100 Ways to Kill a Weasley

Ron’s cock swelled as he stood outside the library of Grimmauld Place. Hermione was absolutely killing him, lick by lick, and Ron was dying to know just how good her fellatio technique really was.



Hermione stretched out across the couch by the window, savoring a lollipop and reading what appeared to be a history of the British Isles. An angelic halo lit her hair. Her actions were not the least bit innocent. She was indeed practicing her fellatio technique on that cherry sucker, and the book was an annotated copy of the Kama Sutra with a charmed cover to disguise its contents. The war was over and she had new goals: obtaining a healing apprenticeship, continuing to raise awareness on the rights of magical creatures, developing a large sexual repetoire. One mustn’t neglect one’s private life, after all.



Hermione sucked in her cheeks and pumped the lolly in and out of her mouth. Then she attempted to deep throat it. Ron muffled a groan and fervently wished to be that lollipop. “Merlin’s holey knee socks, please please please let me be that lollipop,” he whimpered.



“Kreacher lives to serve Master Harry and his friends,” Kreacher’s voice croaked behind him, and suddenly, Ron was in a warm, wet cavern of heaven. All the textures in her mouth! The slight scraping of her teeth, the raspiness of her tongue, the silkiness of her lips and cheeks. Everywhere, he was being sucked, caressed, licked. Ron reveled happily in Hermione’s mouth for many minutes before his happy stupor was interrupted.



“Severus,” Hermione happily sighed. She smiled as she yanked Ron from his haven, and lifted her lips for a kiss. “How was your trip?”



“I will tell you later. Right now I’d rather be . . . evaluating your progress in your studies,” he murmured as he trailed kisses along her jaw and neck. He suddenly scooped Hermione up, causing her to drop her book, and carried her towards the staircase. “Show-off!” Ron scowled, as much as his hard candy face would allow, as Severus effortlessly climbed the steps with Hermione in his arms. However, Ron was quite grateful to have not met an unpleasantly sticky end among the fuzz of the chair or the floor.



Severus laid Hermione gently down on the bed. She sat up and began to throw Ron towards the rubbish bin before Severus stayed her hand. “I have . . . plans for that lollipop,” he spoke in a deep panty-wetting drawl. He pulled the tantalizing red sucker from her fingers and circled the candy with his tongue as Ron prayed for unconsciousness.



But then Severus began to trace the sugary treat across Hermione’s delicate collarbones, following the trail with his tongue, kissing and nipping along the way. He unbuttoned the top of her blouse, gave another lick to rewet the candy and slid the lollipop down into the warmth of her cleavage. He continued alternating between covering Hermione with tasty and sticky sugar trails and unclothing her body. Ron happily decided that an intimate tour of Hermione’s luscious curves was well worth the traumas of being in Snape’s mouth. If Ron had possessed an emotional range greater than a teaspoon, he could have written poems about the softness of Hermione’s thighs, the curvature of her buttocks, the graceful arch of her spine. As it was, he merely drooled, which thankfully wasn’t the least bit noticeable in a lollipop.



Then. And then . . . there he was, sliding along Hermione’s beautiful bare pelvis, around her clitoris, and across her pussy lips. Helping to defeat dark lords must rack up huge karma points, because Ron couldn’t figure out how anyone could deserve such wonders otherwise, even with the downside of being repeatedly thrust into Snape’s mouth. Ron traveled her perineum, the crease of her thighs, the hood of her clit, just grazing over her lower lips over and over again. After another firm slurp from Severus, Ron was firmly pushed along those wonderful, juicy pussy lips and into Hermione’s hot little cunt. Again and again and again.



Ron was singing hallelujah choruses to himself when he was abruptly shoved back into Hermione’s mouth. She sucked lightly and then began to moan. And move. And shake. She tucked Ron into the pouch of her cheek and continued to groan and wail and whimper as Severus enthusiastically attended to her needs in many, many ways. Her shrieks and shouts of “Severus!” nearly deafened Ron as Hermione changed directions and positions multiple times, making Ron dizzy with motion-induced nausea. After an excruciating length of time, Hermione gave a final scream and collapsed on the bed. Severus swiftly and happily followed.



After several minutes of basking in the afterglow, Severus noticed the stick coming out of Hermione’s mouth and burst into small amused chuckles. He gave Hermione a kiss, took the lollipop out, and gave a long suck. The candy was almost gone, so he gave a mental shrug, and bit down.



* crunch! *



So long, sucker.