Fantasy House

After all the dishes were done and put away, Hermione walked out into the living room to see Severus sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on the TV.



"What are you doing?" she asked as she went to sit next to him.



He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Trying to find something decent to watch. I haven\'t had a television since I was fourteen," he told her.



She nodded and glanced at the TV right as he was flipping from one commercial to another. He left it on for a moment when the "program" returned.



Hermione\'s eyes widened. "Eight Ways to Please Your Partner..." she whispered, shocked.



Severus turned the television off and threw the remote onto the coffee table. "All the shows are like that," he growled. "All pornographic or giving some form of sexual education. I looked through the movie rack and, it\'s the same."



Her eyes widened even more. "No..." she gasped as she shot up and ran through the house.



She brushed by Remus who wore a curious expression on his face. "What\'s wrong with her?" he asked Severus.



"I think she\'s finally realizing how much Zabini has, quite literally, screwed us all," the dark haired man replied. He glanced at the object in Remus\' hand. "What\'s that?"



The werewolf held up the box. "Apparently, Zabini is taking some precautions. This is just one box I found."



Severus held out his hand and Remus gave him the box. The Slytherin wrinkled his nose in disgust. "I thought Hermione couldn\'t get pregnant," he commented, handing the box back to Remus.



"According to Andromeda, she can\'t," the werewolf assured. "But, I don\'t think these are meant for Hermione. I think they were meant to protect us..."



"Protect us from what?" the other man asked. "Last I checked, we were all healthy. Unless you or Black have some disease that I am unaware of?"



Remus shook his head. "No. We are healthy. However, the spread of bacteria..."



"If we are all healthy, it won\'t matter how many times we come," Severus interrupted, a sour look on his face. "Besides, I\'m not sticking one of those things in my mouth. And, let\'s face it, bacteria and germs can travel that way as well."



"True," Remus agreed, thoughtfully. He threw the box onto the recliner before taking a seat next to Severus on the couch. "I really don\'t understand all of this. Hermione said..."



He was interrupted again, but this time by a loud, blood curling scream. Both men stood up and looked in the direction of the hallway. Sirius burst through from the kitchen, looking alarmed. "What.."



Lucius and Draco ran into the house. "What happened?" Lucius asked, looking around at the three men.



"Hermione?" Remus called.



They heard a door slam and they all turned to the hallway. Hermione had never looked more angry as she stormed into the room. She glanced up at the ceiling and began yelling.



"Blaise Zabini! You better show your worthless hide now! How dare you! You prat! I swear I will Avada you into next week!"



"Hermione," Sirius said, cautiously, approaching the girl.



"I can\'t believe you!" she continued, ignoring Sirius. "Everything! Literally everything! Is there nothing sacred? And what are we to do? Just eat, sleep, and have sex all the time? You stupid git! You can\'t expect us to just... Argh!"



She grabbed the remote from the coffee table and threw it at the television. Then, she started combing the walls and ceiling with her eyes. "Where are you?" she asked, looking around. "Where are you hiding?"



Lucius grabbed the girl by her shoulders. "Miss Granger," he said, sternly.



Her eyes fell onto his. As they stared at one another, her eyes began to water. He watched in horror as her face changed to one of anger to one of sorrow. And then, she began to cry. He looked up helplessly at Severus.



The black haired man took a step back as Hermione\'s forehead touched Lucius\' chest. Severus held his hands up as though to say, "You\'re on your own." Lucius frowned at the younger man.



The blond\'s attention turned to the werewolf as he saw him approach. Remus placed a hand on Hermione\'s back. "Hermione," he whispered, soothingly.



She turned away from Lucius and into Remus\' embrace. The werewolf and girl stood there quietly as she sobbed into his chest. He rubbed her back and made soft cooing noises as he tried to calm her down. Lucius had stepped away from them the moment she had released him.



"It\'s okay," Remus whispered in Hermione\'s ear.



"No," she said with a sob. "No, it\'s not."



She looked up at him, her eyes reddened with tears. "Remus. It\'s everywhere. Literally, everywhere. The library isn\'t a library at all. The walls and bookshelves are filled with novels and books on sex. We cannot watch the television because there are nothing but sex shows on. Can\'t watch a movie because it\'s all porn. He\'s... he\'s..."



She broke into another fit of tears and hid her head against his chest again. Remus glanced up at Sirius with a meaningful look. The animagus nodded and disappeared back into the kitchen. He returned shortly with a glass of milk and, walking up to the hugging couple, pressed it into Hermione\'s hand.



"Drink this, and let\'s get you to bed," the animagus said, softly.



Hermione nodded as she allowed the two men to lead her into the bed room. As they were walking down the hallway, she could hear Draco ask his father loudly, "What are condoms?"



