By Fair Means or Foul

AN: Regarding Jealous!Harry, please see challenge posted in Ch. 1. Just a bit of a joke on my part. *cheeky grin*

Chapter 9

As he closed the door behind him, Lucius relaxed the scowl on his face and smoothly turned to face the only other occupant in the room. As he did so, he saw Severus lower his wand and tuck it back into place up his sleeve.

“My my, are you now having to defend yourself at wand point?” Lucius drawled. Severus gave him a disgusted look before going back to his cauldron grading. Apparently the hapless student had been better off not getting up this morning if the red ink splashing all over their notes were any indication. Severus sent the last cauldron of horrendous mistake to the clean up sink and went back towards his desk to enter the final grades for the project in his book. Lucius took this opportunity to just watch him unaware. The dark hair, cold eyes, graceful movements were all quite enthralling to Lucius. Realizing those dark eyes were now on him jolted him out of his reverie and he effortlessly made his way towards the other man’s desk.

“Lucius, what are you doing here? Has the Manor gotten to be that boring without the Dark Revels and Narcissa-thrown soirées?”

Lucius’s eyes flashed at the mention of his dead wife. Then they warmed to an anticipatory light. Obviously Severus needed to be assured of his place in Lucius’s life. Hopefully that assurance would not be long in the making.

“You had quite the following out there,” Lucius said briefly nodding towards the door leading to the corridor. “Of course, now they are all trying to track you down in Diagon Alley where you have gone to alleviate the congestion here. Unfortunately, I believe my lie will not deter them for long and they will return to slaver at your door sooner than hoped.” Severus’s eye’s widened at the last statement.

“Now, why, Lucius, would you have bothered to lessen my aggravation in that way, I wonder?” the potion teacher asked doubtfully. “I had imagined that your continual visits were based on your vicious pleasure at my… discomfiture.”

“Severus! I am shocked and appalled that you would think so little of me as a friend,” Lucius breathed in faux distress. “How could I not help a near and dear friend in need?” The blond man casually sat on the edge of the desk, resting his cane against it and his thigh against Severus’s arm. Said owner of that arm narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He continued to stare at the other man in deep thought for another moment before rising to his feet and looking at the other eye to eye.

“Very well. If you are feeling so magnanimous today then you can use your aristocratic knowledge of current family lines and assets to help me choose an appropriate spouse.”

Lucius was truly stunned this time as he watched Severus make his way over to a chest behind the desk. What on earth did the idiot mean by that? Severus was not supposed to be active in this at all. He was supposed to be hiding away from all of this and scorning any attempts to pull him out into the light of celebrity. Never in Lucius’s planning had he considered the idea that Severus would actually be looking for a mate. Instead, the bloody man was supposed to gratefully accept the proposals offered to him by a benevolent and understanding Lucius in order to get away from the entire ruckus.

The chest was levitated to the desktop and opened. Inside were parchments, letters, and a very familiar mound of booty. Lucius barely kept the snarl in when he realized he was looking at the “keepers” pile.

“Spouse?” he barely managed to ask.

“Yes,” Severus answered as he began sorting letters. “I have decided to make the best of this disastrous leak of information. You see, I have realized that I have an opportunity here and the freedom to seize it now that that delusional sadist is dead and gone. I no longer need to stay at Hogwarts. My debt to Dumbledore is paid, my need for protection and cover as a spy is over and Draco will be moving on in the summer. Therefore, I have decided to be proactive about all of this and pick the most promising suitor and spend my life doing what I have always dreamed of doing. I shall indulge in my own research and explore the world outside of this blasted castle.” After placing all the letters in two piles he slid one pile to Lucius and sat down with the other pile in front of him.

“My criterion for filtering these courting fools is simple. He must be wealthy, of course.” Grimacing, he continued. “Since I have been forced onto this auction block I shall only choose from the highest bidders. He must also be tasteful, quiet, and independent so that I will not have a destitute, vulgar, loud and emotionally clinging idiot.”

“Oh?” Lucius stalled for time and more information while his mind began to coalesce a revised strategy. “And what of the probability of love, Severus? Surely that must be a part of your strictures?” Severus scoffed in disgust.

“Lucius, you frighten me when you begin to sound like one of my half-wit students. You and I both know that love is the affection of a mind that has nothing better to engage it,” he said reprovingly. With that, Severus went about the task of eliminating the undesirables and sorting the ones that fit his ideal. Lucius on the other hand was flabbergasted. Severus actually wanted his help in finding his usurper? Very well, he would filter these supplicants but to his own high standards.

Time passed quietly as the two men shifted and sorted. Lucius silently considered his options of capitalizing on this new turn of events. He absolutely refused to throw his cap in with all the others to be evaluated. No, he was the one who would get Severus, no questions asked. As everyone knows, Malfoys always get what they want.

By the end of half an hour, Severus had a small pile of letters written by acceptable admirers but quite a large rejection stack. Lucius seemed to only have one mound of letters. Severus raised an eyebrow at that.

“Do not tell me that you got all of the better-quality ones?” he asked.

“Opposite, actually,” Lucius answered smoothly. “These were of the worst sort of quality. Not one met your standards, I assure you.” He shoved the stack away. Severus narrowed his eyes at Lucius for the moment then shuffled his own pile and lifted the first sheet.

“Very well,” he said. “What do you think of Herman Wintringham?” Snape handed Lucius the letter. “True, he is a professional musician, but part of a very well known and popular band. He is the lute player for The Weird Sisters. Draco, I believe knows more about them. I met Mr. Wintringham when he was here at a function. He appears to be well off, regardless of his questionable wardrobe, and what with travelling with his fellows I believe he will give me the autonomy I wish.”

