Animula

Chapter 9: New Day, Dark Knight


\'What the hell is that beeping and why won\'t it die?\' were Severus\' first charming thoughts that Wednesday morning when he had to get up early for school. Eventually he became conscious enough to turn off his alarm clock and flop back against his mattress. Taking a few deep breaths before he forced himself out of bed, Severus thought over his little vacation with a smile. It was a shame to leave it behind, but Harry lived at the Manor now so they would still see each other.

With a small grunt, Severus pushed himself off his bed and staggered through his sitting room and the hallway into the bathroom. After his usual showering, brushing teeth, and hair routine, he once again thanked his long-forgotten ancestors that he\'d not received the gene allowing masculine facial and body hair. After sending his briefcase down to the car via Dobby and putting in an order for breakfast, he made his way back to Harry\'s room.

Pausing at Harry\'s door, Severus, for once, didn\'t hear any tell-tale signs of a nightmare. Was he up already? Knocking softly, Severus murmured, \"Harry? Are you awake yet?\"

~*~*~

Harry woke up, blinking his eyes to try to get the sleep out of them. He got out of bed reluctantly, remembering that today he and Severus were supposed to be going back to school. The slim teen sighed in regret before stretching his arms over his head, arching his back until a loud \'crack\' resounded in the room. Before Straightening with a loud sigh, Harry quickly made up his bed and crossed to the wardrobe, adjusting his briefs from where they had twisted up during the night. Harry tended to toss and turn a lot, even on his good nights.

Taking out various articles of clothing from the bottom shelves and from the rack hanging over top, he folded the shirt he\'d grabbed from the rack and carried the articles of clothing towards the door for a morning shower (something he\'d gotten used to in his short time living in the manor) when a knock at the door startled him, causing him to drop his clothes.

Quickly stooping over to pick them up, he straightened and opened the door to greet a startled Snape; obviously the older man hadn\'t been expecting him to be awake. After going to bed early last night, he\'d already gotten his required amount of sleep, so he\'d probably awakened just after Severus.

~*~*~

\"I see you\'re up already,\" Severus observed as the door gave way. \"I just wanted to make sure you didn\'t sleep in. Breakfast is in about a half an hour and afterwards we\'ll be heading to school.\" With a small nod Severus said, \"I\'ll see you at breakfast, Harry,\" and walked slowly back down the stairs.

It was several minutes before Severus looked up from his book from his position at the table and smiled as Harry walked in. \"Good morning,\" he said, while closing the book and setting it to the side. \"How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?\" Severus asked just as Jess came in with a huge plate of muffins for them both.

~*~*~

Harry seated himself at the table in his usual spot and reached to take a muffin. \"Besides having to go back to school, I\'m fine.\" The teen grinned lightly. \"And I slept pretty well too, even if I did have to wake up early.\" Taking a large bite out of the heated chocolate chip muffin (one of his favorites, as Jess had obviously noted) Harry looked over at Severus, wearing his usual black garb. \"What about you? I always wondered if teachers hated school as much as students.\" Harry chuckled. \"Then again, at least you get paid for it. We just have to take subjects that bore us half the time.\" Harry grinned and rolled his eyes.

The only course he was \'forced\' to take was English, but he didn\'t mind. It was the other classes in his earlier years that made him grimace. He\'d hated learning French, even though he\'d known it was important to be bilingual. And he didn\'t like math. He lived for English though. So it was just as well his favorite teacher (and friend) was teaching the subject.

~*~*~

\"Well other than the fact that my first thought every morning is, \'What the hell is that beeping and why won\'t it die?\' I generally look forward to seeing the students who want to learn. I just wish they could start school later; I really am not a morning person. You seem to take to it well though,\" Severus said, noting how well put together Harry looked. The red suited him, though Severus had to admit he liked the green better; it brought out his big, expressive eyes which were no longer hiding behind big black frames. Even if he was thin he looked so much more like an adult and, aside from a few cute antics, he acted like one, too.

Checking his thoughts before he could get too in depth with that particular train of thought, Severus returned his attention to the conversation at hand.

~*~*~

Harry laughed at Severus\' comment about the alarm. He\'d never needed one, but he\'d always heard Dudley getting up to it, and had always thought it to be the most annoying sound known to man.

Washing away the last bit of muffin with his milk, Harry frowned at the comment about him being a morning person. \"It\'s not like I could afford to be half awake when I got up, or to be grumpy. I had to make meals for my relatives, and if they found anything wrong with it, I\'d obviously never... Hear the end of it.\" Or rather, Petunia would slap him around a few times for messing it up. \"I learned to be at least semi-awake after two minutes of getting up. But, by no means, does that make me a morning person. Just because I get up early and am actually awake, doesn\'t mean I\'m happy first thing in the morning.\" Harry paused, tilting his head slightly. \"Especially when I have to go back to school after having a mini-vacation.\" Especially when he had to face whatever ridicule the other students would think up now that they knew he was gay. \'I can\'t wait,\' he thought sarcastically.

~*~*~

Severus could all but read Harry\'s downward spiral of thought. Gently he covered Harry\'s hand with his own. \"Stop thinking,\" he said, mimicking what Harry had said to him yesterday. \"You\'ll need all that energy for my class.\" They both stayed silent for a few moments, just looking at each other, Harry with a small smile.

