Somewhere

wow you lucky lucky people!
look how fast i got this one done!
all in between breaks of dancing on ice.... yeah about that....
any who.... i've started on the next one aswell but i'm back at college tommorrow so you might not get that one as quickly...
hope you enjoy it :D

DON'T FORGET I HAVE A MAILING LIST. JUST LEAVE YOUR E-MAIL ADDY IN YOUR COMMENT


-----------------------x-------------------------


“Faster, harder. I can take it,” he panted.

“Don’t push yourself to hard,” came the reply.

“I can handle it, I’m a big boy now, remember!” he said with a grin as the sword whipped towards him again. With a quick step to the side he dodged the blow and moved in to make a strike of his own. Sweat dripped down his neck and his hair was stuck to his face. He’d let it grow over the last year and now it reached the middle of his back. Normally he kept it bound, but during their sparring it had come loose and now flowed freely around him as he moved.

“Well if you think you can handle it, who am I to refuse?” the other man replied with a slight smile as he redoubled his efforts. The end of his sword flashed this way and that, trying to find a way past the young man’s defences, only to be blocked each time. Finally they both struck each others swords with such ferocity, that the impact caused them to drop their weapons. The younger man yelped as the hilt of his sword hit him on the toe, leaving him hopping round the basement, clutching his throbbing foot. A snort from the other side of the room alerted him to the other man once more.

“What are you laughing at?” he scowled.

“You, prancing around like a new born colt,” he replied with a smirk.

“I am not prancing, I’m hopping and it’s because that sodding sword fell on my FUCKING TOE!” he shouted.

“There’s no need to yell,” replied Severus. Pointing his wand at Harry’s foot he muttered something under his breath and suddenly the pain was gone.

“What did you do?”

“It was a simple pain relieving spell designed for minor injuries,” he said, stressing the end just a little.

“THAT WAS NOT MINOR!!” Harry shouted. Turning around he made to storm off, only to trip over his discarded sword, landing in an undignified heap on the floor.

“Fuck.”

A deep, rich laugh suddenly filled the room, echoing off the walls. Rolling onto his back he stared at the other man in disbelief. This was the man that he’d never even seen smile fully, let alone laugh, but there he was lent against the far wall laughing, albeit at Harry’s misfortune, but laughing all the same. When he finally stopped he looked at Harry and pushing himself away from the wall he offered a hand to help him up.

“Close your mouth you look like a fish,” he snorted.

“But… you… you laughed!”

“Observant aren’t you. Did you think I was incapable of laughing?” he asked with a smirk.

“No, it’s just… I’ve never even seen you smile properly.”

“Just because you’ve never seen something does not mean that it can never happen. Before you came to Hogwarts did you ever think that unicorns were real or that you could kill a man with a single word? Do not dismiss things so easily.”

“Your right. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,” he said dusting himself off.

“Apology accepted. Now that the amateur dramatics are over however, shall we continue?” he asked with a raised brow and a smug smirk.

“You just can’t help yourself can you? You love to torment me. I can see this is going to be a long holiday,” he replied walking over to pick up his sword. It had been nearly two weeks since he’d got here and they’d first started training and he was already beginning to feel the effects. He was starting to fill out again, what with all the meals he’d been eating, plus his muscles were becoming more defined, thanks to his training and helped along by Severus’ nutrition potions to help combat any underlying problems caused by his earlier malnutrition. The scar on his back would always be there but true to his word, the salve that Severus had repeatedly put on it during the first two days had healed it by the end of their third night and the scar wasn’t all that bad. He still had nightmares and twice he’d woken Severus with his screams. He hadn’t stopped cutting himself either. He knew he shouldn’t do it but he couldn’t stop. It was like a physical outlet for the pain he felt inside himself. It meant that he didn’t break down completely. The first few, small and shallow, were healed now, thin brownish lines that marred his skin. Along side these were newer ones, some partly healed and some like the ones from this morning along just starting to clot, red and raw, much deeper than before. So far he’d managed to keep them clean, hidden and under control and they’d passed by unnoticed by Severus.

“Come on then, into position. This time attack more instead of just defending,” Severus said as he readied himself.

