Serpentină

~Intermission Two~

Also: This is just a 'FILLER' chapter. It does not contain main storyline, just extras. If you do not like these, please move on to the next chapter or wait for an update, ignoring this.

A/N:  Glad you guys could stick with us for this long~ Now I bring you the second intermission of our random side quotes, little rps, and just derp stuff between us and a few of our friends online. Enjoy! I was tempted to remove these intermissions from this story for Adultfanfiction.net but I decided not to that, in essence, it's just gotta be here. It won't hurt. It'll amuse those who bother and for those who don't can simply skip. I just thought that our comedy on the sidelines was hilarious and wanted to share it with everyone following along.

Applehat208 quotes:

“If Cedric is Edward does that mean Tom is Jacob...?”

“No, he's RIDDLED with danger! Hyukhyuk *bricked*”

“Screaming pants probably do exist in HP though.”

“GET TO THE CHOPPA HARRY.”

“‘Why you can tell by the I use mah walk I’m a woman’s man--No time to talk~’ that is young Arthur Weasley 90% sure”

“RON SMASH”

“Riddle powers activate form of HARRY SHIELD”

“That and when you said his normal breakfast stuff I thought even as Tom, Voldemort probably ate like an old man. Oat meal with no sugar, burned toast, coffeetea, and maybe MAYBE bacon when he's feeling adventurous.”

“Does T.Riddle have to choke a biatch?”

“That doesn’t mean it’s healthy for him, and it's just going to get worse when Troll Riddle evolves into Bishiemort. There’s no stopping him then!”

“Harry is like that chick who just keeps taking that one boyfriend back and Ron is the sassy friend who tells him off. ‘I think he really means it this time Ron!’ ‘HE. KILLED. YOUR. FAMILY. HARRY.’ ‘... Yeah but he said he was sorry!’”

Iced Sygar quotes:

“LOL yeah. I call Riddle like 'T.Riddle', like some gangster name lol”

“Oh my goodness mandrakes. I fucking love Mandrakes.  At least, the Lego Harry Potter versions are cute as fuck. This one time when I was playing Lego Harry Potter Years 1-4, it glitched on me when I was putting down the Mandrake.  Instead it put the Mandrake in my pants and my pants were screaming LOL. No joke. That game is glitched, btw, don't play it unless you want your xbox to be glitched forever.”

“I wonder if anyone has ever gone far enough to do NearlyHeadlessNickxTheBloodyBarron.”

“Great, now I pictured a gender-bent Ariel, now Ron, and Harry being the prince. And Tom being Ursula and trying to take Ron's spot and marry Harry sldfjd”

“Yup yup eue. I wonder if wizards can just conjure dildos lol. And all the special 302480348 features too. He's underage anyways, he wouldn't want to be sent to Azkaban over summoning a dick sljfsd. ‘ Harry Potter summoned a wha-.’ LOL. Let's see Dumbledore get him out of that one—‘I believe we've all conjured dildos at some point or another... Don't judge him for such a thing.’ ‘Uh yeah, not us. Just you, Dumbledore.’ ‘Oh. Well then.’”

Other, Misc:

Applehat208 (Usually is our Snape, the actual Harry in the rp, or Ron. And here she’s being Ron): Gawd dammit

Applehat208: Don’t make me find more hurtful pictures of what you did to get to power

Iced Sygar (Tom): gkgdfg

Applehat208: You power whore you

Iced Sygar: Don't make me just kiss that naive sleeping boy in front of you, Weasley. I'll do it.

Iced Sygar: I'll kiss him all overrrrr

Iced Sygar: Probably get him moaning in his sleep right in front of you eue

Applehat208: FFFFFFF!!!! Pedo manwhore! I’m sure you have book herpes!

Iced Sygar: sdflkdfd

Iced Sygar: Oh, such a great comeback, I'm cowering Ronald

Iced Sygar: *Is gonna give book herpes to Harry then lol*

Iced Sygar: *Rubs all up on Harry*

Iced Sygar: MMMM

Applehat208: If you would just stop being such a wuss ass and hiding behind a 12 year old we wouldn’t be dicking around like this AND GTF OFFA HIM!!!

Iced Sygar: Nope, I'm busy here

Iced Sygar: OH HARRY MMMM

Applehat208: not a sandwich!

