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...The Prophet #4
Daily Prophet News Articles
Ministry Investigation Confirms Problems With Birthrates in Wizarding Communities
Decimated by casualties inflicted by the Second Wizarding War, the Ministry has been closely tracking wizarding marriages and births through England’s magical hospitals. Today, in a prepared statement read by the Minister for Magical Health and Welfare, the Ministry admits that live births have plummeted. The Ministry committed to funding a proper study to verify its findings. The statement further indicated that the Ministry will determine what laws, regulations or emergency legislation may be necessary to protect the population.
In a separate occurrence, Quibbler editor Xenopilius Lovegood is conducting his own independent analysis of the effect of diet on fertility in magical communities. Lovegood and his daughter, war hero Luna Lovegood, will establish a laboratory funded by her war reparations from assisting the Golden Trio during…S.P.A.M. Blasts Ministry Officials For Ignoring Plight of Pure-Blood Births
In a clear expansion of its stated goals, S.P.A.M. has issued a manifesto demanding the Ministry focus more attention on the causes of and solutions to the lower birthrates in the wizarding community. In an incendiary statement, the group’s spokesman — Lord Lucius Malfoy — chastised Minister Shacklebolt for being “more concerned with bankrupting honest wizarding families than in proposing solid legislation to prevent our extinction.”
Spate of Marriage Contract Terminations
The Ministry today released its list of marriage contracts terminated in the last six month period. Disclosure became mandatory during Pius Thicknesse’s administration. No surprise among the couples was the dissolution of the Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson contract. Ministry regulations do not require disclosure of which party initiated the termination; however, sources in the Ministry speculate the petition was filed by Plantagenet Parkinson, Ms. Parkinson’s father and co-founder of S.P.A.M. with Draco Malfoy’s father, Lord Lucius Malfoy. Also listed was Theodore Nott, son of Thaddeus Nott, and…
Spate of Marriages at Hogwarts
Headmistress Minerva McGonagal announced today that the Winter vacation break will be extended to accommodate the explosion of marriages. Harry Potter of the Golden Trio will wed Hogwarts’ seventh year Ginevra Weasley. Two Sacred Twenty-Eight pure-blood families will be united during the nuptials for Neville Longbottom and Hannah Abbott…