Harry Hunting

Chapter Seven

Beauty is in the Eye of The Beerholder


A/N I’m sorry but I got tiny bit angsty when writing this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing you can recognize.

The question seldom addressed is where Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an
even more embarrassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant
bottle. -- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

“A little bit of this, a little bit of that, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm, all in the
name of love.”

The secret dungeon space in which she had set up her lab would have been almost
silent if a muggle radio hadn’t been on.

Peering into the softly boiling cauldron, she smiled; with this she would have
definitely gained an extra 50 house points and a pass mark no matter what Snape
could say. But love is a much more deserving cause than scholarly pursuit. She
could always write up a five-foot-long essay.

Lining the walls, she had dragged down some old rugs and tapestries from an old
store room and the area looked like the back space of an antique store. It had
taken her months to gather the material to make this Polyjuice potion and she
was going to hand it in for extra marks in Potions but with this challenge
propositioned by the group she couldn’t pass up the chance to use it to catch
Harry Potter, or, as she liked to call him, her future monkey sex puppet, for
herself. She already had samples of Harry‘s friends and those close to him. She
had not planned on using the Polyjuice potion for this but it paid to be
prepared.

The main hall was filled with noise and light as the school got down to the
serious business of eating and talking to their friends. At the head table,
Dumbledore and McGonagall could be seen whispering to each other with a keen
eyed Sprout leaning into their conversation.
Down at the Gryffindor table, the golden trio looked like they had their heads
together trying to figure out the next plans of Voldemort.

Throughout the hall frustrated looks and voices aimed at the silky haired head
of the boy-that’s-oblivious-to-everything, could not be distinguished from the
rest of the noise. Closer to the Gryffindor table a perfectly normal teenage
conversation could be heard from the golden trio and friends.

“So if you had to have sex with one of the Professors, who would you do?”
Neville, who had been sipping on his pumpkin juice, coughed. Ginny looked at him
in concern then laughed.

“Definitely not Snape. It would be too weird.” This was from Seamus, who was
staring intently up at the night sky shown by the magical ceiling.

“Oh, come on. He’s not that bad. If he would just have a shower once in a while
and kept his mouth shut at the right times, it wouldn’t be that bad.” This was
from Hermione who was staring at Ron to see his response.

“Okay, I never want any mental image with anything to do with Snape and you
having sex to ever enter my mind.” Harry, who had been watching his friends in
amusement, spoke up.

“So, who would you have sex with if you had to out of all the professors?
Imagine that you’re last people left on the planet.” Neville had finished
cleaning the pumpkin juice off the front of his shirt.

“And you said that muggles play this sort of word game a lot.”

“Oh, yeah.” Hermione hid the pad and quill she was writing on under the table.

“Well, okay then. I think Madam Pompfrey has this naughty nurse thing going for
her.”

“No way! She’s scarier than Snape when you have to go to the hospital.” Ron was
staring at Neville in amazement. Ginny smiled

“If you like the naughty nurse thing, sure. But if I was stuck with only one
person it would have to be Madam Hooch or Professor Lupin.
He had this whole consumptive Absinthe drinking Victorian poet vibe. Very cute.”

“So why Madam Hooch?” Harry asked.

“She is so commanding when she yells in Quidditch matches. I could just see her
with a horse whip in hand and . . .” Ron shoved a hand over his little sister’s
mouth.

“Okay, enough! I don’t want to know about my sister’s sad sexual perversions.”
Ginny licked her brother’s hand and he pulled away with a cry.

“Oh gross. If we were at home, you would be so dead.” Hermione was laughing with
Ginny.

“Don’t be like that Ron. I’ve seen you looking at Hooch. When she teaches,
you’re practically drooling. I bet if she had a whip, they’d have to scrap you
off the ground at the end of a lesson.” Ron spluttered then grinned.

“Well I’ve seen you watch McGonagall and I don’t want to know what you have in
mind.” Mione poked her tongue out at Ron as from the top table Dumbledore spoke
up.


“Students, ladies and gentlemen, I would like your attention, please.” As the
hall quieted down, Dumbledore spoke up again. ”I would like to announce that
this year there will be a Halloween dance after the normal feast in two weeks
time. This is to be organized by the prefects. They are to conscript help to
organize and decorate the hall. Please help them.” There is a groan from the
hall from those that realize what conscript meant.

