A Perfect Situation

Cathy, alone in Neville’s front room, stared at the letter in her hands. His writing was sloppy, but she recognized it. It hadn’t changed since Hogwarts, in fact it looked even sloppier. She was afraid. She had been denying his existence since she left school, thinking that she could forget it all, but she couldn’t. Neville was right, it was eating her inside. With shaking hands she opened the letter.



‘Cathy, I have no idea if you will ever receive this, but I have to try. Should you burn this after you read this, I would not hold it against you, in fact I would applaud. I know this is many years too late, but I have always regretted what we did to you. I cannot speak for someone else, and I have no idea what happened to Kevin, but I am telling you, on my own, that I am very sorry. I have no excuses for you and any I have would not be enough. I can only say that I was indeed a follower and listened to Kevin way too much. I believed everything he said and let him turn me into a monster. But you were the one who suffered. I wish I could fix things, but I don’t know how. I am gone now, or you wouldn’t be reading this. I promised myself that if I had the chance to say this to your face, then I would, if you would have let me. I realized a few years ago that it may never happen, so I decided to write this, and hide it. I am not asking for forgiveness, I know I do not deserve it, but I am saying to you that I am sorry, so very sorry for what I have done. What you will do with my words if up to you, I am in no place to demand anything. Justin”



Cathy didn’t realize she had begun crying until a drop landed on the letter. She let it fall to her lap then she gave in and let the tears fall. They turned to loud wails and when she felt arms around her shoulders, she let herself for the first time in many years, be comforted by someone else.



Neville had heard her crying and reentered the room to find her with her hands outward, as if she had been holding the letter, and her face covered in tears. She turned toward him and leaned into neck, letting out loud and heart wrenching sobs. Her body shook and twitched as years of tension oozed out of her.



Neville tightened his grip and helped her stand, easing her on the couch beside him. She continued to wail and cry, for nearly a half hour. He didn’t do anything but hold her. Nobody had paid enough attention to her to see who she really was and Neville did, he found out what she was running away from, and forced her to face it.



She didn’t know how much time had passed, but eventually she let her body go and was just resting against his shoulder, his arm was still around her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I don’t normally let things get to me.” She hadn’t lifted her head.



“It’s about time you did,” Neville told her, giving her shoulder a squeeze, “holding anything in isn’t healthy.”



She let out a chuckle and finally lifted her head, but she didn’t brush off his arm and she didn’t move away. “Is that the healer talking?”



“Oh yes.” He smiled down at her, but she was toying with her sleeve. “I finally figured out there was something that needed to be healed, and I found out what it was.”



“Why?” She raised her eyes, bloodshot and still wet. “Why did you care at all?”



“I know it seemed as if I didn’t, and I know the threats I made gave me an ugly image. I apologize for my language, I try not to speak like that, particularly to women,” she gave him a small smile, “but I finally figured out that if you were making me that angry, then there had to be a reason.”



“Did there?” She looked down at her hands again, playing with her nails. She looked vulnerable, and afraid.



“Yes. It was a feeling I had.” He continued holding her, and for some reason he knew she liked it. “Do you want to talk about it?”



“You mean what happened?” He nodded. “I haven’t spoken about it to anyone. Not even the healers.”



“I know, but they didn’t look hard enough. I suppose you didn’t attack their friends?” She looked away. “I wasn’t having a go at you, it was just a observation. It Hermione had been their friend, maybe they would have looked harder.”



“I suppose so.” She looked back. “She never was your lover was she?”



“Never. Just a very good friend whom I love.” He gave her another squeeze. “Tell me.”



Cathy let herself fall back to her youth, to a time when she trusted two men above everyone else. When she lost who she was and went into her adulthood, changed.



**She ran along the corridor that led to grounds, feeling the setting sun on her face. Kevin and Justin were waiting for her on their boulder. “Well,” Kevin called, “last class of the day.”



“So guys what, are we going to do this weekend?” She asked, planting herself on the huge rock.



“Hogsmeade weekend, where should we go?” Justin was excited about those weekends. Getting out of the castle was something to look forward to.



“I wanted to meet up with Sarah again.” Kevin wagged his eyebrows.



“Did you really shag her?” Justin asked, leaning forward.