Glancing down at his watch, Severus continued. “Speaking of school, we\'d best be going. Get your bag and I\'ll meet you in the car; don\'t forget your coat - it gets colder faster here than in town.\" Severus gently patted Harry\'s hand before standing and walking out to the car to heat it up; he knew how susceptible Harry was to the cold. That thought brought a small smile to Severus\' lips. It was ironic how well they\'d both adjusted to living together; they fit each other so well.

Severus was a great believer in fate and how it always worked itself out. He\'d started on a mission to save an abused teen and somewhere along the way they\'d become almost like equals. Although he probably should\'ve minded, he didn\'t. Not even a little bit.

~*~*~

Harry gave a small smile when his words from last night were repeated.

Watching Severus leave the room, his smile brightened; he knew the older man was heating up the car specifically for him. Standing up from the table, he quickly ran upstairs to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Running back downstairs, he grabbed his coat from the rack beside the front door. He put it on and draped his brand new, dark green messenger bag over his shoulder and ran out the door to join Snape in the car. He knew the man liked to get to school early to avoid the crowds of students, so Harry didn\'t want to make him late. Besides, Harry was looking forward to just sitting in the front of his first classroom reading. He wanted to write, but he figured (from what happened the last time) it wouldn\'t be the best of choices. Although he would miss the silent company of Severus as he read.

Harry sighed and placed his bag on his lap before buckling himself up.

~*~*~

Severus nodded in greeting to Harry before shifting the car into drive and pulling out of the driveway. It was a very beautiful morning; the clouds were a soft rose and gold color all across the horizon, shielding the sun from blinding them as they drove. The drive was relaxed and mostly silent except for the quiet soft rock songs from the radio. Again that quiet silence that so few people understood. At the thought, Severus glanced over at Harry and smiled, who returned it as though having the same thought.

Of course, in the back of his mind, Severus was thinking about the inevitable difficulties Harry would have to face at school. Things he might not be there to help him with. When they got to school Severus pulled into the all but deserted parking lot and before getting out he turned to Harry and said, \"Just so you know, you are always welcome to drop by my classroom,” sincerely hoping that Harry would take him up on the offer if he felt the need instead of trying to keep everything bottled up until later. Noticing a little hesitation in him Severus added, “I guarantee the students won\'t miss me if I leave the room for a few minutes.”

~*~*~

Harry smiled and nodded. \"I\'ll come by later during lunch.\" Seeing Severus nod, they both got out of the car. Harry shivered and brought his coat tighter around him. It was really getting close to winter.

Snape\'s usually long strides shortened to match his as they walked up to the front doors of the school. Oddly enough, his professor followed him to his locker and waited behind him as he got his books. Harry distinctly *felt* his presence behind him, it was definitely warm and it made the teen feel strangely safe, even though there was no one else in the hallway.

Quietly closing his locker as he always did, he turned around and felt his eyes widen in surprise at seeing Severus standing so close. An incredibly light red marred the older man\'s cheeks, and if Harry didn\'t know better, he\'d have to say that the man was blushing. But Severus didn\'t blush.

Snape took a step back, but placed placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

~*~*~

\"If you need me; you know where to find me,\" Severus said, giving Harry\'s shoulder a gentle squeeze before turning around and heading towards his classroom to set up and read.

As he walked down the hallway he had the distinct feeling that he wouldn\'t be able to concentrate on his book so much, but Harry had been distracting him since the day they met so why should today be any different? He would\'ve invited him to stay and read or talk with him before school officially started, but people would probably talk and the last thing Severus wanted was for Harry to have to worry about more than he already did. He thought for a moment that he might be getting too attached to the teen, but pushed that thought away uncomfortably. He had walls to teach in about a half hour.

~*~*~

Harry smiled at the back of a retreating Snape, before slinging his books higher up on his shoulder and walking down the hall to wait outside his first class. Sitting down on the cold, hard floor (his teacher not having opened the classroom yet), he opened up the third book he had gotten from Severus\' extensive library. He frowned, trying not to think about the older man so he could actually concentrate on his novel.

~*~*~

At 8:00 the students began rolling in and Severus set about the often tiresome task of getting them to pay attention. A few did. There was at least one intelligent person in every class, but they tended to be more like Hermione than Harry. As he suspected, his long absence had all but erased any attention span he\'d pulled from them before. No matter. He was a man few forgot, what with his powerful looming presence. He could pull that almost non-existent attention span out of them again.

He managed to get this message across to his class despite being slightly distracted. Almost all his classes were all about reading aloud now because so few people could do it correctly (or even tried) and this required a fair amount of attention. But at last, the end of the period rolled by and Severus simply reminded students that they owed him another poem tomorrow morning just before the bell rang and they all but bolted for the doors. With a sigh, Severus sat down at his desk and flipped through his paperwork, trying to decipher which period it was exactly for the fifth time that hour.

~*~*~

Harry walked to his next class, his head down, trying not to meet anyone\'s eye. He\'d already had a small run in with one of Dudley\'s friends, and that hadn\'t gone very well. He was now sporting another black eye. He\'d tried to fight back, but with the boy being so much bigger than him… well, obviously he hadn\'t been very successful obviously. Although he had managed to knee the ugly brute in the balls, so that gave him some satisfaction.

Grinning slightly, Harry finally made it to his next period class, art. He wasn\'t too good at it, but it was fun. And the teacher was really nice too, even though she was one of the professors that ignored him now due to the whole Dursley thing when she\'d tried to get him out of the home and failed.