Iced Sygar: Oh yes he is

Iced Sygar: I'll eat him up like the delicious whore he is for me

Applehat208: No don’t you dare---Gawdammit! NO MORE INNUENDOS

Iced Sygar: *Bites at Harry's neck mmmmm*

Applehat208: Just you wait book, I’m going to tear out all your pages the exact second you’re alone!

Iced Sygar: If you ever find my book. I can project myself and hide my own book. Good luck with that.

Iced Sygar: *Smirk*

Iggy (Always our ‘retarded’ Harry who is made of glue, apparently): What's glue?

Iced Sygar: skfsjf

Iggy: ^u^

Belarus: alskjdf

Iced Sygar: Get to posting now, Iggy, and figure out what glue is later lol

Belarus: Iggy, glue yourself to the post

Applehat208: NOW YOURE CURSED WITH RETARD HARRY

Iced Sygar: lskjfsd

Applehat208: Serves you right!

Iced Sygar: *Will just fuck both Harrys in front of you, Ron*

Iced Sygar: It even has when charms were first invented or discovered

Iced Sygar: ...Back in my day, we didn't have gripping charms

Applehat208: Back in your day it was rare to see a car

Applehat208: Also, now I want Voldemort to bitch about kids on his lawn

Applehat208: All I have to comfort me is sweet chip ahoy white fudge chunky cookies

Iced Sygar: Oooh cookies

Applehat208: I ate too much they made me sick

Iced Sygar: Baw :c

Iced Sygar: *Comforts*

Applehat208: You probably poisoned them ;_;

Iced Sygar: Shhhh shhh

Iced Sygar: Don't be silly

Iced Sygar: Eat more

Iced Sygar: jslkfdjd joking

Applehat208: I was wondering why you went out of your way to bake them *inner Harry sob*

Iced Sygar: Your inner Harry likes it and would lick up every last crumb eUe

Applehat208: Inner Harry is slowly turning into some weird masochist.

Applehat208: It's true

Applehat208 (Harry): Thar

Applehat208: Right before Tom strangles him for bringing a cat in.

Iced Sygar (Tom): Oh my gosh yes Tom would strangle him for that cuteness LOL

Applehat208:, you just can’t cuddle snakes, no matter how hard you try

Iced Sygar: eue

Iced Sygar: Harry will just have to learn to not die when he bites him ouo

Applehat208: That’s going to take practice >U>

Iced Sygar: He'll just have to bite him more until he's ready then eue

Iced Sygar: Come here Harry

Applehat208: *Shoves cat out window hastily* A-Ah... Right now....? *Rape senses tingling*

Iced Sygar: Did I stutter?

Iced Sygar: COME HERE

Iced Sygar: *Snap snap*

Iggy (Retarded Harry): OK TOM

Iced Sygar: B(

Applehat208: Lol wrong harry was summoned

Iggy: YOU CALLED FOR ME??

Iced Sygar: Shit

Iced Sygar: GOD DAMMIT I DON'T WANT YOU

Iggy: I MISSED YOU MY DARLING NO NOSED POOPSIE FACE

Iced Sygar: SHIT

Applehat208: You got retard Harry and not uke Harry

Iced Sygar: WHY DON'T YOU GO GLUE YOURSELF TO A ROAD OR SOMETHING USEFUL

Iced Sygar: Fuckkkkk

Iced Sygar: *Boner lost*

Iggy: WHAT'S GLUE?

Iggy: *GLUES SELF TO TOM'S LOST BONER*

Iced Sygar: ARGH

Iced Sygar: Why must you do this?

Iced Sygar: This is why I kill people.

Iced Sygar: Because of you.

Applehat208: *Uke Harry has escaped out window following cat*

Iggy: DO YOU WANT ME TO SUCK A BROOM HANDLE?

Iced Sygar: YOU MIGHT AS WELL HELP ME GET SOMETHING TONIGHT B(

Iggy: OK

Iggy: YOUR PANTS ARE GLUED SHUT

Iced Sygar: FUCK

Iced Sygar: You know what

Iced Sygar: I'm a fucking wizard

Iced Sygar: *Uses wand to banish glue to some different country*

Iced Sygar: THERE. IT'S NOWHERE NEAR HERE NOW

Iced Sygar: NO GLUE ALLOWED

Iggy: NORWAY?

Iced Sygar: Yeah sure why not

Iggy: OH TOM!

Iced Sygar: what

Iced Sygar: WHAT

Iced Sygar: *Hiss*

Iggy: YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT LIMP TODAY

Iced Sygar: ...

