I\'ll Forget You

A/N: I know it has been a while since I last updated. With my other WIP as well as school, updates will take a bit, but I do promise that this story will be finished. :) Also, if you want to know updates on this or my other stories, they can be found at: http://www.livejournal.com/users/cassie_snape/ . Also, thank you so much for the reviews! I greatly enjoy reading them and knowing what people think of the story. And, thanks to snapeaholic for beta-ing this.


Chapter Eight: Confessions


The light of dawn filtered through the London fog as Hermione appeared just outside of Hogwarts’ anti-apparition boundary. She was cold and damp from walking along the streets while a mist had fallen off and on through out the night. She sniffled slightly as
she walked toward the looming castle. She wasn’t exactly certain what had finally brought her here, but she knew here was where she had to be. She had to talk to Ginny and find out if she also knew that Ron was cheating on her.

The click of her shoes echoed slightly, breaking the castle’s early morning silence. She
went directly to Ginny and Draco’s quarters and knocked on the door, hoping that she hadn’t disturbed them too much on a Saturday morning. She waited a moment and then knocked again.

The door slowly opened, finding Ginny Malfoy dressed in a skimpy silk robe with her hair tousled. “Did I wake you, Ginny?” Hermione inquired as she looked at her friend.

Ginny lightly smoothed down her robe and blushed a deep red. “No, we were up. Please come in and have a seat. Would you like some tea?” She looked at Hermione. “You really look like you could use some hot tea. What have you been doing? You look horrible.”

“Some hot tea would be nice,” Hermione said as she sat down on the couch. She felt quite chilled. She just knew that she would come down with a cold for being so foolish and walking around all night.

“Can’t you get rid of them, Ginny?” asked a rather whiny voice from the doorway to the bedroom.

Hermione turned her head and then blushed as she saw Draco standing at the doorway clutching a sheet around his mid-section. She realized completely why they were awake. “Good morning, Draco,” she replied as she averted her gaze.

“Oh, it’s you,” Draco said, figuring it had to be important to bring Granger there at such an early time. “I’m going back to bed, Gin.” He disappeared back into the bedroom and shut the door.

“I’m so sorry about disturbing you two,” Hermione said as she sighed, realizing how much of a mess her life was compared to Ginny’s perfect life with Malfoy of all people.

“It’s all right,” Ginny said as she poured Hermione a cup of tea. “What’s wrong, Hermione? Not that I don’t mind a visit, but something is definitely wrong. You can tell me.” She sat down on the couch beside Hermione and tucked her leg underneath herself as she sipped her cup of tea.

Hermione looked at Ginny as she drank half of her tea in one gulp. She the cup down as her hands started to tremble. “I went home last night after work, and I…I saw Ron…with another woman,” she said hesitantly, completely uncertain of how Ginny would react to what her brother had done.

Ginny was not surprised. She had expected something like this a lot sooner actually. “I’m sorry that you had to walk in on that, Hermione, but can you tell me that you are honestly surprised by this?”

Hermione looked at Ginny. “Well, yes, I can,” she said quickly and defensively. Then, she sighed. “No, I guess not actually. It’s just…I thought….I don’t know.” She bowed her head dejectedly.

“Do you love Ron, Hermione?”

“Of course I do! How can you think I don’t?”

Ginny reached over, lightly touching Hermione’s arm. “Hermione, do you really love him though? I don’t doubt that you just love him, just do you love him as more than a friend?”

Hermione looked at Ginny and slowly shook her head. “No, I guess I don’t really love, Ron. I thought I could when I married him, but he’s always been more of a best friend than anything more.” She realized how horrible this sounded. “I’m sorry, Ginny. I know he is your brother.”

Ginny laughed. “Well, my brother can take care of himself. I know he pressured you to rush into this marriage. He had just gotten a good job, and you were just starting with your law firm. He thought it would be perfect. He was so infatuated with you. He shouldn’t have cheated on you, though. Do you know who it is?”

Hermione shook her head. “I have no clue. I just left when I saw them. They probably don’t even know I was there.” She sighed. “I think it would be best if Ron and I got a divorce.”

“Actually, I think so too.” Ginny looked at Hermione. “You are my friend, and Ron is my brother. I want to see both of you happy, and if you can’t be happy with each other, then I think it is time to do what will make you both happy.”

Hermione picked up her cup of tea again and finished it. She felt a bit warmer, though her hair was still a bit damp and getting bushy as it dried. “Thank you, Ginny. I’m sorry I bothered you with this. I just didn’t know where to go.” She knew that she had been shocked. All she had decided while she had walked was that she had to get divorced. She had no clue where her life would take her afterwards.

“It’s alright, Hermione.” Ginny glanced back to her bedroom door.