Lucius pretended to carefully look over and consider the letter and its author.

“Yes, I am aware of the Wintringham family. Half-bloods. They have attempted to be introduced to me at one or another function,” Lucius said disdainfully, showing his affront at the very idea. “But, Herman Wintringham is much too young. You would tire quickly of his youthful overexcitement to everything.” And with that, he put the letter in his own pile of discards. Severus eyed the pile then picked up another piece of parchment.

“Davey Gudgeon, Ambassador to Italy. Very busy and apparently quite well to do.” Again he passed the letter to Lucius who again did his bit of playacting. “And,” he said, giving Lucius a hard eye, “he and I were in the same year together at school so I don’t think age will be an issue with this one.”

“Ah yes, I remember Gudgeon. He was the half-wit, who almost lost an eye to the Whomping Willow, wasn’t he? Hmm, unfortunately he hasn’t gained any more sense in the years after that debacle. I assure you, he would drive you insane with his unintelligent prattle.” Lucius stated emphatically with no actual proof that Gudgeon was at all lacking in intelligence having never met the man. The ambassador’s missive joined the other dismissed ones.

“Very well, Hamish MacFarlan. Was captain of the Montrose Magpies Quidditch team until becoming Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports before that jack-an-ape Bagman took over. I’ve personally met MacFarlan before and he has kept his physique and can hold a decent conversation. He isn’t as wealthy as I would hope but he is comfortable. He also is still active in Quidditch and often travels to announce games all over Britain. Now, he seems a very good choice,” Severus proclaimed determinedly as he practically threw the parchment with heavy handwriting at his companion. Lucius looked over the concise paragraphs as his mind whirled about looking for possible defects.

“MacFarlan would be a good choice. Except, of course, for his failing health. Apparently his rough younger years have quite taken the toll on MacFarlan’s constitution. As a dutiful husband you would be expected to play nursemaid. And, in all honesty, the man is forty years your senior. Not uncommon, but definitely not advisable. Older men are always so much more emotional and, shall I say, paternal with their younger lovers. No,” Lucius placed the parchment with the others, “definitely not.”

Severus picked up the last sheet of parchment with a triumphant gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his lips.

“Gaspard Shingleton. Invented the Self-stirring Cauldron. Extremely wealthy due to that fortunate invention. Being a pioneer in thought and ideas I believe he and I shall get on well intellectually. He has his own laboratory and has graciously offered to build me one as well. Furthermore, he is only a year older than I, perfect wouldn’t you say?” Severus practically dared Lucius to come up with a disparagement of Shinglton’s character. Lucius’s face did not betray him as he mentally scrambled for anything. Ah ha!

“Yes, utterly perfect. Although you do realize that Shingleton is muggle born? Tragic to think of the Snape blood mixing with that. Think of the children.”

“Yes, well, it is a shame, but it can not be helped. It would be a rare find, indeed, to come across a wealthy pure-blood who would fancy me as the bearer of their child who would still fit within my criteria. Shingelton will suffice and I imagine that any progeny we produce will overcome that shortcoming with intelligence and cunning. And wealth, of course.” While Lucius tried to control his ire at the thought of his lover making children with another, Severus pulled a clean sheet of parchment to him and began to write a short note.

“It is almost time for my next class. Would you be amiable to owling this for me? I would like Shingleton to get this as soon as possibly so that we may arrange a meeting to discuss marriage contract terms.” Severus hurriedly finished his note and passed it to Lucius. He then began gathering up all the letters of the rejection pile and stuffing them back in the chest and not in the rubbish, Lucius angrily noted. But, as his aristocrat training had prepared him for, he smoothed his features into a façade of calm and took up his cane. He had decided his course of action. If he could not play the benevolent friend, hand extended in companionship and empathy, then he could certainly fall back on his extensive expertise as the conniving and controlling master of dishonesty. Besides, he had to admit, this role suited him far better.

“I would be delighted to assist you in this,” Lucius lied smoothly, tucking the offensive note into an interior pocket. He made his way to the door. Severus was behind him busily preparing for the next hoard of children. “Oh, by the by,” Lucius had his hand on the door when he paused and began to set his plan into action. “Would you care to have dinner with me at the Manor? We could go over the proposals Shingleton presents or just imbibe in some friendly conversation?”

Severus looked up from the corrected tests that he needed to hand back out and shook his head. “No, unfortunately I have too much to do tonight to leave.”

“Then I shall join you here. I would not like to think that you are neglecting yourself as you burn the candle at both ends. I shall return at seven,” Lucius made his exit on those words leaving no room for refusal.

As he made his way out of the castle he could hear the sound of the corridors filling with voices as the Great Hall emptied. Luckily, none of the owners of those voices crossed his path as he thought about what he would need. He would be making a trip to Knockturn Ally today.

Just as sunlight fell about his shoulders and had him repressing a squint, Lucius heard a sound to his right. A man with a large gut and no hair on his head but more than enough on his face was desperately trying to light his pipe. Unfortunately, the man’s matches had apparently gotten wet while holding his fish tank that had a sign on the outside that read “You’re the only one in the sea for me, Severus.” Lucius pulled out the note stuck in his inside pocket.

“Allow me.” The note burst into flames and was very useful in lighting the pipe.

“Why, thank ye sir. Tis a nice thing ya done,” the man breathed out with blue smoke.

“My pleasure.” Lucius threw the last of the burning parchment to the ground and walked away.