The Strongest Signal of All

Pansy let herself relax in the home that had once been hers. Ron had bought it for her, but when she left couldn’t bring himself to sell it. It was the home he shared with her. She felt more relaxed and didn’t realize how much she missed it.



They were hounded by reporters at all hours, but Pansy didn’t want to speak to anyone. Ron charmed the house so the windows only worked one way. Anyone who looked it would see nothing but the reflection of themselves. It was a handy spell the Auror department used and she was grateful. She knew she was being seen in contrasting light in the public eye.



Many saw her as a murderer, who killed her husband in cold blood after an argument. Others thought she was justified in defending herself in any way she could. It was all speculation. Hermione had made sure that nothing was given to the public, so they were making guesses about what happened. Pansy knew that in order to set things right she would have to speak and she wasn’t ready to do that.



Pansy allowed herself the pampering Lucy provided. Ron came home every evening, making sure she had his company. It was comforting and when the solitariness began to ware on her nerves she was thankful for his presence. Ron had taken on desk duty in the Auror department so he could be home with Pansy.



No mention was made of their near kiss. Granted their lips had touched but the appearance of Neville Longbottom stopped anything from happening. Pansy was glad for his interruption. Being out of Azkaban gave her a euphoric high. She was worried about what would happen when she was alone with him.



Her worries were needless. Ron never demanded anything from her. She was given her own room, it had been the guest room when she was his wife. He stayed in the room they had shared as a married couple. She wondered what she should do with her life, but when she thought of leaving the house she was frightened. Ron made her feel secure and she liked feeling secure.



In all honestly she was scared of everything now. James had made her feel safe and he had betrayed her in the worst way imaginable. She was afraid of everything now. Afraid to even venture out of the house, instead sending Lucy on errands. She told Ron she just didn’t want to talk to anyone, and he had taken her word but it was much more then that.



She thought she would relax and heal at Ron’s and she did, but she found herself becoming too attached to the safety he offered. She started thinking of the house a haven that she didn’t want to leave.



Lucy became concerned. She was bonded to Pansy now and saw the effects that were taking over her mistress. She felt Ron should know but didn’t know if she had the right to say anything. House elves kept their masters secrets, but she didn’t know if this was a secret. Ron said he would help her and that’s what she needed. It was her duty to see that her Mistress has what she needed.



When Ron returned that night Pansy had cooked him shepherd’s pie and hot bread. One of his favorites when they were married. His cuisine choice hadn’t changed and he tucked in with relish.



As Pansy slowly ate, Ron noticed the elf at the kitchen entrance, looking at him sadly. She held a finger to her lips when he was about to ask what was wrong. She wiped her eye and pointed to Pansy then gave a mock shiver.



Ron looked at Pansy and then back at the elf, raising an eyebrow. The elf gave a nod and pantomimed a sleeping motion and being jerked away with a scared look. Ron gave a slight nod and looked back at his plate.



“How have you been feeling lately Pansy? Are you doing any better?” He asked.



“Yes. I don’t need any of the potions Neville gave me.” She said proudly.



“What about the sleep aid?” He asked.



“No, I don’t need it.” She was focusing on her plate but had only eaten half. She was a light eater but this time Ron was concerned. She had dropped weight from her brief stay in Azkaban. She had been there for maybe six or seven hours but she had lost her appetite for days afterward. Neville had said the depression of not knowing if she would go back affected her. She ate very little while she was in St. Mungo’s. She was too tired to eat and she was given vitamins and fed soup when she could take it.



Lucy seemed worried about her and this concerned Ron. Lucy would know when something was wrong. The magic of a house elf was the strongest in nature.



Pansy cleared the dishes, taking them to the kitchen. Ron heard the spells going off as she cleaned up. “Lucy?” He whispered. The elf wasn’t bound to answer him but she appeared anyway. “Has she been having trouble sleeping?” Lucy only nodded, most likely feeling guilty about betraying her mistress. “Don’t worry I won’t tell her you told me. I’ll find out on my own.” Lucy gave a relieved look then popped away to assist Pansy.



That night as Ron was in his room reading he left his bedroom door open. He was going through the Daily Prophet as he did every evening when Pansy passed by his door, looked in and smiled. “Goodnight Ron.”



