Just Another Snape/Mary Sue Story

Author’s note:style="mso-spacerun: yes"> It’s taking me a while to write this, as the
school term has finally ended and my grades are finally in.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I sincerely hope to be able to write more
over the summer and potentially even finish this little ficlet – and then post
something more substantial that’s already finished and just needs editing.

But in truth… well, I’d like to
hear more from you. It’s strange to
have so many hits on a story and so few reviews. I’d really like to know what you all out there think of my little
story and reviewing it is the only way to tell me.

So please – review!

Oktober Black

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sighed, thinking about all the
spyware and crap he’d just exposed my computer to. And then I noticed that he’d found my wallet in the study and my
credit card was sitting next to the computer.

“What
the fuck have you done!?” I exclaimed, watching the little people on my screen
fucking madly.

“This
is much like wizarding porn, except that one cannot interact with the actors,”
he mused flipping between windows. The
computer stopped for a long moment before obligingly changing windows.style="mso-spacerun: yes">

“He’s
obviously paid for those movies,” Amanda sighed. “Your credit card number is now all over the Internet.”

“I’m
going to have to cancel it, dammit! And
Sam’s not here. I hope he doesn’t need
to use it,” I muttered, reaching for the phone.

“What
exactly are you accusing me of?” Snape snapped, swivelling in my desk chair to
face us. “I hardly think I’m the guilty
party here in any possible way. After
all, I’ve read some of what you’ve written about me…” One eyebrow shot up in a way that was both seductive and
menacing. Amanda stifled a giggle,
which came out as a small snort of amusement and shock.

“He’s
read your stories!” she squeaked.

“Don’t
you mean our stories?” I corrected, searching for the phone number for
Mastercard amongst the papers on my desk.

“That
you’re both the authors of those… rather salacious stories… is fairly
obvious. You two have quite the
imaginations,” he said, turning back to the computer. “Although what is already available, albeit for a fee, is just as
imaginative. I’m absolutely amazed
muggles such as yourselves could be so creative…”

“You
should probably close a few of those windows or the computer’s going to crash,”
Amanda suggested. I glared at her as I
dialled Mastercard. I turned away from
the two of them, disgusted, and walked into the next room to deal with cancelling
my Mastercard. What a pain in the
ass. I wondered how he’d figured out
what numbers to plug into the sites, and then decided that Gringott’s must have
a charge card of some kind.

When I came back into the room,
Amanda was sitting at the computer with Snape standing above her, looking over
her shoulder at the screen. The porn
was gone but in its place was… The Potion Master’s Muse, a yahoo site dedicated
to Severus Snape. She was showing him
some of the files and pictures on the site; his eyebrows were so far into his
hairline it was as if they didn’t exist.

“And
how many of these sites, as you call them, are there?” he was asking her.

“Uh…
I don’t know. At least fifty, I guess,
if not more. I could google it and see
what comes up,” Amanda offered.

“Google
it?”

pan>pan>“Uh…
search the Internet for sites dedicated to… well, you.”

“That
won’t be necessary,” he said with a sigh.
“This is ludicrous.” He folded
his arms and sighed again. “I would
never have envisioned a universe like this – I could never possibly have
imagined it would exist. All of this
fuss created by some obviously very silly muggle women…”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> He moved away from the computer, muttering
to himself. Amanda shut the window down
and rose from the computer.

“Look,”
she began, reaching for his shoulder and then hesitating before withdrawing her
hand. “It’s just that… well, since the
first book came out, there’ve been fans who’ve written stories and drawn
pictures of their favourite characters.
It’s called fanfiction. And
Terra and I are just two people who like to write and read fanfiction.”

“There
must be stories about other people in my universe then?” Snape growled, heading
into the living room and pacing the room like a caged tiger.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I followed them, shaking my head.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> He must have felt trapped – no way out and
no desire to stay.

“There
are a ton of them,” Amanda continued.
“Tons. I mean, when I first
signed onto Fanfiction.net, the main site at the time for fanfiction stories,
there were over 30, 000 stories dedicated to Harry Potter alone.”

“Merlin!”
he exclaimed, his eyes growing a bit wide in shock before he settled back into
irritation. “And I suppose the majority
of authors are ridiculous muggle women like yourselves?”

“Well,
pretty much, I guess.”

“There’re
a lot of people who write, but the majority are female, yeah.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> A lot are teenagers, but they tend to write
about Harry Potter and his friends… and Draco Malfoy,” I added.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Amanda nodded in agreement.

“Draco
Malfoy? Surely you’re joking,” Snape
said, the shock on his face quite evident this time.

’s
true,” Amanda giggled. “Most of the
stories are by Draco/Harry shippers.”

“Which
means what?” he snapped.

“That
they think Harry and Draco are gay and should be in a relationship together,” I
stated.

And for the first time ever, Amanda
and I had the ultimate shock and pleasure of seeing Severus Snape, Master of
Potions, roar with laughter.