Iced Sygar: *KICKS OUT WINDOW*

Iced Sygar: Fuck you too

Iggy: *IS GLUED TO YOUR LEG HAIR*

Iced Sygar: *Goes to a bathroom >:*

Iced Sygar: ARG

Iced Sygar: I BANISHED THE GLUE THOUGH

Iggy: ATLEAST YOUR LEGS ARE BABY ASS SMOOTH

Iced Sygar: You fucker

Iggy: *CRAWLS BACK IN THROUGH THE WINDOW*

Iggy: HEY TOM?

Iggy: YOU SHOULD REALLY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE THROWING PEOPLE I FELL OUT A WINDOW

Iced Sygar: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT THERE

Iced Sygar: GO ON

Iced Sygar: MAKE A LIVING

Iced Sygar: DO YOUR CORNER

Iggy: BUT I WANT TO STAY IN HERE

Iggy: THERE'S A CORNER RIGHT HERE

Iced Sygar: But it's a wonder you make money. I suppose you glue yourself to the money?

Iggy: *STANDS IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM*

Iced Sygar: LEAVE MY CORNER ALONE

Iced Sygar: ...

Iced Sygar: You know what

Iggy: *WORKS IT ON THAT CORNER*

Iggy: *ASS WIGGLIN AND SHIT*

Iced Sygar: think I-...What

Iced Sygar: WHAT IS GOING ON

Iced Sygar: IS THAT

Iced Sygar: AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE THIS WEIRD BONER

Iggy: GIRL LOOK AT THAT BODY

Iggy: AHHH~

Iced Sygar: ARGH

Iggy: GIRL LOOK AT THAT BODY~

Iced Sygar: Ok nvm I don't need a bathroom I just came

Iced Sygar: I DON'T KNOW WH

Iced Sygar: WH

Iced Sygar: lkjfds

Iced Sygar: WHY

Iggy: I'M SEXAY AND I KNOW IT

Iced Sygar: Ugh it's everywhereee

Iced Sygar: SO UNCLEAN

Iggy: *KNOCKS OVER A BUCKET OF DIRT*

Iced Sygar: IS THERE A BUCKET OF DIRT IN /MY/ HOME

Iggy: *DANCES LIKE A MANIAC ON STERIODS AND VIAGRA ALL WITH A LITTLE BIT OF ALCOHOL AT A PEDOPHILE CONVENTION*

Iced Sygar: IS THIS A METAPHOR FOR MUDBLOOD OR SOMETHING

Iced Sygar: wait what

Iced Sygar: WAHT

Iced Sygar: WHAT

Iced Sygar: I CAN'T EVEN SPELL RIGHT

Iced Sygar: FUCK

Iced Sygar: WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Iced Sygar: I'M SO CONFUSED

Iggy: WELL I'M DANCING LIKE A MANIAC ON STERIODS AND VIAGRA ALL WITH A LITTLE BIT OF ALCOHOL AT A PEDOPHILE CONVENTION

Iced Sygar: UGH

Iced Sygar: *Just…*

Iced Sygar: *Slams head into wall*

Iced Sygar: *Get it over with*

Iggy: I JUST CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE

Iced Sygar: *Avadra Kadavra's self.*

Iced Sygar: SHIT IT WON'T WORK

Iced Sygar: MY NOSE

Iced Sygar: SHIT

Iggy: ...

Iggy: *LAUGHS SO FUCKING HARD*

Iggy: YOUR NOSE IS GONE.

Iggy: HEE HEE

Applehat208: *Somewhere the very rape-and-tard-free uke Harry is having the first molestation free day in a long time in the forest and has adorable cute adventures that would give anyone diabetes*

Iced Sygar: *Has diabetes now too*

Applehat208: *It’s because of all the shota ukes, it's not good for someone your age*

Iced Sygar: Ughhh

Iced Sygar: Yeah all of this stuff is giving me cancer

Applehat208: *If you can survive splitting your soul 7 times, I don’t think you have to worry about cancer :I*

Iced Sygar: Nah, now I have to suffer with cancer and be unable to die because my soul is in fragments everywhere

Iggy: *IS STILL WORKING IT IN THE CORNER*

Applehat208: *You’re smart figure out a cure for cancer and then rule over people with it.*

Iggy: UNFFFF *VIOLENT HIP THRUSTING*

Iced Sygar: *Gouges out eyes*

Iced Sygar: *With own wand*

Iced Sygar: *Might as well get rid of the eyes if I don't have a nose*

Iggy: *GRINDS THAT THRUSTING AGAINST YOU THEN*

Iced Sygar: UGH WHERE DO I STAB IN MY SPINE TO WHERE MY NERVES DO NOT FEEL ANYTHING?

