Muse

They zigged and zagged quickly through traffic, Remus focusing so completely on upcoming events that he didn’t yell at Sirius to slow down. The sensation of the humming machine between his legs and Sirius’ strong back pressed flush against his chest, although incredibly arousing, did nothing to ease Remus’ anxiety about what might happen once they stopped. His apprehension grew the closer they got to his flat and his stomach churned with nerves.



Sirius had caught him by surprise earlier tonight - grabbing him and pulling him into that cupboard - and, in the dark, Remus had been able to be brave and fearless. But in the cold, florescent light of his flat, he feared his courage would flee. Not because he didn’t want the other man - Lord, his reactions to Sirius were entirely elemental; he couldn’t have resisted even if he’d wanted to - but where would Remus and his battered heart be once Sirius saw what lay under his shirt?



The scars that littered his body were something he still wasn’t used to seeing - the web of jagged lines jolting him each time he looked in the mirror. They were defacements, imperfections that he wished he could erase just as easily as he did for his clients. If they had a blemish, he could just paint it out and leave them unmarred. Remus knew he hadn’t been any kind of Greek god before the accident, but he’d been reasonably proud of his lean, lightly muscled body. Now…he could barely look at himself without wincing. He wasn’t sure he was ready to expose the raised, still angry looking scars that were scattered across his body to a lover, especially to Sirius - who personified perfection; whose rejection, Remus suspected, might just destroy him. He was becoming far too involved with this man who, really, he knew very little about. Remus knew that he would eventually learn to tolerate, even accept, the scars all over his body, but his heart may not recover so well from the damage Sirius could inflict on it.



He’s becoming too important to me. He’s got too much power over me.



The bike turned sharply, pulling into a parking spot directly outside Remus’ flat. Sirius switched off the engine and balanced the bike on the kickstand before removing his helmet. He twisted around to grin at Remus who put his feet down flat on the pavement and took off his own helmet, giving Sirius a watery smile. A crease appeared between the other man’s eyes.



‘Okay?\' Sirius asked in concern. \'Did I go too fast for you?’



Remus tried to warm up his lukewarm smile as he shook his head. ‘No,\' he insisted. \'No, I’m fine.’



‘Am I still invited up?’ Sirius asked with a little frown, obviously not buying the forced cheer.



Remus paused a moment then swung his leg over the bike and stood up. ‘Of course you are.’



Sirius stared at him for a moment longer then smiled and dismounted the bike, taking Remus’ hand and twining their fingers together as he led Remus up the stairs.



They didn’t speak, Sirius watching silently as Remus struggled for several seconds to fit the key into the lock for before he put his hand over the artist’s trembling one and helped him along.



As Remus pushed open the door and stepped inside, Sirius hesitated. ’Remus, I’ll be happy to just have a drink and a chat, you know?\' he said. \'I don’t want you to feel any pressure…’



Remus sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead agitatedly. ‘I…It’s not that…I want...\' he stuttered then he sighed. \'Shit.’



He looked up at Sirius’ worried face and his chest tightened. It had been a long time since someone had looked at him like that - caring, understanding. He had lived quite a solitary life, immersed in his art, but now that his inspiration to paint had gotten somewhat lost, Remus was realising how much beauty there was away from the canvas.



I’ll never know how good it could be if I don’t take a chance.



Making his decision, he held out his hand and, with a quirk of his lips, Sirius took it and allowed Remus to draw him inside the flat and down the hall.



~*~





They went straight to Remus’ studio and Sirius was startled when Remus spun around quickly and kissed him hard and fast. Sirius barely had time to respond before Remus pulled back, a little breathless and with a dark desperation in his eyes.



‘I want to paint you.’



Sirius was surprised by the abruptness of Remus’ kiss and the urgency in his words, but he nodded in agreement.



‘Nude,\' Remus elaborated with the look of a starving man. \'I want you naked.’



Sirius smiled broadly - he had no objection to this. ‘Wouldn’t have it any other way,’ he murmured.



He stripped his clothes off hastily, leaving them in a messy pile on the floor and made his way to the couch. Remus was setting up his easel, hands sure and confident, and Sirius felt a jolt of desire as he watched.



He is an incredibly sexy man.



