Under the Influence

A/N: Thanks for the drink ideas. Keep them coming, I still have lots more plot to write. And please, please send me the recipes! I need to um, research these ideas. You know, make sure Severus and Hermione would enjoy them.

Disclaimer: It's JKR's orchestra. I'm in the back with her violin, playing my own tune.


Chapter 8- Wednesday night. Theme Night at the bar.

It was pouring outside. The rain was coming down in buckets. It was raining cats and dogs. Pick your cliche, that's what it was doing.

Hermione ran in the door and tried shaking like a dog to get some of the moisture off her clothing. Severus entered a moment later, brushing drops off the rich wool of his coat. Hermione gave him a soggy smile, which he returned with a sneer that didn't reach his eyes.

"Raining hard enough for you?" Hermione asked.

Severus, however, was distracted. "What the hell is this? Are we in the right place?"

Hermione looked around to see what the fuss was about. Sure enough, the place looked different. There were colored party lights hanging from the ceiling and plastic hibiscus flowers lined the bar. Sam was wearing a lei and grass skirt, and to Hermione's astonishment, coconuts.

Hermione was laughing uncontrollably.

Snape, however, had a different plan in mind. He stalked over to the bar. "Sam! What the hell is wrong with this place?"

"It's theme night."

"Why?"

"We're trying to drum up more business during the week. Hilda, my weekend waitress, suggested having theme nights once a week."

"But why Wednesdays?" Snape whined.

"It's hump night."

Snape groaned. He started walking back to Hermione when Sam called out: "All tropical drinks are half off!"

"Yay!" Hermione yelled back at him. Snape just growled.

"What's your problem, Severus?"

"I don't like fruity drinks."

"C'mon, Sev. Everybody likes fruity drinks."

"Don't call me 'Sev.' And I HATE fruity drinks."

"Even when I buy them?"

"You may buy me one fruity drink. Then I shall drink straight whiskey all night in an attempt to reclaim my masculinity."

"Okay. Sam! I want sex on a beach!"

Severus stared at her, mouth open.

"It's a drink, Severus. What do you want?"

"What do you suggest. I am not accustomed to drinking fruity drinks."

"Sam! Make it two! Severus wants sex on a beach too!" Hermione looked at Severus, beaming. "We can have sex on a beach together."

"I don't want sand in my crack."

"We'll have to be creative, then. Should we sit at the bar or the table?"

"Let's sit at the table. Sam in coconuts...."

"I agree wholeheartedly."

Together they made their way to the dingy table in the corner. A minute later, Sam brought them their drinks. Hermione took off the pineapple garnish and bit in, savoring the flavor. Severus was staring at his drink, which had a green sparkly sticking out of it.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Severus."

Hermione took the green sparkly out of his drink, licked the stick, and stuck it in her hair. She also removed the piece of pineapple on the rim of the glass.

"Pineapple?" Hermione offered.

"I think not."

"Oh, c'mon, it's yummy." Hermione held the piece out to him.

Severus shook his head.

"My, you are being difficult tonight." Hermione leaned over the table and put the piece of pineapple near his mouth. "Bite."

Pouting, Severus took a small bite.

"See? It's good." Hermione took a bite out of the piece too. "More?" She put the pineapple back to his lips. He took a larger bite this time, finishing the fruit. Hermione tossed the rind on the table.

Snape couldn't believe it. The woman literally had him eating out of the palm of her hand! He would be disgusted with himself, if he weren't so aroused.

Hermione had been draining her glass while he was thinking. She set her glass on the table with a bang, startling Severus out of his thoughts.

"Drink up, Professor, before anybody sees you with a fruity drink."

Severus drank his drink in one large gulp. Before he could say anything, Hermione stood and walked to the bar. Snape groaned. Who knew what the girl had up her sleeve now?

She returned with a pitcher of pina colodas and a pitcher of strawberry daiquiris. She set the pitchers on the table and returned to the bar. A moment later, she set two mugs and a bowl of mixed fruit on the table.

"I had Sam give me the garnishes in a bowl, to preserve your manhood."

"Duly noted and appreciated, Hermione."

