Once in a Blue Moon (COMPLETE)

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You’re Not Alone
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Sirius wondered how long it would be before his mother found out about the red and gold banner that was now adorning his bedroom wall. The initial burst of bravery had long since vanished and the fear of what was almost certain to be an ugly scene was now preying on his mind.

Thankfully Walburga Black rarely looked into her sons’ rooms, at least not since finding the cockatrice under Regulus’s bed. On the one hand this meant that she might not see the banner until after he’d returned to school. On the other, it meant that he had the whole summer to worry about what her reaction was going to be.

“Sirius,” Regulus called through the door the following morning. “Grandfather Pollux and Grandmother Irma are here. Mother wants us down in the parlour right now.”

Sirius groaned, having been hoping that perhaps they might have cancelled at the last minute.

“Sirius! Hurry up! You can’t make me go down and face them alone!”

“I’m coming!” Sirius called back as he hurriedly finished the entry he was making in his journal. He then tucked the journal away in his trunk before following the equally reluctant Regulus down the stairs.

“It’s about time,” snapped their father, Orion, the moment they walked into the parlour.

“Sorry father,” the boys murmured before turning to greet their grandparents.

“You’ve not grown much,” Irma commented as she swept a critical glance over Regulus. “Looking rather the runt,” she said to Walburga who nodded in agreement.

“And what about you?” Pollux asked as he looked at Sirius through cold grey eyes. “They feeding you properly at that school?”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius replied with an obedient nod.

“With your brother being what he is, it’ll be up to you to make sure that the Black line remains as strong as it is.” He turned to Orion; “you got a wife in mind for him yet?”

“We’re in talks with a couple of families,” Orion confirmed. “Plenty of time to sort out the details later. With the changing politics these days, we’d rather not commit ourselves just yet.”

“Quite right,” Pollux replied, nodding thoughtfully. “You can never tell what’s going to happen in a family. Look at the Lupins, three generations ago they were one of the most powerful pureblood families. Now, well it’s no wonder they rarely show their faces in society.”

Sirius felt his ears perk up at the name Lupin. Was it Remus and Romulus’s family that his grandfather was talking about?

Remus had never answered his question about why he lived with his brother instead of his parents. Sirius had assumed they were dead and hadn’t liked to bring it up again. He had never really considered the rest of their family, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Was it Remus’s grandparents that his grandfather was talking about?

Sirius opened his mouth to ask, but the sound of the front door banging distracted him from his purpose.

“Where are my favourite nephews?” boomed the unexpected but very welcome voice.

“Through here Alphard,” Pollux called.

“There you are!” Uncle Alphard declared as he pulled Sirius and Regulus to him and hugged them both.

“Really Alphard,” Walburga sighed, “is that really necessary?”

“No harm in showing my favourite nephews a bit of affection,” Alphard said as he ruffled Regulus’s hair.

“They’re your only nephews and it’s quite vulgar,” Walburga snapped. “Kreacher!”

The house elf appeared at her call and gave a sweeping bow. “Mistress?”

“Set an extra place for lunch,” Walburga ordered. “We have an extra, uninvited, guest.”

“I can always eat at the Leaky Cauldron, if it’s too much trouble,” Alphard offered, even as Sirius and Regulus shook their heads at the very idea.

“It’s no trouble at all,” Walburga replied in a tone that clearly conveyed that it was in fact a great deal of trouble.

“Well if you’re sure,” Alphard said as he dropped easily into a chair. “So Sirius, I hear you got sorted into Gryffindor, what’s it like in the tower? I always wanted to know.”

Sirius cast a nervous glance at his parents and grandparents, none of whom seemed thrilled at being reminded of the embarrassing result of the Sorting Ceremony. Thankfully he was saved from having to say anything by his uncle sensing the tension in the room and tactfully changing the subject.

“You’ll have to tell me later,” he whispered to Sirius with a wink.

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Remus looked at the blank sheet of parchment in front of him and wished that he knew what to write. He knew that Sirius wanted to know why he couldn’t speak to him this evening, and would want an explanation when they next spoke. He knew he wasn’t the greatest liar when face to face with another person, and he suspected that even through the mirrors, Sirius would be able to tell when he spoke a falsehood. So he’d decided to give his excuse in a letter. Romulus would be at work until late and all Remus had to do was send the letter from the Hogsmeade Post Office and get home before his brother returned.

If only he knew what to say.

“Dear Sirius. Sorry I can’t talk tonight. Only it’s the full moon and I turn into a werewolf.” Remus threw his quill across the room in a temper.

