In My Mind

Disclaimer: Refer to previous chapters.

A/N: I know I\'ve been a bad, bad author and haven\'t updated like I should. *hangs head in shame* Please accept this chapter of fluff as my apology.

Shaddow: That was actually a really good idea, but he does something a bit different.

antipyro: Him staying is dubious at best, but you find out this chapter. lol I think you\'ll be pleasantly surprised. *winks*

Hambares: You see it too, eh? Just wait till you read this chapter. lol

angel: I\'ve updated, but it wasn\'t nearly as soon as I wanted to!!!

Zak: OMG! You had a time there, didn\'t you?!? I\'m glad you got a new laptop, though. I started to miss you!!

LAST TIME:

Severus snorted. “And I suppose that you plan on having all of this with me because you speak of more children knowing that it was our…openness that created Duncan?”

Harry ran his thumb across Severus’ pale knuckle. “I can only hope that I could build that future with you, Sev. If I can’t, then I’m sure being who I am that I could adopt. Regardless, I’d like five children. I’m not trying to push you into anything you don’t want. It’s not fair for me to do that to you, besides, I wouldn’t do that to someone that I love. You deserve to live your life the way you want to now just as I do.”

Severus looked down at the young man tenderly caressing his hand. For the first time in his life, Severus really didn’t know what he wanted.

Taking a deep breath, the professor finally made his admission to Harry. “I am still…unsure as to what I want now that the war is over. It has consumed my whole adult life and I truly did not see myself surviving the end. You must understand, Harry that I have a life of freedom ahead of me that I did not prepare for.”

Harry patted his hand. “That makes two of us, Sev. This is not what I expected either. I always lived in the moment because planning for an uncertain future was always too painful for me.” He looked at his watch, “I suppose it’s getting rather late.”

“It is indeed and I must be up early to continue my potions research. I suppose that I should leave,” Severus stated as he pulled his hand out from under Harry’s.

The former Gryffindor made a quick decision and laid his hand on the other man’s arm. “I’m probably being forward and I don’t want to scare you, but you don’t have to leave.”

Harry always wore his heart on his sleeve. As Severus looked at him, he saw love, hope, and adoration. Not once in his life had anyone ever looked at him as his love was now. Something in his chest swelled until it was hard for him to breathe. He cupped Harry’s cheek and the young man closed his beautiful eyes and leaned into it. “It would not be prudent for me to stay tonight, Harry, but if the invitation is open then maybe at a later date.”

The emotion in Severus’ voice belied his words. He wanted nothing more in his life than to stay. He wanted to hold Harry and see that look in his eyes for the rest of the night, forever. He wanted to sit propped up on the head of the bed with his arms around Harry, feeling the baby move. Severus knew that if he stayed any longer, he’d not leave. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Harry’s. The kiss was sweet, much sweeter than the one they’d previously shared. That same look was in those emerald eyes when they opened. “Everything that I have and more are yours if you want it, Severus. You are welcome in my home and in my heart any time of the day or the night.”

Harry pulled him down into another soft kiss before walking him to the door. “I’ll be here if you need me or if you just need a quiet place. Also, I have an appointment with Madame Pomfrey in a little over a week so I’ll be at the castle. Do you want me to owl you the date and time just in case you’d like to be there?”

“I would like that, Harry,” Severus said when a smile that quickly turned into a smirk, “But, don’t you send your bloody owl before dawn or she’ll be potions ingredients.”

Laughing, Harry agreed with the older man and said goodnight. He really wasn’t tired, so he floo’d Remus. The werewolf was sitting on the couch with his lover Bill Weasley talking when Harry’s head popped into the hearth.

“Hey, Remy can I step through?”

Remus knew that tonight was Harry’s date night with Severus, and that it was still rather early. Immediately, he just knew that something had gone wrong. “Sure, cub, I’ll catch you.”

Harry’s head disappeared and in just a minute, he stumbled through the hearth into Remus’ arms. “Is everything alright?” The werewolf asked seriously.

A beaming Harry nodded. “Everything’s wonderful, Remy. Well, no, if everything were wonderful I would be in the bed, not by myself here at Grimmauld. But, I’m not sad or upset or anything, so it was a good night.”

Hermione took that moment to walk through the door with a bowl of ice cream, covered in chocolate sauce. She waved at her best friend as she stuck another spoonful in her mouth. “What are you doing here, Herms?”

She sighed as she plopped down in the floor, leaning against the chair near the couch. “Between Molly, Ron, and Ginny, they kept the floo at my parents busy wanting to ‘talk’ to me. I just had to get away. It seems that only the twins and Bill here are sane Weasley’s.”

Harry looked longingly at the ice cream bowl in her hands, knowing that he couldn’t have any. “Let me guess, none of them would take your answer as to why you didn’t want to get married to Ron right now.”

“Exactly,” she said around the spoon in her mouth. When she swallowed she elaborated. “They all refused to believe that the only reason I said no is because I have six more years to apprentice to become a Medi-Witch and I didn’t want to have to deal with a marriage and undoubtedly children while I’m trying to get my career going. Ron kept spouting off about there being someone else.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “That’s not surprising,” he said. “So, what are you going to do, hide out here forever?”

