The Proposal

*******************************************************************

A week later on a Thursday afternoon Harry met Seamus, Dean, Neville and Ron in the Leaky Cauldron before the final robe fitting for Neville and Hannah’s wedding on the Sunday. Harry was one of the groomsmen along with Ron, Seamus and Dean and after the fitting they would be starting the evening of celebrating the last few days of Neville’s bachelorhood. Neville looked very apprehensive as Harry and Ron joined him, Seamus and Dean in a booth at the Leaky Cauldron.

‘Why so worried mate? Ron joked ‘Robe fittings aren’t that bad’

‘It’s not the robe fittings I’m worried about’ Neville said eyeing Ron with suspicion ‘I’m worried about what you, Harry, Dean and Seamus are going to do to me’

‘Who said we were going to DO anything to you?’ Seamus with an evil grin ‘You’re too pessimistic Nev. Nah we’re just going out for a night of how did McGonagall say in our dancing lessons before the Triwizard Tournament Yule Ball in our fourth year? ‘Well mannered frivolity’

‘You’re full of leprechaun shit Finnigan’

Seamus laughed.

‘Well you do have the option of us casting a memory charm on you at the end of the night’ Harry said brightly ‘Then you won’t remember a second of it’

‘No way Harry I’ve seen the memory charms you do I do want to be more than a blob with a pulse when I walk down the aisle on Sunday Neville said sipping his Firewhiskey ‘Plus I think Hannah would murder you if you did that’

‘I wouldn’t do that to you Nev’ Harry joked ‘This is me your best bud your school dormitory pal’

The person who got me into my first ever detention at school’ Neville countered.

‘Nev that was eleven years ago loosen up!’ Dean said ‘We’re not going to do anything to or with you we wouldn’t expect you to do to or with us on our bucks night. Geez it’s almost like you don’t trust us!’

‘I don’t!’

*******************************************************************

Hours later Harry, Ron, Neville, Dean and Seamus arrived at ‘Tattoo You’ The muggle tattoo parlor Harry had told Ginny about duiring their night spent at Hogwarts.

‘Fuuuck oooorf I am NOT getting a tattoo!’ Neville who was pissed as an ant slurred ‘Hannah will murder me!’

‘Who gives a sch-it what Hannah think-sch mate!’ Ron said pulling Neville inside ‘I don’t give a sch-it what Hermione think-sch!’

‘You’re not about to get married!’ Neville whined ‘And what are we doing in a muggle tattoo parlor?’

‘Neville shut up!’ Harry hissed.

‘C’mon Neville you’ve had fun so far letcsh continue this on a bit’ Dean said ‘I fancy getting myself a tattoo. I brought a design with me’

‘You KNEW we were coming here?’ Neville exclaimed.

‘Yeah didn’t you?’ Ron said with a snort ‘C’mon Nev we’re not asking you to get a dragon on your back. Just something small. Like a snit-sch or somethng’

‘Would the bloke know what a snit-sch looks like?’ Neville hissed to Harry as they made a pretence of looking through a folder of tattoo designs ‘I sooo cannot believe I am doing thisch!’

‘So you’re going to get one? Harry said with a grin.

‘Yeah why not? You only live once’

‘That’s the spirit Nev they do body piercing too’ Harry added pointing to a nearby sign listing the various types of body piercing.

There was silence for a few seconds as Neville read the sign

‘They put bits of metal through your cock?’ He exclaimed is disbelief ‘Geez the things muggle-sch do’

‘I’ll get it done if you do’ Harry said with a laugh under his breath ‘I dare ya. Apparently it hurt-sch but you can casht a painkilling charm on yourself or take some painkilling potion when you get home. Ginny has loadsch back at the Burrow’

‘Harry I am not putting a piece of metal through my cock!’ Neville said drunkenly ‘I am getting married in three daysch! Hannah is going to noticesh I have an addition to my wang eventually!’

‘It’s put there to make sex-sch better you know’ Seamus said to them.

‘How the hell do y’know that?’ Neville said in surprise.

‘Mate my Dad’s a muggle he’s told me all about it’ Seamus said ‘Go on get it done give Hannah a real thrill’

Ron, Harry, and Dean fell about laughing.