“Whatever you say,” he said a split second before he charged the older man, his sword aiming for his middle.

They sparred for some time, dancing around each other, dashing in to attack, retreating to block and parry. Finally Harry moved in to end it but tripped in the process. Seeing him start to fall Severus automatically reached out and grabbed him by the wrist to stop him, only to let go at Harry’s sharp yelp of pain. The younger man hit the floor with a thud, his arm clutched to his chest, teeth gritted against the sharp stab of pain that had torn through him. He could feel a warm stickiness starting to seep through the bandage and he knew that the cuts from this morning had reopened. Severus dropped to his knees in front of him, concern evident on his face, thinking he’d hurt him in some way.

“Are you alright?” he asked, “let me have a look.”

“No! It’s ok, honestly. It’s nothing,” he said quickly, unable to look the other man in the eye.

“Harry. What’s wrong? What are you hiding from me? Let me have a look… please,” he said gently.

“No, please don’t. Just leave it.”

“Harry if there is something wrong you can tell me. I will do everything in my power to help you.”

Looking at the sincerity in the other mans eyes he gingerly held out his arm and pulled back his sleeve to reveal old scars and the bandage, its crisp whiteness spoiled by a red patch that spread as they watched. He was surprised by how quickly it spread, amazed there could be that much blood and as he watched his head felt a little light.

“You stupid, stupid boy! Why didn’t you come to me? I could have helped you! Anything would have been better than this Harry,” he growled, his voice filled with anger, frustration and worry and there was something else as well, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why did you do it?”

“I needed it. The pain made me realise I was still alive,” he whispered, all the time staring at the floor as the tears began to form, slowly creeping down his nose to land on his leg, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh Harry,” he said pulling the younger man into his arms, simply holding him as he cried, acting as a force to ground him. When the sobs finally died down he pushed him back a little and holding his chin looked him in the eyes as he wiped the tears away with his sleeve.

“You have to talk to me Harry.”

“Ok.”

“Promise me you’ll stop cutting yourself as well.”

“I’ll try, I promise.”

“Come on, we’re done here. Let’s go talk.”

Getting to his feet he pulled Harry up with him. With a quick spell he healed the cuts and led him upstairs to the living room where he sat him on the couch. When he made to move away Harry whimpered and clutched at his hand, begging him to stay. So there they sat, Harry lent against him, his arms wrapped around the trembling young man as he recounted his past. He listened as Harry told him everything, from living in the cupboard under the stairs for the first eleven years of his life, then how when he came to Hogwarts he was regularly beaten and half starved during the holidays. His perception of Harry changed once more. He knew that he’d had a hard time, much different to his first idea of a pampered and privileged child, spoilt by relatives who loved him and catered for his every whim, a boy wonder, adored by all, but this, this was something he’d never thought of. By the end he wanted to bring Dursley back from the dead just so he could deal with the repulsive man properly this time. When Harry had finished he looked up at Severus and smiled ever so slightly.

“Thank you. No one has ever just listened to me before. You were right though. I do feel better now someone knows. It’s like a weight’s been lifted.”

“It’ll take time before you really feel comfortable but don’t worry. Things will turn out alright.”

“I know,” he mumbled. It was strange. After all that had happened he never thought he’d feel this comfortable next to another man again, not even Severus, the secret man of his dreams and fantasies, but here he was wrapped in arms that made him feel warm and safe. He could feel the heat radiating from the body next to his and it made him feel whole, loved. It didn’t matter that the feeling wasn’t mutual, he just enjoyed it while he had it, so he didn’t notice when his eyelids grew heavy or when he finally fell asleep or when those same strong arms lifted him up and carried him to his bed. He certainly didn’t remember the way he whimpered when the warmth of that body started to pull away or how he clutched at it like a lifeline, how the source of the warmth slipped into the bed beside him where he snuggled nearer and how those arms pulled him closer. He didn’t remember any of it. Well not tonight anyway.


-------------------------x----------------------


well..... R+R please!

TO MY REVIEWERS *I LUB YOU ALL!*
“Don’t push yourself to hard,” came the reply.