When he finally stopped laughing,
he dropped weakly down to the couch and wiped a tear from his eye.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I was grinning at Amanda, who was grinning
back.

“It’s
a bit… implausible to me,” I started, but he put up a hand to stop me.

“It
wouldn’t surprise me in teasteast if that ended up being true,” he said,
laughter threatening to bubble up inside of him again.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “But the mere thought of it…”

“There
are lots of ships in the Harry Potter fandom,” Amanda began and I shot her a
look. She just shook her head at
me. “There’s a Lupin/Black ship, for
example. And quite a number with
Ron/Hermione, or Harry/Hermione.”

“I
think I prefer Draco and Harry together,” he growled, but a smile was once
again threatening to appear on his face.
Then a thought seemed to occur to him, and the smile was suddenly
gone. “What ‘ship’ am I being written
into here?” Amanda shot me a look but I
just shook my head.

“Uh…
well, some people are really big on you and Hermione,” she began and he
blanched.

“I
would never breach the teacher/student relationship!” he spat, rising from the
couch.

“Relax,
Severus. We know you would never do
that,” she continued, one hand up to forestall him. “Others seem to think you’re gay and have put you with other male
characters in the story – like Lucius Malfoy.”

“Lucius?style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Ridiculous,” he muttered, but I looked at
him, not sure whether to believe him or not.
I’d always believed a bit that Malfoy might have taken advantage of
Snape at some point in their time together as Death Eaters.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “And what other male characters do these
shippers seem to think I would engage in illicit homosexual encounters with?”
he demanded.

“Er…
well, you know… just other characters,” Amanda stalled.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> His eyes bugged out of his head for a second
before he regained his composure.

“I
see. You’re implying, of course, that
there are stories with myself and… say… Draco Malfoy, perhaps?”

“Well,
I guess. I’ve read one with you and the
Weasley twins, and then there’s the Harry/Snape ship, and the Snape/Lupin or
Snape/Black ship,” I said, finally tired of dancing around the subject.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Snape’s jaw literally dropped, his face
becoming even paler; two red spots appeared on his cheekbones as his eyes
narrowed to slits.

“Surely
you must be inventing this simply to anger me,” he hissed at me, his wand
suddenly in his hand. I started back,
standing up abruptly from the couch where I’d been sitting on the far end away
from him. He rose as well, his wand now
pointed directly at me; he came closer and I backed up, until I was against the
wall and his wand was pressed to my throat.
I shook a bit, scared at what he might do to me and tried to remind
myself to breathe.

“She’s
not making this up,” Amanda stated flatly.
“But what other people in this universe write about you is not the truth
and everyone knows it. Stop being such
a drama queen.”

“A
what?!” he exclaimed, glg atg at me one last time before turning his wand on
Amanda instead.

“You
heard me,” she said firmly. I sighed in
relief now that his wand had been withdrawn from my throat, looking up at
Amanda gratefully. “You’re being too
melodramatic. It’s just fiction ait’sit’s not even canon. Everyone knows
it’s just… whatever anyone feels like writing.
It’s fantasy!” She folded her
arms and stood her ground as Snape glared at her, his wand still pointed at
her. “We know you’re straight, right?”

“Straight…
I am heterosexual, yes, as I believe we’ve already proved,” he said through
gritted teeth. He was obviously having
trouble letting go of his anger. “But
to imply, even in fiction… even in a completely different universe… that I
would ever have anything to do with…”
He stoppehe whe words refusing to come to his lips, but we knew what he
was trying to say.

“We
know, we know,” Amanda said, with a sigh.
“We’re not into that either.”

“Look,
this is silly. It’s just a bunch of
stories by a bunch of people you’ve never met who are just speculating about…
well, you, and what they’d like to do with you – or what they’d like to see you
do in their fantasies. I mean, that’s
all it’s really about, right? Sexual
fantasies?” I said, throwing my hands up in the air. “I need a beverage.
Anyone want anything?”

“Sure,”
Amanda said, sitting back down in a chair.
Snape slowly sank back down to the couch as well, putting his wand back
into his pocket. “Do you have any iced
tea?”

“Yeah,
I made a pitcher this morning when I was getting breakfast ready,” I said.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “Severus?”

“Yes,”
he merely said, waving a hand dismissively at me. I sighed and headed into the kitchen.

ok dok down three glasses, and
pulled the pitcher of iced tea out of the fridge, along with a tray of ice
cubes. As I stood over the sink,
cracking the ice cubes to get them out of the tray, I glanced out the window
towards my driveway. The ice cubes
dropped from my hands into the sink with a huge clatter, as I leaned forward in
shock and surprise to get a better look out the window.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I couldn’t believe my eyes!style="mso-spacerun: yes">

There, walking up my driveway to my
front door, dressed in his finest velvet suit and clutching his snake-head
cane, was Lucius Malfoy.