Twilight of the Gods

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Potterverse and Pratchettverse, nor do I own any beings from European mythology.

Sun just sank under the horizon. From scattered clouds appeared four horse riders. They seemed a little confused. The first and tallest of them held a map in his hands.

I TOLD YOU WE MISSED IT. WE RAIDED OVER ELBE AS YOU ADVISED AND THERE IS NO BIG CITY. WHAT IF WE JUST OVERLOOKED IT? Said first voice. It sounded very gravely and a little sulking.

“Overlook Hamburg? Nonsense, just keep riding. When we see estuary, we turn back and return precisely fifty kilometers.” This woman’ s voice sounded very sharp.

“I don’t like Hamburg. I don’t like hamburgers. They are so nourishing.” Third voice sounded like a diet specialist.

PESTILENCE CAN FIND ANY FIELD CAMP.

“Yes, but it must be inhabited at least for three days,” said Pestilence. “This one is less than twenty-eight hours old. And too much hygienic, if you ask me. Damn, it’ s freezing. I thought it’ s the end of June. To camp on snow, they could get sick, ha ha ha.”

LOOK, THERE.

“Yeah, we’ve found it. These giants are rather visible against the snow. What now, Death?” Asked War.

FIGHT. WE HAVE TO KILL BY SWORD, FAMINE, PESTILENCE AND BEASTS.

“That’s clear, but for which side we have to fight? And against whom?” She had her sword out, but looked unsure, like someone who forgot to read his assignment.

WE HAVE TO FIGHT EVERYONE, WHO DOES NOT HAVE A SIGN ON HIS FOREHEAD. THEN THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT A LOT OF THIRDS AND BLOWING TRUMPETS. Death already hid his map and now he confusedly studied several folded papers with handwriting on them. He quickly scanned the pages. One paper fell down to the camp. In several moments he totally messed up his notes. A LITTLE PROBLEM. I FORGOT TO NUMBER MY PAGES. DO ANY OF YOU HAVE A TRUMPET HERE?

“I’ve got a flute.” Famine offered him said instrument.

“They all have helmets. I don’t see their foreheads. How does the sign look like?” Asked War again.

“What was that about the thirds again? Do we have to cut everyone? That would be too much work…” Pestilence complained.

“Maybe the sign is on their helmets,” said Famine to War and after a moment of observing he suggested: “What about horns?”

FROM THE SEA A BEAST HAS TO ARISE. IT SHOULD BE AWAKENED BY THE SOUND OF TRUMPET, WHICH I DOUBT A FLUTE COULD MANAGE.

“But there’s only that overgrown snake Midgardsormer. And he has got gills. When he leaves water, he would die of suffocation.”

“Snakes do not have gills, they have lungs like every reptile.”

“Maybe he is some unusual species. How many common snakes are bigger than fifty kilometers? Look, his head is in the camp, but his tail is still in the sea.”

SNAKES DON’T HAVE EARS. HOW WILL HE HEAR THE TRUMPET?

“Snakes do not react to the sound, but to the movements of fakir’ s flute. Here, try it. He will arise and dance.”

“I think he is an amphibian or a fish then. They have gills. But they do not dance. Or arise.”

AND DO THEY HAVE EARS?

Death went through his notes again. HERE, I FOUND SOMETHING ABOUT SIGNS. NUMBER 666 ON THE FOREHEAD OR ON THE RIGHT ARM.

All four started to carefully study the gathering under them. “Are you sure? I thought it was some different sign.” “Does snake and skull on forearm counts?” “I found lightning on a forehead.” “That group of little people is tattooed from heads to toes. They are practically blue.” “What about a pierced nipple?” “Where do you see it?” “A pierced nipple is hardly sign of Apocalypse.” “Tribal tattoo over bottom then?” NO. “Sure no 666.” “So it means we have to fight against everyone? There’s too much of them.” “Or does it mean we have to take the helmets off first?” FIRST BLOWING THE TRUMPET… “After all, how should the number be oriented? Sure we should kill people with 999 on them.” Death turned his eyeholes up. SHOULDN’T WE GET A DRINK FIRST? MAYBE THAT WOULD MAKE THE THINGS CLEARER.