Iced Sygar: PREFERABLY MAKE IT QUICK

Iggy: *IN THE PORTION THAT YOU CAN REACH THROUGH YOUR EAR*

Applehat208: *Uke Harry is cutely napping on a sunny country side hill, too bad Tom was such a bastard to him and let him escape. Now all he has is retard Harry and a do not want hard on.*

Iced Sygar: BUT DON'T YOU MISS ME YOU SEXY HARRY

Iced Sygar: How much I made you beg and the feel of my body B)

Iced Sygar: You want me oh yes you do

Iced Sygar: Want me just taking advantage of you on the bed?

Iggy: I WANT YOU TOM

Iced Sygar: FUCK

Iced Sygar: BONER RUINED

Iggy: I CAN FIX IT

Iggy: WITH GLUE

Iced Sygar: NO PLEASE DON'T

Iced Sygar: You know what

Iced Sygar: I'LL FIX YOU

Iggy: REALLY?

Iced Sygar: HOLD STILL WHILE I GET THE SUPER GLUE

Iggy: OK!

Iced Sygar: *Goes to steal some of that shit from a huge company that carries the shit in huge buckets.*

Iced Sygar: *Comes back. Throws it all over Harry.*

Iced Sygar: *Uses broom to push him into wall*

Iced Sygar: *QUICKLY BEFORE HE TRIES ANYTHING ELSE*

Iced Sygar: *That broom is dead now*

Iggy: *Is glued to the wall*

Iggy: ...

Iced Sygar: I fucking hate brooms

Iggy: HEY TOM

Iced Sygar: (Lol what if Tom was beating up a broom and a muggle was like 'wtf')

Applehat208: (That muggle would be dead, that’s what lol)

Iced Sygar: (Yeah. No witnesses. And no one dares laugh or mock him at destroying a broom)

Iggy: I CAN MAKE POPCORN

Iced Sygar: NO JUST STAY THERE

Iced Sygar: Andstarveyoufucker

Iggy: TOM

Iggy: HOLD ME?

Iced Sygar: I'd rather take the other Harry and cover him in butter instead of popcorn and~

Iced Sygar: NO

Iggy: OH TOM OH YES TOM I WANT SOME OF THAT

Iced Sygar: *Cries*

Iced Sygar: Why me

Iced Sygar: Why

Iced Sygar: Why can't I have the sexy Harry I want to just violate

Iggy: CAUSE YOU KILLED MY MAMA BUTTS

Iced Sygar: ...

Iced Sygar: What could I have possibly done to be punished so?

Iced Sygar: What god did I anger?

Iced Sygar: Gods?

Iced Sygar: All of them?

Iggy: MY MAMA BUTTS

Iced Sygar: Oh

Iggy: YOU KNOW BUTTS THE UNICORN

Applehat208: *Uke Harry wakes up yawning and rubbing his eyes generally just being a mega uke.* "Wah~ The sun feels so nice today... It's been so long since I’ve been outside... I wonder if I can just take a bath in the lake...?"

Iced Sygar: Ughhhh

Iggy: *THE LAKE IS REPLACED WITH GLUE*

Iggy: *NOW HE'LL NEVER GET YOU BACK*

Applehat208: (ljhsakjfkj retard harry is a jealous ho)

Belarus: alksdjf I found Black Silk Boxers in the dumpster lol ((We were playing Gaia, btw, cause we’re totally cool like that /not))

Applehat208 (Snape): ...Only slightly used

Belarus: Lol they look clean, but I might want to put them in the wash just to make sure

Belarus: I bet Riddle would want them ^^

Iced Sygar: Do you have to ask?

Iced Sygar: Riddle I stared at those fuckers in the store

Applehat208: I thought they had to be woven from the tears of children too

Iced Sygar: Even better

Belarus: I can give them to you if you want them lol

Iggy (Retard Harry): HEY TOM I SEE YOU FOUND MY BOXERS!!

