Away Team (Chapters 7, 8, and 9 now up! *EDITING*)

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Chapter 8

The tiny house was dark, empty, and inhospitably cold, but it had a roof, which was all any of them cared about after the long walk through the chilling drizzly rain. The wizards had learned the meaning of the term rough side of town on their journey through the narrow alleyways and darkened, litter-filled streets; twice small groups of dangerous looking characters had approached them, obviously with ill intent, hurling epithet-filled threats at them and brandishing weapons of the sort that the quartet had seen on television during previous missions. The first group scattered when Sirius unexpectedly doubled up a fist and laid their leader flat on the pavement with a well-met and resounding punch to the jaw. The second broke and ran after a round of taunting that ended with Remus pulling out his wand and setting ablaze the pants of the ruffian nearest him.

"There's an extra parchment of paperwork," he mumbled with irritation as he tucked his wand away.

Tonks clucked accusingly. "Tsk tsk, Remus...using magic in front of Muggles. You're in for it."

"I'll just tell them Harry did it."

Harry squeaked the beginning of a protest, but was cut off abruptly by Remus' annoucement that they had arrived at their lodging for the evening.

Eyeing the accomodations with apprehension, Lupin was the first to enter, somewhat bravely seeing as the condition of the establishment gave new meaning to the word condemned. The other three wizards followed, wands at the ready, more so as a means of keeping the roof from caving in and killing them all than out of fear of what might be inhabiting the ramshackle abode.

"Oh look," Sirius exclaimed with mock glee from a doorway on the far side of the room. "A bed. As in, ONE."

"Shit shit shit shit SHIT!!" Tonks hissed under her breath, rushing past him into the room to find that he was indeed correct, to a degree. A single bare mattress lay on the floor with a blanket piled in its center. She stomped her foot and whined for Remus to come have a look.

"Well, it would appear we're bunking it tonight," he drawled upon entering and surveying the scene. "It's too cold for anyone to play the primadonna, and seeing as this is a residential area and this house is supposed to be empty, a fire will be too risky."

Tonks groaned.

"Now now Tonks, we don't want the Muggle police to come cart us off to jail, now do we?"

Sirius snorted, flopping down on the mattress; a cloud of dust billowed up around him. "I dunno about that, Remus," he sneered with a malicious grin. "If Muggle police are like the ones we saw on Skinamax, I'm all for getting busted."

Harry looked confused. "What's Skinamax?"

"Well, Godson, it's this channel on the television where they show documentaries about how the Muggle police system works. Muggle police are big-breasted women who strip search you for jaywalking, although I don't know what jaywalking is, but the whole thing looks pretty damn---"

"ENOUGH Black!!"

Sirius shut up, but continued gesturing to get the point across to Harry, moving his hands in big circles at chest level to indicate ample bosoms. Harry laughed.

"So how are we going to arrange this?" Tonks asked, her eyes clenched shut; she really didn't want to hear the answer, but it was getting very late and they needed an early start in the morning. There was no way around it, they were going to have to get in bed soon, and together from the looks of it. It was just too cold to spread out.

Remus, as always, represented the voice of reason.

"I believe there's room for everyone if we scrunch up a little---"

"Scrunch? Did you just make that up?"

"Shut up Sirius, this is difficult enough already. If we lie head to foot---" He gestured wildly in a zigzag motion---"we should be able to maximize the available space and fit in closely enough together so that our body heat helps keep one another warm."

Sirius was on the verge of laughing out loud. "Remus my friend, only you could describe how to fit four people into one bed and make it sound like an engineering project."

"If you have a better plan I'm all for hearing it."

"I say we just pile in."

"You would."

"Well yours sounds like a thinly disguised plan for 69'ing."

"May I say something here please?"

Remus and Sirius looked up. Tonks wasn't looking happy, her hands on her hips and her jaw set; her hair had turned crimson.

"Where am I in this plan?"

Remus stared at the bed momentarily, pursing his lips in thought.

"I think, perhaps, the center would be best for you, since you're the smallest and will be least able to maintain any degree of warmth on your own."

"Yeah, that's sorta what I figured. Here's me, in the middle of a bed full of guys. Again." She leaned against the doorframe and began pulling off her shoes, mumbling to herself. Sirius rolled over to the outer edge, kicking off his own boots.

"I call outer left."

"That's the right."

"Not from where I'm laying."

"Seriously Sirius, how did you pass geometry being as dyslexic as you are?"

"At least I'm not a carnivorous wanker like you."

"I'd rather be a carnivorous wanker than a ball licking cur."

"That's one of the best parts of the job description."

"It is isn't it?"

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE HELL UP?!?"

The room fell silent. Everyone stared at Tonks, watching her hair go from purple to blood red to orange to acid green and back to something between red and brown in the space of a few short seconds.

"Cool."

"Shut up Black."

She climbed onto the mattress and attempted to make herself comfortable with her head at Sirius' feet and her own feet at his shoulders, coughing from the dust that stirred into the air every time she moved. She muttered to herself angrily, pushing Sirius closer to the edge of the mattress, ignoring him when he complained; once she had settled somewhat, Remus situated himself on the other outer edge, his head at the same end as Sirius', his arm resting over Tonks' legs.

"Your turn Harry," Remus said after he was settled, "find a spot and claim it."

Harry managed to squirm into the space at the end, laying crossways with his head above Sirius' head and his feet above Remus'. The blanket was tugged and pulled in a dozen directions until everyone had a sufficient bit of it, Remus and Harry fighting momentarily over whether or not Harry should have his feet covered as this meant the blanket would be over Remus' head. The problem was solved by Remus using Harry's feet as a pillow.

"When do I get a higher spot on the choosing-which-end-of-the-bed-to-sleep-on list?" Harry whined, fidgeting with the blanket. Sirius yanked it hard, snatching it out of his hands.

"When you're a big wizard and have proven you can make it the whole night without wetting the bed."

"But I don't wet the bed!"

"You haven't proven it yet. Now be quiet and go to sleep."

After several uncomfortable moments of blanket tugging, position changing, and head-against-knee bashing, the foursome one by one drifted into the slow, steady-breathing rhythm of sleep. Tonks was the last to drift off, wedged tightly between Sirius' back and Remus' front, with two pairs of feet surrounding her head on either side. Sirius' foot kept twitching, like a dog dreaming of chasing rabbits.

How do I get myself into these situations was the last thought she had before slumber blissfully blocked out the numbing cold and took her gently in its embrace.



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