The lies just weren’t coming to him as easily as he would have liked. He’d known Sirius for a year now and the longer he knew him the harder it was to hide the truth from him. He knew that things could have been a lot harder than they were if Sirius had been more persistent in his questioning. But he seemed to accept the ‘I can’t tell you’ reason relatively easily and it was a simple truth that prevented him telling a multitude of lies.

The only problem was that the closer they became, the weaker ‘I can’t tell you’ sounded.

Remus looked at the mirror on the bedside table and tried to recall what time the moon would be rising that night. It was one of the many things Romulus tried to get him to learn but Remus was sure that it was the one thing he didn’t need to learn. He could tell when the moon was rising, the wolf could tell, it could feel it coming hours beforehand and Remus didn’t need to memorise the dates and times to feel it himself.

Remus looked out the window as he considered things, it was summer and the days were longer, perhaps he could still talk to Sirius after all. It would be a short conversation, but some of them were, particularly when Romulus had the night off.

Just a quick hello and a chat…what harm could it do?

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Sirius played with his food as the dinner conversation dragged on and on.

Politics had been the topic of discussion during the starters. Then during the main course it had moved on to work and the usual complaints about how muggleborns were infiltrating wizarding society. By the time dessert was served gossip, mostly malicious, was the focus.

“May I please be excused?” Sirius finally asked.

“Me too?” Regulus asked.

Orion waved them away from the table without pausing in his recounting of the rumour that Medea Malfoy had eloped with a muggleborn.

“Can happen in the best of families,” Pollux said as Sirius pushed back from the table and ushered his brother towards of the door.

“If it happened in this family I’d disown my son even if he were the last of the line,” Walburga declared, shooting a glare at Sirius.

“I think I’ll go chat with the boys,” Alphard said as he patted his ample stomach and followed Sirius and Regulus out of the room.

“So what’s been happening that you don’t want your parents to hear about?” Alphard asked with a wink as they sat down in the study.

“Not much,” Regulus replied. “I put some imps in the laundry.”

Alphard chuckled at the idea and Sirius grinned, knowing that their uncle thought Regulus’s antics to be highly amusing and was thrilled that his Christmas present to his nephew was being so well used.

“And have you managed any magic yet?” Alphard asked gently.

Regulus flushed and shook his head sadly. “Face it uncle, I’m a useless squib.”

“Squibs aren’t useless,” Alphard said with a kind smile. “And you still have another year before you’ll be going to Hogwarts. You’re just a late bloomer.”

“I won’t be going to Hogwarts,” Regulus muttered and Sirius could hear the faintest trace of bitterness in his voice just as clearly as he could see the sheen of unshed tears in his eyes.

Sirius felt a twinge of guilt over all the times he’d thought badly about his brother. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t do magic yet, but they both knew that their parents were beginning to worry about his lack of powers.

Unfortunately Regulus seemed to make up for his lack of magical abilities by agreeing with their parents in everything they said, despising muggleborns as vocally as they did. Already the cruel streak that seemed to be hidden within all the Blacks was starting to show through in the ten year old boy.

“And what about you Sirius?”

Sirius turned to his uncle questioningly, pulled from his musings about his younger sibling.

“Made any friends at school?”

“Not really,” Sirius said with an uneasy shrug.

“Why ever not?” Alphard asked in surprise.

“I got sorted into Gryffindor, didn’t I?” Sirius muttered.

“It shouldn’t matter which house you got sorted in,” Alphard said. “I was always kind of jealous of the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor kids myself. Getting to look down on all the rest of us from their towers.”

“The other Gryffindors think I should have been in Slytherin,” Sirius explained and soon the story of the whole miserable mess was tumbling from his lips. The only thing he left out was the identity of his friend in Hogsmeade.

“Oh Sirius lad,” Alphard said when he’d finally stopped talking. “Why didn’t you write to me and tell me any of this?”

Sirius shrugged.

“Tell you what, we’ll go shopping for new robes for you before you start back next term. Red and gold just like the rest of the Gryffindors. How about that?”

“Mother won’t like it,” Sirius said.

“We won’t tell her then,” Alphard said with a wink. “It’ll be our little secret.”

Sirius nodded and felt the beginnings of a smile forming.

“And what about you Reg? You want to join us?”

Regulus nodded eagerly. “Can we visit Eeylops?”

“I don’t think your mother will let you have your own owl until you’re at school,” Alphard warned.

“Guess I’ll never get one then,” Regulus muttered. “I only wanted to visit to see them.”

“Well just a visit,” Alphard conceded. “Now who’s for a game of exploding snap whilst the stuffed shirts through there are busy with their gossip?”

