A Good Boy

A/N: Sorry for the long waiting. I\'ve gotten some bad news, so the computer have not been my main priority lately. But here is chapter eight. :)





Chapter Eight – The Kiss (Again)





“Potter… I just… You don’t…” Draco did not know what to do. It was the second time Harry had seen him this weak, and he could not help wondering why these things kept happening to him. He was so pathetic. He could not even maintain his façade in front of Harry-fucking-Potter. He wanted to be strong, but for some reason he just could not stop the tears that were flowing from his eyes.



“Draco. Come here.” Draco glanced at Harry and saw him holding his arms out. He wanted to sneer at him. But then that night came to mind. He had not let himself think about it once since it happened. Now he could not help it, though. He had felt so taken care of, so safe. He just wanted to feel that way again. But he did not want Harry to see him like this. He would probably just use this against him, as he had with that first incident.



But then Draco looked at him and saw real concern etched in his features. And seeing as Harry had already seen him weak, he figured he had nothing to lose and leaned into his embrace. Harry tightened his arms around him, using one of his hands to stroke his back. At first, Draco tried to stop the crying, but then he just gave in and let it all come. He had not felt this way with anyone before. He felt so safe, as though nothing could harm him. And so he cried, and he cried, and all the while, Harry held him and stroked his hair and his back. A very long time later, Draco’s crying subsided, and then it stopped. He made a feeble attempt at sitting up, but Harry stopped him and he stayed willingly.



“Please, Draco. I need to know.”



Draco took a deep breath. He figured he owed him this much, for everything he had put him through. “Fine. Ask away.”



“For how long has this been going on?”



He sighed deeply before answering. “Since I was five.” Harry gasped. Draco could guess what was going through his mind. Why had he been so pathetic as to let him to this through all these years?



“Oh, my god, Draco, that’s sick!”



Draco felt his stomach lurch. He knew this would come. Why had he thought that Harry would think any different of him than he himself did?



“Why haven’t you told anyone? Why hasn’t anyone noticed? Haven’t your parents suspected something?”



Draco was relieved Harry was not screaming at him or calling him a freak. He knew this was not over yet though, and was not about to get his hopes up. “I can’t tell. No one can find out.”



“And why the hell not? Draco, this is bad, this is really bad.”



“No one can find out because my father would kill me if he knew I’d disobeyed him.”



“But…”



Draco sat up, facing Harry. “No, let me finish. Father knows all about this. He told me to always do as Snape says, and so I have. Because I know my father would do much worse if he knew I’ve disobeyed him. So no one can find out. It’s just a few months left before graduation, and then I’ll leave. Please, Harry, you can’t tell anyone.” He saw Harry startle at the use of his first name. He quickly recovered from it though.



“For fucks sake, Draco. How can you take this so calmly?! Don’t you see what he’s doing to you?! And for twelve fucking years!!” Harry was screaming by now, rage flying off of him in waves.



“I know. Please, Harry, I know. It’s just… You’ve met my father. You know what he’s capable of. I just want to get this over with and then get on with my life.” Draco could see Harry had a hard time dealing with all this. And so he started getting dressed, knowing this would be a good time to leave.



“I have to go back to school now. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? In the meantime, please don’t tell anyone. For me.” Draco was walking in the dark towards the castle when Harry caught up to him and turned him around.



“Please, don’t hate me for this.” And then he kissed him.



Draco’s first instinct was to pull away. But then he noticed how good it felt. It was so soft. Nothing like Snape’s brutal kisses. So instead of protesting, he just let himself be kissed. And when Harry put his arms around him, he relaxed completely, once again feeling safe. Tentatively, he kissed back. It felt so different to what he was used to. The kiss ended much too soon for Draco’s liking.



“Harry…”



“I know. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I don’t know what came over me, I just had to do it. I didn’t mean to.”



“Harry,” Draco interrupted, getting sick of Harry’s babbling. “I liked it.”



That silenced Harry rather successfully. All he said was, “Oh.” And then he blushed, looking very much like a little boy getting caught doing something he was not supposed to.



“Oh, please, stop being so God damn childish.”



“So…” Harry scraped his foot on the ground, not looking more mature. “What do we do now?”



“I don’t know what you’re going to do, but I’m going to go to my dorm room. It’s fucking freezing out here.”



“Draco. You know what I mean. What are we going to do with this? Us?”



“I don’t know. This isn’t easy for me. Can’t we just see where it goes?”



Harry smiled, looking a little disappointed. “Yeah, sure. See where it goes. Right.”



And then Draco walked away, not feeling completely satisfied with how he had handled things back there.





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The next morning, when he saw Ron and Hermione snuggling at breakfast, since they had finally realized after Christmas break that they ought to be together, he felt a pang of jealousy. Not the jealousy he had felt before, when he would feel a little left out. This time, he was jealous he did not get to do that with Draco. It felt as though he had quieted down his emotions for so long. And now, when they were free, they were raging about, totally messing him up. Not to mention everything he had found out last night.



He had not quite decided what to do with it yet. He knew he could not tell anyone. Not only because he knew how the older Malfoy was, but because he had seen how much it meant to Draco. But if he could not tell anyone, what should he do? Most of all, he wanted to kill Snape. He had pondered a lot over it during the night, but came to the conclusion that he could not see Draco if he was stuck in Azkaban. But if he could not tell anyone, and he could not kill Snape, then what should he do?