Remus wasn’t the best looking guy he‘d ever been with, but he oozed a raw, primordial sexuality that was all the more attractive because he had no idea he was doing it. Just the artist’s scent - a spicy lemon blend combined with oil paint and parchment - could make Sirius dizzy with longing and his intense reaction startled him.



No one else has ever done this to me. Not even…



Sirius frowned, refusing to allow his mind to remember that name that he kept firmly in his past. He looked over at Remus who was bending over and rummaging through his supplies.



The brown-haired man looked up just then, peering at Sirius through the curtain of his fringe and his swallow was audible as was his muttered, ‘Fuck.’



Sirius was pleased that Remus responded to him as strongly as he reacted to the artist and he grinned mischievously as he threw himself theatrically onto the couch, stretching out his legs and letting his arms fall naturally - one across the headrest of the couch and the other bent behind his head.



‘Do you want to come and pose me?’he teased as Remus straightened and cleared his throat.



‘Ah, no…that…that is…perfect, actually.’



His blue eyes travelled hungrily over every inch of Sirius’ naked body and the brunette could feel his skin heating up under the greedy gaze. It was Sirius\' turn to swallow as his mouth and throat went dry and his cock reacted strongly, swelling and lengthening against his thigh. Remus’ gaze lingered on the hardening phallus then it flicked up to Sirius’ face, taking in the flush of desire colouring the other man’s cheeks and the lust-clouded eyes.



‘Fucking perfect.’



Sirius closed his eyes, thinking of eighty-year-old Martha dressed in a leather corset and whipping her naked hubby to stop himself coming on the spot. Remus’ voice… no, his growl… was deep, hoarse and thrumming with want. When he opened them again, Remus’ hand was moving feverishly over the sketch pad in front of him.



Sirius didn’t know how much time passed - he was too busy watching Remus to keep track. The other man was simply mesmerising and it wasn’t until Remus looked up and frowned that Sirius was shaken out of the trance Remus’ hands had lulled him into.



‘You are…lost your…’



Sirius frowned, then saw Remus’ eyes drop to his cock, which, although certainly still turgid, had lost some tumescence as Sirius was distracted by the sway of Remus’ hair as he sketched. The brunette looked up and smirked mischieviously.



‘Well, what are you going to do about it?’



Sirius\' eyes, now a dark, challenging grey, bore into Remus’ and he saw the artist lick his lips before he stood and moved slowly to the couch. Remus looked down at Sirius and deliberately let his eyes languidly wander down and then back up the other man’s body. By the time their eyes met again, amusement was shining in the blue orbs and Sirius was squirming with hot arousal. Without a word, Remus knelt beside the chair - the corner of his mouth turning up when he saw Sirius’ cock immediately twitch with interest. Sirius raised his hips involuntarily and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he waited impatiently for Remus to make his move.



When Remus did touch him, Sirius was bemused that those fingers wrapped around his leg instead of his cock. A thumb stroked over the sensitive skin of Sirius’ ankle as Remus\' other hand moved to a hair-sprinkled thigh. He gripped the limb firmly and adjusted the angle of Sirius’ knee before skimming both hands over the long, strong leg. Sirius couldn’t help smiling even as he groaned with want: without laying so much as one finger on his cock, Remus had made him as hard as stone.



‘That seems to have done it,’ Remus said in a gravely voice, glancing from the bobbing cock to Sirius’ face.



Sirius’ breathing was uneven and his lip trembled as need pulsed through his veins. \'Yes,\' he whispered roughly.



Remus pushed himself to his feet then bent and kissed Sirius lightly on the lips. His hand… accidentally? purposefully?… brushed over the tip of the other man\'s leaking cock and Sirius yelped then bit down on Remus’ lip. Remus pulled back, touching his abused lip with the same index finger that had skimmed Sirius cock then, eyes catching and holding Sirius’, he sucked the finger into his mouth.



Sirius moaned then when Remus mumbled, ‘I can taste you on me,’ around the digit, his hand flew to his erection, squeezing the base of the shaft in an attempt to halt the orgasm he could feel coming ever closer.



Remus chuckled when he realised what Sirius was doing and quickly moved back to the easel. ‘Not long now. Promise.’