Sirius grinned and hurried to his room to dig out a pack of cards. He had just found the set when he heard the sound of a familiar voice calling out to him.

“Remus!” he grinned as he picked up the mirror. “I thought you couldn’t speak tonight?”

“I can’t talk for long,” Remus replied.

“Me neither,” Sirius explained. “My uncle Alphard is waiting for me downstairs.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow then,” Remus suggested with a smile. “You don’t want to keep your insane relatives waiting.”

“Uncle Alphard’s not like the rest of them,” Sirius replied. “He’s out of the country most of the time though so we only get to see him once a year, sometimes even less.”

“Too bad.”

“But he’s in London for the whole summer,” Sirius grinned. “And he’s going to buy me some new school robes in the Gryffindor colours.”

“That’s great!”

“It’s brilliant! It means I won’t have to ask my mother for them at all.” Sirius wiped his hand across the forehead in a gesture of relief. “I’d better get downstairs though. Talk to you tomorrow.”

Remus nodded in the mirror and gave a small wave. Then the mirror was just a regular mirror once again.

Back in the study the two brothers played cards with their uncle for several hours and Sirius wondered if the rest of the family had even remembered they were around. Not that he was complaining at all.

By midnight Regulus was yawning widely and Sirius could tell that if it weren’t for the explosions of the cards he’d have fallen asleep in his chair hours ago. Sirius on the other hand was wide-awake and determined not to miss a single minute of his favourite uncle’s visit.

“You boys should be heading up to bed,” Alphard finally said as he put the remaining cards back into the box. “Don’t want to get on the wrong side of your mother for keeping you up to late.” He gave an exaggerated shudder at the idea of his sister on the warpath, causing both Sirius and Regulus to laugh.

“I am a bit tired,” Regulus admitted as he stood up, stretched and stumbled towards the door.

“I’ll come up in a minute,” Sirius told him. His uncle looked at him questioningly and Sirius explained that there was something he wanted to ask him. Regulus looked at him curiously but Sirius knew he couldn’t ask what he wanted in front of his brother.

“Something else on your mind lad?” Alphard asked as he passed him the pack of cards.

“I wanted to ask if you’d ever heard of the Lupins?” Sirius asked quietly. “Grandfather mentioned them earlier and…well I just wondered why I hadn’t heard of them before.”

“The Lupins eh?” Alphard looked a little startled but quickly recovered. “Well there are a few branches of that family.”

“Grandfather said they never go into society,” Sirius added.

“Hmm, well that narrows it down. That’ll be the ones who were in the middle of that scandal from oh…getting on for, well it must be six years now. Yes, six years. I was out of the country at the time but it was still the talk of London when I returned.”

“What was the talk of London?” Sirius asked as he wondered if he was finally going to get the answers to the questions that were plaguing his mind about the two brothers he’d befriended.

“Well no one really knows what happened, it was all hushed up. Though there were all sorts of rumours doing the rounds. I don’t like to repeat them and since I don’t know the truth I won’t go into them. But the Lupins had two sons and they just upped and disappeared into the night that summer. Never seen again.”

“No one knows what happened to them?”

“Well someone must know where they are,” Alphard pointed out. “Though there are stories that they died. At least that’s what the pompous asses at the Ministry tell the public rather than admit that two underage wizards managed to give ‘em the slip for so long.”

“Do you think they’re dead?”

“Couldn’t rightly say,” Alphard replied. “I never knew the Lupins or their boys. But I’ll say this, if even half of those rumours are true they’d be better off dead than in the hands of the Ministry of Magic.”

Sirius nodded solemnly and wished he could ask what those rumours were. “What were the boys names?” he asked, hoping he sounded casually curious and nothing more.

“Romulus and Remus,” Alphard replied immediately. “Easy names to remember those; their mother said she’d named them for the founders of Rome, she’s Italian you see.”

“Really?” Sirius asked in surprise.

“Oh yes,” Alphard nodded. “Used to be seen at all the wizarding society functions in the latest Italian fashions. When your mother was younger she used to be rather jealous of her wardrobe, not to mention the way all the young wizards used to throw themselves at her. Never saw her as a fashion icon myself, she had the most hideous collection of hats I’ve ever seen.”

Sirius wondered what the rumours that had circulated about the Lupin family were as he tossed and turned in bed that night. He tried to contact Remus by the mirror but there was no sign of the other boy appearing in the looking glass. More than anything he wanted to know what could have happened to cause the two brothers to run away from home; what would cause an underage wizard to go on the run with a six year old boy? Why would the Ministry of Magic want them so badly? What could make his kindly uncle believe that the two boys would be better off dead than found?