Hermione caught Ginny’s glance. “I’ll leave you and Draco alone. Thank you. You’ve given me a bit to think about.” She stood up. “Bye, Ginny.” She gave a slight smile and showed herself out.

Standing out in the hall, she tried to decide what to do next. She knew that she had to talk to Ron, but she also didn’t want to see the other woman. It hurt deeply that he would do this to her. She sighed and leaned against the wall. Her thoughts drifted away
from Ron and to Severus. She was a complete fool, and she knew that she should leave him be, but she just wanted to check in on him. She knew that he would be up, despite the fact that the sun was just rising in the sky. He was always up this early. She pushed herself away from the wall and walked down to the dungeons. She knocked on the door to his office and only had to wait a mere moment until he answered.

“Whatever could you — Oh, Ms. Granger, what brings you by this early in the morning?” Severus inquired as his dark eyes perused over her form. He noted that her hair was damp, and she looked a little paler than normal and tired. He moved aside, allowing her to come in.

She entered. “Well, I was just in the area and decided to see how the potion was coming along. Have you had any luck with it?”

He slightly raised an eyebrow, not believing her story. London wasn’t in the area of Hogwarts. “There has been little progress,” he stated as he crossed his arms. “Now tell me the real reason you are here, Ms. Granger.”

She lightly smoothed down her hair with her hand, noticing that it was drying and going to end up bushy and frizzy. She made a slight face at the thought and then looked at him. “I just ended up here. I walked the streets of London all night, and I had just finished talking with Ginny before I came down here.”

A flicker of concern flashed through his eyes before he gave her a stern look. “Why were you walking in London all night? It’s not the safest place to walk.”

She bowed her head slightly and shrugged. “I didn’t want to go home.” She sighed and looked away, trailing her finger along the edge of his desk. “I caught Ron cheating on me last night.” She shook her head slowly. “You were right to call me a stupid foolish girl. I was. I am. I didn’t even see this coming, and yet I should have known the entire time that it would. I...I couldn’t even love him the way that I should have. I never loved him like...like I did you.” Her chocolate brown eyes glanced up into his dark unreadable ones. She suddenly felt very awkward, and she knew that she had made a mistake in coming down here. “I should go,” she said, making her way to the door.

His arm shot out as his fingers clamped around her wrist. Deep down he knew that he should be pleased that she had finally gotten what she deserved for leaving him like she had, but he couldn’t be as pleased as he wished. “He shouldn’t have done that to you,” he said quietly. “I’ve always thought that you deserved better than Weasley.”

She felt tingles run through her body as he held onto her wrist. She looked at him, surprised by his rather nice words. She was expecting a more snide remark. “I had better until he told me to go away,” she answered softly as she looked at him.

He instantly released her wrist when and took a step away. “It was for your own good. You wouldn’t have been happy here. You deserved more than an old man and a room in the dungeons. Besides, we’ve been over this before.”

She nodded. “Yes, we have, and, you were right about that too. I would have resented not being able to do what I thought I wanted to do. I needed to grow up and realize what I wanted in life. I can’t remember a time, though, when I was happier except when I was down here with you.” She paused. “There is a part of me that wished that I hadn’t listened and stayed. There is a part of me that wanted to come back here every day after I left you, but you made yourself quite clear that you wanted me to go.”

Despite the fact that his heart was jumping in his chest that she had wanted to come back to him, he was angry. “I had to make you leave, but do you really think that I wanted you to go?”

She stared at him. “Yes, I did. You told me that I should go. Before we had our last time together, you told me that you didn’t want me. You told me that this was just a fling and that I had to leave. I begged you for that one last goodbye, Severus, or did you forget?”

“No, I didn’t forget,” he snapped at her. “You obviously thought that this was just some fling too. You were the one who had said that it had been fun.”

She gave him a questioning look. “When did I say that?”

His eyes seemed to blaze as he realized that she didn’t even remember that simple phrase that had tormented him since she left. “Right before you left me that last time we were together,” he ground out.

She thought about it briefly before remembering even saying that. “Oh,” she said softly. “I had completely forgotten about that. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded, not that it wasn’t fun being with you. I was hurt that you still told me to leave. I’m so sorry if you took it differently.” She reached out, lightly touching his arm.

He suddenly grabbed her arms and pushed her against the wall as he glared at her. He wanted to shake her and hurt her like she had hurt him. “Sorry isn’t good enough,” he roared.

Her eyes widened as she stared at him. He was so angry, and she understood why. “I...I never meant to hurt you, Severus. I was hurting when I left, and I said it just to spite you. I never thought we were just a fling. I loved you, and you pushed me away continually. I am sorry, though, even if you can’t forgive me.”

