Turn Back Time

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Rating: PG-13 for now, may change later. Will be slash later in the story: HP/?, JP/LE

Spoilers: Books 1-5. Do not read unless you have FINISHED The Order of the Phoenix.

Disclaimer: I don\'t own anything except the plot. All Harry Potter™ characters and settings are the sole intellectual property of JK Rowling, Warner Bros. and various others who all aren\'t connected to me in any way. No money is being made with this fanfiction and no copyright infringement is intended.

\"Now in these dark times, I see that all of you have decided to continue with NEWT level Defence Against the Dark Arts. This subject will not only prepare you for the exams in two years time, but may in fact save your life\" began Professor Steelfield in a clear strong voice. \"I will not tolerate any misbehaviour in this class as we will be working with spells and creatures that could kill you! Now the way that I have planned most lessons will be using the double period lessons for practical work, spells, defences and perhaps even duels, while the single period lessons will be more inclined towards theory\" she explained to the silent Sixth Years. Then she quickly went through several key areas they would be covering that year.

As Harry walked with Remus to the Defence classroom, the amber-eyed boy explained that Steelfield was the Head of House for Slytherin. Immediately Harry had voiced his fear that the Professor would favour the Slytherin students above the others in the class, but had been reassured that Steelfield was a fair teacher. As Harry had sat down between James and Remus, he discretely examined his latest in a long line of DADA teachers. According to Remus Steelfield had been teaching at Hogwarts for almost a decade. She was a stern looking lady, whose light brown hair was streaked with grey. Her stone-grey eyes were sharp and Harry suspected they missed very little.

\"Today, we\'ll be looking at Dementors. As you should all know these creatures have recently joined You-Know-Who. We\'ll be discussing what these creatures are today and then later this term you will attempt to learn how to protect yourselves from their effects\" lectured Steelfield.

Harry shivered in his seat. The Dementors had joined Voldemort. Harry was glad that Sirius was not in his direct line of sight as he brooded. He listened as Steelfield questioned several students about their knowledge regarding the Dementors.

One of the students she called upon was Remus, whose answer was vaguely reminiscent of what he had told Harry in his Third Year. \"Dementors are one of the most disgusting creatures on this planet. They are likely to be found in dark dirty places and although Muggles can\'t see them, they can still feel their effects\" he answered.

Harry looked down at the notes he had made in the lesson, realising that he knew most of the information already. They had just finished discussing likely places where Dementors could be found when Professor Steelfield asked the students \"Can anyone here describe what effects the Dementors can cause?\"

Noticing the lack of hands, Harry reluctantly raised his own. \"Yes … ah, Mr Granger. Could you enlighten the class?\"

Harry sombre green eyes became fixed on a point beyond the blackboard. In a dulled tone of voice, he began to explain. \"Dementors … they drain all the good things from you. All the peace, happiness … hope. When they approach, you, you … it\'s like everything disappears. You\'re surrounded by darkness, as if anything that gives out light has been leeched away. It\'s like being in some kind of void, no light, no sound, nothing\" Harry said, a shiver running down his spine as he remembered being trapped with Dudley in that alley with two Dementors the summer before last.

\"The darkness, it\'s so thick and cold, like ice. It\'s not just a change in temperature, it\'s as if your very heart is being frozen, it\'s… it\'s horrible. Everywhere, inside and out. You can\'t escape. They\'re foul creatures. They don\'t have eyes you know\" he continued as he became lost in his memories. \"Just this disgusting scabbed grey skin that’s stretched over where the eyes should be. Their mouths, well, it\'s more of a hole and the air around them put putrid. When … if they get too close to you, it\'s like all your senses are dulled. All your worst memories … you can hear things, the worst things that happened in your life. You relive them again and again, until you collapse that is. You\'re cut off from the rest of the world. This … this white fog surrounds you, you hear, hear…\"

Harry trailed off. He did not see the shocked looks of the students in the class, nor did he notice that he was the sole focus of their attentions. So lost was he in his memories. He could feel his father next to him moving in his seat, but at the same time, Harry was also hearing his last words before his death. Realising that he had lapsed into silence, he refocused his eyes on Professor Steelfield and gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile. \"They are really foul creatures and I\'d suggest that if you can help it, you would avoid them at all costs\".

Harry watched, still slightly detached, as Steelfield shook off her shock and briskly carried on with the lesson. She explained how to counter and defend against the effects of the Dementors and talking about their final weapon, the Kiss. For the rest of the lesson, Harry ignored the curious looks he received from the Marauders as well as those from several other students, including Lily. When the bell finally rang to signal the end of the lesson, Harry shot out of the room, not wanting to talk about what he had said.