Lucifer poked Severus to his ribs. “Have you seen the four riders of Apocalypse?”

“Yes, but I always thought they would look more gravely. I’m disappointed, because they resembled a bunch of lost tourists obsessed with brass music. And have you seen that interceptors?”

“Yes, but I always thought they would drop some bombs. I’m disappointed. Besides, Fenri caught and chewed several helicopters today.”

Severus would never believe his last days would be so agreeable. Their pack (as wolf Goryvlad kept calling them and they acclaimed) consisted of very strong personalities with wicked sense of humor. Great part of them was wide known for baiting their superiors and now they just continued with this habit, this time aimed at Severus. Not that he has some special abilities in leading; they simply found it funny to be lead by mere human. Loki found a book on behavior of wolf packs. When he explained with serious face to Bella, that all the pack love to care for alpha pair’ s puppies, Bella hexed him and he had to wear all day nanny’s dress from 19th century. Loki then went to Draco (the youngest member of the pack) and enthusiastically started to care for his needs. Draco even stopped for several moments to grieve Narcissa’ s death. When Loki stopped to pester Draco with his nanny’s role, he went to vampires Mona Mayfair and Armand, who both looked like teenagers, to pester them. Armand, as an answer to his loving care, threw him out of a window with strength unusual for all teenagers Loki knew.

Before Lilith came, Lucifer was somehow bored and to amuse himself he came to Severus and tried to persuade him to “mate in front of the whole pack” as is usual with alpha pair (he confiscated Loki’ s book and briefly scanned through it). Draco looked horrified over the image of his godfather having sex with his aunt in front of them all. Goryvlad did not understand, why Crowley choked on his beer over such common request. The wolf found very strange, why alpha pair kept throwing him out of their room before mating, although he could clearly hear and smell, what they were doing. Vampire Mael, goaded by Lestat, then pointed out, that leaders have to mate in front of their people on special occasions like for example Beltine, but another vampire Marius Romanus ruined their attempt by remarking, that Beltine is on May the first.

But all happy days (in this case two) must end and now the pack stood here ready for the battle. The giants were closest to the enemy’ s army. Second line was more varied. Behind ice giants there sat a great pack of red-eyed wolves and smaller pack of werewolves still in human form. On the right wing hung around Firbolgs and bieses and they warmed themselves by surrounding some smaller fire giants.

The central group looked like common humans, but there were vampires, gods and wizards, most of them members of the pack. Gods were in glorious mails; even vampires dug up some plate mails and wore them, a bit rusty though. Everyone except wizards had some axes or big two-handed swords. All four wizards had their wands; Severus had his 9 mm handgun with him and Bella upgraded herself with chain mail (she transfigured it from a robe) and a belt with machine gun and a heavy rapier. Like every proper pureblood she was a good fencer. Severus liked her now, she was fierce and passionate, but a little sadistic and when she awoke from Dark Lord’ s pureblood dreams, she was surprisingly good accomplice.

Right behind them ready to fly upward were demons with flame swords, only Crowley clutched a shooting gun with bayonet, and then there floated dementors. On the back there were the Dead from Helheim.

The light side was less varied, every one of them in human size. Central group consisted of gods and wizards including students! Odin looked like the leader of them all. Several gods sat on their horses, the rest were on their feet. On both wings there were Einherjags together with Celtic heroes. Behind them Valkyrias on horses and angels, both groups ready to fly. And finally in the back there shimmered Morana’ s souls. This army was visibly smaller. Much smaller.

The third army in quite a distance consisted of heavy armed muggles. They noticed, that giants chased their tanks like some funny game, so they now prepared heavy cars with something, which Draco called “rockets” or “missiles”. High over their heads there speeded interceptors.

Slowly the full moon raised above horizon. Severus could hear wolves howling from the left. Viking god Heimdall sitting beside Odin raised Gjallarhorn to his mouth and blew. The sound of the horn was clearly audible in spite of the distance. Lines of giants started to move towards their enemy. Dementors and demons took off, on the other side Valkyrias and angels. Thor turned his horse towards Midgardsormer, who eagerly poked his head out of the water. Odin with wizards attacked giant wolf Fenri, but other giants quickly surrounded them.