He also wondered why it was that they had remained in wizarding society rather than hide in muggle society without using magic.

Somehow he felt that he should know the answers to all the questions that were running through his mind, keeping him awake. There was a simple explanation, something clear and obvious, but each time he tried to focus on figuring out the mystery he felt the truth slipping through his fingers and he was as in the dark as he had been for the last year.

Finally he gave up on sleep and pulled out his journal to write down his thoughts, hoping they might make more sense when down on paper.

They didn’t and Sirius finally fell asleep at the desk, the full moon shining through his window on the sleeping boy and the solitary Gryffindor banner on the opposite wall.

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“It was a tough one last night, wasn’t it?” Romulus said as he carried Remus up the stairs towards the ground floor room that was Remus’s bedroom. As his brother grew older and heavier, Romulus felt relieved that he’d won the argument about which room would be Remus’s. He didn’t think he could manage more than one flight of stairs.

“I can walk,” Remus muttered weakly.

“Don’t be silly,” Romulus chided. “You legs are all cut up this month. You’ll get blood all over the stairs.”

“I’ll clean it up,” Remus replied.

“There’s no need,” Romulus replied as he placed Remus on his bed and set about the monthly task of healing the many self-inflicted wounds that Moony inflicted on his brother on the nights of the full moon.

“Moony’s getting restless,” Remus sighed. “It’s getting worse as we get older.”

“The books said that might be the case,” Romulus agreed.

“The sheets are covered in blood,” Remus commented in a voice that was barely more than a whisper.

“I’ve got fresh ones here.”

“I’m so tired,” Remus whispered.

“Of course you are, you’ve been up all night.”

“Tired of lying too,” Remus murmured as Romulus helped him to a chair while he changed the bedding.

“I know you are,” Romulus said with a sad smile. “But you know why we have to do this. You know what’s at stake here. We can’t trust anyone.”

“Sirius won’t tell anyone,” Remus argued sleepily. “He’s my friend.”

“It doesn’t matter if he is,” Romulus insisted with a shake of his head. “You can’t trust him with this secret, you can’t trust anyone. They won’t understand, no one will. Even if you think you know them well enough to trust them, even if you think they love you…it doesn’t mean they’ll accept Moony as well.”

“I know,” Remus said as he crawled into bed. “No one can love a monster. I’m sorry I’m a monster Rom. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not a monster,” Romulus said firmly as he brushed Remus’s hair from his eyes and tucked him into bed. But Remus was no longer listening as sleep had claimed him at last.

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Sirius entered Diagon Alley with his Uncle Alphard and Regulus on a day shortly before the end of the holidays. He had his Hogwarts letter in his pocket and felt relieved that this term he’d at least have the right robes and books when he arrived back at school.

“Madam Malkins first,” Alphard said with a smile. “We’ll get you measured up and collect them tomorrow.”

Sirius grinned at the reminder that the three of them were staying in the Leaky Cauldron overnight. The grin soon disappeared though when he caught sight of James Potter and his mother inside the clothing store.

“Come on Sirius,” Alphard said. “I thought you wanted new robes.”

Sirius took a deep breath and followed his uncle through the door. He tried to ignore James who was sitting on a stool waiting for his turn.

“Sirius,” James said in a slightly less cold voice than he usually used when speaking to him. Sirius looked up and saw Mrs Potter jabbing her son on the arm in silent encouragement.

“James,” Sirius replied, the name strange on his tongue because he always referred to him as Potter.

“This a friend from school?” Alphard asked with a grin.

“Not really,” Sirius muttered. “This is James Potter.” He made sure to emphasise the surname and Alphard nodded as he recalled what Sirius had said about the boy earlier that summer.

“Well, I’m sure he’s looking forward to going back to school as much as you are,” Alphard said with a wink at Mrs Potter who Sirius could see immediately knew what his uncle’s game was and was happy to go along with it.

“Who says I’m looking forward to going back?” Sirius muttered, knowing that it was a lie since he’d been practising his spells all summer and finally felt that he was going to be able to keep up with the rest of the class. Not to mention he was determined to find a way to visit Remus again.

“Don’t be rude Sirius,” Alphard scolded. “Or I may just change my mind about the robes and buy you the same ones as you had last year.”

“That’s blackmail!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Yes it is, isn’t it?” Alphard chuckled. “Ah Madam Malkin, looking as lovely as ever I see.” He turned to greet the owner of the store and planted a sloppy kiss on each of her cheeks. Sirius groaned as his uncle, a lifelong bachelor, began to flirt with the woman. He looked forward to the day when he could go and get his own school supplies without having to suffer embarrassing displays from his family.