Belarus: I wouldn't mind it

Belarus: lakjdslf

Iced Sygar: SHIT

Iced Sygar: BURN IT WITH FIRE

Belarus: No I found them

Iggy: ... OH

Iggy: THAT'S NOT AS SPECIAL

Iggy: YOU SHOULD GIVE THEM TO TOM

Iced Sygar: God, I can hear the high-pitched voice

Applehat208: Quiet other Harry I answered first

Iggy: I ALWAYS WANTED TOM TO HAVE A PIECE OF ME. I HAVE A PIECE OF HIM...

Iggy: RIIIIGHT HERE

Iced Sygar: Fuckkkk

Iggy: *POINTS TO HEART* ^^

Iggy: OH AND SNAPE??

Applehat208: :I

Iggy: I SPILT THAT GLUE POTION ON YOUR CAT

Applehat208: …Potter, I don’t own a cat

Iggy: ...

Iggy: THEN WHAT WAS THAT THING MEOWING?

Iggy: WAS IT A MYSTERIOUS ANIMAL?

Applehat208: It was probably another abortion caused by your presence

Iced Sygar: Oh dear god Professor McGonagall

Iggy: YOU SHOULD REALLY CALL ANIMAL CONTROL FOR YOUR MYSTERIOUS ANIMAL PROBLEM

Iced Sygar: The chosen one

Applehat208: THERE CAN ONLY BE OOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEEE

Iggy: Dragonball?

Iggy: MUSTARD JAR'

Iggy: Oh shit Harry Potter in Skyrim

Applehat208: *Snape gets into highlander clothes*

Iced Sygar: Wizard's Wand, Price: 7,500g… Harry Potter's Wand, Price: 900g

Iced Sygar: Why

Iced Sygar: Is Harry a slut so his wand is cheaper or something?

Iced Sygar: Or did he lick it?

Applehat208: If he is it's your fault

Iced Sygar: lskfds

Iggy: HEY SNAPE

Iggy: I’M RIGHT NEXT TO YOU

Iggy: TOUCHING YOU

Applehat208: ... You don’t have glue do you?

Iggy: NOPE

Applehat208: That always means yes

Iggy: I HAVE DUCK TAPE

Applehat208: Oh god my leg hair

Iggy: DO THEY QUIVER AND SCREAM?

Applehat208: That’s what she said

Iced Sygar: Ahhh Riddle keeps messing me up lol

Iced Sygar: "MAKE THE NOSE MORE PRONOUNCED'

Iced Sygar: 'Fuuu'

Applehat208: He doesn’t have a complex at all

Applehat208: I don’t know what you’re talking about

Iced Sygar: ldkjfd

Iced Sygar: I erased the nose to redraw it and he's pissy again

Applehat208: He’s always like that

Applehat208: Let me see if I can fix it back....

Applehat208: That should do it

Applehat208: There no more glue

Iced Sygar: There will always be glue

Iced Sygar: Always

Iced Sygar: That horrifying glue

Applehat208: No matter how much you scrub Tom you'll never be clean--NEVAR BE CLEAN

Iggy: DID SOMEONE SAY GLUE?

Iggy: Iced Sygar: It's the cloud to the sky. The bee to the flower. The dog to a blind man. The glue to Harry.

Iced Sygar: Sob I'm so filthy

Iggy: TOUCHES ALL OVER THE NORMAL HARRY

Iced Sygar: skdjfl

Applehat208: Am I not abused enough at it is?!

Iced Sygar: MY DOLL

Iced Sygar: IT'S DIRITIED

Iggy: HEY HARRY?

Iggy: MY HANDS ARE GLUED TO YOUR FACE.

Iggy: CAN YOU STILL BREATHE?

Applehat208: I couldn’t tell

Iggy: ^U^

Applehat208: I’ve been suffocated before so it's okay even if I am ;_;

Iggy: OOH WHAT'S THAT?

Iggy: RUNS OFF DRAGGING THE OTHER HARRY

Applehat208: I can’t watch the Prince of Egypt anymore---Did you know the pharaoh and Voldemort are the same guy? Voldemort singing, there now I’ve ruined your childhood.

Iced Sygar: Oh my gosh slkfjsdf. I haven't seen that movie in so long that I don't even remember so as long as I stay away or forget that the pharaoh and Voldemort are the same person then I'd probably be ok lol

Applehat208: "I will never let your people gooooooo"

Applehat208: :/

Applehat208: I have the music

Iced Sygar: Oh please god no sdlkfjds

Applehat208: C'mon it fits he means muggle borns!

Applehat208: Harry Potter: THE MUSICAL

Applehat208: I can see it now