He was far too deep and even if he wanted to escape, we both know Voldemort wouldn’t allow it.”

“I sometimes wish Severus were my father. He’s my godfather you know.”

“I know.” Hermione whispered. “He mentioned it to me once when we were doing research.”

“How is that going?” Draco asked curiously.

“It’s going well. We’re civil to one another, I won’t label him as a friend, but I do consider him a colleague. We’re not constantly butting heads if that is what you were hoping to hear.”

“You and Severus Snape butting heads – seriously?” Draco replied with a smirk on his face.

“He’s offered to come with me for Indra Karnstein’s kiss.”

“That’s strange; it seems like something he wouldn’t do. I thought Potter was going with you?”

“He is, but I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have some extra support. I don’t even know if it is something I want to do. I keep thinking that I should face her, she’s responsible after all, but I’m just ready to move on with my life. Going back there to face her will make me feel like I’m taking steps backwards.”

“Karnstein will receive the Dementor’s Kiss whether or not you are there. I don’t want you to feel that it won’t happen if you’re not there.”

“I know. I’m just still not sure if I want to be there.” Hermione replied.

Hermione walked into Severus’ chambers, the warmth of the rooms greeted her as she began to remove the scarf wrapped around her neck.

“How was your little stroll with Malfoy?” Severus asked with what appeared to be a small hint of jealousy. He was reading what appeared to be an essay from one of his students. The red marks were evident on the paper.

“It was nice, and much needed.” Hermione replied as she walked toward the bookshelf and reached for a book.

“Light reading?”

“I just want something to take my mind off of tomorrow.” She spoke while grabbing a book analyzing poetry written by wizards.

“You should have plenty of Ministry idiots attending with you I'm sure.” Severus stated, scolding himself for wanting her to ask him to attend. He wanted to see Indra suffer at the hands of a dementor and blamed what remained of the Death Eater in him for wanting to witness such a thing. No, he would not offer. He had work to do, but still, the thought of Potter or Malfoy being her comforter brought back a jealousy he never thought he would feel again. What would Hermione Granger ever want to do with him? But still, he dared to yearn, and that worried him.

His comment cracked the shell that she tried to build up around herself.

“I don’t know if I can do this!” Hermione said as she stalked back to the bookshelf and placed the book back in its original place. “I don’t know if I can face her. I don’t know if I even want to face her! I’m supposed to be ‘brave’ and ‘courageous.’ I fought against Death Eaters and Voldemort, but I can’t face some stupid girl!”

Severus placed his quill down and leaned a bit back into his chair. It relaxed his features a bit, Hermione noticed.

“You know you can do this. She can’t hurt you anymore. We’ve investigated those…threats, and we have some leads as to whom might be responsible, but Indra Karnstein won’t ever touch you again. Tomorrow you will have your revenge.”

Hermione lifted her head and looked straight into her former Professor’s eyes. “This isn’t about revenge. This was never about revenge…it’s about justice; my parents and everyone else who was ever touched by Indra Karnstein because of Voldemort’s influence on her. I’m not her only victim, and Merlin knows how many others she may have left in her wake. I’ve got scars and horrible memories, but I have my life, while others don’t. I have to be their voice, don’t I?”

Severus only looked at her in silence. How could someone so young have such an old soul? She was right, and he knew it. It was simply a matter of having justice achieved for Karnstein’s victims. He wouldn’t have taken the high road, and she was better than him in that aspect. He knew he would have wanted his revenge. Those thoughts brought him back to the night he discovered her. He swore to himself that he would punish those who were responsible, even if it meant tearing them limb to limb.

“Yes, that’s the right thing to do.” Severus replied after a few moments of silence.

“Will you come with me tomorrow? I know you’re busy and all, but I feel safe when you’re near me.” Hermione said too quickly, almost retracting her last comment for fear he would call her an immature and stupid little girl.

Severus saw her wince, a tinge of regret in her expression at the words she confessed. A feeling he couldn’t identify began to make itself known in his stomach. He was busy, and he knew it. There was a stack of papers left to grade on the therapeutic properties of witch hazel in potions, plus another group that were due tomorrow for his N.E.W.T. class, but he couldn’t resist. He wanted to be there, and now that her offer was available, he tried to deny himself the opportunity.

