The worst days of our lives

Chapter 8

The first few days of school went by uneventfully. Nothing big happened, a couple of minor arguments aside. None of them centering around her. Pansy started to feel at ease, which made her uneasy. 'Never drop your guard' was a motto that her parents taught her early on and old habits die hard. But all in all it could have been worse.

As she sat in Transfiguartion class she slowly dozed off, the old bat couldn't keep her interest for long. Her thoughts consisted of her ex-boyfriend. One Sir Draco Malfoy. She couldn't precisely remember where it had gone wrong between them. It probably had something to do with the war. He had been a very outgoing person before that mess started, always ranting and raving and laughing. It seemed the war, and Azkaban, dimished his personality.

Blaise, on the other hand, seemed exactly the same. Still a flirt, still making situations bearable with humor. She loved Blaise, as a dear friend. Nothing more. Just thinking about seriously dating him made her cringe. He probably picked up a few S.T.D's here and there. He just couldn't commit himself to anyone.

Draco, on the other hand, had always been very sweet to her. When the war began he started to retreat into his shell and he let no one in. Not even her. After the war was even more confusing. Officially no one broke up with the other. They snogged sometimes, but that was all that was left. He had shut her out, especially right before he went to Azkaban. If she could call it a relationship anyway, they were just too young. Even though she felt she had matured beyond his level. Draco had seemed like a boy when they had started dating. So young and naive. Interested in girls because everyone else was. Unfortunately the war changed that.

'Miss Parkinson!' a voice rang out from the front of the classroom.

Pansy sat up straight, startled by the angry voice.

'Sorry, professor,' she mumbled. McGonagall gave her a stern glare, then asked Granger to answer the question. Pansy didn’t even hear it.

Pansy stared at the blackboard. A few quotations were written down on it in a perfect, loopy handwriting. So perfect, those Gryffindors. It made her want to vomit.

From accros the room, she met the eyes of Anthony Goldstein. He narrowed his eyes, gave her a glare, then resumed paying attention to the lesson.

'Bastard', thought Pansy. She sighed dejectedly. She knew she shouldn't let things like that wear her down, it was just a look. Maybe it had nothing to do with the war, maybe Goldstein just personally despised her. That was a comforting thought.

Just five more minutes till the bell would ring and she'd be off for today. Pansy hoped the new edition of Witch Weekly had arrived by now.

*******
'Why are you staring at Potter?' Blaise asked Draco, right before he shoved a fork in his mouth.

'I am not staring at Potter.'

'You're still doing it. And you've got this compulsive frown on your face.'

Draco sighed. Blaise knew he irritated Draco on a regular basis, but it never got old. He was a lot of fun to bait.

'I do not have a compulsive frown on my face.'

'Yes you do,' Blaise retorted childishly, 'See! There it is again, you're narrowing your eyes. Did he do something to you? Or tried to?'

Draco turned his gaze to his friend and glared as hard as he could.

'No. Stop being so bloody nosy.'

Blaise stopped talking for a moment to eat more of his jacket potatoes. They were good and crispy on the outside, soft and mushy on the inside. Just as Blaise liked it.

He couldn't resist. 'I noticed it yesterday too. And I think it's Potter, but I’m not sure though. The Gryffindors in general then? You have a crush on the little Weaslette?'

'No way,' said Pansy, interfering with their very interesting conversation, 'You wouldn't like that nasty bitch right?'

Draco's eyebrows shot into his hair. 'No way. No freaking way. Don't be ridiculous. Stupid redhead.'

'Her brother then?' Pansy asked sweetly, as Draco gave her one of his evil-don't-mess-with-me-glares.

Blaise smirked knowingly. Something was up, he could smell it.

'Stop smirking like that.'

*****
Draco hated getting caught. Yeah, so he had been staring at the Golden Trio. But certainly not for the reasons that were just discussed. The Weasleys were nothing more than a waste of space and air.

Maybe he should just explain his reasoning, before they would think he was interested in Potter. The thought made him shudder. Disgusting.

He didn't know if he wanted to though. He wanted to find out what their secret was, what were Granger and Potter hiding? What was so important that the Weasels couldn't know? Draco could take a guess, but until he was sure, he wouldn't tell a soul about it. It could be valuable knowledge.