He didn’t release her as he glared down on her. He knew that she meant what she said. It was clearly written on her face and especially in her eyes. He slowly slid his hands down her arms as they fell to his sides. “You didn’t need someone like me, Hermione. I should have never even started anything with you.”

“Perhaps we shouldn’t have, but I was rather stubborn about it all. I wanted you. I trusted you.”

“Why did you trust me, Hermione? You knew that I was a former Death Eater. Plus I had never been exactly nice to your friends or particularly you.”

She shrugged. “Harry and Ron thought I was crazy to trust you. I just always had a feeling that you were on our side, especially after first year.” She blushed slightly. “I had a crush on you, and then when you saved me during the final battle...I couldn’t help but fall in love with you, despite the fact that you can be a complete bastard at times.”

He smirked. “I remember hearing that you kept the others back during that battle, too, and, I know you were at my hospital bed every day until Madame Pomfrey finally released me.”

She smiled, thinking back on the rather fond memories. The last few months of her seventh year were her happiest months. She then sighed softly. “Was I just a fling to you, Severus?”

His thin lips parted briefly as if he was going to give an automatic response to her question before he paused. “No, you weren’t. I was worried that you were too young. You had the entire world in front of you, and I didn’t want to stand in your way.”

“And now my world has come to a crashing halt. My marriage has failed. My job is unfulfilling. I think I need a change in my life.” Her eyes met his. “I never loved Ron beyond a friend. I just thought that I could make things work with him. I thought that I could forget you.” She gave him a pained look and closed her eyes, slightly shaking her head. Her tongue ran over her lips. “I never stopped loving you.” It was so hard to be in his presence when all she wanted was to be in his arms again.

Slowly he raised his hand and brushed his fingers along her soft cheek. She was still another man’s wife, but that man had thrown her away for another woman. He knew that Ron Weasley was not the man for her. He was just a mere boy. Severus didn’t know what to say to her, though. He had too much pride to say he had missed her and loved her, too, and wanted her. “You should go,” he said softly. He didn’t want her to go. She said that she still loved him, but he didn’t want her doing something that she would later regret again.

Her face fell, and she felt completely rejected by him. If Ron, who was once infatuated with her, didn’t want her, why did she even think that Severus might still would? She moved away from him and went over to the door. She paused there. “Severus, did you ever love me?” She didn’t look at him, afraid that he was going to say no.

He gazed at her. He saw the look of rejection on her face. He knew that he should tell her no. True, it was a lie, but he knew it would be easier to just say that he never loved her. “Yes,” he said simply.

She slowly let out the breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding as a couple of tears fell down her cheeks. He had said that he did love her at least at one point in time. She walked over and stood before him. “Severus, could I ask you for a favor?” He nodded. “Could you hold me for a moment? Just a moment.” She knew that she shouldn’t do this, but she had to feel his arms around her at least once more.

He paused, then slowly opened his arms and put them lightly around her.

She leaned against him, resting her head against his chest. His scent filled her nostrils, making her feel a bit lightheaded. Her own arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to her. She missed this and him.

He sighed softly as he slowly wrapped his arms more tightly around her. He knew that he shouldn’t have given in to her. She needed to leave, but, by Merlin, he wanted her.

She shifted against him and felt a hard bulge against her stomach. She glanced up at him. She could hear his heartbeat quickening in his chest. Her nipples hardened as she knew that he desired her. She swallowed hard and licked her lips, which had gone dry. The rational side was telling her to let go and leave, but her heart was telling her a completely different thing. She bounced up on her toes and kissed him.

He was surprised by her kiss, and it took him a moment to respond. He tightened his hold onto her as he thrust his tongue into her mouth, kissing her deeply. If it wasn’t for the fact that he could feel her, he would have thought that he was just dreaming again.

“I want you,” she mumbled against his lips, pressing her body wantonly against him.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He had wanted her for so long. Scooping her up in his arms, he took her to his bedroom and placed her on the bed. Part of him knew that this was wrong as she was still married, but she had told him that she wanted him, and he decided to continue. He leaned down and kissed her deeply as he felt her fumbling to undo the many buttons on his clothing. He was in no mood to wait around for this. It had been much too long. He took out his wand and cast their clothing off before setting his wand on the nightstand.

“I’ve wanted you for such a long time,” she murmured against his skin. She raked her nails down his chest, leaving a trail of red marks. Her body felt like it was on fire. She spread her legs wide and wrapped them around his waist, pulling him toward her. “Please,” she begged as she looked into his dark eyes.

He grabbed her hips firmly and pulled her towards him, impaling his hard cock deep inside her. A groan emitted from his lips as he felt how hot, tight, and wet she was. He began to pound deeply and quickly as he pulled her legs over his shoulders. His hands massaged her breasts as he kissed her, allowing their tongues to entwine.