Unfortunately, Harry\'s luck had run out. He had barely got to the end of the corridor when Remus, Sirius, and James caught up with him, Peter a short distance behind. \"Hey Harry!\" James called out, his hazel eyes filled with curiosity. \"How did you know all that stuff?\"

\"What you described, it isn\'t in any of the books I\'ve read\" Remus stated as he adjusted his grip on his bag.

\"It was like … like you\'ve actually met Dementors\" Sirius said thoughtfully, concern marring his handsome face. \"That\'s how you knew everything\".

Harry didn\'t know what to do. He was surrounded and he could feel the first tinges of panic on the edge of his mind. Thoughts about the future, his experiences, and the present swirled around. James, whose voice he heard when the Dementors got too close. Sirius, who had been wrongly imprisoned in Azkaban for 12 years and had nearly been Kissed. There was Remus, who had spent months teaching him how to defend himself against the effects of the Dementors. Finally, there was Peter, the reason why he relived the murder of his parents.

Harry\'s panicked green eyes met those of Sirius. However, it was at that moment Harry recalled one of his dreams from the previous night, the one where Sirius fell into the Veil at the Department of Mysteries. Tearing his eyes away, he turned to look at Remus. Those steady amber eyes that were currently filled with concern. However, this wasn\'t his Remus Harry realised, the Remus that he had confided in was 20 years away. Perhaps for the first time since Harry had arrived, he truly realised that he was alone.

He did something that went against everything he was, against everything that was Gryffindor. He ran. He missed the bewildered looks on the four boys\' faces, nor the quick intense conversation they had between themselves.

He ran, his feet leading him towards the Quidditch pitch. Harry did not stop running until he reached the stands. He shrugged off his bag and dropped to the ground, drawing his knees up before leaning forwards, his forehead resting in the crook of his arms.

Harry had not been sitting long when he heard footsteps slowly approaching the Quidditch stand. Lifting his head slightly he noticed that it was Remus who had followed him. Harry watched as the werewolf gracefully sat down next to him before returning his gaz the the floor. He could feel those amber eyes burning a hole into him and reluctantly, Harry raised his own sad green eyes to meet them. Attempting to reassure Remus, he forced a small smile and explained, \"I\'m okay now. It\'s just got a bit intense back there\".

\"Are you sure?\" asked Remus, a hint of worry lacing his voice.

\"I think so\" replied Harry in a soft voice. He let out a small bitter laugh, \"I bet they\'re all talking about how the new kid can\'t cope\".

\"I doubt it, but so what? I don\'t, and I know James, Sirius, and Peter don\'t either. I admit I don\'t know you at all well, but I get this feeling that you\'re a lot stronger than you look\".

\"Still the Slytherins will have a field day with this\" groaned Harry.

\"Well then, they\'re idiots. You … it sounded like you knew what you were talking about in Defence. About the Dementors, I mean. I\'ve read about them, but what you described, that\'s never been documented so I can only presume it\'s first hand knowledge\" Remus mused. \"If people think you\'re weak because of that, just ignore them. You know better. Sometimes its be to to grow a thick skin and ignore all the bad things people say about you…\"

Harry got the feeling that Remus wasn\'t referring to him anymore, but about people\'s opinion regarding werewolves. He remained silent until Remus spoke up again. \"I can\'t expect, after all you barely know me\" he said, not realising the irony of the statement \"but if you want to talk about what happened just now. It might make you feel better?\"

Harry sighed. He wanted to talk about what had happened, to share the burden with someone. However, his common sense told him that he couldn\'t, that he had to keep the events of the future secret. Nid hid he like having to lie to Remus. Eventually Harry compromised. \"If I\'m too close to Dementors, I hear my parent\'s being murdered. It\'s my only memory of them as well, so as you can tell, it\'s not really a pleasant experience for me\" he explained.

Remus could not say anything in response for several moments, but instead placed his hand on Harry\'s shoulder as a sign of support. Finally, he managed to say, \"I\'m so sorry Harry. That must be terrible. I can\'t imagine what you must feel\".

\"I just hope that no one will have to go through what happened to me, but unfortunately I doubt my wish will come true. Not with everything as it is\", said Harry with closed eyes.