He didn’t move from the bed, just smiled back. “Goodnight Pansy.” She moved to her room and went to bed. She had a habit of leaving the door open when she slept. Tonight he would leave his open as well. He placed extendable ears next to her nightstand when she was in the shower and then used a concealing charm. If anything happened during the night, he’d know.



Ron was awakened by a whimper. He looked around and heard nothing then it sounded again, very faintly. He got up and crept to Pansy’s room. Her head flipped to face him and he saw the hard expression as she gave another whimper.



“Pansy?” She whimpered louder and her face looked pained. He entered the room and took her by the shoulders. “Pansy, wake up.” She pulled from his arms and groaned. “Pansy wake up now!” He shouted, giving her a shake.



Her eyes flew open and she stared at Ron above her. Scooting away she pushed at his arms. “Don’t touch me.” She said trying to move away.



“Alright, I won’t.” He let go and knelt on the floor beside her bed. She edged back until she was up against the headboard. “Pansy you had a nightmare.”



“Don’t touch me!” She held out her palm to keep him away.



“I won’t, I’m right here, I’m not going to touch you.” He backed up a little to make it a point. “Pansy I’m going to get you some dreamless sleep.”



She averted her head. “I don’t need it.”



“Yes, you do. Now I’m going to go get it and leave it on your nightstand, and we can talk in the morning.” He got up and left the room moving to his and walking to the bathroom. He quickly fetched the potion and returned but didn’t enter the room.



“Pansy,” he said nothing in the door, “here’s your potion, please take it.” He set it on the nightstand but still kept himself just outside the doorframe. She was frightened.



“’You are my property and I will do what I want with my property.’” She whispered. He walked in and knelt again. She was devoid of any emotion and was staring into the wall across from her.



“Sorry,” he said, “what was that?” He kept himself at the foot of the bed.



“That’s what he told me. ‘There is only one purpose for wives and this is it.’” Ron shook his head feeling his anger rise. How could anyone treat his Pansy this way. “’This is what you need to spend you time doing. Waiting for this.’” A tear fell down her cheek.



Ron fought inside to keep from lashing out and breaking anything. Pansy had told them what happened but didn’t mention actual dialogue. She explained this vaguely, how he came at her, yelled at her, was upset that Ginny had come over and raped her in her own bed. She never mentioned what he said. When she cried during the talk with Hermione and gave over the memory he thought it might have been embarrassment, but now he knew it was more then that.



This was humiliating for her to admit. “I never saw it coming. I should have but I didn’t.” She let more tears fall.



“There’s no way you could have seen that Pansy.” He moved closer, but still didn’t reach out for her.



She didn’t do anything, just started. Then after several moments she spoke. “I’d like to see Neville.” She whispered.



“Ok, I’ll owl him tomorrow morning, first thing.” He said. She nodded, letting another tear fall. “Please take the potion.”



He reached out and handed her the bottle. As if in a trance she took it and downed the contents. Ron stayed where he was until she fell asleep ten minutes later. He added a sleeping draught as well.



He felt like strangling James Brames all over again. How dare that animal treat his Pansy this way. He felt like a failure, himself. He had promised to protect her all those years ago and he hadn’t. Maybe he shouldn’t have let her go so easily, maybe he should have fought harder for her.



He put the thoughts away and settled into bed. He would contact Neville right away. She was dying inside. Emotionally falling apart, day by day. Her hours in Azkaban didn’t help. They sucked out the joy from her and even though she wasn’t there anymore she was still feeling the aftermath.



She needed to talk to someone. Neville was also a specialist in emotionally healing as well. He could talk to her, find out what her dreams are about and help her.



He took her to a cottage for their honeymoon, it was only a weekend, because of his training, but she loved it. Maybe he could take her back. He hadn’t taken a holiday in some time. He had the time and everyone knew he was caring for her right now, they would understand if he took time off.



Pansy loved that cottage and the time they spent their was the happiest of their marriage. Right now Pansy needed as much happiness as she could get. He had a few ideas on how to make her happy, starting with himself. He had spent the time after their divorce in the field with the other Aurors. When Pansy agreed to come to his home, he spoken to the head of his department and placed himself in the administration section of the Auror department. It was his job to see to it that paperwork and orders were not disobeyed, right weren’t violated and procedures were followed.



He was going to ask to be placed there permanently. The department needed a complete renovation, so he could make himself useful, and be able to assist Pansy. Now was his chance to make things up to her. He failed the first time, he let her slip away. That was not going to happen this time.