“If you want me to be there – I’ll be there.” He replied. When did she all of a sudden reach his desk? His eyes couldn’t help but wander to her neck which held the sapphire necklace her mother gave her. Her scar was barely visible with the shirt she was wearing, but her sleeves didn’t reach her wrists. He could see burn marks of where cigarettes were put out on her skin. He saw her breathe a smile of relief, her eyes a bit glassy, almost on the verge of tears. It was as if she were telling herself over and over again: He will be there. He will be there. He will be there. He will be there.

“I’ll leave you to your work. I’m sorry to have disturbed you.” Hermione said as she walked away.


Severus slowly approached the motionless body that lay on the stone slab. The dress, once white, was now stained red and yellow. She turned her head slowly, blood slowly flowing down her neck as she spoke, “I knew you wouldn’t forget me.”

He awoke with a start. Severus Snape was having too many dreams lately in which Hermione Granger was the star, and not in the way she was supposed to be. He threw himself down on his pillow and once again, felt the flutter in his stomach. In a matter of hours, he would be visiting Azkaban with some members of the Order. Draco offered to monitor his classes and pick up the essays that were due today, but he still couldn’t put his finger on why he was so willing to bend to her accommodation, or better yet, her in general.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to get much more sleep, he stepped out of bed, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to go through a few more essays before the sun rose. Out of, what he didn’t know what-so-ever, he made his way to her room to check on her. He placed his ear on her door, but didn’t hear anything except the sounds of Vivaldi. He assumed that she was getting some much needed rest, and left her to it.

The halls of Azkaban were dark and left no one with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Hermione walked down the narrow hall towards what was considered an interrogation room which housed Indra Karnstein. Harry was there with her, along with Snape and Professor McGonnagal. Dumbledore was attending to Ministry business, and couldn’t make it.

An auror by the name of Barnabas McGee was waiting for them at the door of the room. “Miss Hermione Granger I take it?” McGee said, extending his hand.

“Yes.” Hermione responded.

“I’m going to perform an enchantment which will allow you to see the room, but Karnstein won’t be able to see you. As far as she’s concerned, she doesn’t even know that you’re here. The room has protective barriers to where she won’t be able to escape if that would happen to concern you.” McGee said with an air of cockiness in his last statement.

Hermione began to laugh a bit as soon as the enchantment was performed.

“What is it?” Harry asked.

“It’s just like those shows on the tele.”

Severus looked at her strangely, not knowing of what she was speaking, but soon focused his attention to the woman sitting in a chair in the room. She looked dirty, putrid, but she still had that enigmatic quality to her that she was famous for.

The four observed as a male auror was trying to get Karnstein to talk, but she didn’t budge. She just continued to stare off into space, reminiscent of Luna Lovegood, not paying attention to anything. The auror was talking himself hoarse, but still, nothing from Karnstein.

“How long has he been in there?” Harry asked.

“Twenty-one hours I’m afraid. She hasn’t said one word that one.” McGee replied.

“You need a woman in there.” Hermione said. “Is there a female auror here by chance?”

“Well, I think we can have one apparate here. What difference would it make?” McGee asked.

“She has no respect for men. She looks only at women as her equals. You put a female auror in there, and then she’ll talk. She wants to talk.” Hermione said in a bit of frenzy.

Severus looked down at her, applauding the fact that he would never have thought of that solution. He would have rather tortured the girl and have it be done with.

Moments later, McGee returned and out of nowhere apparated a red haired witch with shoulder length hair.

“McGee told me that I was needed in questioning?” She said, after introducing herself as Emilia Wade. She greeted everyone standing in front of the door and just before any sort of conversation could grow, the male auror walked out of the room, clearly exhausted that his efforts failed.

“Good luck with that one Emilia.” The auror said as he stepped back to let her in the room. The auror walked down the hallway, muttering under his breath how no one was going to get a word out of ‘that crazy loon in there.’”

As soon as the door opened up and Emilia walked in, Indra Karstein’s eyes drifted upwards and then it seemed that she suddenly awoke.

“Hello” Indra said softly, with a slight smile.

“Hello yourself.” Emilia retorted. “My colleague needed a bit of a break.”