There was a seductive cadence to his voice that did nothing to ease Sirius’ discomfiture. Each time Remus’ eyes shifted to glance at his body, Sirius got harder and harder until he was whimpering softly and curling his toes in an effort to keep from gripping his own prick and finishing himself off with one little stroke. The only thing keeping him sane was knowing Remus wasn’t exempt from feeling a similar pressure; the other man’s hand was dropping to his lap more and more, and he was squirming on the wooden stool. This had turned into a battle of wills - who was going to snap and make the first move?



Sirius reached the end of his tolerance when he saw Remus\' pink tongue slip between his lips to lick up a bead of sweat that had streaked over his cheek. He groaned loudly then rose stiffly to his feet with every intention of ravishing the teasing artist up against his bloody easel. One look at Remus, though, revealed that his surrender was redundant - Remus’ restraint had broken at the sound of Sirius\' guttural groan, and the brown-haired man was already out of his seat and striding towards Sirius with one hand fumbling at his fly. Remus pushed Sirius back onto the couch then fell down onto his knees, gripping the other man\'s legs and roughly pushing them apart.



‘Remus…’ Sirius gasped, reaching for the other man and pulling him between his thighs.



Close…I need him close…



Blue and grey eyes clashed - Remus whispering, ‘You are so fucking beautiful,’ before he lowered his head and swallowed Sirius’ cock down to the base.



Curses and pleas tumbled out of Sirius\' mouth; unheard as every one of the man\'s senses focused completely on his cock and the warm, wet mouth encasing it. Sensation overwhelmed him and Sirius fought for breath as Remus’ sweet, sweet mouth slid up and down his shaft. A soft tongue teased his cock head then Remus sucked… hard… and Sirius exploded with a shout, yelling Remus’ name as he arched into the tight warmth of his lover’s throat. Remus moaned and the vibrations made Sirius’ pleasure spike again, drawing out his release until he thought he might die from delectation.



Remus didn’t stop sucking or licking at his cock and, as pleasure started to twist into pain, Sirius realised the other man was working his own dick fervently as he licked up every last trace of Sirius’ release. A surge of energy suffused Sirius\' satiated muscles and he pushed Remus back onto the hardwood floor, making the other man grunt in surprise. Sirius followed Remus to the floor, looming over him as he caught his lips with his own, moaning when his tongue swept over Remus’ and tasted his own essence there. Sirius\' hand slid between them, shoving Remus’ out of the way as he wrapped his own fingers around the long, thick prick. Remus made a groaning noise that sounded as though it had been ripped from him as Sirius slithered down his body. His breath caught as he saw Remus\' cock for the first time, and Sirius suddenly had to swallow hard as his mouth began to water.



‘Christ, you have a fucking gorgeous prick, Remus.’



Remus made a choking sound, but Sirius ignored him in favour of lowering his face to the tangle of coarse brown hair encircling the phallus and breathing deep, savouring the musky scent of the man who was quickly becoming so very important to him.



‘S…Sirius…’



Remus’ tongue drew his name out sibilantly then shuddered as Sirius flattened his tongue and licked the artist’s shaft firmly from root to tip, following the thick, pulsing vein on the underside of the weeping cock. He swirled the muscle around the head of Remus’ cock, flicking it over the ridge then swiping it across the leaking slit at the very tip.



‘Sirius…I…close…fuck…’ Remus choked out, hands sliding into Sirius\' hair.



Sirius closed his mouth around Remus’ cock head, suckling gently and revelling in the sharp flavour of the man then, when Remus’ hips canted sharply up, he drew the entire, not insignificant length into his mouth. Remus’ hands closed tightly around clumps of raven hair and Sirius let out a grunt of pain as the other man pulled on the strands. Luckily for Sirius’ crowning glory, a few plunges into that wet heat was all Remus needed, the man arching up and keening loudly as he came powerfully.



Sirius let the spent cock slide out of his mouth then smiled into Remus’ hip when he heard the other man gasping for breath, his body heaving in its quest for oxygen. He nuzzled his face into Remus’ stomach and felt smooth, raised scar tissue against his cheek. Sirius looked down at the myriad of pink scars that criss-crossed Remus’ stomach and hip, a finger following a particularly long one that disappeared up under Remus‘ shirt. Remus’ body tensed under his and hands scrambled to cover the marks.



