Opheliac

Thanks to my lovely beta and muse, Phoenix!!!


When Amelie woke the next morning, the sun was already high in the sky, and both Ai and Gemma had already left their rooms. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she stumbled across the room to the bathroom. She grimaced at the mirror there, and stuck out her tongue. Her short platinum blonde hair stuck in every which direction and her brown eyes were glazed over with sleep.
Joyous, she thought with her usual sarcasm.

Shrugging at her reflection, she set about her daily routine of washing and primping. It didn't take her all that long, compared to most girls. It was days like this, when she didn't have to go into public, and look like her usual rockstar self that were the easiest. Hell, people were lucky when they could get her to control her unruly hair on these days. Or shower.

She laughed to herself. That always bugged Ai. Her asian buddy was always harping on her for that, being one for personal hygeine. Amelie was just lazy. Give her a day off, and you'd find her lounging in front of the tv in sweatpants. Ai was always telling her she was too male for comfort. Maybe that was why her and Quinn always got along so well. She filled the male aspects, where he took over in the female. Not exactly normal, but then again, apparently she wasn't normal.

Amelie frowned. Now this wasn't how she wanted to start her day off, thinking about dead friends and her impending doom. She'd had enough emo mood swings to last her a lifetime. And she was positive if Ai caught wind of it, she'd be kicked in the face. And combat boots to the face really did hurt.

Speaking of which, where is Ai? Amelie pondered as she pulled on her clothing. There were no sounds on the upper level of the old house besides the echoes of her sneakers on the grimy floor wood. And as she descended the stairs that led to the foyer, the house was still eerily silent. You'd think someone would be out and about at this time of day. It wasn't exactly early.

Sighing she headed to the kitchen. She could feel her stomach growling, though she couldn't exactly hear it over the blaring music issuing from her iPod, and she wanted food. Did wizards have food in their kitchens? She sure hoped so, lack of food tended to make her go loco.

However, the sight that greeted her in said kitchen chased all thoughts of food from her mind. In fact, she didn't think she'd ever eat again. There on the counter- where FOOD was prepared!!- was Ai. And Sirius was locked in between her thighs with his pants around his hairy legs.

Amelie stumbled and hit the door frame, staring on in horror. "OH GOD!!! MY EYES!!!! MY EYES!!!"

The couple on the counter looked over at her, stopping their motions. Their faces mirrored the horror that Amelie was feeling.

"Oh... shit."

"Don't you knock!!!"

Amelie felt like she was going to be sick. "That... you.... GET A ROOM, YOU SICKOS!!!!" she yelled before stumbling back to the foyer with her hands rubbing her eyes, trying desperately to rub the images from her mind. She wondered if it was possible to wash her brain out with soap. That would be nice.

It was during her frantic retreat that she slammed into a solid wall of black cloth.

I don't remember any of the walls having curtains, she thought absently.

But that was because there weren't any, of course. No, she'd managed to headbutt the one person she wanted to avoid and send them tumbling to the ground in a mass of tangled limbs. Her Ipod skidded under a table, the music blaring loudly throughout the room.

"God help me
I don't see
How I can live this way
Any I don't know why he's
Touching me
Won't you shine in my direction and help me
Won't you lend me your protection and help me"

"You idiot!" Snape hissed. His lips skinned back from his yellowed teeth in a snarl. "Is it that hard for you to look where you’re going?!"

"Bu- wha- I-" she stammered. "I- they burn!"

Snape was trying to disentangle himself from her, but paused at her lack of coherence. "What are you talking about? What burns?"

"My eyes!" she practically screeched. "They were... it was icky. I'll be forever traumatized!!"

He sneered at her. "And I'll be forever traumatized by having your hands dirtying my good robes. I do not care what your issues may be, little girl, but I suggest you remove yourself from me immediately before I am forced to hex you."

"You should be so lucky, Snivellus, that she managed to fall on you," Sirius chided as he strode into the room.

Ai followed closely behind him, and Amelie was disgusted to see that their clothes were still extremely disheveled.

"God help me
And just maybe
I'll learn to help myself
Speak to me
Don't leave me
He's burning me
Won't you shine in my direction and help me
Won't you lend me your protection and help me"

"Gah... it burns," Amelie moaned, hiding her head in the Potion Master's robes.

"And why is that, Black?" Snape growled, trying unsucsessfully to pry Amelie from his side.

Sirius grinned maliciously. "It's probably the only time you'll have a woman in your arms."

"Why you... Miss Peverell, remove yourself from me this instant!" he snapped, grabbing her by the scruff of the neck and yanking her off of him.

"Am I guilty or am I just waiting around
For the tide to come in
So the truth can come out
And if I had a dollar for every time
I repented the sin
And commit the same crime
I'd be sitting on top of the world
I'd be sitting on top of the world"

In a matter of seconds, he was on his feet, brushing the nonexistent wrinkled from his robes.

"You know," Ai drawled, her dark eyes glinting with mischief, "it's not healthy to keep your sexual frustrations bottled up like this. Wouldn't it be better to go upstairs and resolve it with hot monkey sex?"

Amelie made a gagging noise from her position on the floor while Sirius howled with laughter.

"Places everyone, this is a test
Throw your stones, do your damage
All the world is a judge
But that doesn't compare
To what I do to myself when you're not there
And if I had a dollar for every time
I repented the sin
And commit the same crime
I'd be sitting on top of the world
I'd be sitting on top of the world"

And then with a contented smirk, Snape delivered a swift right hook to Sirius' face, sending the man to the ground with a thud, before turning swiftly and leaving in a billow of robes. Sirius moaned in pain, holding his bleeding nose. Amelie was still trying her best not to vomit.

Ai, on the other hand, was laughing her head off. "What the fuck?!?! Was it something I said?"

"Don't make me choose
I've got much to lose
For I am with you
And also with you
For I am with you
And also with you"

As Amelie walked away from the scene, still holding her eyes and moaning in agony, Ai decided to compound her friend's disgust. "I hear that Snape really likes taking it so you might want to invest in a strap-on!!!!"

"I HATE YOU AI!!!!!" was the scream that the rest of the Order members were able to hear.