‘Can I ‘elp you lads? A heavily tattooed thickset man wearing leather pants and a ‘Tattoo You’ polo shirt asked them.

‘Yeah I’ll go first’ Harry said ‘I want to get a Prince Albert and this tattoed on my left shoulder’

Harry handed the man a sheet of parchment with a design of a Golden Snitch with it’s wings spread.

‘Right y’are follow me we’ll get your piercing done first you lads right for the moment?’ The man said to Seamus, Dean, Ron and Neville.

‘Yeah we’ll order another four Prince Alberts!’ Seamus said with a grin ‘Bucks night’ he explained.

‘Ah a lads night out eh? Who’s the lucky man?’

‘Nev here’ Ron said elbowing Neville in the side ‘Sunday afternoon’

The man grinned.
‘Congratulations matey’ He said ‘Because you’re getting married we’ll swing ya a twenty percent discount'

‘Er thanksch’ Neville said as the man walked away 'Your generosity knows no bounds' He added in a whisper hat made Seamus snort with laughter.

*******************************************************************

Two hours later. Ron, Harry, Neville, Seamus and Dean left ‘Tattoo You’ and headed up Charing Cross Road.

‘I can’t believe I did that’ Neville slurred ‘I can’t believe I did that. I got a fugging ring thorugh my cock! Ohmigod!’

‘Well the tattoo parlour was Harry’s idea for the night. Seamus’s was the strip Club now it’s time to get pissed at the Leaky Cauldron! Dean’s part of the night’ Ron said with a girlish giggle.

‘Ron I am already pisched!’ Neville moaned ‘In fact I am the walking comatose! We all are! If I drink any more I will passch out and end up in St Mungosch!’

‘Lets try that theory out shall we?’ Ron said pulling Neville down a side alley where the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron was ‘First drink’s on me’

The group stumbled into the Leaky Cauldron took a private booth and ordered a bottle of Firewhiskey between them. Despite his earlier declariation of being nearly comatose under the urging of Ron, Harry, Dean and Seamus Neville grabbed the bottle and sucked on it like a lollipop the whole bottle gone within a minute.

‘Fuckin’ e’ll Neville you’ll ‘ave a job of getting’ ‘ome after tha’ Seamus slurred staring at Neville incredulously.

‘I feel like doing something recklessch!’ Neville declared suddenly sitting up.

‘Like what? Ron sniggered.

‘Streaking!’

Harry gawped at Neville.
‘You streak?’ He exclaimed incredulously ‘Neville you’re rancid and having issues putting one foot in front of the other at a walk!’ How the hell are you going to run?’

‘Watch me’

Neville waved his wand and his clothes disappeared he then leapt out of the booth held his arms above his head as to catch the attention of everyone in the bar then took off through the main bar and out the door. Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean roaring with laughter took off after him and followed him outside into Diagon Alley where he galloped past Flourish And Blotts in a drunken stumble. Before he reached the Daily Prophet offices Harry pointed his wand at him and cried ‘Occulto in extraho fimus!’(According to an English to Latin translator this means ‘Cover In Dragon Manure’).

Suddenly appearing out of nowhere great clods of dragon shit appeared and stuck to Neville’s skin but that didn’t stop his progress down Diagon Alley. He thundered past the Daily Prophet offices, Madam Malkin’s and his own Herbology shop and then did a spectacular cartwheel over a table in front of Florean Fortescue’s ice cream parlor. He then took off again in a drunken run toward Knockturn Alley.

‘Shit we bet’er get him before he goes down there' Ron said taking off Diagon Alley ‘Hannah will murder us if anything happens to him’

Before they lost sight of Neville, Ron, Harry, Seamus and Dean took off and thundered down Diagon Alley after him. They caught him right down near the apparition point just past 'Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes'. Harry pulled out his wand and transfigured a nearby pebble into a cloak.

‘Here put this on’ He said hurridley pushing the garment at Neville.

‘Harry I can’t believe you got Neville with the Dragon Dung Hex!’ Ron exclaimed staring at Harry incredulously.

‘I told Hermione last week I would’ Harry said with a gleeful snort.

