Sing for Me, Cry for Me

A/N: I've been out of touch for a very long time, having no idea that I never finished uploading this fic here. I want to say that I'm awfully sorry if someone wanted to read the continuation and couldn't. I know that it is completed on Forever Fandom though. I am uploading it now to finish what I've started several years ago. Forgive me for any mistakes, it was too long ago and back then my English was still wobbly.


8. Back in Class.


Later that day or if to be more precise night Harry was dragging his tired form to the dorm. Tomorrow was Monday and they had Double Potions as their last class. While he was tirelessly and selflessly studying all through the day he didn’t think about the fact that he would return to the place where Lucius Malfoy raped him. It would never feel the same again and he didn’t know if he had enough strength to stay there and not to run away.

Sighing heavily he placed all his books on the bedside table, got ready for bed and fell asleep.

The next day was a rather successful affair and it seemed to begin perfectly fine. But things are never meant to go the way you plan them and Harry really learnt it the hardest way.

On Sunday while they were studying with Hermione she put herself in charge and chose what he should read not knowing that Harry had already read it the other day. Frankly Harry thought that Hermione rather lowered his intelligence but didn’t say anything out loud preferring her ignorance in this matter. So while Hermione was taking care of her own work Harry was expertly changing books selected by her to more advanced selected by him casting a spell so that she wouldn’t know. That’s why during both Charms and Transfiguration when asked a question he gave deeply founded answers that Hermione couldn’t remember ever reading. Harry was a bit disappointed with the way she worked. It turned out that there was a lot of information Hermione didn’t consider because it concerned dark arts in one way or another and he was astonished to find out that she had quite a narrow point of view concerning this matter. But for Harry it didn’t seem to be a problem and as long as he decided to learn more and more he was only grateful for every new piece of information, along with distraction and entertainment it provided.

A couple of times after he managed to answer the question before Hermione even had the chance to raise her hand though absolutely subconsciously when it just slipped out and he earned more points than she did he could swear that she would explode. That’s why he minimized his answers and kept quite till the end of the lesson remembering that he didn’t really want to rush and alert anyone. That’s seemed to calm Hermione down considerably and her good mood returned.

“Gee, I didn’t know she was that sensitive about her answers and marks. That should be quite some fun watching her fall from that pedestal. But not today. Not yet. So calm down, Mione, I’ll keep my mouth shut till the end of the lesson. Or tomorrow I might very well find myself murdered at the hands of my best friend who was driven to the brink of insanity by realization that she’s not the smartest witch and we so don’t want that.”

So the day was a general success up to the last class of the day. Harry was already a knot of nerves by the time he approached the Potions classroom. He could feel himself shaking slightly while his heart was hysterically beating all over his chest.

“OK. Calm down. You can do it. Forget and pretend that nothing happened. Breathe in. Breathe out. Nothing happened. Coward. Idiot. Nothing happened.” And so continued his mantra until he was brought back from his internal battle between his memories and fears by a piercingly cold voice:

“Well, Potter, are you coming in or do you need a special invitation. Or…” Snape put a finger to his lips as if contemplating the punishment Harry deserved and asked malevolently “should I give you another detention for making me waiting?” he finished with a snarl.

Harry paled and started shaking his head:

“No, sir. Don’t sir. I’m sorry sir for keeping you waiting. I’m already coming in sir.”

He took another deep breath and stepped in leaving behind all his memories and fears and one very confused Snape.

But when he entered nothing happened. There was no rush of memories or emotions and if he didn’t know better he’d say that nothing happened at all. So encouraged by this sudden revelation he moved to the last row of desks where Hermione had already sat her cauldron and her ingredients. Harry quickly retrieved his things and was ready for the lessons. The instructions were on the blackboard. Today they were making Strength Replenishing Potion and if they would do everything correctly it would take precisely two lessons for potion to be ready. And today Harry was sure that he would do everything just fine and even if he won’t get top marks which wasn’t his intentions right now he would still succeed.

So they started working. Hermione at her cauldron while Harry at his and the class was slowly and peacefully progressing until the door opened and Lucius Malfoy strode in. Harry who was engrossed in slicing of some ingredients wouldn’t pay the slightest attention to the distraction if not the sudden tightening in his chest. It was as if someone tied a knot around his heart and held it tightly in a clutch. Harry stopped slicing, put the knife down and straightened up. He looked up and his eyes went wide meeting those of Lucius Malfoy while the knot around his heart grew still tighter.

But Harry couldn’t understand one thing. Here was the man who raped him but he didn’t feel fear or apprehension or dread or hatred no the feeling which was coursing through his body was the feeling of anticipation. Something was definitely wrong with him. God, I can’t want to see him. And I definitely don’t want him to get closer. Right? I don’t understand. I should at least be afraid of him and not to calm down with his appearance.

He lowered his head and took the knife again and continued slicing though now his mind was not on the task but rather trying to investigate what the hell was going on with his feelings of fear and hatred. It only took him to step into the class to forget and to calm down not to mention that it took only one look from Lucius and he was already craving for more. I must be losing it. No, I must have already lost it. Because that’s the only reason why I would want Lucius Malfoy…. Want Lucius Malfoy to what? Damn it I am out of my mind!

