Daughter of Leda

Days passed without speaking to Lucius. Hermione told herself that she was just busy preparing for school to resume, but in the back of her mind there was a little voice that told a different story. You’re scared of him. You’re scared of yourself when around him. He makes you push his buttons. He makes you want him. Regardless of the new parts of her personality, which she was steadily discovering and becoming accustomed to, nothing had changed Hermione’s belief in absolute loyalty. Perhaps she could let herself overlook Lucius’ ties to Voldemort, and maybe in so doing she could convince him to switch sides. She could not, however, allow herself to become physically intimate with a man who was married to another woman. Physically intimate? You sound like a prude. What century are you from? Sounds like someone could use a handsome Slytherin to get over that way of thinking about it.

Hermione lay in bed thinking about all of this, and before long her fingers were caressing her own skin, running up and down her body as thoughts of Lucius consumed her. She might be unwilling to be intimate with him, but she was not wholly immune to his charms. Her hand slid under her t-shirt and ran softly over her nipples, imagining how it would feel for him to caress her breasts with his hands and take her nipple in his mouth. He’d lick the tip, then suck it softly, his hand moving down over her stomach and finally gripping her hip to pull their bodies closer together. Or he’d take one of those beautiful fingers of his and enter her, feeling just how wet he made her. Hermione’s own fingers mimicked her imagination, and she felt her body becoming more and more aroused by the thoughts. It didn’t help in convincing herself to stay away from him, but in some ways it took the edge off her desire for him.

There was a tap on her window which caused her to jump. Lucius’ owl was at the window, and she could scarcely move fast enough to get the letter and tear it open.

My Dearest Lioness,

Each morning since seeing you last I have woken and immediately checked for some word from you. Each time there is nothing my mood falls deeper and deeper into the darkness. You are my light, as strange as it is to put such thought to paper. I dream of having you here.

If you do not wish to return to see me at present then at least send me word of how you are doing. Let me know you are happy, and that your days are pleasurable.

Quite humbly yours,
Lucius

Her heart nearly ached with his letter, sorry to be the cause of such apparent pain. She had no right to be close to him as he seemed to want, but a part of her wished so badly to go and put her arms around him and hold him tight. Lucius was a man of steel, cold and unwavering. Yet here he was, laying himself vulnerable before her. It meant a great deal to her, and sent her mind places it shouldn’t go.

“Ugh, this is growing ridiculous,” Hermione said to herself. She needed to think, but her own thoughts did her very little good. She needed outside opinions, but her mother was out of the question and it was too dangerous to tell her magical friends anything. Even if she left out most of the details, including Lucius’ name, it could still cause problems for her. So really, there was very little she could do but call up one of her muggle friends.

Hermione had originally attended muggle schools, and played with neighbors her own age. When she went to Hogwarts’, most of those old friendships had either been abandoned or just faded away as she spent more time away from home. Becca, though, had been her best friend ever since she could remember, and long ago Hermione had confided in her about being a witch. They didn’t talk much anymore, but whenever one of them was in trouble or needed help in some way, the other would step in to help as if they were sisters that had never spent a day apart.

After a few minutes of searching, Hermione found Becca’s most recent phone number. Talking to her was always amusing, because Becca had spent a lot of time with relatives in the United States, and her way of talking was a sort of mix of both places. She quickly dialed the number, and three rings later Becca’s cheerful voice could be heard on the other end of the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey Bec, its Hermione,” she said, a bit nervously. It’s not like she’d just gotten back home on break, and yet she hadn’t found the time to call up Becca and check on her even once.

“Herms! Bloody hell, it’s good to hear from you! How have you been?”

Hermione laughed, her jitters fading away. She felt guilty for not calling, but knew Becca hadn’t held it against her in the slightest. “Things have been a bit crazy since I got back. Some strange things about me have come up, and, well, you’ll find this humorous even if I don’t. I’m in a bit of a difficult situation involving one gorgeous but much older man.”