\"I guess so\" Remus sighed, his light brown hair falling into his eyes as he tilted his head back to look at the blue sky. \"To a certain extent we\'re shielded here at Hogwarts. The killing, disappearances, it\'s out there\", he said waving his hand absently. \"The only times we know what\'s going on is if it\'s in the paper or someone gets a letter … well you can guess. After all, everyone says that the Dark Lord won\'t come here. That he\'s too afraid of Dumbledore. We\'re safe here, but the problem with that is you can forget about the people who aren\'t here…\"

\"Merlin! Remus, I\'m so sorry! I didn\'t mean to inflict my depressed mood on you\" Harry apologised.

\"Don\'t worry. Sometimes we all need a bit of help\"

**********

Remus sat down with his friends at the Gryffindor table for dinner. Normally, dinner was a noisy affair, but this time the four friends were quieter than normal. Harry had not come down to dinner. At some point in-between Charms and walking into the Great Hall, the Marauders had lost the quiet green-eyed teenager. A question hung in Remus\' mind. \'Just how did Harry manage to give us the slip, especially since he can\'t possibly know his way around Hogwarts yet\' but it was pushed aside when James asked him about Harry\'s behaviour after their DADA lesson.

After their little talk, Harry and Remus had hurried back into the castle to their Charms lesson. Luckily, Sirius had grabbed a couple of sandwiches for the two teenagers so they did not have to suffer the double lesson in hunger. Remus had noticed James sending him several curious glances but he had shaken his head, indicating that he would explain later. Instead, the Sixth Year class settled down into a review of the previous years\' work with Professor Flitwick. As usual, Lily Evans had breezed through the class surpassing all the other students in the class, much to the dismay of several Slytherins also in the class.

Remus had kept an eye on Harry though out Charms but did not notice any unusual behaviour, not that he knew what Harry\'s usual behaviour would be like, Remus reminded himself. Instead, Harry had kept quiet, concentrating on the work assigned and not talking to anyone in the class. Absentmindedly Remus had noticed that Harry\'s charm work, while not on the same level as Lily, was by no means unimpressive either. All in all, Harry was proving to be a very interesting young man.

Over the course of the dinner, Remus explained to his three friends what Harry and Remus had discussed earlier that day. The three boys had been shocked at the revelation that Harry heard the murder of his parents when he was confronted by Dementors. The three friends were prepared to offer their sympathy to Harry, but Remus told them that perhaps it would be better not to mention the fact they knew what had happened, but instead allow him to confide in them. After all, they did not know how Harry would react to everyone knowing what he suffers from when under the Dementor\'s effects.

It was several minutes later when their Head of House, Professor McGonagall, approached the Gryffindor table. She questioned Remus regarding the whereabouts of Harry, to which the four boys recounted an abbreviated version of their DADA lesson, leaving out the talk Remus and Harry had during lunch. Much to the Marauders surprise, after listening to their explanation, McGonagall asked them to take some food for Harry. She also asked them to remind Harry that he was more than welcome to talk to the Headmaster if he was having any troubles.

Four extremely curious boys made their way back to Gryffindor Tower. As they navigated the many staircases and corridors, they discussed the possible reasons why McGonagall and in particular Dumbledore were so interested in the new student. They found Harry in their dorm and upon questioning him, found out that he had been out flying to clear his head. Remus, distracting James from his musings, informed the green-eyed boy regarding the conversation they had with their Transfiguration teacher at dinner.

Renotenoted that Harry seemed embarrassed by the attention he received, most likely due to his recent behaviour, and so Remus told the others that perhaps they should get on with doing their assigned homework. It seemed to divert the attention away from Harry, which had been Remus\' intention. James and Sirius had moaned a great deal, making several jokes regarding \'Perfect Prefect Remus\' which he brushed aside, but eventually the five boys settled down either doing their homework or in James and Sirius\' case, planning some joke or another on an unsuspecting target.

**********

Harry sat in the little niche, looking out of the window at the empty Hogwarts grounds. He sighed as he remembered that he should be sleeping, like the rest of his dorm, but that was the problem. It felt so weird; his dad and mom … Sirius … they were alive. \'Alive and sixteen\' he reminded himself. \'Why does it always happen to me?\' he asked himself. \'Do I have perpetual victim tattooed on my head? Oh yeah, I forgot, I do!\'

The silver light from the moon filtered in through the large open window. Luckily, the night was warm therefore, the temperature in the circular room did not drop significantly. Harry\'s keen eyes picked out something approaching … Hedwig! \'She must have been out hunting\'. In all the confusion and excitement of the day, Harry had completely forgotten about his owl. He waited as she approached the open window and sat herself down on his knee. He stroked her white feathers as he thought about the situation he had literally dropped into.