'Neville Longbottom I can’t believe you schtreaked down Diagon Alley!’ Dean rushed clutching at a stitch in his side ‘Do you remember cartwheeling over a table in front of Fortescues? I’ve never seen you hop on one foot let alone cartwheel like a gymnast!’

Neville grinned then fell to the ground in a dead faint.

‘Fuck he did pass out and we’re going to have to get him to St Mungos!’ Seamus groaned ‘Shit what are we gonna do?, what are we gonna dooooo?'

There was silence as they all contemplated the situation.

‘Lets get him to George’s shop he may have some hangover potion’ Harry said hauling Neville up ‘Give us a hand will ya Ron?’

Ron took Neville’s arm and with difficulty hauled him up to the front steps of ‘Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes’ Harry lifted a fist and banged several times on the door. Ron waved his wand and pointed it upwards to the nearest window. There was a loud bang and the glass in the frame shattered all over the pavement below.

‘WHAT THE FUCK...!’ Came George’s bellowing voice his head pointing out of the window ‘WE’RE FUCKING CLO…oh Harry!’

‘Can you let us in Mate?’ Harry puffed Neville’s passed out’

‘How?’

‘Never mind just let us in! Quick hurry!’

George came galumphing downstairs with Angelina.

‘What the hell did you do to him? George asked incredulously pulling them through the door.

‘Took him out for a few drinks’ Ron said.

‘A few? Shit he looks dead!’ Angelina said in amusement ‘How long have you been going?’

‘Fourteen hours’ Dean volunteered counjuring a chair out of thin air so Harry and Ron could ease Neville into it ‘Since two o’clock yesterday afternoon’

‘Bloody hell!’

‘Why may I ask is he wearing nothing but a cloak and dragon shit? George asked them.

‘He streaked naked down Diagon Alley’ Harry said rubbing his neck ‘Stripped off in front of everyone in the Leaky Cauldron and galloped down the Alley like a rampaging hippogriff. I then got him with my Dragon Dung Hex just before he did a cartwheel over a table in front of Fortescue’s. I had to transfigure a stone into something to cover him up’

'Do you have any hangover potion?’ Ron asked Angelina ‘Neville needs some real bad’

‘I reckon you could do with some too’ She said with a laugh ‘Nev streaked? If he were sober he wouldn’t do that in a million years!’

'Well it’s a bucks night we’ve been showing him a good time. We’ve been alternating between London and Hogsmeade all night’

‘I hope you’re not going to do this to me on my night out’ George said conjuring a stretcher out of thin air and helping Ron Harry and Dean get Neville onto it.

The group slowly made their way upstairs then made their way into the lounge of Angelina and George’s apartment. George went rummaging around in a cupboard and pulled out a bottle containing a bright purple liquid.

‘You guys are terrible. Mum would have kittens if she knew what you’re up to. And how are you flitting between London and Hogsmeade? It’s illegal to apparate when drunk. Apparating when drunk as you lot are would be enough for six months in Azkaban’ George said measuring the purple potion into some shot glasses.

Angelina let out a great snort of laughter.

Early in the evening we apparated but after that we flooed’ Ron said ‘Seamus threw up on hearth at the Three Broomsticks and Harry decorated the front steps of the Leaky Cauldron'

Angelina and George roared with laughter.

‘Oh-Tom-would’ve-LOVED-that!’ George howled.

‘I cleaned it up!’ Harry exclaimed glaring at Ron ‘I didn’t just leave it! And Ron jumped off Blackpool peir with no clothes on!’

‘You all followed suit!’ Ron exclaimed.

George sniggered.

George finished dosing out the hangover potion then gave them all a shot glass each.

‘All of you drink this or Mum will have my hide’ He said ‘Don’t think she won’t find out about this. It will get out Harry covered the steps of the Leaky Cauldron and you Ron jumped off the Blackpool peir naked’

‘And the fact Neville a prominent member of the wizarding community streaked starkers down Diagon Alley is worth the front page of The Daily Prophet’ Katie said with a grin.

Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean groaned loudly.

