Eternal Mistakes On The Spotless Soul

A/N: Well now you’ve all gone and done it. Severus has locked himself away and Hermione ran off in tears to God only knows where. All these questions, and suspicions, what choice do you leave me but to tell you??? :-p Please, continue to review, I love it! And thank you to those faithfuls who have been reviewing, please keep it up!

HermioneSnape, Neelix, littlesirene— I offer to you a box of tissues to stopper your tears, and thank you deeply for crying over this story.

Kramsne— *snatches the bat* You take a bat to Severus and I promise you this story will not have a happy ending.

Snakelette— Thank you, I too will keep my fingers crossed.

Wolfsoul— If only everyone were as eager as you are to believe in fate. I hope some of the points you raised are brought to light in this chapter satisfactorily, lest I fear I have failed you. Thank you for your long and thoughtful review.

Larrabee— I too couldn’t agree more that Ginny is at fault. And I’m still furious with her for cheating on Harry.

NarcissasSister— Thank you, and I hope that I do not disappoint. I must say, though, a writer walks the fine line between creativity and complete insanity every day. A good writer dives willingly and headlong into the insanity side at least once.

Sljh— I sense the force in you. Something may be off, but I hope this chapter helps to shed some light on things, though not perhaps in the way you expected. And by all means, express your maternal instincts, it doesn’t mean you’ll get your way. :-p

LyraAphroditeMoon— You are a hopeless romantic. Enough said. I do hope you’ll continue reviewing, however.

ApollinaV— What of the boy indeed? And I can’t help Hermione being crass, sometimes a woman’s emotions and her lack of rationality causes her to do what she sees is best, even if its furthest from being the best. I thank you for your long read and am moved by the fact that you are feeling so strongly about this piece. :-)

ArabellaSnape— As for you, Madam, you will do no such peaking of the sort! I forbid it! FORBID IT!! My suggestion is to special order a thicker skin for yourself, or a big box of Kleenex and a few pints of Ben & Jerry’s, settle in on the sofa and take it all in. You’d be a long time waiting for the ending anyhow. Crying is cathartic, and so is releasing your rage on the wrong person when you’ve lost the love of your life, your child, and you can’t imagine how life will go on. Perhaps you should take a chance that things might get better? Global warming might solve itself too. ;-) Who knows, only the two idiots mucked up in this story know what will happen, and since they’ve both run off and become emotional traumas, I’ve had to present you with some previous knowledge. I do hope you enjoy this chapter, though I cannot promise that it is much brighter than the last. Good day to you!





He sat in the living room of the house they’d shared since she’d finished school. It was a house she was all too familiar with, having visited it every summer since she was eleven. But she’d looked on him with different eyes then, not the doting eyes that she would look at him with come the summer before her seventh year. To her, Severus Snape was the Potions Master, Head of Slytherin House, and a very kind friend of father’s, who allowed her to keep a garden in his backyard during the summer months. On occasion he’d even help her with the maintenance of said garden, changing out of his usual black wardrobe and into something a bit more befitting a gardener, muggle jeans and a tee shirt.



It was the summer after her sixth year that she saw Severus Snape with new eyes. Of course he was still a friend, but one evening in early June with the lightening bugs all a twitter, they sat beneath a large oak tree on the garden swing, admiring their handy work. Her white cotton summer dress ruffled in the breeze as she walked to the back porch to retrieve them more lemonade, but she’d stumbled on a tree root upon her return, spilling the glass all over him. And when he took his shirt off, not angry as she presumed he would be; something in him changed. She saw him for the first time, not as a teacher, not as the family friend, but as a man, and a very attractive man at that.



But those were not the eyes that she looked upon him with now. Tears were streaking from those bluish gray shining orbs as she stormed through their house, gathering her things. They had been together for three years after her completion at Hogwarts, and only six months prior, on April first of all days, had he finally popped the question. They were to be wed in July.



