Strength in What Remains Behind

Severus

I laid back down on my bed, suddenly feeling as shy as a boy, exploring himself for the first time. Hesitantly, I gently ran my fingers along my hardened length, focusing on the sensations. I felt silken and warm. The light touch was arousing, but not enough to satisfy my urges. I circled my hand around my dick and squeezed gently, which caused me to groan in response. I stopped and let go. I was going too fast.

I decided to start with the rest of my body first. It was not a bad idea. Though I was somewhat experienced, my few encounters among the Death Eaters were rushed, frenzied, even. Slowly running my hands down my body was an interesting sensation. It was probably more interesting when done by a partner, but still, it was refreshing compared to the hurried orgasms I had subjected myself to earlier in the week. I closed my eyes and imagined Lily shyly running her hands over my body.

I bit my lip as I neared my crotch. I knew where I wanted to be touched, but I wanted to prolong the experience. I slid my hand over my balls instead, gently rubbing and squeezing them. I wondered what it would feel like to have a woman run her tongue over them. I had never experienced the pleasure of oral sex, or even a proper hand job, though it wasn't until now that I realized I was missing out on anything worthwhile.

Finally, I allowed myself to touch what was begging for attention. I moaned as my grip closed around the head of my shaft. I held still for a moment, simply feeling the weight and heat of it. It seemed to almost pulsate in my grip. I slowly stroked down to the base of it. It felt like an eternity of skin sliding over skin. Once I reached the base of it, I gently squeezed, with a sharp intake of breath. I continued in this fashion, slowly stroking myself, pausing each time at the base to squeeze. I heard someone groaning aloud and only dimly registered that it was myself. My hips began thrusting upward of their own accord, meeting my hand on its downstroke. The pleasure was intense, like nothing I had felt before, even with a partner.

I felt myself getting ready to orgasm, so I slowed and brought my hand back down to my balls again, gently rubbing them as the need to cum subsided, then began slowly stroking myself again. It didn't take long for me to begin thrusting into my hand again. I sped up, gasping now as I felt the pleasure coil within me like a spring. Suddenly a hoarse cry ripped from my throat as I arched my back and exploded in ecstasy, shooting strings of cum over my stomach and thigh. I continued stroking myself until it became irritating rather than pleasurable. I felt completely spent. It was the best orgasm I had ever experienced.

I began to weep quite suddenly, not only for the experiences I would never know with Lily, but also because I had crossed the point of no return with this act. I felt as if I were alive again, and I did not know how to close myself off from the world now that I had reawakened. I suspected that actually living life was going to be more painful that any torture the Dark Lord had inflicted on me... or that I had inflicted on myself.

I spent the rest of the weekend lying in bed and feeling sorry for myself. It was not an auspicious beginning to my second life.