“Yes, I did, and she loved it.” He bragged. “Hey, you never told us about your first time, Cath.” He gave her foot a little kick.



“What does it matter?” She asked.



“Come on. We told you about ours.” Justin had joined in with what Kevin was doing.



“There wasn’t anything to much to talk about. We got drunk and everyone started messing around. It was pretty rough and hardly what I wanted my first time to be. I would have liked it to be with someone I like and trusted but what can I do now.” She admitted.



“Do you regret it?” Kevin asked.



“A little. I don’t know, maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t been drinking, but I can’t do anything about it now.” She brushed a leaf off her skirt, ignoring the looks she got from her friends.



Later that night she was reading in the common room when Kevin and Justin approached her, asking her to come with them to the room of requirement. As they walked along the halls, she asked what was going on. “Kevin said he had a surprise for you.” Justin seemed excited and took her hand as they hurried along.



She kept her smile up, thinking how wonderful her friends were. They entered the room and her smile faded. It was a bedroom with a huge bed, nothing more. She turned but Kevin had already closed the door, sealing them in.



“What’s going on?” She asked.



“We are going to make it all better for you Cath.” Kevin said as he approached her, Justin following him. “Your first time was awful, but we are going to make it right.”



“I don’t want to.” She moved to the door, but they both reached out and held her.



“Trust us, Cath, it will be perfect this time.” She fought and struggled against them both but it was pointless. They hauled her to the bed, Kevin calling out directions to Justin who obeyed blindly.



They took turns raping her vaginally, and then they took her at the same time. She had never felt more pain then she felt at that moment. Her pussy and her ass felt as if she had been ripped apart, her whole body burned, she fought until she had no more energy.



Eventually she could do nothing but lay limp and be tossed around until they were done. Her body was black and blue, from being restrained and held down in various ways. Justin asked at one point why she seemed to be in pain, and Kevin said that when it feels so good, girls will make faces like that. He seemed to take Kevin’s word as law and dismissed anything she said.



She stayed in the Room of Requirement after they left for about an hour before she was able to move. She let tears fall and wondered how she would get to St. Mungo’s. A floo appeared in the room and hoping it was responding to her needs, she tried it and hurled herself inside just as she fainted, rolling into the hospital moments later.



She didn’t see the staff grab her immediately and begin her exam. She woke a short time later, and was asked what felt like a million questions. She didn’t know how many she actually answered and how many healers she saw, but she stayed quiet as much as possible, refusing to talk to anyone. Eventually they sent her back to Hogwarts.**



“I kept to myself after that, but I knew the professors were keeping an eye on me, in all my classes.” Neville hadn’t said a word through her story, letting her get it all out. “The other students thought I was going through some kind of crisis, and let me have my space. Kevin and Justin had all but stopped acknowledging I even existed. I guess that was for the best, because I wouldn’t have know what to say to either of them.”



“How long has it been since you were able to think about it?” He asked.



“Way too long.” She said. “I never told anyone.”



‘You can settle things now you know.” He said, watching the confusion cover her face.



“You have the right to face Kevin. He’s in Azkaban. You can talk to him if you want. You have Justin’s letter even if you can’t confront him, but Kevin is still fair game.” He offered.



“I can’t do that.” She said, standing and pacing his carpet. “I can’t look at him, I can’t….what would I say….how can I…….”



“You have a lot to say to him.” Neville stood and addressed her. “You can let him know that he didn’t destroy you. You are a success, you have a great career, you have trust issues granted, but those can be worked through. You haven’t refused sex n your life, and in fact you have a healthy sex life. He didn’t win. And you also have Justin’s letter.”



“What does that prove?” She asked, facing the younger healer.



“It proves that he didn’t succeed in destroying Justin either. He reached out to you, maybe too late, but he apologized. He knew what he did was wrong, even if Kevin never does, you know what Justin was thinking. He didn’t control either of you, no matter how hard he tried.”



His words made sense, and she thought hard on them, wondering if she should see Kevin. It had been way too long and she didn’t think she had anything left to settle, but he thought otherwise. “Why is this important to you?” She asked.



“Because I’m a healer, and you need to be healed.” He said, reaching out and taking her hand in his. “You need to deal with this, or for the rest of your life you will have problems much bigger then what you had with Severus. Your life is yours and its about time you took it back.”