Slowly, the class filled up. Seated in the back of the class, Harry took out his class notebook to copy down the note on the board as the teacher had instructed.

Whispering near him caused him to raise his head slightly. He frowned when he heard the words \'that\'s him\' and \'fag\'. Harry sighed and continued to write. At least with the teacher in the room, things wouldn\'t get too bad. Just whispering and maybe tossed notes, but nothing like what happened in the hallways. Of course Dudley\'s little goon had ended up drawing a small crowd, so whoever didn\'t know Harry was gay surely did now.

The young man sighed and got to work on the small in-class project the teacher assigned them.

~*~*~

The whispers made it all the way to Severus\' class and he was not pleased. He sent at least five students to the principal\'s office for talking during class and threatened to pile on the work iey dey didn\'t behave. At the end of class, Severus was down to thirteen kids where there had been twenty, and everyone had been assigned a brutal research paper.

When the class bell rang, every student burst for the door with the fear of God (or an angry Professor Snape) fueling them to the speed of light. Once the last one of them was gone, Severus eased into his chair again with a small groan and began massaging his temples, trying to soothe the headache he\'d collected from the dunderheads in his classes. Not long after, that there was a quiet knock on his door. Severus glanced up quickly, but was met only with the sight of Minerva, and the sudden movement had made his headache worse. Narrowing his eyes to slits he spat, \"What?\"

Where many teachers would\'ve cowered, Minerva just smiled pleasantly. She didn’t know Severus well at all (despite having worked with him so long) and she didn\'t think he\'d ever let anyone know him, but to an extent she understood his demeanor and liked him anyway. \"I noticed the throng of frightened students you sent to Dumbledore; you must be having one of your \'better\' days,\" she said, grinning a little, which just frustrated Severus even more.

\"What was your first clue?\" Severus spat, wishing very much that she would go away. But of course, she did no such thing. She simple walked over to his desk and laid down a cup of steaming tea.

When Severus looked up mildly confused she explained, “For your headache. I remember the one time you had an all out migraine, I don\'t think you had any students left in here by the time you were done with class.”

Severus grumbled his thanks and Minerva mercifully left him to his thoughts. The woman had to know something about herbs, or she\'d slipped some Advil in the tea because when it was gone, so was his headache; but not, unfortunately, his distraction. He made a mental note that he was worrying about Harry too much and forced himself into the novel he\'d been trying to read this morning.

~*~*~

Harry sighed and debated on going to see Severus for lunch. After spending all that time in the other man\'s company, he was really starting to miss it. Especially after spending time with the dunderheads. Harry gave a small grin at the memory that word produced.

Grabbing his lunch (packed courtesy of Jessica), the raven haired teen headed down the hall towards the ceriaeria. Sure there would be more students there, but at least the teachers would keep most of them at bay. God… with the way they were reacting, you\'d think they\'d never heard of a hexuaexual before. It would be kind of sad, if they weren\'t directing their hatred towards him.

Pushing through the cafeteria doors, the loud chatter that had previously been going on, grew quiet when he walked through. \'Fuck, this is just too much.\' Straightening his shoulders, he kept his head up and stared straight ahead. Finally reaching the back of the cafeteria, where the only free table was, he sat down and opened his lunch bag. The whispers started up. Harry sighed and just kept eating his tuna sandwich, washing it down with his coke.

He was just finishing the last of his drink, when a large hand appeared on his shoulder. Frowning, Harry turned around and was met with another fist in the same place as the previous one. The teen fell backwards, hitthis his head on the edge of the table before landing hard on the floor. Harry brought one hand up, feeling the back of his head; he winced when he touched a small bump.

He was pulled up easily from the ground by the same hand that had punched him, wrapped around the collar of his sweater. Narrowed bright blue eyes stared into his. He winced when a hand roughly groped his cock. \'What the hell was this guy doing? He wasn\'t one of Dudley\'s lackeys.\' Harry thought, frowning.

\"You like that, you little fag?\" he snarled. Those bright blue eyes raked him up and down, something akin to lust in his eyes as he eyed Harry\'s slender frame, causing Harry to shiver in disgust. \"I heard ya got yourself a boyfriend. Dudley said you were sleeping around with another cock sucker. Did your new boyfriend give you those clothes? You\'re just a skinny runt, don\'t know what he would see in you.\"

A higher-pitched voice broke in. \"Richy, put him down.\" The larger teen followed the order, letting Harry land on the cold ground; he didn\'t smack his head against the floor this time, but his elbows sure hurt.

\"Whatever, Rosaline,\" Richy snarled, though it was a great deal less harsher than when he\'d directed it at Harry; without a backward glance (or a disgusted look or some kind of action), Richy walked out of the cafeteria.

The ebony haired teen Harry got up slowly, swaying slightly in dizziness. Shakhis his head, he turned to his rescuer and smiled shyly. \"Thanks.\" His eyes widened in surprise when she tilted her head up, curling her top lip slightly.

\"I didn\'t do it for you, fag. Richy could have been suspended.\" She looked him up and down in disgust. \"Besides, a faggot like you probably enjoyed that. You\'re disgusting. Richy was right, I don\'t know what your new boyfriend sees in you since you\'re so scrawny and ugly. Then again, maybe he just likes your ass. Does he fuck you doggie style? So he doesn\'t have to watch your ugly little face with your too big eyes. If he does like you, it\'s probably just because of the fucking.\" She looked him up and down again.