Harry wondered what everyone would be thinking back in his own time, or would they actually miss him. \'Time travel seemed to be extremely complicated\' thought Harry. He vaguely remembered something about cause and effect from one of Dudley\'s TV shows. \'The Grandfather Paradox, or in his case the Father Paradox. If he did something, would it change the future? Would it be a big change or something small? What if he didn\'t mean to do anything, but an accident meant that he inadvertently changed time. Would he be in trouble if he did? Merlin! How would anyone know he changed time? This is ridiculous!\'

Harry\'s thoughts drifted as he petted Hedwig, his green eyes unfocused. \'Poor Remus, he\'s lost all the Marauders, after all Wormtail doesn\'t count anymore. That\'s another thing. Not that I\'ve been spending any time with him, or that I really want to, but Peter isn\'t like Wormtail. Admittedly, I don\'t know him that well yet and honestly I don\'t think I want to, especiaconsconsidering that he betrayed everyone, but I can\'t see Wormtail in him yet. I wonder what happened to make him so evil

\"It\'ll be all right won\'t it Hedwig?\" he asked in a soft whisper.

The snowy owl looked back at him for several seconds before hooting quietly and nipping the finger that was petting her, as if to reassure him. Harry smiled at the owl, glad that he had a friend, someone familiar, with him in this time.

In his occupied state, he did not notice the light footsteps approaching him as he sat in front of the window. Nor did he hear the quiet gasp from the approaching person. Harry was oblivious to the fact that the silver light that shone through the window highlighted his pale skin and glinted off his unruly black hair, making it seem to the outside observer as if he had silver highlights. The moonlight reflected off his emerald eyes and the snowy owl just added to the glow emanating from the silent teenager.

Harry was brought out of his musings by a soft touch on his arm. He looked up with wide eyes at Sirius, who was in turn looking at him with a concerned expression on his handsome face. Harry took a few seconds to compose himself since the urge to warn Sirius about the future had reared up when he had seen Sirius standing before him. With an apologetic smile, Harry apologised to the taller boy, \"I\'m sorry I woke you up, I didn\'t mean to. I just thought some fresh air would help me get back to sleep\".

Sirius smiled down at him, an indecipherable look in his sapphire eyes. \"It\'s okay, I got up to go to the bathroom and saw you sitting here. Thought I\'d check to see if you were okay? Not too homesick or anything?\"

\"I was just thinking about some people I left behind, wondering if they\'d miss me. They\'re some pretty special people you see, helped me through some really bad times, especially this past summer\" replied Harry in a soft voice.

\"I understand. My summer wasn\'t the greatest either. Luckily, I\'ve got some great friends, especially James. I\'m sure your friends miss you too\", said Sirius. He paused for a moment in which both boys privately recalled their individual summers before changing the subject, tha that your owl?\"

Harry\'s face lit up. \"Yes, this is Hedwig. I\'ve had ever since I was eleven, when I first found out that I was a wizard. She was my first present and she\'s been with me through thick and thin\". Hg hog hooted in agreement and preened as Sirius stroked her feathers.

\"You know, I can\'t actually believe I\'m saying this, but we should try and get some sleep. We have classes tomorrow or later today, I should say. Don\'t tell Remus though. He\'ll send me off to see Pomfrey!\" murmured Sirius with a small chuckle. \"Luckily we can sleep in a bit longer than usual this morning\".

Harry agreed and with a few whispered words to Hedwig he stepped down from the window ledge and made his way back to his bed. He heard a whispered \"Good night\" and returned the courtesy before climbing into bed. It was not until he was at the threshold of sleep when he realised that Sirius had gone straight to bed.

**********

Whe>When Harry finally woke up the next morning, he found that Pettigrew had already left for his Herbology lesson. He spent the morning in the library researching several potions and the variations in their effectiveness when substituting particular ingredients. The afternoon lesson was Care of Magical Creatures. Although Harry had known not to expect Hagrid to be conducting the lesson, he was still surprised to see Professor Kettleburn. Therefore, Tuesday\'s lessons passed by quite quickly and with relatively less trouble than the day before.

That evening found Harry and Lily sat at one of the table in the Gryffindor Common room. Lily had approached Harry earlier that day, suggesting that they might do their Transfiguration homework together.

\"So what about the Switching spell? I can do it some of the time, but I don\'t think I quite understand the formula behind it\" asked Lily frowning at her notes.

Harry smiled as he remembered Neville\'s attempts at that type of spell. \"I\'m not sure, have you copied the formula down correctly?\" he replied.

\"Of course I did!\" Lily said in an indignant tone.