”I would also like to announce that there is to be a prize of 50 house points
and a selection of sweets from Honeydukes, for the most imaginative costume.”
McGonagall looked up at Dumbledore and coughed.
“Oh, I almost forgot. There will be a small cover charge of one sickle in
support of those who have lost homes in the war.” McGonagall coughed again and
nearly sprained her throat. “Oh, one more thing, the use of personal magic for
your own or other’s physical change is not allowed, after a series of
unfortunate accidents several years ago. You are allowed to use the professional
products produced for costume events.”

Looking down at McGonagall quickly, then Dumbledore grinned. “And I’m sure that,
if you ask kindly, a teacher may help you with your costume. That is all. I hope
you have a good time.”

Back at the Gryffindor table, Neville grinned. “I heard that the reason that
personal transfiguration spells are banned is because a girl tried this mermaid
costume and managed to make herself this half-fish half-human girl but it was
the wrong way around.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she had her own legs and waist but a giant fish head.” Everyone stills at
the mental.

“Well I guess there are advantages to that way around rather than the usual.”
Everyone stops again to think about what Seamus said.

“Okay, I think you put way too much thought into that.” Neville said with a
strained look on his face.

The potion had been on a steady boil for most of the night and was almost ready.
She had a Stasis spell ready to hold the portions of the potion she didn’t use
and all she needed to do was add the sample of hair taken from Harry’s friend
and she had an hour to grab him and bag him. The radio’s music could just be
heard over her off-key absentminded singing. “Love is in the air in the whisper
of the trees.”

Harry was sitting in the common room contemplating his Potions work and the
3-foot assignment he had due on the various methods of distillation, muggle and
magical. Whenever he got an assignment in feet, he was glad that the school
didn’t use the metric system; one foot basically equaled an A4 sheet of paper,
whereas a meter would be more than three times that.

Around him were the texts he had managed to get away from Hermione while she
completed an assignment for Ancient Runes. Thinking of
Hermione, Harry saw her walk into the common room through the portrait entrance.
Instead of her usual school jumper and skirt, she was wearing a tight green
t-shirt and an equally tight pair of soft black pants. With a quiet “Hi,” Harry
got back to his assignment. He really needed to get it finished; it wasn’t like
he wanted to spend more time with Snape.

“Hello Harry.” At Hermione’s voice, Harry’s head shot up. She was standing right
in front of the table he was sitting at. Leaning slightly forward she had both
her hands resting on his parchment.

“What are you doing, Harry?” Putting down his quill, Harry looked up at his
friend inquisitively. “You know I have an assignment due, and I thought you
would be buried under books in the library for that Ancient Runes homework.”
Sighing Hermione drew a hand back through her hair which Harry noticed was kind
of wet and not so fuzzy.

“Harry, all work and no play makes Hermione a dull girl. And I don’t want to be
dull.” Leaning forward over Harry\'s desk, Mione was practically sitting on his
work.

“Okay, so what are you up to then?” Stepping backwards, she walked around the
desk and stood next to his chair leaning over him.

“Well, I don’t know, I thought you might be able to think of something.” Looking
up, Harry grinned.

“I know! Fred sent one of their new pranks to test. Why don’t we sneak down to
the Slytherin common room under my cloak and let it off when someone opens the
door?” Mione dropped her head and Harry thought he heard her mumble something to
do with ‘boys and small things‘.

“No, maybe not. Tonight, what I was really thinking is that maybe we could go
for a little walk by the lake, just the two of us.”

Harry looked at the work surrounding him and thought of the detention he would
be getting if he dropped his work.

“Oh, I don’t think I can. I really don’t want to scrub any more cauldrons. Has
no one in this world heard of Jif?”

“Jif what?” Harry had opened a new text book and looked at Hermione in surprise.

“Oh, you know. It’s a muggle cleaning liquid, creamy colored and it smells
distinctive.” Hermione laughed nervously.

“Oh, yeah, I knew that. My mum makes it all the time.” Harry laughed.

“Good one Mione, your mum makes it.” Hermione laughed nervously then stopped
quickly.

“Well I would really like some time alone with you Harry, \'cause I think that
there are things we need to do.” The boy-that-was-completely oblivious smiled at
Hermione.

“Oh? What’s that?”

“I think that you should come with me to this place I know so we can be
private.”

“I’m sorry, Mione, but I can’t. Maybe tomorrow. I really need to get this
assignment done.” Mione knelt down and placed her hands on Harry’s leg. She
looked up at him and sighed deeply sliding her hands along his leg.

“Umm, Harry? What do you think about that walk around the lake? The moon is
full. It will be really pretty.” Shifting in his seat, Harry grinned nervously.
This was it. Ron was right that one day all the work would boil her brain. She
was officially weird. Pulling out a ruler, Harry measured the paper he had
already written on.