‘Don’t worry we’ll hide ya’ George said forcing Neville’s mouth open and pouring down a large dose of potion ‘Nev’s gran would be rolling in her grave if she knew what you did to him. And Hannah would torture you if she had any idea if she knew what was happening’

‘We didn’t DO anything to him!’ Harry exclaimed his head swimming sickeningly ‘We didn’t force him to scull a whole bottle of Firewhiskey or to get a tattoo or to get his cock pierced!

George dropped the bottle of potion.

‘HE DID WHAT?!’ He bellowed.

Neville got a Prince Albert peircing’ Seamus said.

‘A what?’

‘It’s a ring put through the end of a blokes cock to help make sex better’ Seamus said ‘Muggle men quite often get it done’

‘Some wizard men get it done too’ Ron muttered blushing scarlet.

George stared at them all.
‘No tell me you didn’t! He said with a grin ‘You all got your dick’s pierced? Oh my god. You lot are mental truly mental..ha ha!’

‘How much booze have you lot consumed?’ Angelina asked ‘Hell normal people don’t drink like you do and not pass out’

‘Nev passed out’ Dean said his head resting on the back of the chair ‘Actually he’s funny when he’s pissed. We outght to do it more often’

‘Then Hannah WOULD murder us!’ Harry said.

George pointed his wand at Neville’s chest and said ‘Enervate’

There was a flash of gold light and a snapping noise. After a few seconds Neville began stirring. He slowly opened his eyes sat up then vomited spectacularly over the edge of the stretcher splattering the coffee table and causing Ron and Harry to leap out of their chairs. To avoid being covered in vomit.

‘Awww yuuuuuvk Neville that’s groooooos!’ Seamus groaned.

George pointed his wand at the mess and muttered ‘Evanesco’ the vomit and it’s smell disappeared. Neville slowly sat up and wrapped himself in the cloak Harry transfigured.

‘OhmigoooodwhatdidIdo?’ He moaned.

‘Really want to know?’ Harry said with a grin ‘How d’you feel?’

‘Like a Hipogriff danced on my head’

Angelina and George snorted.

'Angelina, George what are you doing here?' Neville slurred getting off the stretcher and slumping into the chair which had been Harry’s minutes before. He didn’t yet seen to notice he was still covered head to tail in Dragon manure.

‘Mate you’re in our shop’ George said going to the kitchen and bringing out another bottle of hangover potion ‘Harry and Ron dragged you to the shop front. I put you on the stretcher and you’ve woken up here’

‘Do you really want to know what you did?’ Dean asked grinning evilly.

‘Yeah go on!’ Neville said closing his eyes as if to steel for a bombshell ‘But first Harry can you please get this shit off me?!’

Harry pointed his wand at Neville and muttered ‘Finite Incantatem’ and the dragon manure instantly vanished.

‘You stripped off in the middle of the Leaky Cauldron and streaked down the entire length of Diagon Alley’ Harry said ‘In the process cartwheeling over a table in front of Fortescue’s and passing out right on top of the apparition point. That’s when Ron and I dragged you here. I had to transfigure a pebble into a cloak to give you some modesty’

Neville groaned loudly as everyone else fell about laughing.

‘Oh and we all got out cocks peirced’ Seamus chipped in ‘And you got a tattoo of a Chinese Fireball dragon on your arse’

‘Hannah's going to kill me!’

‘Nah she’ll be alright mate’ George said giving Neville another glass of potion ‘Here drink this. It’ll make you feel better’

Neville took the glass and drained the contents in one gulp.
‘Thanks guys’ He said gratefully putting the glass on the coffee table.

‘No worries’ George replied ‘I hope you lot aren’t going to do the same to me on my bucks night next week’

‘I’m not going to do anything I’ll be on my honeymoon’ Neville said running his face with both hands.

‘Hey I should reiterate we didn’t make Nev do anything!’ Ron exclaimed ‘Not once did me but the full body bind on him and force fed him alcohol!’

‘I have to admit that no you didn’t’ Neville said ‘Did anyone see me streak?’