“I can handle it, I’m a big boy now, remember!” he said with a grin as the sword whipped towards him again. With a quick step to the side he dodged the blow and moved in to make a strike of his own. Sweat dripped down his neck and his hair was stuck to his face. He’d let it grow over the last year and now it reached the middle of his back. Normally he kept it bound, but during their sparring it had come loose and now flowed freely around him as he moved.

“Well if you think you can handle it, who am I to refuse?” the other man replied with a slight smile as he redoubled his efforts. The end of his sword flashed this way and that, trying to find a way past the young man’s defences, only to be blocked each time. Finally they both struck each others swords with such ferocity, that the impact caused them to drop their weapons. The younger man yelped as the hilt of his sword hit him on the toe, leaving him hopping round the basement, clutching his throbbing foot. A snort from the other side of the room alerted him to the other man once more.

“What are you laughing at?” he scowled.

“You, prancing around like a new born colt,” he replied with a smirk.

“I am not prancing, I’m hopping and it’s because that sodding sword fell on my FUCKING TOE!” he shouted.

“There’s no need to yell,” replied Severus. Pointing his wand at Harry’s foot he muttered something under his breath and suddenly the pain was gone.

“What did you do?”

“It was a simple pain relieving spell designed for minor injuries,” he said, stressing the end just a little.

“THAT WAS NOT MINOR!!” Harry shouted. Turning around he made to storm off, only to trip over his discarded sword, landing in an undignified heap on the floor.

“Fuck.”

A deep, rich laugh suddenly filled the room, echoing off the walls. Rolling onto his back he stared at the other man in disbelief. This was the man that he’d never even seen smile fully, let alone laugh, but there he was lent against the far wall laughing, albeit at Harry’s misfortune, but laughing all the same. When he finally stopped he looked at Harry and pushing himself away from the wall he offered a hand to help him up.

“Close your mouth you look like a fish,” he snorted.

“But… you… you laughed!”

“Observant aren’t you. Did you think I was incapable of laughing?” he asked with a smirk.

“No, it’s just… I’ve never even seen you smile properly.”

“Just because you’ve never seen something does not mean that it can never happen. Before you came to Hogwarts did you ever think that unicorns were real or that you could kill a man with a single word? Do not dismiss things so easily.”

“Your right. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,” he said dusting himself off.

“Apology accepted. Now that the amateur dramatics are over however, shall we continue?” he asked with a raised brow and a smug smirk.

“You just can’t help yourself can you? You love to torment me. I can see this is going to be a long holiday,” he replied walking over to pick up his sword. It had been nearly two weeks since he’d got here and they’d first started training and he was already beginning to feel the effects. He was starting to fill out again, what with all the meals he’d been eating, plus his muscles were becoming more defined, thanks to his training and helped along by Severus’ nutrition potions to help combat any underlying problems caused by his earlier malnutrition. The scar on his back would always be there but true to his word, the salve that Severus had repeatedly put on it during the first two days had healed it by the end of their third night and the scar wasn’t all that bad. He still had nightmares and twice he’d woken Severus with his screams. He hadn’t stopped cutting himself either. He knew he shouldn’t do it but he couldn’t stop. It was like a physical outlet for the pain he felt inside himself. It meant that he didn’t break down completely. The first few, small and shallow, were healed now, thin brownish lines that marred his skin. Along side these were newer ones, some partly healed and some like the ones from this morning along just starting to clot, red and raw, much deeper than before. So far he’d managed to keep them clean, hidden and under control and they’d passed by unnoticed by Severus.

“Come on then, into position. This time attack more instead of just defending,” Severus said as he readied himself.

“Whatever you say,” he said a split second before he charged the older man, his sword aiming for his middle.

They sparred for some time, dancing around each other, dashing in to attack, retreating to block and parry. Finally Harry moved in to end it but tripped in the process. Seeing him start to fall Severus automatically reached out and grabbed him by the wrist to stop him, only to let go at Harry’s sharp yelp of pain. The younger man hit the floor with a thud, his arm clutched to his chest, teeth gritted against the sharp stab of pain that had torn through him. He could feel a warm stickiness starting to seep through the bandage and he knew that the cuts from this morning had reopened. Severus dropped to his knees in front of him, concern evident on his face, thinking he’d hurt him in some way.