Just then he heard professor Snape:

“Lucius, what an unexpected surprise.”

“Indeed, Severus. I haven’t seen you for quite some time. But I see you still have a class to teach” answered Lucius with mild amusement while his eyes roamed the classroom though never actually leaving their primal target of Harry.

(And my beauty is diligently working along with…Ms. Granger…)

“Indeed. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait before the class ends.”

“Oh, no I think I have a better idea. I’d rather stay here. I’m sure I’ll find a place for myself. Besides I’ve never seen you teaching a class and I’d like to see how my son is doing his schoolwork.” He looked at Draco and smirked while Draco went a bit paler, “That is if you don’t mind of course.”

“Be my guest.”

“Shit. Or I am very much mistaken or he’s coming here. Shit. Shit. Shit. He’s coming here. How am I going to handle it? I am doomed.”

Lucius was indeed coming to where Harry was standing and placed himself a bit behind.

Harry heard as Lucius conjured a chair for himself and tried to take his mind off the fact that he somehow could feel the man closer and closer. And this knot in his chest wouldn’t go away but it seemed that it squeezed all his senses into thinking about Lucius. Remember that he is the man who raped you. Funny, all these days I tried to forget this fact and somehow failed each time but now I seem to forget it as if it never happened and the cause of it all is this very man who actually raped me. Isn’t it too complicated? I’d prefer to fear him than to crave for him.

He was startled out of his reverie by a kick from Hermione, which made him hiss in pain. He definitely didn’t like the way she touched him anymore. Neither did Lucius he hardly contained himself when she punched Harry. “How dare she! Some filthy mudblood punch my kitten. She’ll pay. She is going to pay dearly.”

“What was that for?” asked Harry angrily.

“You spaced out and stopped stirring and you have to do it for another five minutes.” answered Hermione irritated.

“I know what to do. Remember? I learnt it yesterday.” continued Harry becoming more and more angry though he couldn’t place the reason why Hermione started anger him so much.

“Well, it seemed like you forgot!” she answered defensively.

“Don’t assume things about me!”

“Oh, fine!”

“I wonder why they are fighting” mused Lucius, “I think I’ll free my little one from that insufferable girl.”

He stood up cleared his throat and said in a loud voice:

“Severus, I think Ms. Granger here is trying to help Mr. Potter with his potion. Don’t you think that it would be desirable to separate them. Ms. Granger can go to the front row of the class while I can supervise Mr. Potter’s work.”

Harry’s jaw dropped. Hermione’s eyes widened while the rest of the class that consisted of the Slytherins sniggered. Professor Snape looked mildly surprised but complied with Lucius’ wish and told Hermione to move away to the front of the class. Which she did fuming.

Lucius inched closer to Harry though not exactly touching him and whispered in his ear:

“Hello, Harry. You have no idea what a pleasure it is to see you again.”

“Bastard” hissed Harry back.

“What did you say, little one? Because I have a distinct impression that you said something along the lines…”

“Good afternoon to you too Mr. Malfoy” said Harry turning around and facing Lucius this close for the first time since their Friday encounter,” The pleasure is all mine.” He finished sarcastically.

But the only thing he could think about was that if Lucius inched a centimeter closer he would melt on the spot. Why? Why? Why? He raped me. He’s evil. What’s wrong with me?

“Why, Harry, last time we met you started calling me Lucius.”

“That was the first and the last time I did that” answered Harry resolutely turning away to his cauldron. He was about to put another ingredient when he felt Lucius surround him from behind covering Harry’s hands with his own and freeing them from the ingredients Harry had just picked up.

“I wouldn’t put this before that” he indicated the last ingredient that was still on the desk.

“I know what I’m doing.”

“Really? And I always got the impression that you were abysmal at Potions. At least that what Severus and Draco told me.”

“Things change” muttered Harry relishing in the feeling of those hands on his own. He wondered that it felt so good and it didn’t make him flinch at all.

“Clearly. And still I’d advice you to listen to me. After all I’ve got your best interests at heart.” Lucius said in his ear.

“Never knew you had one” back talked Harry freeing his hands.

Lucius stood back and smiled.

“You’d be surprised kitten.”

Harry who after debating with himself for some time did as Lucius told him and changed the order of putting the last ingredients. Now he was looking into the cauldron watching the effect it produced but in reality was pleading inside for Lucius to come closer again. He didn’t know why and he stopped questioning himself why he felt that way but he wanted Lucius to be closer as he could get. He even got used to this knot in his chest by now and when Lucius was near it sent a sort of warmth all through his body calming him down and making him more confident. But although Harry didn’t hate Lucius at least at the moment he still was extremely angry with him.

“How can you do it?” he asked turning around again, “How can you act so calm all the time? How can you act like nothing happened? Here! In this very classroom! How can you be so calm?” he was speaking slowly and quietly but he was afraid to break down because words made it so real again.