Her senses flared as she moaned and cried out as he pounded her closer and closer to orgasm. Her legs stiffened and trembled. “Severus!” she screamed as she wrapped her fingers in his hair.

He heard her call his name, and he quickened, his orgasm following right after hers, unable to hold back as he felt her inner muscles clutching his cock. He knew that this
was quick, but all the bottled emotions had just poured out. It had indeed been too long. He collapsed lightly on top of her before rolling off and pulling her with him. “I’ve missed you,” he admitted softly as he stroked her hair. He felt satisfied, content, and tired.

She nuzzled against him. “I’ve missed you too,” she agreed as her eyes slipped closed.

Ten minutes later Hermione’s eyes shot open wide as she realized what she had done. She had cheated as well. She was no better than Ron. Ron. Oh, she was still a married woman. She silently slipped from Severus’ arms and dressed, making certain not to stir him. She had to talk to Ron and figure things out. She glanced around for some parchment to write Severus a note, but she couldn’t find any right off. A soft sigh fell from her lips, and she quietly left his room, surprised that she didn’t wake him in the process. She left Hogwarts and apparated back home. She really hadn’t wanted to leave him like that, but she had to set things straight with Ron before she could do anything
else with Severus.

Upon arriving at her flat, she unlocked the door and opened it, finding Ron sitting on the couch and watching some Muggle program on the television. “Hi, Ron,” she said a bit stiffly. “We need to talk. Can you turn that off?”

“Can it wait?” Ron groaned.

“No, it can’t.” She watched him turn off the television. “I came back last night before leaving again. I saw you with that other woman.”

His eyes widened. He had no clue that she had seen or had known. “Hermione, I can explain.”

“Who is she?” she blurted out, feeling a need to know.

“Luna,” he said simply.

“How long?”

“Around six months.”

She felt a knot form in her stomach. He had been doing this for six months. “Oh. Was there anyone else?”

He shook his head. “No, there wasn’t. I never meant to do this to you, Hermione. You were never here, though, and I got tired of waiting around for you.”

Her eyes flashed. “What? You knew that I had my law firm, Ron, and I was home most nights. Where were you? You were always away on Quidditch games. Don’t go and blame your infidelity on me!”

“I never said that you couldn’t come with us! If you had just given up that stupid law firm and had been home like a normal wife.”

“Ron, what century are you even living in?! You know how much my law practice means to me. I wanted to make something of myself. I’m not your mother. I couldn’t stay home and raise children like she did and be happy with that. You should have known that,” she cried exasperatedly.

He stood up and threw up his hands. “Well, I thought you might change. I should have known. I loved you, Hermione, and you barely gave me the time of day. Of course I found it in someone else.”

She felt like she had been slapped. “If you were unhappy with our marriage, then you should have come to me and told me.”

He ran his hands though his hair. “Were you happy in our marriage? Can you say that you never were with anyone either? You’re gone a lot of hours, or are you just perfect and don’t make mistakes?”

She looked away from him. “I thought I could be happy, but I wasn’t. I preferred us as just friends,” she admitted. “I do make mistakes, Ron, and marrying you was one of them, but I kept my vows until this morning after I had found you with Luna.”

“Who was it? Harry?”

“No, it wasn’t Harry. Harry’s too good of a friend, and he’s your best friend, too. You can’t obviously think he would do something so low,” she snapped, offended that he would even think that of Harry.

“Then, who?” he asked, having no clue who else it would be.

“Severus Snape,” she said quietly.

“SNAPE?!” he roared. “He...he’s old enough to be your father! He is foul and disgusting and an overall greasy git. How could you even think of being with that?”

Her jaw clenched as she forced herself to continue to look away from him. “You wouldn’t understand, Ron. Severus is different. I...I never told you or Harry this before, but I was with him during my last year in Hogwarts.” She glanced at him, noticing that he looked sick and angry.

“Hermione...that...I...how...” He shivered at the thought. It was just too disgusting, and he didn’t want to think about it. “Have you been seeing him this entire time?”

“No! I haven’t. This morning was the first time in years. I’m sorry, Ron,” she sighed. “I think it would be best for both of us to get divorced.”

“Whatever,” he said as he took out his wand and began to pack a suitcase with it. The clothes never would fold up correctly. “I’ll get the rest of my things later. I can’t even look at you. Just send me the papers or whatever.” He went to the door, muttering angrily under his breath about her and Snape. He left, slamming the door on his way out.

She let out a scream of frustration and flung a glass at the door, watching it shatter. Ron had no right to treat her that way and act like all of this was her fault. It wasn’t her fault. He had cheated on her first, and at least she had gone back to someone she loved. She then sank down on the couch and began to cry. Everything had gotten so messed up, and she didn’t know where to begin to fix it.


A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated, so please review!