\"Although I can\'t imagine that you\'re that great in bed. He\'ll probably throw you out as soon as he tires of you. Fags never actually care about each other, they\'re just in it for the fuck. If they want a lasting relationship, one where they actually love the person, they\'ll seek out other girls, not little fuck toys like you. You won\'t ever be able to find love because you\'re a little faggot.\"

Her sudden stream of words came to an abrupt halt. Harry looked up from where he had bent his head down to try to block out her hateful, yet very true words. His eyes widened when he saw Severus standing directly behind Rosaline, his hand pressed down on her small shoulder, his face impassive. Harry blinked sharply, not surprised to feel tears running down his cheeks. Turning around abruptly, he ran.

~*~*~

\"You\'ll be lucky if I don\'t have you expelled along with your boyfriend,\" Severus ground out in a tone icy enough to give frostbite. Rosaline looked up at him, petrified, but he just turned her over to Minerva, who was currently chewing out not just her boyfriend, but the entire cafeteria in a way only she could. It was almost certain that all the students would be afraid of her (and Severus for that matter) for the rest of their natural lives. Severus, although he would\'ve very much liked to put the fear of God into those horrible creatures as well as a couple thousand dollars of therapy, could only concentrate on one thing at the moment. Harry. He had to find him.

He stormed out of the cafeteria and stalked through the halls seeking out the raven haired teen. Searching the halls, his room, and a few closets produced nothing and his calm facade was chipping away to panic. Just as he was stalking past the courtyard door, he noticed something small huddling under the only real tree out there. Harry.

Rushing outside, Severus quickly closed the distance between them; crouching beside Harry\'s trembling form he placed his hands on the young man\'s shoulders. \"Harry...\" He said slowly, gathering the shaking teen in his arms. \"Harry, don\'t listen to anything they say. Padfoot is more intelligent than those horrible excuses for humanity. They\'re not worth anything.\"

~*~*~

All Harry had ever wanted was to be loved, to be cared for, protected, understood. And now all his hopes and dreams were crushed, because of the very hurtful, yet blunt truth spoken by a seventeen year old girl. When Harry had figured out he was gay all those years ago, he\'d read up quite a bit on it. He knew that most homosexual couples only lasted until one or the other got tired of the sex and moved onto someone else, he\'d heard it enough from other people, especially Uncle Vernon and Petunia. But Harry had always had a small hope… that one day he\'d find the one guy that would live with him until he grew old. Who would cherish him, respect him - love him. Now all those dreams were totally shot down the drain. Harry would never find anyone who would love him unconditionally.

Maybe… maybe ouldould me better to just go out with a girl, and although he could never love her fully, at least she would love him for a long time. She wouldn\'t just be in it for the sex.

Large muscular arms around his small frame startled him out of his thoughts. He tensed, waiting for some kind of attack, before he heard the husky voice whispering in his ear. Relaxing, he let himself cry on the older man\'s shoulder. He wouldn\'t be able to forget what they said, because it was true.

Harry wasn\'t stupid, he knew that they had exaggerated a bit, but what Rosaline had said about no one ever loving him; that was the truth. Who would ever love him? Harry Potter, just a scrawny seventeen year old too small for his age. With eyes that were too big, a small frame that could be mistaken for a small child. And anyone who did see him would be disgusted by the scars. If not by the scars, then by the low self-esteem. He\'d heard once that you could never love someone else until you loved yourself, and you would never be in a loving relationship until you accomplished that. Harry would never be able to do that. He didn\'t love himself, he never would.

The small teen sighed and wiped a sleeve across his nose and eyes before burying his head into Severus\' neck. The older man may like him, may protect him and make him feel safe, but he wouldn\'t love him unconditionally. Even if he even did love him, it would only be as a friend. And although Harry needed platonic love, he also needed the unconditional kind, too. But not everyone gets what they want, or so he had been taught. The ones that did get what they wanted, never seemed to appreciate it and always wanted more. They weren\'t happy with what they had. Maybe Harry was that type of person, too. He wanted love, so he wanted more than he had. He already had an incredible friend that cared for him, understood, protected, and respected his opinion. So, essentially, he was just reaching for more. So it looked like he was selfish after all. He should just be happy with what he had instead of looking for more, dreaming for more…

And as long as he stayed homosexual, then he never would reach that broken dream. But… How do you change who you are, without losing yourself?

~*~*~

Severus slowly rubbed Harry\'s back, holding him close as he rode out his sobbing. \"Shhh. Don\'t worry about what she said; it\'s not true. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay; and not *every* gay man is looking for one night stands. A lot of men want long-lasting relationships just as much as heterosexual men do.\" Severus paused, watching Harry spiral downward in so much pain; he just couldn\'t stand to see him like that. He\'d been through so much he didn\'t need this haunting him too. Hell, he didn\'t need nor deserve any of it. He deserved a loving family, good friends, and everything else the world had to offer. Severus knew he couldn\'t offer much, but he wanted to offer what comfort he could to his young friend.

\"Harry...\" He said softly against the younger man\'s ear, \"That\'s what my father told me the night he burned that triangle into my forearm. That gays were worthless and stupid and could never have a loving relationship. He wanted to brand me with a symbol Hitler used to mark gay men as objects of ridicule. I believed him for far too long. It\'s not true Harry.

