I'm Beautiful, Damn It!

Chapter 9
“And The Party Don’t Stop”

Hermione drug out a large cd player.

“What is that?” Draco asked slightly amused.

“Its called a cd player.” Hermione stated. “We’re going to use batteries in it due to the fact that there’s no electricity in Hogwarts.”

She started to fumble with the back of the contraption.

Draco bit back the urge to ask what batteries and electricity was.

She handed him a large paddle brush.

“This,” she explained “is going to be our microphone. Pick through my cds, pick a song you like, and sing into it.”

She flicked her wand and enchanted the wall.

“The words will scroll down here. Just sing them along with the music.” she smiled.

Draco looked up from her box of cds.

“That’s it?” he asked.

“Well, yes,” she replied.

“Hmmm...” he said. He picked up a cd with a blonde woman in sunglasses on the cover.

“I like this one, she’s hot.” he stated.

“That’s Blondie,” Hermione smiled. “Its one of my favorite’s”

He turned it over and began to read the song titles.

He snorted in laughter.

“Call me?” he laughed. “Call me what? Call me mudblood...” he sang to his own music.

“That’s a good one!” Hermione announced.

“Well thank you, I didn’t know you actually liked the name. Have you gotten used to it?” Draco asked.

“No no, the song is a good one.”

She jumped up, ran over to the cd player. She popped it in and pressed play. The music started up and the words began to scroll.

Hermione took a seat on the bed. She smiled expectantly.

“Umm.....Caall me..” he began nervously. Hermione started to cat call and applaud.

He began to loosen up a bit.

“Yea yea, I can do this...” he thought.

He began to dance along with the music.

“ Color me your color, baby. Color me your car. Color me your color, darling I know who you are.” he sang.

“This doesn’t make any sense.” he whined.

“Keep going.” she urged.

“I want a new song, I don’t like this one!” He cried.

“Ugh, ok ok, look through the box again, then” she said.

He picked up the box again and began to sort through it.

“Hey!” he said. “Why don’t you go ahead and take your turn while I browse?”

“Well, ok I guess I could.” she replied nervously.

“Oh come on, show me how its done, muggle!” he prodded.

“Fine! I will!” she said, matter-of-factly. She picked through the box and chose her cd: Pat Benatar. She changed cds and sprang to her feet.

“Oooh wait a sec though! She ran over to her trunk and pulled out a few different clothing items and disappeared into the bathroom.

“Start ‘Hit Me With Your Best Shot‘ when I say ok?” she called.

“Um, ok” he answered.

Draco could hear her fumbling around.

“Ok! Ready!” she yelled.

He pressed play on the cd player.

The song started up. Hermione emerged from the bathroom in fish net thigh highs and a big bushy pink and blue feather boa.

She began to sing “Well you\'re the real tough cookie with the long history

Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me”

Draco’s eyes sprang open.

“Where the hell was that?!” He cried pointing at the feather boa.

He snatched for it.

“I want it, I want it! Its my turn damn it!” he shrieked.

“Let me finish my song, Draco.” she hissed

She picked up where the song left off and began to dance around the room. Draco leaned back and pouted with his arms folded across his chest.

She danced over to him and looped the boa around his neck, using it to pull him closer to her.

“Before i put another notch in my lipstick case

You better make sure you put me in my place”

He perked up, realizing the fact that there was a half-naked girl dancing in front of him wearing underwear, a feather boa and fishnets.

He reached out for her hips to pull her down onto his lap, but she swatted his hands away turned around and shook her ass at him.

His hands lunged for her again, but once again were swatted away.

He crossed his arms again and pouted.

“Hit me with your best shot!

Why don\'t you hit me with your best shot!

Hit me with your best shot!

Fire away!”

Her song ended and she took a bow. Draco smiled and applauded.

She threw the feather boa at him. He was very pleased with this. He wrapped it around his neck and grinned
broadly.

Hermione laughed. “You look quite fetching! So what song are you going to sing now?” she asked.

He proudly held up a cd with B52’s emblazoned on the front.

“I think I’ll be doing ’love shack’” he announced.

“I would love to see you do love shack” Hermione cackled.

She put the cd in and pressed play. The words began to scroll.

“If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says

15 miles to the... Love Shack! Love Shack yeah

I\'m headin\' down the Atlanta highway, lookin\' for the love getaway

Heading for the love getaway, love getaway,”

He pranced around the room waving the boa and Hermione howled with laughter. She applauded and whistled.