‘Don’t…’



Sirius covered Remus\' hands with his own, stilling them, then raised his head to look Remus in the eye. The other man’s face was panic-stricken and Sirius felt a wave of empathy.



‘Remus, it’s alright. I’ve seen them now.’ Sirius smiled gently at the man underneath him then shuffled himself higher so he could kiss this man who was bewitching him. ‘And I’m not running away.’



His mouth met Remus’ and he smiled against his lips. ‘See? Still very much here.’



A muscle in Remus’ jaw jumped, but Sirius felt him relax slightly and decided to push a little, pulling back to look down at the other man.



‘That’s why you were so jumpy earlier, wasn’t it?\' he asked, now understanding the other man\'s hesitation. \'You were worried about me seeing the scars?’



‘They…I’m not used to them yet,\' Remus admitted, tugging on the hem of his shirt self-consciously. \'There…there are a lot of them…’



‘I don’t care, Remus,\' Sirius said reassuringly, touching Remus\' jaw lightly. \'I like you - it’s going to take more than a few scars to scare me off.’



One side of Remus mouth turned up and he bought his hand to Sirius’ head, stroking his hair gently. ‘Did I pull too hard?\' he asked, changing the subject smoothly. \'I can be a bit rough…’



‘Mmm, promises, promises,\' Sirius said cheekily, then grinned. \'You didn\'t hurt me. I’m tough. I can take it.’



Remus chuckled and Sirius couldn’t help himself, leaning in to kiss him again. He let his lips linger longer this time, finding that he didn’t want to break the soft lip lock.



Fuck, I’m in deep, deep shit here.



Sirius tugged on Remus’ hands, arranging their limbs so they were wrapped in the circle of each other’s arms, finally releasing the other man’s lips to rest his head on Remus’ sweat-dampened, fabric-covered chest. He could feel a warmth inside that had nothing to do with lust or desire…this was something much more difficult to deal with, something much harder to acknowledge and something Sirius wasn’t quite ready to think about so instead, he focused on practicalities.



‘I’m safe, by the way.’



Remus shifted to look at him. ‘What?’



‘I was tested a month ago,\' Sirius told him. \'I’m clean.’



‘Oh.’ Remus paused then said, ‘So am I. Last test was six months ago, but I haven’t been with anyone since.’



‘I usually use a condom, but you…you surprised me,\' Sirius admitted ruefully. \'I didn’t even think about it. Sorry.’



‘I forgot as well,\' Remus murmured, his fingers trailing along the inside of Sirius\' arm, making the other man shiver. You just…you’re a very good subject.’



Sirius snorted in laughter, kissing Remus on the jaw then pushing himself to his feet. ‘Can I see it then?\' he asked. \'The sketch?’



Remus, distracted by the wide expanse of creamy skin on display, muttered, ‘Er, yeah…’



Sirius walked over to the easel, bending and grabbing his jeans off the floor as he did, smirking when he heard Remus groan. He got one leg in the pants before he looked down at the sketch pad and promptly forgot all about dressing.



‘Holy shit,\' he whispered then glanced over at Remus who was still laying on the floor buttoning his fly. ‘Remus…’



Remus smiled as he stood up and moved to stand beside Sirius. ‘Told you that you were a good subject.’



Sirius shook his head, gazing speechlessly down at the sketch. Even his non-trained eyes could tell that this drawing was extraordinary. Remus had captured sensuality, lust, desire, need and a softer emotion that fell into the ‘too hard‘ category right now. Each fluid line screamed sexuality. This was the very definition of erotic and Sirius was in awe of the man who had managed to capture these elusive emotions on paper.



‘Remus, I…’ Sirius shook his head again, his brain unable to string any coherent words together.



‘I’ve still got to finish it off…\' Remus said, frowning thoughtfully at the sketch. \'I’d like to use it in the exhibit if that’s alright with you. I’ll make sure I paint something over your…bits…’



Sirius grabbed hold of Remus’ shirt and pulled the other man to him, kissing him hard and deep as his arms wrapped around him. He had to do something with his mouth because the words he\'d only ever said once before were about to fall off the tip of his tongue and these were words that went along with that ‘way too hard to deal with’ emotion that kept bubbling up inside him and was starting to scare him to death.



I am in so much trouble here.



TBC...