\"Let\'s have a look then … ah! You\'ve mixed up Steps 2 and 3. That might be why\" replied Harry somewhat smugly. Harry was glad of the little pep-talk that he had with himself in the early hours of the morning and was determined to enjoy what time he had with his parents and their friends.

Lily raised an eyebrow at Harry. \"What! Hey, you never know. You might have written it down wrong!\" she said challengingly.

\"No I didn\'t Lily\", said Harry, a small smirk teasing his lips. \"Got it straight out of the book. Wait here … there it is\", he said, showing her the relevant section in his coursebook. \"You probably remember it as one thing and wrote it down as another, which is why you only manage it successfully some of the time\" he explained.

\"Okay, I admit it. Sorry Harry\" apologised Lily.

\"No problem\" Harry answered. \"It\'s not like I\'m any better at this than you are. James and Sirius, well they\'re another matter. I can\'t describe how good they are at this sort of stuff\".

\"Oh no! Please tell me you\'re not joining the Potter and Black bandwagon!\" cried Lily. \"I\'ll never be able to speak to you again, not civilly at least!\"

\"They seem like alright people so far. What\'s so wrong with them?\" asked Harry, curious as to what Lily thought of her future husband. He remembered that scene from Snape\'s pensive and how Lily had hated James. \'Maybe if I can find out why she doesn\'t like him, I can change it so she does\'

\"Those two are … I don\'t think there are words to describe them. Arrogant jerks I suppose, pig-headed enough to think that they can do what they like to whomever they like\" she replied, her face turning a light pink from anger. \"They think they\'re so great and those so called pranks. Urghh! I can\'t stand them!\"

\"Isn’t that being a little bit harsh?\" murmured Harry, not wanting to anger Lily but still curious.

\"I feel incredibly sorry for you, having to share a dorm with them. Merlin knows that I\'d kill Potter if I had to spend longer than an hour in his company\" retorted Lily.

Harry had to duck under the table, pretending he had dropped his quill, in order to hide the amused look on his face. With a more composed expression, he returned to his seat. \"Maybe you just haven\'t got to know him that well? He could actually be a really nice person?\"

\"You keep your illusions Harry and I\'ll stick to the facts\" stated Lily before returning their attention back to the Switching Spells they had been discussing.

It was not long after that conversation when Lily left the Common room after completing their homework for the next day. Harry was gathering his books when he noticed that Pettigrew looked to be approaching the table where he had been sat. Stilling his movements, he waited for the smaller boy to arrive and he was not disappointed. He resisted the sudden urge to curse Pettigrew, instead waiting for the boy to speak through slightly narrowed green eyes.

\"Y- You should know, Lily Evans there … she\'s not available\" he stuttered.

\"So what\" sneered Harry. \"I don\'t care, but it\'s not as if she\'s going out with anyone at the moment anyway\".

\"James won\'t be happy at all if you try to move in on her\", he said in reply.

\"Look Pettigrew. I\'m not, and never will be, interested in going out with Lily. I don\'t like her in that way\" stated Harry. \'Not to mention that it would be wrong on so many levels!\' he privately thought. \'For goodness sakes\', she\'s my mother. Oh yeah, I can\'t tell the rat that. By the way, I\'m from the future and you\'re suggesting that I\'m interested in dating my mother! Definitely … not!\'

\"Lo- look Harry\" sed Ped Pettigrew, his watery eyes darting around the room, looking for someone. \"I\'m just warning you. James can get a bit … jealous. You don\'t want to annoy him, and Evans is one way to do that\".

\"Well you can stop worrying about that then can\'t you\" snarled Harry, rapidly losing his patience with Pettigrew. \"I already told you I\'m not interesting in dating her\". With a quick to to check that he had not left anything behind, he grabbed his homework and stalked off towards the staircase that led upto the dorms before he lost his temper and said something that he shouldn\'t.

Pettigrew watched Harry storm out of the Common Room. He wondered about the strange new boy. \'There\'s something strange about him\' he thought. \'I don\'t know what but I don\'t like it. He says he doesn\'t like Evans but I just don\'t believe him. I better not tell James though, at least not yet, not without proof. I\'ll keep an eye on that Harry Granger. If he comes onto Evans or does anything strange then I\'ll tell James. He\'ll be really pleased with me I bet\'. It was with a strange smile gracing his lips that Pettigrew returned to the shadowy corner where he had been watching Harry and Lily earlier as he made up his Divination homework.

**********

I apologise in advance for any mistakes, spelling, grammatical or otherwise. It is all my fault since this is unbeta\'d. Please review (long is good!) and send any helpful comments, all will be appreciated. Any flames, however, will be, in all honesty, read then disregarded. Thank you for reading!