Right in the middle of the song, Dracos eyes widened.

“Hey! I have something to contribute to the party!” he exclaimed!

He ran from Hermione’s room.

“Crotch pheasant” she heard in the distance.

Draco ran into his room towards his trunk, but caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror before making it there.

“Oh Merlin, what has she done to me?”

He had forgotten about the ponytails in his hair. He pulled the clips out and tried to smooth it down, but random pieces still stuck up in the air.

He swiped at the eyeliner, but only succeeded in smearing it.

Shaking his head and figuring only Granger would be seeing him, he dashed towards his trunk.

He returned to Hermione’s room and held up his treasure triumphantly.

“Fire whiskey??” Hermione cried. “Fire whisky?? You wanna drink fire whiskey?”

“Yes, I would like to drink fire whiskey with you.” he said proudly

“This is a bad idea....” she stated, touching the bottle carefully.

“Oh come on!” he shrieked. “Its the middle of the night, its only me and you and we don’t plan on leaving the common room. I mean, its not like we’re going to stagger right up to Snape and say “Oi, big nose, fancy a swig?”

Herminoe laughed.

“Okay, okay, lemme get some cups.”

Draco rolled his eyes.

“Lets just pass the bottle, I’m not poison.” he frowned.

Hermione made a face, but finally agreed.

She took a deep drink. She immediately began to choke.

“It buuuuurns” she managed to spit out.

“Yea, hence the name ’FireWhiskey’” Draco laughed.


Not long after, they were both pleasantly blizted out of their skulls. They lay on the floor of the common room passing the bottle back and forth.

They were laughing and snorting at the tinest thing. Hermione also had a bad case of the hiccups.

“Ok, ok, Malfoy” she said, trying to pull a straight face, “Truth -Hic-up- or Dare?”

“Umm....Truth!” he chose.

“Does Pansy wear Granny Panties?” Hermione burst into snorts of laughter, as did Draco.

“Noo” he said, looking seriously. “She doesn’t wear them at all.”

“Eeeew!” cried Hermione.

“ok, truth or dare Granger”

“Tr-hicup-uth” she managed to get out.

“Why is Weasleby always up your ass?” he made a straight, deadly serious face “Is he there now?”

“Oh I kn -Hic-ow! Hes like on of those little fluffy dogs that are constantly humping people’s legs” she burst into another fit of laughter. She reached out and snatched the bottle away from him and took another large gulp. By this time, she either couldn’t feel the burning effect or was just too drunk to care.

Draco took the last swallow and looked at the bottle.

“Heeey, its empty” he frowned, but suddenly perked up. “Wanna play spin-the-bottle?” he asked hopefully.

“Ok! That sounds divine” Hermione slurred. “Whatever the bottle lands on, you have to snog!”

Draco went first.

“Oh! Oh!” Hermione cried. “Its the sofa! Snog the sofa, Draco, snog the sofa!”

She swatted him in the direction.

Draco was in no condition to argue. He jumped up and flopped down on the sofa. He began to kiss the cushion with his tongue hanging out, humping it slightly.

“Yaaaaaaaay!” cried Hermione.

He poked his head up.

“Your turn!” he said happily.

She spun, it landed on the portrait to Draco’s room.

Hermione dashed over to and began to lick it seductively.

“I say!” cried the man in the portrait. “Get your nasty heathen tongue off me! Bad mudblood! Bad!”

Hermione cackled and staggered back over to her place on the carpet. Draco had returned from the sofa and was prepared to spin again.

“The coffee table leg!” she shrieked.

“Yay, this is fun” she thought.

He crawled his way over to the coffee table and licked the table leg up and down while Hermione applauded. He crawled back over to her.

“Oi! My turn! My turn!” she called.

She spun....it landed unmistakably on Draco.

To Draco’s drunken surprise, without hesitation, Hermione tackled him.

She pressed her lips to his and flung her arms around his neck. She had him pinned to the ground straddling him. He couldn’t have moved if he wanted to.....which he didn’t.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and slightly gasped in shock when she slipped her tongue into his mouth. They were so into it, they didn’t hear their portrait door open.

“DRACO!” Pansy shrieked.


A/N: Yaaay, another chapter down. i know the karaeoke bit seems a bit silly, but we’re writing on true experiences and to change the memory would be to degrade it lol
Anyway, R&R and we’ll try to do the “Thank you, we love you” thing again next chapter. lol