(II)(II)



The sleeping arrangements were amusing enough. Both Sirius and Lucius took the ends of the bed. Remus and Severus slept in the middle. Hermione was sandwiched between Sirius and Remus with Draco sleeping between his father and godfather.



Thankfully, no one snored, though Lucius had woken up a few times when Draco had poked him with an erection. The older man would sigh and gently rearrange Draco. At one point, however, Lucius actually woke Draco up when the boy started rubbing against him.



"Son," he whispered in the darkness.



Draco moaned softly and pressed more firmly against his father. "So, good," he breathed.



Lucius\' eyes widened. Placing a hand on Draco\'s shoulder, he shook the boy. "Draco, wake up," he whispered.



Draco\'s eyes fluttered for a moment before they opened and he peered at his father. He stopped rubbing against the man as his face became horror-struck. He moved to sit up, but Lucius held him down.



"It\'s okay," he told his son. "I just wanted to make you aware. Get some sleep."



Draco stared at his father for a long moment. "I didn\'t mean..."



"I know, Son," Lucius responded. "Just get some sleep."



Draco nodded and lay back upon his pillow. He watched as his father fell back asleep, but found that he could not fall back to sleep himself.



The problem was, he now had an erection and needed to relieve it. He glanced from his father to his godfather. Severus had his back to the two Malfoys, while Lucius slept on his back. If he could get to the bathroom, his problem could be solved. But, it would require waking his father up again.



Or, maybe not. His father wasn\'t a huge man by any means. Draco was certain he could crawl over the man with no problem. Though, how to do it without touching him...? That was the largest obstacle.



Draco sat up and studied his father\'s face for a moment. In the moonlight, he could see the contours of Lucius\' face. For the most part, the skin was smooth, though Draco did catch the hint of wrinkles. The young man frowned. To him, his father was still far too young to sport wrinkles.



His eyes wandered down the man\'s torso and towards his hips. To Draco\'s relief, or was it dismay?, the bottom part of Lucius was shrouded by darkness. Not that it mattered. Draco knew what lurked there. He knew what was going to happen between them and he wasn\'t looking forward to it. At least, that\'s what he kept telling himself. But, if his dream was any indications of his thoughts...



He shook his head and began the task of climbing over Lucius. In hindsight, Draco would have understood it to be a stupid plan. But, as it was, his only thought was to get to the bathroom to find some relief. He did not take his father for a light sleeper. Nor did he believe his father would go straight into attack mode at the slightest touch.



So, it was in complete surprise that both Malfoys ended on the ground, with Draco laying on his back, his father situated between his legs. The sound of bodies hitting the ground, the shout from Lucius, and the moan of pain from Draco managed to wake the others up. Sirius ran to the light and flipped it on.



"What the bloody hell happened?" the animagus asked, looking at the father and son in shock.



Lucius scrambled off his son. "What were you doing?" he demanded, glaring at Draco.



Draco sat up and placed a hand upon his head. "Trying to go to the bathroom," he moaned under the throbbing of his skull.



Hermione peered from over the side of the bed and gave him an odd look. "Why didn\'t you just scoot to the bottom of the bed? We have no footboard," she informed him.



He glanced up at her and scowled. "I didn\'t think of it," he said, honestly, after a moment.



Remus glanced at the clock. He sighed. "I\'ll go start making some coffee," he announced as he climbed out of the bed.



"If you wanted to straddle your father, I\'m sure all you had to do was ask," Sirius said, unable to contain his laughter any more.



"Sirius," Hermione reprimanded while both Malfoys sneered at him.



The animagus laughed some more and shook his head. "I couldn\'t help it," he stated. Then, he pointed at Draco. "You might want to take care of that before you eat breakfast. I\'ve no idea what Remus will find in there to fix."



Sirius then left the three Slytherins and Hermione alone in the bedroom. Severus laid back down upon the bed. "Just so you know, I was having a peaceful sleep. Perhaps Remus and I will trade places tonight. I\'ve never slept next to someone who squirmed as much as you, Draco."



"The better idea would be for Draco and me to switch," Hermione suggested, drawing Lucius\' attention.



"Really? You fancy sleeping between Severus and I?" he asked, looking interested.



She shrugged. "It\'d be for the best. I\'m not sure how Sirius will take to sleeping so close to Severus. Besides, Sirius sleeps closer to the door and is easier to climb over if Draco has to go to the bathroom," she said.



"Personal experience?" Draco teased, with little humor.



She smiled. "Yes, in fact. Though, I must warn you, Draco, Sirius likes to fondle in his sleep. Which is why I don\'t think it\'d be a good idea for Severus to be so close to him quite yet. Sirius wasn\'t just touching me."



With that, she climbed out of the bed and left the three Slytherins to their thoughts.

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Author\'s Note: So? What do all of you think? Did I do well? Sorry for the long delay.