“16 inches . . . . When I get to two feet, we can go. It shouldn’t take me more
that another hour.” Mione gasped and looked at something in her hand.

“Harry are you sure that you can’t come now. I have something important to tell
you.” Harry sighed.

“Mione, I don’t know why you’re trying to drag me away from my work. I can’t do
it. Go see Ron. I think he’s up in his room. Just make sure you knock first.
Remember what happened when you didn’t.” Mione was still staring at her hand and
seemed to be counting down and spoke absentmindedly.

“Um, yeah, I don\'t want that to happen again.”

“Yeah and you kept thinking that I was the one that got him the blow up doll.”

Hermione’s head popped up. “What?” Then she shook her head. “Don’t worry. I wish
we could have gone for that walk.” She stood up leaned into the seated Harry.

“Please don’t mention this conversation to me again. I would be so embarrassed.”
With that, Mione reached down and kissed Harry on the lips and walked out,
speeding up as she got further away from Harry until she ran through the
portrait door. Scratching his head, Harry sighed. I will never understand
people, girls in particular. Right, back to the assignment.

Rushing back to her lab, the rapidly changing Hermione look-alike slammed the
door shut and slid down it. She had been so close, if
Harry hadn’t been so oblivious. She rubbed a hand over her face, but that just
made him cuter.

She only had an hour to get the-boy-that-lived into a safe place before the
potion wore off and she had taken too long getting ready as Hermione. So, when
she faced Harry, she only had twenty minutes. She was going to plain better next
time. It was just going to take her a day or so to get over the first
application of the potion. She just hoped that taking so many doses of the
Polyjuice potion wouldn’t react. It didn’t mention anything in the text book but
it niggled at the back of her mind. The radio was still playing, “This is more
than a haircut I wear on my head . . .”

It had taken a while, but Harry had found a place to be alone down by the lake.
No one was around and he could get the present he was working on for Ron out of
his bag. He was trying to make a miniature broom pour out a tiny smoke trial
that would spell words that could expand in size if you wanted. At the moment he
couldn’t make it shape the letter ‘S’. It just didn’t look right. As he settled
back on his blanket, he peered at the broom and tired to think about what would
fix it.

A shadow fell across his blanket and he stuffed the floating mini-broom under
his jacket. “Hi Harry, what are you up to?” Harry smiled. It was Neville.

“Oh nothing, I’m just getting Ron’s Christmas present ready but I don’t think
part of the spell is right.” Sitting down, Neville looked at Harry.

“What are you making?” Harry reached into his jacket and pulled out the little
broom.

“This. It just won’t shape an ‘S’. Look.” With that, he sent the broom up in the
air with the command word and told it to spell six. The word that appeared in
red smoke looked like ‘xix’ not ‘six’.

“I see what you mean,” Neville sounded intrigued. “I think I can help. With that
the two boys spent the next half hour talking about the spell and trying to work
out how to fix it.


When they had finally figured out how to make the broom move more distinctively,
and shape an ‘S’, Harry was looked at Neville in bemusement. “I didn’t think
that you were into Charms that much, Neville.” Neville\'s mouth snapped shut.

“Oh, yeah, I am. I just don’t like talking about it much.”

“It’s been fun this afternoon, to talk like this. Ron is very much sport
orientated, and Hermione always has to lecture when you try to talk to her. It’s
been nice to just to talk.” Neville smiled.

“That’s good to hear. What are you going to come as, for the masquerade?” Harry
sighed and stretched his arms up over his head exposing a gap of skin showing
his pale flesh and part of his snail trail. He thought he heard Neville swallow
loudly.

“Oh, I don’t know,” He turned to face Neville.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were growing your hair.” Neville brought a hand up to
his head. “I’m not.” He felt the normal flat hair of Neville but it was slightly
longer and coarser. Oh, no.

“Umm, Harry, I think I have to go now. Madam Sprout has a job for me. Yeah, that
sounds good.” As he was lying down, Harry stared up at Neville with a
disappointed look on his face.

“Oh, okay. If you have to go, I’ll see you tonight.” Neville started walking
backwards.

“Yep, I’ll see you then.” And he walked away quickly.

Creeping into a broom closet she had scouted out earlier, she undid the buttons
on the front of the Neville sized shirt. Guys’ shirts were not made for girls.
She had been so close, but had been distracted by the talk. It was so good to
talk to Harry Potter about something that interested her. What worried her
though was that the something had gone wrong with the potion. It shouldn’t have
changed so soon she should have had at least another fifteen minutes as Neville.