“I don’t regret it” deadpanned Lucius, “And I’d do it again and again. And not only here. But always with you.” He leaned closer to Harry’s face as if wanting to touch his lips.

But Harry swirled around and Lucius suddenly found a knife precariously threatening his throat.

“Don’t even think about it!” hissed Harry glaring at him not blinking and still holding the knife at Lucius’ throat.

“I wouldn’t advice you to do it.”

“Of course,” laughed Harry humorously, “Because you’ve got my best interest at heart. Or is it your interest that you care now about?”

At that moment the both of them were brought back to reality by Snape’s voice.

“Lucius you said you would supervise Potter and not get yourself stabbed by his knife. And Potter lower your knife right now.” His voice was stern and dangerous and Harry obeyed.

It was an incredibly intense moment. Lucius was lost in Harry’s eyes that emanated fire and passion and danger and he wondered if he would protest if Harry decided to kill him right here on the spot. While Harry was lost in Lucius eyes which emanated a kind of admiration and desire. For moments he felt growing power over Lucius and he kept his knife as close as he could to feel Lucius’ vein beating against the blade.

They didn’t see Snape’s speculative look, Draco’s suspicious look or Hermione’s astonished one. They didn’t care. They reveled in the sensations they produced from each other, they admired the emotions they made each other feel, they liked the way they could get under each other’s skin.

Finally Lucius found his voice:

“That’s quite all right, Severus. Mr. Potter here was just showing me that his knife was sharp enough because I had some doubts regarding this fact.”

“And did Potter manage to eliminate your doubts?”

“I believe so.”

“Good. Now I guess we can go back to work. Well!” he barked turning to class, “What are you waiting for? Go back to work! Now!”

Snape couldn’t place what exactly but something was definitely taking place. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe that Lucius came to see him moreover wanted to see him so much that he decided to stay during his class. Something was going on and it involved Potter. And that was strange. Extremely strange and intriguing. And he wanted to find out what that was all about.

Harry was breathing heavily. He couldn’t believe that he just threatened Lucius Malfoy in front of the class full of Slytherins and still was alive. Now he was really scared but at the same time he liked that feeling. That feeling of power.

Lucius meanwhile was coming back to his senses as well. He was impressed and astonished. And he felt the power that was coming from Harry. It was addicting, it was perfect and he wanted more.

Harry was again standing with his back to Lucius and Lucius put his hands on Harry’s hips making him gasp. He leaned close to his ear almost brushing him and said in a dangerous and commanding voice:

“Now listen to me, kitten. Or should I call you tiger? You seem to have quite a temper. Though I knew it already.”

His hands were painfully digging into Harry’s hips and he started biting his lip to stop yelps of pain. Harry was sure that Lucius would kill him after the stunt he just pulled and he was very surprised that Lucius had another topic on his mind.

“I don’t like the fact that you spend so much time with that mudblood witch of yours, Ms. Granger. And do you know what I do when I don’t like something or someone. When this something touches what belongs to me?”

“I’m sure you are going to tell me” answered emboldened Harry.

“Indeed I will tell you. I get rid of it, love. As simple as that.”

And he clicked his fingers. Harry gasped.

“You wouldn’t”

“Oh yes I would. With great pleasure I might add.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t belong to you.”

“That’s what you think. And I can assure you that you are dearly mistaken.”

“You can’t tell me what where how and with whom to spend my time”

“I can and I will and I think I am doing it right now.”

“Hermione is my friend.”

“I can only imagine what a pity it would be to lose her.”

“What do you want?”

“Apart from you? Well, let’s think. I’d like to meet with you preferably tonight.”

“And you won’t hurt her.”

“In Malfoy Manor at midnight.”

Harry snorted.

“You must be kidding me. I am so not going anywhere near your Manor.”

“Tut, tut, tut.”

And before Harry knew what happened Lucius grabbed his hand and placed something on his finger. Still holding Harry by the hand he chanted something under his breath and immediately an explosion that haven’t graced the Potions classroom since Neville’s last potions lesson filled the dungeon. At that very moment when all the classroom was covered in walls of smoke and dust and you could hardly distinguish yourself Lucius pressed tight against Harry and gasped.

A tight feeling filled his chest. A knot that bound his heart. It grew tighter and tighter and for a moment he couldn’t breathe. Lucius was shell-shocked. It wasn’t supposed to happen so fast. It never did before.

He stepped aside and he could swear he heard Harry mewl. Sweet Salazar, it effects him so fast. But it can’t be. But he heard Harry say “Closer” in a whisper and moved back to his previous position. The room was still full of smoke and they couldn’t be seen by anyone. Suddenly he was pushed back but before Harry could run away Lucius took him by his waist and by the arm and pulling him to his chest whispered in his ear:

“The ring I placed on your finger is a Portkey. Today at midnight you will be transported to Malfoy Manor.”

Then he took Harry’s hand and kissed him on the finger where his ring shone.

“See you soon, love” and glided away.

He needed to think.