ENIGMA

Plot, new characters, new magical terms and abilities etc. are my intellectual property. If you want to borrow then please kindly ask. JK Rowling's characters and Wizarding Universe are all uniquely hers.

Summary: AU: What if everything we ever read in JK Rowling’s books was real – including the people characterised? What would you do if you found yourself caught up in that reality knowing what was to come? SS, RL, OC

Fantasy/Drama

This story is rated R/M.

ENIGMA

Chapter 008: Into the Fire…

What feels right in the darkness of night can often seem otherwise by the cold light of day. As Jessica and Severus woke up to the reality of their night together, both were more than a bit concerned that their relationship would prove to be fragile.

Jessica was the first to awaken and in a blind panic she crawled over Severus to get to her clothes, waking him up.

“What’s going on? Where are you going?” he asked not hiding confusion mingled with more than a bit of hurt.

“Don’t you want me to leave?” Jessica sniffed with her back to him.

“Why would I want that? Jessica – please turn around and talk to me!”

“Because…I’m a Muggle and we weren’t thinking last night!”

“Merlin’s Beard – give me strength,” Severus sighed huskily. “Come here…”

Jessica slowly turned around, but still didn’t look at the man she had given her heart and soul to. She shook her head ‘no’ and it was then that Severus realised she was crying. He tossed aside the covers and reached her in three quick strides.

“We need to talk, Jessica, and I do not fancy having a conversation with myself. We are adults you and I, remember?”

“I’m no good for you! It will never work! Even though it feels so right and I want you so much – it will never work!”

Severus took a step back and looked at her. And in an instant he realised, she knew.

She knew!

It was bound to happen sooner or later with the job she had. There were more than enough chronicles of the First War of Voldemort and the ensuing trials and Hogwarts had them all. Besides which, more than a few people had not forgotten that he was named by Ivor Karkaroff as one of the Dark Lord’s Death Eaters. He had been, but that was another time and under entirely different circumstances. While it was true that one was a Death Eater for life, bound by a magical brand of a tattoo to Voldemort; Severus Snape on the cusp of 40 was not the same as he was when he left Hogwarts, looking for affirmation and respect in the wrong places.

“After all that was said, all that I did – it meant nothing to you!” he hissed darkly as he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard. “Goddamn it answer me!”

“Please – you’re hurting me!”

Just then there was a creaking of boards somewhere down the hallway outside their room. Severus took a deep breath and willed himself to calm down. Now was not the time to lose control. This situation was salvageable. Perhaps he should have thought a lot more about the reality of who it was he was risking so much for. But his emotions were as deeply complex as he was. Into the darkness had come light – and he was not so willing to go back to the barrenness that was the only existence he had known for so many years.

Seeing the obvious effect she was having on him Jessica knew she had no choice but to move into the dangerous territory that was his criminal past. Fortunately for her, she had come across information in the Hogwarts Library; there was no way she could ever reveal how well-known he and his world were in her own. At best he would think her mad, at worst mental or the very worst a Dark Witch perpetuating a fraud. She had to be careful, very careful indeed. Things were looking very wrong in the cold light of day, but it seemed Severus had no intention of just letting it go or pretending that what happened between them hadn’t.

“One of the first archives I worked on was about this – war – with erm You-Know-Who. I read everything about his rise, and about his followers and their atrocities,” she said in a choked voice. “I also read what I suppose was their Manifesto. It was hard stuff and nothing I haven’t seen or heard before where I come from – but then again my people are used to systematic apartheid and extermination…” she said quietly so that her voice wouldn’t carry.

Severus looked up at her and to Jessica’s surprise he almost seemed – distraught. He wasn’t cold and disconnected as he tended to be so that was a good thing, she supposed.

“I am not the same person I was back then…” he whispered taking her hands in his. “I know that things have been said about me, against me, in your presence…”

“I know you are a nasty piece of work, Severus Snape; I am not fooling myself for one minute about what you are like. I’ve seen you in action one too many times, especially with anyone you really dislike. But I do think that wizards made you what you are as much as you yourself have…”

Snape looked at her curiously and Jessica realised that she was skating on thin ice – very thin ice. She needed to explain that and fast; it was obvious that what she had read was colouring everything she said and did. It needed to stop.

“None of us exists in a vacuum by ourselves. It’s too easy to say that people are born this way or that; that they alone are responsible for who they are. But my people have a saying: it takes a village to raise a child. I have always believed that. In my culture – all the adults are responsible for each child. And each of the adults has a responsibility to the others as well. I’m not saying we get it right – hell we have so many problems and it’s exactly because of what has been done to us for centuries. However, part and parcel of who we are is honouring and respecting ourselves as much as we do Mother Earth, Father Sky and everything in between and beyond. Our spirits are tended to and its just our way of life.

Here I see kids left to just get on with learning and growing. And they are left to their own devices in a way without having their parents or guardians around them. The guiding hand comes from Prefects, Head Boys and Girls – yes you have the Heads of Houses and the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress – but kids are left by and large to grow under the directive of other kids. And I know what kids are like, right, especially behind the backs of authority figures. There is a lot of anarchy and madness that teachers just don’t get to see. Even in a magical world – people are people. And I would wager that most people going through Hogwarts have to deal with a lot of crap – nothing about the place is fluffy and light… I see it’s like that now and times may change, but certain types of behaviours don’t. I see what you are like now, and it makes me believe that growing up here wasn’t easy for you. There was something or a few things that drove you to join this…gang of metaphysical terrorists…and to do things that I know are not discussed in civilised company… There is no spirituality here – no sense of the spirits – and something about that just doesn’t seem…right…”

Severus sat down on the bed, his legs slightly open and his head bowed. Jessica had struck a nerve. She seemed to just understand so much about him and his existence even without having even the most minor of details. It was a gift – a truly wondrous gift to be able to have so much insight. But as much as it was a blessing for her, it was a curse to him. It wasn’t so easy to hide with her – but then again perhaps he did not want to. It was easy to care for someone when all seemed right and well with them; but he was a different proposition altogether. He used to believe he could never feel for or respect anyone who would be with him knowing what he was – and what he had done. Being with Jessica – he didn’t want to believe that anymore.