Potter didn't seem to pay a lot of physical attention to Granger. He paid more attention to his girlcoat, who hung over him all the time. From the look on his face, Potter did not mind at all. Granger was talking to Longbottom with a big smile on her face. Nothing indicated that something was up, but he knew better.

'Let's just say I'm working on a project you'll be hearing about in the future.'

With a big smirk on his face, he continued eating, staring at the Gryffindors.

*****
Hermione was sitting at the lake, a book open in her lap. While her gaze should have been on the book, she was staring into space instead. The sun was on the verge of disappearing behind the horizon. Sweat covered her forehead. The newspapers had called it a the warmest summer in quite a while and it felt exactly like that to Hermione.

She had to be back in the common room within the hour. If a teacher caught her out here, she’d be in trouble. Not that it really mattered, they didn’t have anything to take away from her, no status, no house points. Hermione wanted to smack herself. There she went again. She vouched to herself she would stop those thoughts, she had realized she’d been overreacting. Harry’s problem wasn’t hers. She was proud of Ginny for getting the Head Girl status, she would make a good Head Girl.

At least, that was what Hermione tried to tell herself.

With a huff, Hermione unstuck her t-shirt from her back, her arms clumsily behind her head. The weather was hot, way too hot. It suffocated her. She grabbed the book from her lap, got up and moved closer to the edge of the water. She took off her sneakers and threw them aside. As her feet touched the cold water she let out a content sigh. Finally at peace with herself, she allowed herself to relax. She would do fine this year.

*****
Draco needed some time away from his friends. While he really appreciated friends like Blaise and Pansy, sometimes he felt the need to get away from them. And get out of the castle. With a sneer he rememberd the boundaries the aurors had set for him. He couldn’t go further than a certain point or the aurors would be alerted and they would regard it as an escaping attempt. Like he had somewhere to escape to.

With his sketchbook underneath his arm he walked towards the lake. He had just about thirthy minutes to sit outside before curfew went into effect.

When he approached the lake, he saw a lone figure sitting on the shore. Whoever it may be, Draco wanted nothing to do with him or her. He carefully walked further, hoping to find a secluded spot somewhere. He finally found it behind a row of bushes.

It wasn’t a very private spot, but as long as he didn’t make too much noise, no one would bother him.

He opened his sketchbook with a dissappointed sigh. His drawing hadn’t progressed much, he had been too busy to properly focus on drawing. The feet had come along nicely, but since he didn’t have a model it was hard to draw the details. He started drawing, but everytime he drew more lines, he erased them again.

Maybe whoever was sitting a few meters away from him could give him some inspiration.Very silently, he pushed some branches aside to observe the person. It was Granger. Great, like that would help.

She didn’t notice him at all. It seemed like she was out of this world, just staring into nothingness. Oh well, even muggleborns could have nice feet. He gazed down at her feet, which were dangling just above the water surface. He had to admit she had nice feet. Slender, small feet.

Draco made a descision right there and then. He looked once more, then put his pencil on the paper and started drawing. A small shade here, a dent there, the ancle bone, the heel: he drew it all. It was looking mighty fine.

With a humorless smile he realized Granger was helping him drawing his perfect woman. What was the world coming too?

The reason he liked drawing so much wasn’t because he was the artistic type. Not at all. He intensely disliked artistic people. Take that Lovegood girl for example. She was royally fucked up in the head, always wearing weird clothing, talking in riddles. Those people aggravated him.

The reason he drew was one he had only admitted to himself. Drawing kept the memories at bay. He didn’t want to think. He spent a year with no one but himself. He had done enough thinking to last a lifetime. And still, when he was in bed, he couldn’t help but think. Think about that muggle man, thoughts about his parents and especially his father, thoughts about his life. Thoughts about everything. He had grown tired of it quickly.

For Merlin’s sake, he even started reading before he went to bed. It took his mind off things, got him sleepy and when he put the book away he had just enough time to think about how he survived another day before he fell asleep. It worked. The rest of the time he surrounded himself with his friends and spent it by drawing. It did the trick, because slowly but surely he was beginning to feel better.

And with Granger’s feet, his drawing began to look better. He had drawn the outline of the body, just a vague sketch. It was time for real curves and a real person.

If he could ever find a girl like this, he would be happy.

*****
A/N:

Special thanks to Elmida, Kimmeh and Birdie!

Please tell me what you think of my story, give me feedback I can work with. I’d like to improve my writing, so any comments on it would be great.