And when she had looked at her hair, it hadn’t changed from brown to black, as
it would if she was turning back to her true form. It looked like Hermione
Granger’s hair. This was not good. If the Polyjuice potion was unstable, she
wouldn’t be able to use the last portion of the potion. She was going to have to
give up and admit defeat.

Her head fell onto her chest, then a mental image began to form, of
Harry naked kneeling in pool of red rose petals. She bit her bottom lip. He was
so cute and clueless. Then she could hear the voices of the others in the G.S.S
talking about her loss and putting her name next to Millicent, Lavender, and
Vincent. No! she was going to try again but, this time, she wasn\'t going to wait
around and talk. She was just going to go for it and she had the perfect sample
of hair to use.

As Harry walked down the hallway to class, a hand emerged from a dark abandoned
room, reached and snagged the back of his robe and dragged him in. Before he
could speak, a hand was over his mouth and someone turned on the lights.

It was Cho Chang. She took the hand away from and pulled him towards a pile of
exercise mats piled together. “Umm, Cho, what are you doing?”

“Well, Harry, I think you know how I feel about you and think that we should
finally find a physical way of expressing our feelings.” Harry was confused.
What the fuck is she talking about?

“Cho I don’t know what you mean. I thought we had gone through this. We’re
friends.” A surprised look crossed Cho’s face and he though he heard her say
something about ‘crappy Ravenclaw intelligence.’

“Well I was wrong, and I think we should be together right here and right now.”
Grabbing Harry’s arm, she tossed him on to the mats.

“Hey, what do you think your doing?” Cho began to drag her robe off and fell on
top of Harry.

“Harry I think you need to shut up and just let me work.” A panicked look passed
over the-boy-who-was-going-to-get-lucky.

“Ahh, Cho? Do you know what your doing?” With out a word, she placed her mouth
over his and slid her tongue over his lips, gently slipping through into his
mouth. With that, he couldn’t ask any more questions.
Slowly she could feel the tension in his body ease as he brought a hand up to
her face and drew it through her hair. As they kissed, she placed a hand on his
neck and started undoing his tie. When they came up for air, Harry smiled shyly.

“Well if you feel that way.” Cho acted quickly before he could say something
stupid that she couldn’t answer. Pulling his jersey over his head, she caught
his arms and started kissing a trail along his stomach and through the snail
trail decorating his belly. Harry squirmed under the ticklish sensation and
sighed. Pulling the jumper up further so that it reached just below his nose
covering his face, she began to kiss him again. Dragging her nails down his
sides she licked the red marks, and began sliding his belt out of his pants. All
the while, Harry’s eyes were covered by his jumper.

Harry began to whimper.

As she brought her arms up to pull his sweater over his head so he could see,
she looked down at her hand and noticed it was unusually shaped, for her or Cho.

A single thought echoed through her mind. Oh, fuck!


Jumping up, she stumbled away from Harry, unsure of what her body was doing that
she couldn’t see. Bringing her hand to her head, she could feel her hair
changing texture and length. It was making her head ache.

Something was going tremendously wrong. Breathing quickly, she ran backwards
watching Harry work his way out of his jumper, but before he got it away from
his eyes she was out of there. Harry watched a leg flew around the corner as Cho
ran out of the room. What have I done?

Something wasn’t right with this. Harry pulled his shirt back on and sat on the
soft mats. There had been something fishy going on for the past few weeks. He
knew it. He had been so close to making it with Cho Chang. So close, it looked
like he would be spending some quality time with Mr. Spanky tonight.

. . . people would take pains to tell her that beauty was only skin-deep, as if
a man ever fell for an attractive pair of kidneys. - (Terry Pratchett,
Maskerade)

Pansy Parkinson ran back through the corridor, her robe flung over her head. She
had been so close to getting Harry Potter. Just a few more minutes and he would
have been hers. Tears of frustration crawled down her face. Reaching her little
lab, she slammed the door shut and collapsed into the cot bed she had set up. No
one ever noticed her. Being Draco’s bitch, no one ever thought about what she
actually wanted.

Why did the Polyjuice potion have to fail just at that moment? As she took a
breath all the things she could have done if she hadn’t panicked sped through
her mind. She could have turned off the lights, blindfolded Harry, anything. It
just wasn\'t fair. What was she going to say in next week’s meeting? The radio
was still burbling along and the words echoed strangely in the small room. “ . .
. Did you think I would crumble? Did you think I would lay down and die? Oh not
I. I will survive, I will survive, as long as I know how to love I know I’ll
survive.”

A/N This is the last pre-written chapter after this you will have to wait Sorry. Motivating reviews will move me.