And yes, she was a Muggle; and yes, she would have been amongst the hated and hunted of the Dark Lord’s. But if the time should come to pass when the reign of terror began again, he would do whatever it took to ensure she survived, even if it meant doing the one thing he feared most: sending her back through the stones. However, he did have his ideas about that situation and her existence in this world. They had not spoken about it but they would. He owed it to her to speak with her first before going to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore.

Merlin only knew what he would make of this. But they would cross that bridge if and when they needed to.

“I would like to say it is not like me to be reckless,” Severus said softly. “But I was when I joined him. I cannot even use the excuse that I was under duress; I went to him willingly and every day since I have paid a terrible price. It will never matter to some that I ‘saw the light’ as it were and turned spy at great risk for the Headmaster. It matters – to me it most certainly does matter.”

“You may have seen the light, Severus. But I am who I am. I am not magical – I am not one of you! I am not even a Muggle from this world! And I don’t think your Dark Lord would look kindly upon your fornication with a Muggle – now would he?”

The Potions Master looked up and took a deep breath.

“Hardly,” he rasped quietly. His head went down again and curtains of long inky black hair somewhat obscured his face. “But you are different, Jessica…”

“How?”

“Last night…”

Jessica moved forward and stood between his legs. Severus leaned against her with his head on her stomach and his arms went around her waist as she held him and stroked his hair.

“I should go back through the Stones; nothing good can come of me being in this world. It’s too big a risk…”

There was a slight twitching of Severus’ shoulders. He was not going to beg her – one moment of dunderheadedness had been enough. Jessica made a move to disentangle herself and he held on tightly.

“If the Headmaster believed that I assure you we would not be together now; he would have resolved the situation when he came upon you.”

“And that makes it alright does it?”

“Jessica – it is me taking the risk now; ME! I will do whatever I have to – to see this through! You made a sacrifice for me – let me be the one to finally make one for you!”

“But that’s just it, Severus! I don’t want you to get hurt because you fucked a Muggle! I’m not worth that!”

Snape laughed – a hollow, cold laugh.

“Is that what you believe it to be for me? If all I wanted was a shag, I could have quite easily gotten it elsewhere!”

“No! I don’t believe that’s what it was – and I don’t doubt that you can get whatever it is that you set your mind to!”

Severus looked up at her, his black eyes resolute and his face a mask of steely determination.

“You have risked everything to remain here and you did it because of me – don’t try to convince me otherwise because we both know that to be the case. No one has ever sacrificed or risked anything for me as you have – never! Not even… (Snape shook his head to keep from saying her name).

I promised myself a long time ago that if I was ever so fortunate such as to have the possibility of real love in my life I would do whatever it took to have it. I have a reason to go on for me now – it’s no longer about vows and other people. I have struggled with how much I liked you – and how I wanted the same from you in kind. My mind was made up when returned from the Stones last night. Whatever is to happen or not happen is entirely up to you. You could – always escape to the Muggle world here since it seems you are not able to return to your own at the moment.”

This wasn’t the Snape of fiction or even fan fiction – this was the man who’d been a comforting presence for her from her first night in this world. It was one thing to write of forgiving him his sins and transgressions, it was another to be faced with it.

Was this just another instance of wanting to make a difference in the life of one who would never be worthy of it? Was she deluding herself based on the assumptions and musings of one too many fan fics? In fan fics the impossible was always made plausible when it came to the Potions Master, his character and romantic involvement. But this wasn’t one of her stories. This was Severus’ life and hers and their liaison was phenomenally dangerous.

And Book 7 wasn’t a blip on anyone’s radar screen except Jo Rowling’s perhaps; the epilogue of Harry Potter’s seven years at Hogwarts was still unknown in her world almost 13 years later. All of the unanswered questions about Severus Snape, his loyalties, and what really lay behind certain events in Book 6 had yet to be answered, if ever.

Jessica was having to take a tremendous leap of faith into the unknown with a man who would be on the run in just over three years’ time – if, and only if, Rowling had been right.

Rowling.

The more Jessica thought about this the more she wondered: just how was it that JK Rowling knew of this world? There was only one logical answer for that and it didn’t bear thinking about. Still, what she had written seemed close enough to Jessica’s experience. However, there were a number of things that were off and these things did make a difference. Perhaps Jessica was thinking too far ahead. Maybe none of those things would take place – only time would tell.

In the here and now she was faced with a decision.

Severus had given her another out and she could easily take it, but at what cost to her and the man willing to risk so much for her? Whatever she wanted, he was willing even at a detriment to himself. She was finally getting what she had wanted all her life – but with a man who was supposed to only exist in fiction.

He had given her another possibility she hadn’t dared consider in all this time, no more than anyone else had. There was still the matter of her own existence in this realm; was there some accounting for her as a Muggle because she was indeed meant to be here? So many questions without answers; and she really needed those answers.

Jessica took a deep breath... and gave the one answer she knew to be right…