He had thought about it all night, not being able to sleep at all. He had also thought about Draco’s soft lips, and how they had felt. He could not eat and he could not stop scanning the room for Draco. When he realized he probably would not come to breakfast, he quickly excused himself (not even causing a pause in his best friend’s kissing) and ran to his room. Once there, he quickly scanned the Mauruder’s Map for Draco, spotting him sitting by the lake. Harry was not sure he could live another minute without seeing him, and so he ran downstairs and out into the chilly morning, not even bothering to put on his coat, much less a scarf or gloves. It was not hard to find Draco, and with a racing heart (not only due to the running), he closed in and sat down.



Draco had heard him coming from a long distance. One half of him was happy; the other half was scared. He was not sure if he was ready to meet Harry just yet. He was relieved Harry just sat down next to him without saying anything. Draco did not want to say anything either, or rather he did not know what to say, so they just sat there quietly. It felt good to Draco. He could not remember a time when he had been this relaxed with anyone.



After a while, he felt something on his hand. He looked down and saw Harry’s bare hand sneaking into his gloved one. Smiling a little, he took it, squeezing lightly. A jolt of happiness passed through him when Harry squeezed back. How was it that holding hands could mean so much to him, when he had done so much more ever since he was a child? Just holding hands should not mean anything; it was far too innocent. But maybe that was it. Because it was so innocent, it meant much more than any kiss could.



As the sun rose higher in the sky, they sat there, not caring about anything. Draco did not want to ever let go. It felt so nice. He did not want to leave, he wanted to feel like this through eternity. But then he saw Harry shaking slightly, and realized he was not nearly properly dressed for the cold, winter morning.



“Harry, you’re freezing! Why didn’t you put on clothes?”



“I… I just wanted to see you.” He blushed again.



Draco was not sure if it was adorable or annoying. He settled on both. “Merlin, you’re so daft. Come with me.”



He looked at his watch and noticed the first lesson of the day had already begun. That meant everyone would be in class. Ignoring Harry’s protests, he led him down to the dungeons and into his dorm room. He pulled one of the sofas closer to the roaring fire and then sat down, waiting for Harry to join him.



“Draco, I shouldn’t be here.”



“Oh, don’t act so damn innocent. No one’s here anyway, the first class has already begun.”



“Oh.” Harry slumped down next to him.



Draco was shocked to see how blue his hands were, so he took them and started warming them between his own. He blew on them and rubbed them, and then looked up and saw Harry staring at him. “What?” But he did not get an answer, because Harry had jumped him and was now kissing him as though his life depended on it. Draco closed his eyes, instantly seeing Snape, feeling his lips, tongue, and hands. He pulled away as quickly as he could. But when he opened his eyes, all he saw was Harry’s sad expression. “Harry..” he began.



“I’m sorry. I just thought… after last night…” Harry looked so devastated, it made Draco scream on the inside. Desperate to make him happy again, he kissed him, gently stroking his face. When he pulled back, Harry’s expression had turned into one of confusion.



“Draco, what… what’s going on?”



“Nothing.”



“Why did you back away at first, and then you kissed me?”



“I… I’m… This is the way I am. Deal with it.”



Harry looked confused for a while, but then it dawned on him, and he looked like he had done the worst thing in the world.



“Oh, fuck, Draco, I’m so sorry. You thought of… him… didn’t you?”



Draco looked away, not wanting to respond. He was still not comfortable with Harry knowing so much about him. He did not want anyone to know this. It was hard enough knowing himself.



“Is there anything I can do?”



“No.”



“Draco, please. Talk to me.” Harry tried to take his hand, but Draco shook it of. He did not know what to do. It all felt so wrong, but at the same time, so very right. He was torn in an ocean of feelings, all of them trying to overtake him. He was startled to feel a hand on his cheek. Harry looked at him, but Draco could not meet his gaze.



“I can’t do this. It’s too much.” And then he walked out on him before Harry had the time to come up with a response. When he closed the door, he caught a glimpse of Harry looking like a sad puppy. Draco felt his heart ache, but even though he wanted, more than anything, to make Harry happy again, he closed the door and left.







A/N:





elphaba:I\'m glad you think so. :) Exactely what I was going for.



nicole: Aaw, thank you so much! :D That makes me really happy! ^^ And Harry/Draco is the awesomest pairing! I recomend beautiful world, one of the first fanfics I read with Harry/Draco. It\'s beautiful!



SilverLion: Harry is the knight in shining armour, isn\'t he? ^^



thrnbrooke Yes, I didn\'t particularly like putting Draco in that situation, but it was needed. He would never tell Harry.



yaoiObsessed: Yes, not a pleasant situation for Draco at all. But it was needed. And they are in the seventh and last year. :) Dumbledore never died and killed Voldemort in the summer after year six. So everything is fine and everyone\'s alive. :)



mrequecky: Thank you, glad you like it! :)



Ellesmera Potter: Aww, that makes me so happy! :D I never really thought anyone would really like it. ^^ Hope you like this one as well. :)