Hermione poured one mug full of pina coloda, and the other full of daiquiri. "I want to maintain the integrity of the drinks. So, this one is only for pina colodas. I figured we could just share mugs."

"You are bossy tonight."

"Damn straight." Hermione tossed her hair, knocking the green sparkly askew.

"So, what's new with you?"

"Draco and Harry are engaged."

"I heard. Or, I guess I should say, I read."

"Yeah. The funny thing is, I'm actually sort of happy for the prats. It didn't take me long to get over Harry, did it?"

"Astonishingly short recovery time for a divorce, I'd say."

"Yeah. After I yarked martinis all over your shoes, I felt much better. My divorce hasn't bothered me at all since then. I wonder if that works for other things too. Like, say, I'm upset because you insulted my teeth in fourth year. Would puking on your shoes make me feel better?"

"I insulted your teeth?"

"Yes, you did. Remember when Draco and I were fighting, and my teeth got huge, and you said you saw no difference?"

"I don't remember that at all." Snape finished the pina coloda mug and refilled it.

"Well, you did."

"Well, I didn't make you buy me new shoes. So we're even."

"But I apologized for your shoes. You didn't apologize for my teeth."

"I don't even remember saying that!"

"I didn't make it up. Say you're sorry or I'll stick grapes up your nose."

Snape laughed. Hermione picked up the grapes in question and held them out threateningly. "Don't tempt me, Snape."

"Okay, sorry!"

"Say it like you mean it!"

"But I don't mean it."

"Say it!" Hermione edged closer, grapes in hand.

"Dear, Miss Hermione Granger, would you please accept my ever so sincere apology regarding the awful, horrible comment I made about your teeth almost ten years ago? Could you forgive me?" Snape fluttered his eyelashes.

Hermione popped the grapes in her mouth. "Forgiven."

They picked up the mugs in unison and drank deeply. Suddenly Hermione set the drink down.

"Aaaahhh! Brain Freeze!!!!"

She stood quickly and started jumping in a small circle.

Snape chuckled. Hermione was in a strange mood, but he liked it.

"Snape! Don't just stand there! Help me!"

"What do you suggest I do?"

"Get me something hot to drink!"

Snape went to the bar, laughing the whole way. He returned with a cup of hot water. Hermione grabbed the cup and took a large drink.

"Aaah! Now I burned my tongue!"

Snape smiled and sat down. Hermione sat too.

"Hey, if I puke on your shoes, do you think my tongue will feel better?"

"Probably."

"Well, I need to drink more!"

Hermione drank deeply out of one mug, set it down, and picked up the other one. She alternated between mugs until both were empty, finishing with a gulp of hot water.

Severus went to the bar and ordered a pitcher of sex on the beach. 'Now she has me drinking things that are pink!'

He brought the pitcher to the table, where Hermione poured it in the glasses they had used earlier. She pulled pieces of pineapple out of the bowl and artfully stuck them on the rims of the glasses.

"Drink up, Snapeykins." She pushed the drink to him.

Severus pulled the pineapple off his glass and held it to Hermione, eyebrows arched. "Your turn, Granger."

Hermione obediently bit into the fruit.

Snape was surprised. He didn't actually expect her to play along.

They drank their drinks in a silent contest to see who would finish first. Snape won. When Hermione finished, she shared a revelation:

"You know, Severus, I consider you my best friend."

Snape choked on a piece of ice.
*************

Sex on the Beach:

1 oz vodka
3/4 oz peach schnapps
cranberry juice
grapefruit juice

Add vodka and peach schnapps to a highball glass. Fill with equal measures of cranberry juice and grapefruit juice, and stir.

Fruit Daquiri:

2 oz white rum
2 - 3 dashes dark rum
2 - 3 dashes syrup
1/2 tsp powdered sugar
fruit pieces
3/4 oz lime juice

Add pieces of a chosen fruit, syrup (of that chosen fruit), rums, sugar, lime juice and crushed ice to a blender, and blend. Pour into a cocktail glass, and serve.

Popular fruits to choose; bananas, pineapples and strawberries.

To make a pina coloda, mix pineapple pieces and coconut shreds.