‘Yeah everyone in the Leaky Cauldron and all the pedestrians walking down Diagon Alley when you cartwheeled the table at Fortesue’s’ Harry said ‘But you did it so fast I don’t think anyone recognized you’

‘Thank Merlin for that’

‘Do you lot want to crash here? George asked ‘None of you look in any condition to do any more partying. And you’re sure as hell not in any condition to apparate or floo anywhere’

‘That may be a good idea’ Ron said ‘Can I have some more potion? I feel shithouse. And if I go home half cut Mum’ll kill me’

‘Aww is ickle Ronniekins scared of what Mumsy wumsy will do with her big bad wooden spoonie?’ George teased ‘Since when do you give a shit about what Mum thinks?’

‘Oh sod off you big git you don’t live at home any more you don’t have to put up with her blasting you’ Ron said taking the flask of potion.

‘Ron you’re twenty four years old when are you going to move out of home?' George said waving his wand on one big sweeping movement so five sleeping bags on five blow up mattresses appeared on the floor.

‘I don’t wanna leave home yet’ Ron said pulling off his cloak and dumping it on the lounge ‘I like my situation like it is thank you very much’

‘I’m going to see about setting myself up at Godric’s Hollow you can move I with me if you like’ Harry said discarding his cloak on top of Ron’s ‘There are laods of rooms there. Pick one’

‘There you go you and Harry can wreak havoc there’ George said placing the hangover potion on the coffee table.

Ron climbed into his sleeping bag.
‘Aww but what about ‘Mione?’ He moaned.

‘Awww ickle Ronniekins wuvs his ‘Mione wione!’ George teased.

'Fuck off George or I will hex you so bad you and Angelina won’t be able to have kids!’ Ron threatened.

‘Ron you are pissed as an ant!’ Angelina said with a laugh ‘You couldn’t levitate a feather at the moment’

‘Sod off Ange’

Soon Neville, Seamus, Dean Harry and Ron were ensconsed in their sleeping bags and within minutes they were sound asleep.

*******************************************************************

Harry was the first to wake later that day. The sun poked him hard in both eyes and his head swum as he sat up.

‘Oh it stirs!’ A familiar voice said from behind him.

Harry turned around to see Angelina entering the room carrying a folder with the shops logo stamped on it.

‘Oh morning Ange’ Harry said holding his head.

‘Morning?’ Angelina said it’s four o’clock in the afternoon! You and cartwheel company have been asleep for twelve hours!’

Harry groaned loudly and fell back on the mattress.

‘Oh you remember what we told you happened then?’ He said.

Oh yeah every single detail. You spewed on the steps of The Leaky Cauldron? You’ll never be able to go there again! Ha ha…! And Neville streaking down Diagon Alley. I would have paid to see that. And what possessed you all to get your jiggly bits pierced? You must’ve drunk all of Rosmerta’s stocks out to do that’

Harry just groaned. That caused Ron to stir and seconds later he sat up looking like death warmed up.

‘What time is it? He groaned.

‘Four o’clock’ Angelina said bringing over a pot of hot coffee ‘We’ve already had an owl from the Burrow wondering where you are’

‘You didn’t tell Mum what we got up to did you?’ Ron groaned.

‘No George did’ Angelina said with a laugh.

‘He didn’t!’ Harry moaned.

‘I’ll kill ‘im! Ron hissed ‘The fuckin’ git!’

Angelina laughed.

‘Don’t worry he didn’t go into detail’ She said levitating some milk and sugar over to the table ‘He just said you were too drunk to apparate or floo home and that we would send you home when you’re with it enough to put one foot in front of the other’

Harry pointed his wand in the air and said ‘PIRRICULUM!’ the resultant shower of red sparks and loud bang shook Seamus , Dean and Neville from their deep slumber.

‘Bloody ‘ell Harry what was that for?’ Dean groaned waking up with a jump ‘Oooooohmy heaaaad’

‘Afternoon lads’ Angelina said brightly.

‘Afternoon? What time is it?’ Neville groaned sitting up.

‘Now ten past four’ Katie said ‘Here’s some coffee to help you guys wake up and I’d take some hangover potion if I were you we’re nearly out. George’s downstairs making some more because you lot have nearly gone through ours’

‘Then why do we still feel awful?’ Ron groaned.