“Nalina,” he muttered from the chair, but she paid him no head as she stomped past him, swiping candlestick holders off the couch that she had made with him on a muggle pottery wheel in their woodshed. “Nalina,” he said again, looking up at her, glass half filled with fire whiskey.



“Don’t, Severus, just don’t.” she whimpered. “I can’t do this anymore.”



“I didn’t say I don’t want to marry you, I just think that maybe we should wait. Your father—”



“My father could give a damn less what happens to me! If he’d had his way I would have been married off to one of his other fine friends years ago!” she sniffled, long strands of her silvery blonde hair falling into her face. She marched out of the living room and upstairs, returning a moment later with four of her suitcases, a trunk, and various other bags, all of which she’d shrunk so that she could more easily carry them.



Severus sighed. He’d been through one of her tantrums once before. He loved the girl dearly, but when Lucius upset her and he fell on top of that upset, she was most immature, and unable to handle her emotions. “You’re being unreasonable.” He said.



“Unreasonable?” her eyes watered once again and she dropped the suitcases. They clattered against the hardwood floor of the entrance hall. Nalina stepped down into their living room and stood in front of his chair. A tiny, but sharp sting hit his chest as she wrenched her engagement ring from her finger and tossed it at him.



Severus sat up, eyes widened in slight alarm. She’d packed her things before, even left once before, going to stay with Draco for the evening, she’d ranted and raved about leaving, claiming it was all too much, but she’d never taken her ring off, not since the night it was put on her finger. Nalina wore her sparkling diamond everywhere, in the shower, to bed, even when she worked in the garden, covering it carefully with an enchanted bubble. She hated gardening gloves, claiming that it did not allow her the satisfying feeling of dirt running through her fingers. “Nalina,” he stood from the chair and grabbed her arm as she turned away from him.



“Don’t. I can’t do this anymore, Severus. I love you, but it took you nearly three years to decide that you thought you might want to marry me, and my father hates the thought—” she sniffled loudly, eyes filled with tears. “And now you think we should wait? You don’t love me. How could you?”



“That’s not true,” he said and attempted to pull the girl into his arms. But Nalina twisted away from him, going to collect her fallen belongings from the entrance hall. “Nalina.”



“Goodbye, Severus.” She said, not turning around to look at him as she scooped her possessions up into her arms, dumped them in her pocket, donned her raincoat and disappeared out the door into the stormy October night.



That had been nearly two weeks prior and he had not heard one word from her. Draco nor Lucius could place her whereabouts and Severus had begun to believe that it truly was over. He hadn’t meant to chase her away. The only woman he’d ever managed to feel something for that had returned his feelings, he’d scared away.



He’d spent the night in the bottle, and could stand the loneliness of the big empty house no longer. Before he’d gotten his bearings, he’d apparated to a dodgey ally in the West End, a flashing neon sign catching his eye. That’s when he’d seen her, inside the club. She moved so wildly, and he was sure for a moment that it was her, but when she approached, he knew it wasn’t. But his mind was so clouded with gin and the thoughts that his sweet Nalina really had left him for good that he pursued her anyhow, even after she dashed off from his kiss.



“What’s your name?” he hissed into her ear as he fucked her hard inside the stall of the lady’s room. She was panting, and whimpering.



“Jane,” she whispered.



Severus closed his eyes, opening them to moonlight in the garden. He was alone. The thoughts of that night ran through his head. He had never imagined that it would lead to all this. It had only taken another three days for Nalina to return to him, begging his forgiveness, which he instantly gave to her. He never mentioned his one night mistake in that muggle club, thinking nothing more of it. And four weeks later his bride to be had announced that she was nearly two months pregnant. He could not have been happier.



Moonbeams seemed to dance on the statue of the fairy holding the baby and he knelt beside it. At his request, Lucius had allowed for the girl to be cremated, her ashes spread throughout the garden and her wand permanently transfigured into the statue that rested before him. Tears dripped from his eyes as he gently pressed his thumb against the cheek of the fairy girl, and a sparkling drop of dew seemed to twinkle and fall from the statue’s eyes for the slightest of moments before disappearing into the stone.