\"All I\'ve ever wanted was a committed relationship from with another man and if I feel that way, it\'s impossible for me to be the only one. My father meant that mark as a mark of shame, but long since it\'s become a symbol of pride; that\'s why I never got it removed. I didn\'t have to. I knew there had to be others out there who wanted love over lust. Don\'t listen to her because you\'re worth so much more than that. Any man with half a brain should be able to recognize how special you are.\"

Severus knew he was babbling slightly, something he never did, but he wanted so much to convey to Harry that he wasn’t by any means wrong or unworthy of love, to offer him comfort. He didn\'t care if he was babbling in the process of offering that comfort.

~*~*~

Harry lifted his head from Severus\' shoulder, his eyes wide as he looked at the older man. His own father had done that? What the hell was that thi thinking? Harry frowned, trying to get over the rage he felt. He\'d never felt this kind of anger before...

Shaking his head, the young man looked up into Severus\' warm eyes. He blinked away the new sheen of tears covering his vision. The wave of sadness quickly passed when Snape used his finger to gently wipe away his tear tracks, his own eyes seeming to tell Harry not to feel sad for him. Harry smiled weakly and wrapped his arms around the man\'s neck, tucking his head into Severus\' collarbone.

Severus was right--surely if he and Harry felt like that, then there must be other men out there who would want a committed relationship, would want to love and be loved unconditionally. Although Harry didn\'t believe he was special, it was still nice to know that his dreams did have a possibility of working out. If not now, then sometime in the future, or even far future.

But had Severus ever found that man to share his life with? With his present solitary life, Harry didn\'t think so. Which was just stupid. Like Severus had said about him, any man with half a brain should realize how special Snape the man was. He was kind, protective, handsome, considerate, intelligent… the list went on. So why didn\'t Severus have anyone?

Gently ducking his head out from underneath the older man\'s chin, Harry backed up slightly, so his back was resting against Severus\' raised knees, longs legs either side of the man\'s waist. Tilting his head, Harry frowned in confusion. \"Have you ever… Did you ever meet anyone like that?\" Seeing the dark eyes go even darker, Harry rushed to say, \"You don\'t have to answer that, I was just wondering. You\'re really nice and you\'re also special, so I don\'t understand why you\'re alone.\" Harry looked down. \"I know that\'s private and it\'s not any of my busi -\" he stopped when Severus tilted his chin up to look at him.

~*~*~

\"I\'ve had my share of crushes,\" Severus admitted, gently cradling the side of Harry\'s face, frowning at the black eye. \"But none of them really worked out.\" Severus paused and leaned back against the tree with a small sigh. He\everever really talked about this with anyone, but somehow he just felt comfortable sharing things with Harry. He was different; he never judged and he somehow always knew how to comfort him... He was special.

\"There were only two major ones, really. I had a thing for Lucius for the longest time, but in case you hadn\'t already guessed, he\'s straight. It didn\'t help that I actually got to kiss him once during a game of truth or dare, but... Live and learn, I suppose. The only other person I ever seriously liked was a man named Andrew. He was, in all senses of the word, perfect, but...\" Severus shrugged helplessly, \"You can\'t pick who you love I guess.\"

Brushing a few more strands of hair behind Harry\'s ear, Severus frowned slightly at his bruised eye again. \"You\'ll need to keep some ice on that tonight,\" he said with obvious concern.

~*~*~

He\'d already guessed that Severus might have liked Lucius, and it was obvious that Mr. Malfoy didn\'t return that feeling. Severus seemed like he was over it completely, though he still missed the company of his old best friend. He wondered what could have went gone wrong with Andrew. Maybe he was *too* perfect?

Leaning into Severus\' hand before the older man put it back on his waist to make sure he wouldn\'t fall, Harry shrugged Severus\' concern off. \"It\'s not that bad. I\'ve never put ice on it one before, and they never really swelled out that much.\" The young man ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face. He briefly thought about getting a haircut and just chopping it all off, but he figured he\'d wait for his bangs to grow out enough that so he could put all his hair in a ponytail. Or he could use thoobbyobby pins again. Harry shook his head, realizing his thoughts had completely trailed off.

He suddenly blushed when he realized the position they were in. He hadn\'t even realized… oh well, it didn\'t look like Severus minded. Though… maybe it just showed how unattractive Harry was, if another gay man didn\'t find him slightly attractive at all. Or he wasn\'t Snape\'s type. Lucius was blonde, handsome, and as tall as Severus, so it was a wonder what the others looked like. But Harry was still betting on the former. Then again, Severus *was* older. Maybe he just liked older men? Though Harry didn\'t feel like a child most of the time.

~*~*~

Severus saw Harry drifting back into his thoughts again although this time he couldn\'t quite place what might have been bothering him. Tapping him lightly on his side to get his attention, Severus tipped his head to one side and asked, \"Are you going to be alright Harry? I can guarantee you\'ll probably have graduated before any of those students even see this school again; if they ever do. Dumbledore really shouldn\'t be so blind to the need to expel some students.\"

Realizing he was going off on a little rampage, Severus stopped himself and smiled a little sheepishly at Harry. \"Sorry... I just get a little defensive about my good students, I guess. You, most of all, don\'t need anyone like them; you\'re so far above the other students.\"

~*~*~

Harry blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. \"No I\'m not. It doesn\'t take much intelligence to sit in a desk and copy notes down. People always seem to stereotype people who are quiet as smart or just snobbish. I\'m neither of those thingI juI just do my work instead of talking and putting it off.\" And the amount of loud noises in the classroom really didn\'t help with that. Though at least in Severus\' class, the students weren\'t as loud because he actually stopped them from talking. Unlike the other professors who just let them shoot their mouths off the entire time without getting any work done.