‘Because you pissed your way through the wizarding world’s entire Firewhiskey supply and you have to drink a lot of hangover potion to feel normal again’ Angelina said ‘I’m going downstairs to the shop help yourselves to some grub. There’s some leftover chocolate cake and some ham and cheese sandwiches on the sideboard if you feel up to eating and the loo is down the hall if you fancy spewing in that instead of on the coffee table’

‘Ha ha Angelina ta’ Neville said making a face.

Within half an hour Dean, Seamus, Neville, Harry and Ron were sitting at the dining table eating the sandwiches and drinking conjured up lemonade.

‘I’m not doing that again for a while’ Dean said resting his head in hands ‘My head feels like a herd of Centaurs has galloped on it and I need to shave!’

We all do’ Harry said 'Bloody hell we've still got Oliver and George's stag nights to go too. I’m not sure my constitution is going to survive that much alcohol consumption'

‘Reckon you three could handle something similar to this for George’s stag night?' Ron asked Neville, Dean and Seamus. ‘You’re all invited. Bill, Charlie and I are organizing it’

‘What Percy isn’t contributing to the festivities?’ Harry said with a laugh.

‘No way you know Perce is such a stuffshirt his idea of a good night out is a game of chess and a civilized chat about cauldron bottoms’ Ron said rolling his eyes ‘He shit himself on his stag night when George and Charlie stripped him naked put in him in the full body bind covered him in honey and feathers and tied him to a bus stop in muggle London. Even his colleagues from Kingsley's office thought it was funny’

‘I remember that’ Harry said with a laugh ’No wonder you didn’t include him in the plans for George’s stag night'

‘If we have to we’ll tie him up again’ Ron said taking a swig of hangover potion ‘Bill said he’d do everything to Perce as he’d do to George if he didn’t go along with everything’

Seamus snorted.

‘That’s mean’ He said with a grin leaning back in his chair and stretching luxurious ‘But funny’

‘Like what you did to me’ Neville said with a grin.

‘Yeah sorta’

Twenty minutes later George came upstairs carrying an enourmous bottle of purple liquid which Harry figured was more hangover potion.

‘How are you lot feeling? He asked ‘Suffering in your boots?’

‘Sod off George you big git’ Ron said ‘We’re going soon if you must know’

‘Great you can eat Mum and Dad out of house and home instead of us’ George said putting the bottle of potion on the kitchen bench ‘Hang on…you already do’

‘Fuck off’

‘Ooh original’

A few minutes later Dean got to his feet.

‘Well I better be off’ He said ‘Thanks for putting me up Angelina, George’

‘No worries mate anytime come for a visit again when you’re sober eh?’ George joked shaking Dean’s hand.

‘Will do catch ya later guys’ Dean said to Harry, Ron, Seamus and Neville ‘See you all Sunday’

‘Here take this with you’ Angelina said giving Dean a bottle of hangover potion ‘You’ll need it I think’

‘Ta’

Dean pocketed the potion and with a crack he disapparated.

‘Well I think that’s my cue to shoot off to’ Seamus said standing up and putting his cloak on ‘I’m going home having a shower then dying’

Angelina levitated a bottle of hangover potion to him.

‘No one’s leaving here with out some Hangover Potion’ She said ‘See ya Sunday’

‘Thanks bye’

And like Dean Seamus disapparated with a crack.

‘Well just the terrible trio remain’ George said filling three more bottles with hangover potion.

‘I’m not going to risk apparating’ Neville said pocketing the bottle George levitated over to him ‘Mind if I floo?’

‘Nah go ahead’ George said ‘Look after yourself won’t ya?’

‘Yeah will do’

Angelina, George, Harry and Ron followed Neville into the loungeroom.

‘Okay Neville no going out on any more all night benders now’ Angelina said holding out the pot of floo powder.

‘Oh ha ha veery funny’ Neville said grabbing a handful of powder ‘Longbottom Manor!’

In a flash of green light he was gone.

‘Okay I suppose we better be off’ Harry said stepping into the fireplace ‘Thanks for putting us up guys’

‘No worries’ George said with a grin ‘Give our love to Gin’

‘Will do’