He risked a glance at Regulus who had two fingers in his mouth and was miming vomiting. He felt his lips twitch and turned away before he burst out laughing. On the other side of him James was looking equally amused. For a moment their eyes caught in shared mirth before they seemed to remember who they were with and looked away rapidly.

“Gryffindor robes, that’s right,” Alphard said. “The best you’ve got.”

“So you didn’t get put in Slytherin,” Madam Malkin commented and Sirius felt his face flushing. “I hope your mother wasn’t too disappointed.”

Sirius snorted.

“She sent a howler to Dumbledore,” James piped up.

“Oh dear.” Madam Malkin shook her head sadly. “Well let’s get you the proper Gryffindor colours for this year.” She gestured to the box and Sirius climbed up on it so she could take the measurements required.

“Do you need to collect them today?” Madam Malkin asked cautiously. Sirius realised that his mother must have made quite an impression on the woman for her to remember as much as she did about his last visit to the shop.

“No, no,” Alphard assured her. “Just send a message to the Leaky Cauldron when they’re ready. We’ll be there until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Very good,” Madam Malkin replied as she made a note of the instructions.

Sirius was nearly out of the door when Alphard called him back. “Well aren’t you going to say goodbye to your friend?”

“What?” Sirius asked, for a moment wondering who his uncle was referring to.

“James,” Alphard said with a gesture to where the other boy was trying on the robes that he’d been waiting for. “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to him?”

“Oh right,” Sirius muttered. “Bye James.”

“Bye,” James replied, at least that was what Sirius thought the other boy had said, he was mumbling so quietly it was difficult to say for sure.

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Sirius didn’t see anyone else from school during the next two days. Of course the one face he wanted to see more than any other was that of Remus who was miles away in Hogsmeade.

Still there were only a few more days left of the holidays, he had two fine sets of robes in the Gryffindor colours and all the correct school books. He’d even read ahead in a few of them so that he was sure he wouldn’t be falling behind as soon as he started back. He knew that as long as Potter and Pettigrew laid off him he could keep up with the work and would no longer be bottom of nearly all his classes.

He had a spark of hope that his second year at Hogwarts might be better than the first had been.

“Well I’ll leave you to go pack your things,” Alphard said as he left his nephews on the doorstep of number 12. “And try not to upset your mother too much with that stuff from Gambol and Japes,” he told Regulus with a wink.

Regulus grinned widely as he hid the more incriminating items in Sirius’s new cauldron until he reached his own room.

“Boys! Is that you?” Orion Black called through from the parlour.

“Yes sir,” Sirius called back.

“Is there something you’d like to tell us?” Orion asked as Sirius poked his head round the door.

“Um…” Sirius wracked his brain for what it was that was being hinted at by his father. Clearly he’d done something but what was it?

“In your room,” Walburga hissed from behind her husband.

“Oh,” Sirius felt his face flushing. He’d forgotten all about the banner he’d put up, after the first few days of wondering when it would be spotted he’d pushed it from his mind. He wondered which of his parents had been into his room and why. Then he spotted, lurking in the shadows, Kreacher.

“Well?” Walburga asked.

“Hateful elf,” Sirius snapped. “It’s only a banner!”

“Don’t speak to your mother like that,” Orion ordered.

“Kreacher had every right to tell me what you’d done,” Walburga stated coldly. “And it’s not just a banner, it’s a Gryffindor banner and it won’t come down!”

“I used a permanent sticking charm on it.”

“I am well aware of that,” Walburga snapped. “Go to your room and stay there for the rest of the day whilst you think about your actions.”

Sirius shrugged, as punishments went it wasn’t so bad. He spent most of his time in his room anyway.

“And you’d better have found a way to remove that banner by tomorrow morning,” Walburga called up the stairs after him. She didn’t add the words ‘or else’ to her sentence, but Sirius could hear them as clearly as if she had.

He put his new belongings on his bed and picked up the two way mirror. “Remus?” he called.

A moment later Remus appeared in the mirror.

“Hi! How was Diagon Alley?” Remus asked with a grin. “Get anything nice?”

“It was great but I got home to find that Kreacher told mother about the banner I put up. Do you know how to remove permanent sticking charms?”

“Er…I don’t think you can,” Remus replied. “That’s why they’re called permanent.”

Sirius sighed and felt relieved that at least the holidays were nearing their end. Maybe by the end of term his parents would have forgotten about the banner.