\"Am I going to be alright? How do you mean?\" Pausing to think, Harry added, \"I\'ll be alright when it comes to my work, but,\" he shrugged, \"there\'s not much I can do about bullies.\"

~*~*~

Severus let out a small sighed and chuckled. \"You are stubborn aren\'t you? I\'ve spent almost the last two weeks in your company Harry; I know what you read and I\'ve talked to you. You are much more intelligent than most of your classmates simply because you actually do your work and also because you love reading.\"

Severus sighed again before offering, “Well I could have them run out of town,\" but when he noticed Harry look at him incredulously he waved it off. \"Fine. I won\'t do it if you\'re so against it, but they deserve it.\" At that particular moment the bell rang signaling the transition to the last half of the day.

Glancing over at the door Severus sighed and pulled them both to their feet. \"I suppose we should get going now.\" He lead Harry inside and before they parted ways he said, \"And next time please go to my room; it\'s freezing out here.\"

~*~*~

Harry smiled at Severus and left to go to his locker to get his books out for third and fourth period. Personally, he hadn\'t really noticed the cold. When he\'d first run outside, he\'d been too pained to really notice. His sobbing had kept him warm enough, or numb enough to the cold, though there wasn\'t much difference. When he\'d calmed down, he\'d had Severus basically wrapped around him, so it wasn\'t like he would feel any chill then.

Harry still didn\'t get why being able to read and doing work would make someone intelligent. But if Severus said he was intelligent, then he probably was. The man didn\'t lie.

Sitting down in his usual seat (the back of the class room, in the middle so he could see the board without having to look at an angle) Harry patiently waited for the bell to ring a second time, and for the rest of the students to arrive. Professor McGonagall was writing the note for the day on the board, so the raven haired teen took out his notebook and neatly copied it out.

He was done just a little after she was done writing, which was when the rest of the class finally decided to show up, five minutes after the second bell. Professor McGonagall gave them detention, and then moved on, telling the students to copy what was on the board in their notebooks. Since Harry was already done, he took out his novel and started to read. The class usually took a long time to complete copying, so it would be a while.

Eventually, the students finally finished, and McGonagall went on to explain what they were going to do while handing out the worksheet. The professor called him to the front to finish a mathematical word problem (his least favorite) that she had written out on the board. Hearing the whispers behind his back as he made him way up front, Harry gritted his teeth, willing himself to not listen. It looked like the professor would give out detentions for being late, but not for gossiping about a student. Even when she winced slightly at the use of the word, \'faggot\'. Hmm… maybe she was uncomfortable with him being gay? Or she was just angry at her students. But then again, she would have gotten them all in trouble if she wanted to. He\'d heard about Severus\' rather bad mood, kicking out a bunch of kids until there was only a small handful left. Harry grinned slightly. He was hoping that professor Snape would somehow come whisking in and save him of spare him another seventy more hours spent in these \'children\'s\' company. Of course it would never happen, but it didn\'t stop him from day-dreaming.

~*~*~

Severus\' mood towards his students didn\'t improve during the next period. He kicked five students out during the first ten minutes of class. The fact that he was angry and not about to tolerate any gossip finally came across to his class, and they promptly shut up. Relieved at that much, Severus had them recite for the rest of the period, but he wasn\'t really listening as much as he should have been. He was thinking about Harry.

Funny how ever since Severus had laid eyes on him, he had set up camp in his mind without any sign of departure. \'Pleasantly annoying\' were the only words for it. It wasn\'t like Harry was the type of person who was easy to forget. He had this kind of silent grace about him, especially his eyes. They weren\'t the eyes of a seventeen year old teen; they were the eyes of someone forced to grow up too quickly who, somehow, had survived and come out with a kind of inner strength they didn\'t even know they had.

Snapping out of his revive reverie as the bell rang yet again, Severus cursed himself for drifting off and grumbled the student\'s homework at them as they ran for the door. \'I really shouldn\'t pursue that line of thought any further,\' Severus thought with an inward sigh as he got ready for the last class of the day; all the while telling himself his improvement in mood was because it was finely finally the end of a very long day and nothing else.

~*~*~

Harry smiled and tried not to skip to his next class. He\'d already been made fun of in math class for getting the math problem wrong, even though no one else would have been able to do it either, not to mention the constant teasing he\'d been overhearing[, delete] that, somehow, the teachers never heard.

That thought quickly dampened his spirits, causing him to walk in the brightly lit classroom with his head down as he shuffled toward the back of the class, his usual spot, of course. Harry sighed and leaned back in his chair. Taking out his notebook, he opened it up to a fresh page and took out his book of poems. Laying them neatly on the desk, Harry waited for the room to fill up. It was kind of sad that half the class always ended up late. You would think they\'d learned the first time around.

Harry frowned and crossed his arms, shivering slightly. Damn heaters never did work in this school. Hunching over his desk so he could try to keep warm, Harry glanced up and caught the eyes of Severus. He gave a small smile and looked toward the door when it opened, letting in a flood of late students.