Becca seemed thrilled at the idea of Hermione and a man, regardless of the situation. She was much more, well, if they weren’t such good friends Hermione would have to classify Becca as a slut. She enjoyed her life though, and she was a loyal friend, so Hermione had never really held it against her. “It’s more complicated than that, Bec,” continued Hermione after her friend’s excited questions about what he looked like and whether they were actually involved yet.

“More complicated?” asked Becca on the other end of the line, quick to dismiss any and all objections. “Either you like each other, and want each other, or you don’t. It’s simple.”

“He’s married.”

There was silence for a minute before Becca started laughing at her. “Gone and gotten yourself a married man? For shame, Miss Granger! Really, though, what’s the deal? Has he made a move?”

“He’s kind of what you’d consider nobility,” explained Hermione carefully. “His marriage was arranged. He claims to have never felt affection for his wife, and says she certainly could care less about him. It’s just so wrong to want a married man, but his voice alone is enough to seduce a girl!”

“Mmm... sounds sexy,” giggled Becca. “If they didn’t marry out of love, Herms, then I really don’t see the problem. Surely fidelity isn’t exactly expected?”

“Gods, it is so sexy,” gushed Hermione before she got a hold of herself. “It doesn’t matter though whether it’s expected. It’s wrong. He made a vow to his wife which he shouldn’t be breaking, and I shouldn’t want to help him break. And where would it lead? It’s not like he can divorce her, and we’d never be able to go out in public together anyway. It’s doomed to end badly.”

“So you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t?” asked Becca seriously. “Look, Hermione, that sort of situation is never easy. I know you think that in my relationships I just jump right in and never think things out, and you’re probably right. But if you keep overanalyzing things then you’re never going to do anything enjoyable with your life. And trust me, you deserve some happiness with all the stress magic has brought in your life--”

Hermione started to interrupt but Becca cut her off and continued. “No, don’t misunderstand me. I know you love that world, and I don’t criticize you for it, but you have to lean a better way to balance things. If you and this guy can cause a little happiness for each other, then maybe it’s worth it regardless of whether or not it can really go anywhere from her. Be careful, but damn it, be happy.”

“I just...I can’t...” said Hermione, stumbling over the words. “I can’t bring myself to do that, even if at the same time I’m having a hard time not doing it.”

Hermione could hear her sigh. “Don’t stress, Herms,” she said, “this isn’t something you have to jump into. Just keep it in mind, and use your best judgment.”

They talked for awhile longer about what Becca had been up to, and a bunch of trivial topics including the latest gossip about some of their old friends. When they finally got off the phone, Hermione found herself feeling a lot better about the situation. It didn’t make the decision any easier, but Becca had managed to make some good points, and it made her feel better regardless since she had actually been able to confide in someone about it.

She went to sleep that night feeling somewhat peaceful. Her decisions could wait until another day.

---

A/N: Ok, so this chapter felt slightly out of place compared to the tone of the rest, but I really felt like it was necessary in order to move along Hermione's changes in thought. Hopefully it will be equally enjoyable for everyone despite the differences. Although this story begins before her seventh year, the ending I've planned will take place a few weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts, so we really only have a few more chapters before we are going to see some jumping ahead in the time frame. I plan on taking enough time to tell the story, but not so much that it just drags things unnecessarily out.

werewolfhime - Yes, I think Lucius needs a good deal more teasing, too, before he can have what he wants. He should be good and certain of his desires.

Citten - Oh, how to answer without giving too much away? Narcissa will be out of the picture, but I won't give away any more than that for the moment. I respect Narcissa to an extent, but I don't see Hermione and Lucius having a good relationship if they are doing so behind his wife's back.

theorgskittles - Hopefully I can keep up a decent flow. I'm a horribly impatient person by nature, and have a hard time forcing myself to slow down in my writing, so that is a huge compliment for me. I will have to do some skipping ahead in time for the story, but I hope it doesn't mess the flow up or make things seem rushed.

catysmom - It means a lot that you are sticking around for each new chapter! I hope I can keep up the interest. :)

---

Thanks so much to everyone who takes the time to review/rate this story. I know sometimes its difficult to think of what you want to say in a review, or are rushed for time, but each review completely brightens my day and really helps me connect with those muses. lol