“You’re colleague is an idiot.” Indra replied. “That man couldn’t question his way out of a wet paper bag if his life depended on it.”

“A muggle insult; you’re familiar with their terms I take it.”

“Of course I am. You know my history Emilia.”

Harry, a bit shocked, asked, “Did she ever tell Karnstein her name?”

“Harry, she has psychic abilities, remember.” Hermione answered as she focused in on their conversation.

“I like your hair.” Indra stated. “You know, there is an old saying that women who possess red hair have the psychic gift.”

“I’m afraid that I’m not that gifted Miss Karnstein.” Emilia replied as she sat down across from Indra.

“Please do call me Indra. If only we had a more social atmosphere, I’d offer you a cup of tea.”

“I’m not here to be your friend. To be quiet honest, I think you should rot, but that wouldn’t be the nicest thing for me to say now would it? You do know what is going to happen to you? The Dementor’s are here, waiting for you.”

“What? Am I supposed to feel bad?”

“Indra, the Ministry has been doing a lot of investigating into your time with Voldemort. We know your history. We know that your parents were killed in an accident, but you were told that muggles were responsible for it. Indra,” Emilia said, looking into the brunette’s eyes, “what if I were to tell you that Voldemort knew of your gift and was willing to do whatever he could to get his hands on you? He made it appear as if muggles were responsible, but he was really responsible for everything.”

Hermione’s mouth opened in shock, now knowing the full truth of things. It seemed that everyone had the exact reaction.

Indra’s face appeared stoic, but still had an inch of warmth in it. Hermione looked at her and was reminded of the times she was warm, but overall, the woman was lost and cold.

“You think I didn’t know this?” Indra replied, turning to face Emilia.

“I realized shortly after I came into Voldemort’s…care…that he was indeed responsible for my parent’s death.”

“Well, why did you do all of this damage? Why didn’t you seek revenge on him instead?” Emilia asked, shock in her voice.

“I was a…very…angry…girl. I still am that girl! They had to pay, each and every one of them. I never cared who my victims were. Voldemort was a great teacher. I suppose I spared his life because he taught me so much.”

“You took the lives of innocent people. Nova Scotia. 3 years ago. That bus which skidded off the road! Oh, I know you remember Indra. 39 children were killed!” Emilia said, almost losing her cool.

“How come we never heard of this?” Hermione asked to no one in particular.

“It was believed to have been an accident. The bus driver lost control while driving the children to school, and drove over a patch of ice and the bus…” Minerva took in a breath before she continued. “The bus landed on a lake that was frozen, but the ice broke and the Ministry regretfully didn’t look into it very much because muggle authorities apparently thought they had it figured out. The driver drowned, along with all of the children.” McGonnagal said with a tinge of regret.

All the while, no word came from Severus Snape. He was too focused on Indra Karnstein.

“What can I say? Voldemort let me have a little bit of fun that day.”

“Children, Indra! These were children who were your age when your own parents were taken from you!” Emilia stated, her confidence cooling off a bit.

It was then that Indra moved her face towards Emilia again, and spoke with such honesty and emotion. “They shouldn’t have gotten on that bus then, should they?”

Hermione released a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. She wanted to find some redeeming quality to Indra, but there wasn’t anything to be found so far. Severus heard her, and wanted to calm her down somehow, but didn’t know what to do.

“Emilia, with all due respect, I’ve got no soul. I’m not someone who can be saved and redeemed.” Indra swooped closer to Emilia’s face, a clear reminder to Hermione of her first encounter with Karnstein.

“Truth be told, I’m a vindictive murderous bitch. I have no regrets. I’m here only because I was stupid enough to get carried away and caught. I’ll kill again if given the opportunity. Hell, that stupid dickwad you had in here before is lucky! I say bring those Dementor’s on!”

Emilia pulled herself away from Indra and stood up. She stalked around the room for a few moments, trying to think of another way to break her. After a few seconds, she walked out of the room, and without uttering a word to anyone, walked down the long hallway.

Hermione could only stare into the window at Indra. Harry started after Emilia. Minerva began to start an indistinctive conversation with McGee who was just as shocked as everyone else. It was now only Hermione and Severus looking into the enchanted window.