~*~*~

\"If you can not get here on time, do not bother coming at all,\" Severus said while glaring with all his might at the late students who simple stared back at him, blinking occasionally. \"Perhaps I am not making myself clear enough,\" Severus spat out, raising a cynical eyebrow towards his hairline. \"Let me try to use terms you\'re more familiar with. Get out. Be gone. You are no longer welcome here. And furthermore, if you\'re late again, I have no qualms about throwing you out of my class permanently.\" Severus didn\'t yell, but the entire room seemed all but frostbitten at his icy way of telling off the students.

It took a few minutes for the students to leave, slightly shell-shocked. Apparently this was their first experience in real discipline. \"Anyone else care to join them?\" Severus hissed, sweeping a critical eye over his students. \"No? Good. Let\'s get to work then.\" Walking over to the teacher\'s podium, Severus scanned the room once more before commanding, \"Open your books to page 50 and, Mr. Malfoy, if you would please read the first poem.\"

As Draco\'s hopelessly haughty voice filled the air, Severus\' eye met Harry\'s briefly with a look much softer then he ever gave to his other students. \'I\'m glad I have *one* person who can read in here,\' Severus thought to himself.

~*~*~

Harry tried not to chuckle as he watched the students get cut down to size. It was kind of funny how they just stood there, blinking owlishly. When they finally left, he caught the eye of Severus, who shared a small smirk with him before quickly continuing.

Harry rested his chin on his hand while listening to Malfoy butcher the poem. Shaking his head, he read the poem over, noticing that it was some sappy love poem. You\'d think Malfoy would know about those kinds of poems, considering he wooed girls daily with that romantic crap.

When the blonde finally finished, Severus analyzed the poem, of which Harry made sure to write down notes. When the professor asked for volunteers to read the next poem, unsurprisingly Granger\'s hand shot up. Harry gave a small groan and, not wanting to hear yet again her painful monotone delivery, tentatively raised his hand. When Snape quickly picked him, the young man stifled the snicker, knowing that Severus hated listening to Granger and Malfoy\'s attempts at reading poetry.

Looking down at the next page, Harry took a breath, picturing just a solitary class room, him reading and Severus sitting in front of him, listening intently. Smiling softly, Harry recited.

\"A Question - by T.G.

Almost three years of seasons have come and gone.
Each passing brings new and wonderful adventures.
Life with you is intoxicating, to say the least,
And yet it brings such grief and suffering.
Why?

Almost three years of months have come and gone.
Months spent in the constant whirlpool we call \"us\".
Life with you is intriguing, to say the least,
And yet I search for the climactic ending.
Why?

Almost three years of days have come and gone.
Nights we laid in each other\'s arms, exhausting the last of our strength
while making love.
Life with you is fulfilling, to say the least,
And yet I yearn for more...More.
Why?

Almost three years of you.
That is not enough.
I want an eternity with you, to say the least,
And yet the time seems so out of reach.
Why?



Life with you is...

All I desire.\"

Harry blushed when he finished the poem. They must have started the romantic section. He just *had* to pick now of all times to volunteer. It was a good poem though, very well written. From the small info at the bottom of the page, it looked like the girl was only a teen. Yes, very good writing indeed for someone that young. She must have been really happy to have her work published… Maybe he really should follow Severus\' advice and try to get enough poems together so he could try publishing them. Surely, *someone* would take it. Harry wasn\'t that bad, he knew, but he was certainly no professional. Perhaps Severus would help him in correcting his poems to make them the best they could be.

Harry shook his head slightly, putting an end to his thoughts. He had to stop day-dreaming like that; he needed to focus on class. Especially when the older man was staring at him so strangely at the front of the room. Had he stuttered at all? He didn\'t remember… he was pretty sure he hadn\'t. He\'d kept that image of just him and Severus being in the room, and he\'d felt calm enough to read without any problems. So he knew it wasn\'t his stuttering. Maybe it was just the context of the poem? Maybe Severus hated romantic poems too. Although Harry did like romantic poems that were written well and weren\'t too sappy.

~*~*~

\'He really does have a natural talent for this,\' Severus thought to himself, musing over the excellent reading. He\'d put so much emotion into reading it, something so many people either forgot, or couldn\'t master. It was a writer\'s equivalent to acting; something for which Harry obviously was meant for.

\"Very good, Mr. Potter,\" Severus said in tone that made it sound like he was saying \'Harry\' anyway; funny how words could be twisted around. That\'s probably why human beings were such damned infuriating creatures, always playing head games and the like. But not Harry. He was honest and kind when he\'d known only lies and hatred most of his life; amazing really.

\"Now,\" Severus said, continuing at last. \"This poem centers around a very old concept; to love someone forever. Now some of you might believe in that and some of you might not, but the point is not believing in it or not, but the power that can be conveyed through that statement. Forever is a long time and, I hate to tell you, you can\'t say you\'ve experienced it by surviving my class. The problem many poets face in writing these poems is trying to make it real; as in not cliché. That\'s something I want you all to try to stay away from in all the poems you write from this class. Speaking of which, your next one is due tomorrow, in case you forgot.\" A small groan rolled through the class, but Severus\' glare stopped it midway.

The rest of the class moved on at much the same pace as before. A few people were improving slightly, and by improving that meant not dead to the world, but in general the class needed a lot of work. Eventually the bell did ring and all the students but Harry bolted for the door. Severus shook his head ruefully as they stampeded out. \"One of these days I should start a betting ring as to who can get to the door fastest; they certainly have a lot of practice.\" Stretching, he glanced over at Harry with a small smile, \"Ready to go?\"

~*~*~

Harry smiled up at Severus. Putting all his stuff in his messenger bag, he walked towards the front of the class. \"I don\'t know why they run out like that; they do it for all the other classes too. You\'d think if they got out that fast, they\'d actually be early instead of late.\" They shared a small smile over that it, before Harry stood by the door, waiting for Severus to gather his briefcase and jacket.