“Are you alright?” he asked, “let me have a look.”

“No! It’s ok, honestly. It’s nothing,” he said quickly, unable to look the other man in the eye.

“Harry. What’s wrong? What are you hiding from me? Let me have a look… please,” he said gently.

“No, please don’t. Just leave it.”

“Harry if there is something wrong you can tell me. I will do everything in my power to help you.”

Looking at the sincerity in the other mans eyes he gingerly held out his arm and pulled back his sleeve to reveal old scars and the bandage, its crisp whiteness spoiled by a red patch that spread as they watched. He was surprised by how quickly it spread, amazed there could be that much blood and as he watched his head felt a little light.

“You stupid, stupid boy! Why didn’t you come to me? I could have helped you! Anything would have been better than this Harry,” he growled, his voice filled with anger, frustration and worry and there was something else as well, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why did you do it?”

“I needed it. The pain made me realise I was still alive,” he whispered, all the time staring at the floor as the tears began to form, slowly creeping down his nose to land on his leg, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh Harry,” he said pulling the younger man into his arms, simply holding him as he cried, acting as a force to ground him. When the sobs finally died down he pushed him back a little and holding his chin looked him in the eyes as he wiped the tears away with his sleeve.

“You have to talk to me Harry.”

“Ok.”

“Promise me you’ll stop cutting yourself as well.”

“I’ll try, I promise.”

“Come on, we’re done here. Let’s go talk.”

Getting to his feet he pulled Harry up with him. With a quick spell he healed the cuts and led him upstairs to the living room where he sat him on the couch. When he made to move away Harry whimpered and clutched at his hand, begging him to stay. So there they sat, Harry lent against him, his arms wrapped around the trembling young man as he recounted his past. He listened as Harry told him everything, from living in the cupboard under the stairs for the first eleven years of his life, then how when he came to Hogwarts he was regularly beaten and half starved during the holidays. His perception of Harry changed once more. He knew that he’d had a hard time, much different to his first idea of a pampered and privileged child, spoilt by relatives who loved him and catered for his every whim, a boy wonder, adored by all, but this, this was something he’d never thought of. By the end he wanted to bring Dursley back from the dead just so he could deal with the repulsive man properly this time. When Harry had finished he looked up at Severus and smiled ever so slightly.

“Thank you. No one has ever just listened to me before. You were right though. I do feel better now someone knows. It’s like a weight’s been lifted.”

“It’ll take time before you really feel comfortable but don’t worry. Things will turn out alright.”

“I know,” he mumbled. It was strange. After all that had happened he never thought he’d feel this comfortable next to another man again, not even Severus, the secret man of his dreams and fantasies, but here he was wrapped in arms that made him feel warm and safe. He could feel the heat radiating from the body next to his and it made him feel whole, loved. It didn’t matter that the feeling wasn’t mutual, he just enjoyed it while he had it, so he didn’t notice when his eyelids grew heavy or when he finally fell asleep or when those same strong arms lifted him up and carried him to his bed. He certainly didn’t remember the way he whimpered when the warmth of that body started to pull away or how he clutched at it like a lifeline, how the source of the warmth slipped into the bed beside him where he snuggled nearer and how those arms pulled him closer. He didn’t remember any of it. Well not tonight anyway.

---------------------------x------------------------


TO MY REVIEWERS *I lub you all!*

helea -- creature... yeah... about that... maybe not creature but... soon... hopefully...

mis -- thankies for the hugs and kisses :D as for inheritance... soon

vyator -- i know you miss attacking me with 'ol red but call it payback for teasing me!

amanda rose -- thank you :D i'll try and keep updating this as fast as i can... at the min i'm into it so that should be a good sign

werewolf mistress -- your wish is my command... well actually your wish just happens to coincide with me getting this chapter done but... never mind

rubygal -- thanks for your comments. yeah sev will be a little out of character but i'm trying to keep him fairly natural... that may change later though when he gets loved up. yeah sirius is back, he's to good not to have back! not that i've actually written him into the story at all yet though... oh well. other than that stay tuned :D

I am completely over whelmed by the people that want to be added to the mailing list... so many! thankyou every one reviews make my day!! :D