Indra was staring off into blank space, until she noticed something in the wall. Hermione looked at her as she stood up and walked towards the bricks in the wall. It dawned on her that Indra’s psychic ability was telling her that she was being watched.

Hermione noticed Indra walking straight towards her in the room. Severus noted her discomfort immediately, but was too intrigued with the fact that she was approaching their exact location.

Indra turned her neck slightly to the left, still staring directly at Hermione. “I see Mr. Derevko’s etchings are still there.” Then, she turned her focus to Severus. “Hello Mr. Snape.” Indra wasn’t finished with those words yet. She continued to observe Snape, and then turned her direction back to Hermione and whispered delicately, “I know something you don’t know! He has thoughts of…” then Indra noticed Severus turning his head away, “HEY! LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!”

That attracted the attention of McGonnagal who walked back to the enchantment.

“Minerva, thanks for the bump on the head.” Indra said, without looking at the new arrival to the observing group. "The bitch gave me a concussion."

Indra then set her eyes back on Hermione. Her features softened a bit.

“Oh the damage I’ve done to you little girl.” Indra spoke, her eyes watering up. She put her hands to her eyes, giving the appearance that she was wiping away tears, but as soon as her hands removed themselves, she started laughing.

Hermione reached for the closest thing in her proximity, and it happened to be Severus’ hand. He, strangely, she noticed, did not shun it away. Her breathing became erratic and she felt as if she could pass out on the spot.

Indra continued with her laughing, and in one quick swoop, which she was famous for, kissed the wall/enchanted mirror and waved her fingers directly at Hermione.

Hermione turned her head, reaching Severus’ shoulder, “I want to go - now!” She whispered.

Before they knew it, all four of them were walking out of Azkaban. They would later find out that Indra was indeed fearless in the very end, Dementor’s approaching and all.

Harry was due back for a meeting pertaining to those in auror training, and couldn’t stay much longer with Hermione. He apparated after giving Hermione a tight hug, and promised to visit her soon. Minerva apparated back to Hogwart’s, but whispered something into Severus’ ear before disappearing. A carriage soon pulled up for the remaining two, the thestrals clearly in Hermione's vision now.

“Where are we going?” Hermione questioned.

“We will take this carriage to Hogsmeade, and then we will apparate to London. There’s something I believe you will want to see.”

“Well what is it?”

“I don’t know Miss Granger.” Severus replied as they stepped into the carriage.

After arriving in Hogsmeade, they walked off to a quiet location and apparated to London. Hermione wasn’t too familiar with the neighborhood, but there weren’t too many people wandering around.

“Are we at the right location?” Hermione asked.

“I’m afraid that we’re a few blocks away from where we are supposed to be. You don’t mind walking do you?”

Confused by what she felt was unusual kindness, she continued, “Where are we going Professor? What is it?”

“Miss Granger, do you trust me?” Severus asked as he moved in closer to her face.

“Of course I do!” Hermione answered, staring back at the man she was deciphering every day.

“When we get to our location, you will understand.” He said as he noted her shivering. He offered her his coat which was, ten seconds earlier, his cloak. She gladly took it, still confused about what was going on.

They soon reached a field that had wildflowers growing all over. It was quiet, but there were occasional chirping birds around. The wind grew a bit stronger, tossing tendrils about her face. A question upon her face was answered before she could pose it to her companion.

“You needed to know where your parents were.”

Hermione looked around, and noticed fresh dirt surrounded by an abundance of flowers. She slowly walked towards the spot that called to her. There was nothing there, except for the wildflowers growing. She didn’t know how such things could grow so soon, considering, but it wasn’t of the utmost concern to her in that moment.

She knelt down in the location, not exactly knowing where to turn. Severus watched her as she stared into the ground. He felt bad, reminded of the time after he brought her to Madame Pomfrey and saw her naked. He felt as if he were invading her privacy all over again. He slowly made his way towards her. She was crying, shedding tears that she didn’t shed at Azkaban.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” She kept saying over and over again. “Dad. Mum.”

She sensed Snape behind her, and instinctively reached for him, grabbing his hand as it rested on her shoulder. He let her sobs continue. He knew that she needed her time, and he let her have every single second of it.