Walking through the crowded halls, Harry frowned and, turning his head towards Severus, he asked, \"Are we supposed to write about a certain topic? We look like we\'re covering love poems now, so I was just wondering if we\'re supposed to write one.\"

~*~*~

Glancing over at Harry as they pushed their way out into the frigid, late autumn air, Severus replied, \"You don\'t have to do any sort of poem. I think it works better when students have their pick. But if you want to write a love poem, then by all means do so. I\'d certainly love to see how you write one.\"

They both quickly climbed into Severus\' car and were soon headed back to the manor. \"I\'m glad this day\'s almost over. It doesn\'t matter how long the break is, I\'m always exhausted the first day back.\" Severus continued to think as he drove, \'Funny. I haven\'t known him a month and... Somehow it feels so natural to have him here. It\'s like... He just fits.\'

~*~*~

Hmm… it would be interesting to write a love poem. He\'d never written one before. Never really felt the need to when he was in so much pain all the time, and love was only in his dreams. When he did dream instead of having a nightmare, that is.

Harry glanced over at Severus, smiling slightly, glad that he wasn\'t the only one that felt like that. \"It isn\'t that bad. I used to feel exhausted every day because of lack of sleep, food, and just pain itself. Besides the whole gossip thing, it wasn\'t that bad, really,\" Harry shrugged. He\'d only gotten punched in the eye twice today, and while the whole \'faggot\' thing they kept taunting him about was new, at least he was going hom enow so he\'d be able to relax. The only homework he had was that poem, so that wouldn\'t be too hard.

~*~*~

Severus reached over and lightly placed a hand on Harry\'s shoulder as he drove. He didn\'t want Harry to have to focus on the bad things anymore. They drove on in silence, the soft afternoon light filtering through the trees and giving the autumn forest a golden-like glow.

Eventually they pulled up into the driveway and no sooner had Severus stepped out of the car than Padfoot saw fit to charge at Severus, attempting to knock him over. Severus simply glared at him and ordered, \"Off!\" At that, Padfoot huffed indignantly and trotted around the car to greet Harry, albeit a bit more gently.

Severus just rolled his eyes and made his way for the door; Harry and Padfoot in close behind.

~*~*~

Harry sat at a well organized desk, bouncing the end of a pen against the flat surface. He was seated in Severus\' sitting room, where he had gone right after finishing supper. The older man had joined him after a few minutes, and was now seated on the large tan couch, a thick novel in his hands. They\'d talked about the school day, the books they were reading, and generally, they just talked in between bites. Though it did get silent after awhile when a subject was done, but it wasn\'t strained and neither had felt the urge to fill up that silence.

At the moment, Harry was trying to work on the poem that was due tomorrow. He wouldn\'t ask Severus for help since he didn\'t think that was fair to the other students who were currently writing their poems. But he was having trouble with starting. Snape had, of course, suggested a few ideas, but had quickly stopped when Harry told him to be quiet so he could work on his own and that he didn\'t need help because it wouldn\'t be fair. The older man had been surprised at that little outburst, but had eventually let it go, a small smile on his face.

The raven haired teen sighed and finally picked up his paper and pen. He wasn\'t really giving up, just waiting for inspiration to strike. He hated writing when he was forced to, so that\'s why he had been waiting for an idea to come to him, otherwise it just sounded forced. And it was easy to sound forced when writing poetry.

Walking by the couch, Harry placed a hand on Severus\' shoulder, smiling down at him he said his farewell, \"Good night.\" The man nodded and placed a larger hand on his own, before returning to his book. Harry smiled and went back to his own rooms.

Setting the pen and paper in front of the small lamp on the night stand, he slid out of his clothes [what did he do with them] and pulled on his silk emerald green boxers, smiling at the feel of them brushing against his skin. Completing his night-time routine, Harry walked towards his closet, setting out his clothes for the next day, and, shutting the light off, crawled into bed.

He was seconds away from falling into a deep sleep, when he was suddenly struck by an idea. Smiling, if a bit sleepily, he turned on the bedside lamp and, with the pen in hand and squinting down at the blank sheet, he began writing. Though the words were a bit fuzzy and not very neat without his contacts in, he\'d just go back over it tomorrow.

\"Shadow Walker

Darkness becomes him
Darkness smothers him.
Yet he controls the shadows;
he becomes one with them.
Nothing controls him,
nothing stops him.
Thought of as cruel
as though he has no heart.
But he has the biggest heart of all men,
his kindness towards those who are special to him
is like no others.
He\'s not sappy
he\'s not controlling
he\'s anything but cruel
and his sarcastic quips can make even the most indifferent of men laugh.
He is my darkness
I am his shadow.\"

Harry read the poem out loud imseimself and smiled. It was perfect. Then he frowned slightly; was it cliché? Reading it over, he shook his head. It wasn\'t cliché. Severus had pointed out to him that if he read it over, he\'d be able to tell if it wasn\'t true to the heart. The words he first put on paper were usually the right ones. Gut instinct and all that. Sighing, he put the poem back onto the small table and turned off the lamp. Getting comfortable again, he closed his eyes and went to sleep.