She laughed. “Not a chance. I’ve got to meet with Poppy in a few days so that I can finally begin my hands-on training. I won’t be just brewing potions and stuff like that anymore. I’ll be learning diagnostic spells and how to re-set bones and all kinds of interesting things! What about you, Harry? How are things coming with Severus?”

Throwing Hermione a panicked look he answered, “Snape and I are as we always were.”

Bill and Remus laughed. “Bill knows, Harry, and he thinks along the same lines that I do,” Remus said in his fatherly tone.

“He came over tonight and I cooked for him,” Harry said with a smile. “We sat out in the garden and talked. I think he’s coming around. I just wish he’d hurry up.”

Hermione draped her arm around her friend’s shoulder. “You know how difficult Professor Snape can be, Harry. He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. I mean, he loves you and it’s too good to be true for him that you might love him back.”

He leaned into her embrace. “I’m so glad one of my best friends is a girl. What would I do without your innate girl wisdom?”

Hermione giggled but did not respond. The friends sat there for some time chatting with each other and Remus and Bill, not really worried about the time.

Harry and Hermione floo’d back to his Cottage just after midnight. She borrowed one of his long night shirts and a blanket and settled in on his couch. He tried to convince her that his bed was big enough for them both, but Hermione would not hear of it. She was convinced that if anyone found them that it would only turn out bad, even if he was pregnant and gay.

It turned out that Hermione was right. Before 8AM, Severus had his potions set to simmer and decided to cook breakfast for Harry. He walked into the cottage and immediately noticed the bushy brown hair sticking out from under the gray blanket on the couch.

Sighing that his plans were now ruined, Severus stepped into Harry’s room. He smiled at the sight that greeted his eyes. Harry, only clad in Ravenclaw blue sleep pants, lay sprawled out across his queen sized bed, the quilt thrown off of him. Anyone could see his normally flat stomach distending nicely from the growing child, and the fading stretch marks. He’d been using the salve Severus had given him.

After a few moments, he stepped over to the bed and sat on the edge. Harry rolled toward the weight on the edged of his bed thinking it was Hermione coming to wake him. When a large hand cupped his cheek, Harry smiled and his eyes fluttered open. “Morning,” he whispered.

Severus looked down at the person he loved more than anything. “Good morning,” he replied.

Neither said anything else and Harry wiggled closer to him, curling around his sitting form as a cat might, well, as well as a pregnant man can, anyway. Severus leaned down and unzipped his boots, pulling them off. He pushed Harry back to give himself enough room to lie on the bed and removed his robes. When he settled against the headboard, he pulled Harry close. The younger man’s head rested on Severus’ chest.

“I could get used to this, you know,” Harry whispered, not wanting to break the moment.

“I hope that it will not take too long for you to,” Severus replied, saying what he needed to without actually saying it.

Harry’s heart skipped a beat. He looked into Severus’ shining eyes. “You want to give us a chance?”

Nodding, the other man answered, “Indeed I do. I believe that it would be good for us both to have some sort of companionship. No matter what happens we will be everlastingly connected through Duncan, so we should get to know each other better now, before he comes along.”

Harry simply made a contented noise and snuggled closer. He was eternally happy to have Severus by his side. He knew that it wouldn’t take long for the older man to come around. “Thank you,” Harry whispered

They laid there for some time, neither speaking, just offering and accepting the companionship they both so longed for. Severus had begun to doze lightly when Harry sat up and sniffed. “Herms is cooking breakfast,” the younger man said excitedly.

He finally got Severus up and in his boots with his robe hanging open and Harry himself threw on a dressing gown. “I bet she made me a vegetarian omelet,” Harry said with glee as he waddled down the stairs.

“Smells good, Herms,” Harry said as he greeted his best friend with a kiss on the cheek. “You didn’t have to cook this morning. You are, after all, a guest.”

“I’m as much a guest here as we are that the Burrow, Harry, everyone knows that, besides, I knew that you and Professor Snape had some things to work out so I figured that I’d just make us all breakfast. Professor, would you like coffee or tea this morning?” She asked, smiling at her former professor.

He was unsure what to make of her attitude toward him. He’d been unbearably cruel to her for seven years and she was asking him if he wanted coffee or tea now? Severus was sure that she’d lost her mind. Harry brought him out of his musings as he pressed a steaming hot cup of coffee into his hands.

“Herms makes the best coffee,” Harry said as he took a sip from his own cup. “Is that an omelet? It smells like an omelet!”

Hermione chuckled. “Of course it’s an omelet, Harry. It’s got tomatoes, parsley, a pinch each of basil and rosemary, mushrooms, onions, garlic, and pimento, just how you like them.”

Snape sat at the table and watched the two friends maneuver around each other with Harry making toast and scrambling eggs for his friend and Severus.

Breakfast was an interesting affair, to say the least. Hermione really was just more than a bookworm and a know-it-all. Like most women, she could see where things were going between the two from the beginning. She saw the look of longing that Severus tried to shutter away when he looked at Harry. She saw the unabashed looks of Harry had been giving the professor since he’d been back in the land of the conscious. Hermione decided that things were progressing exactly as they should and she smiled.

“What are you grinning at, Herms?” Harry asked.

“Nothing,” she replied cryptically.

Harry leveled his gaze on her. “It’s never nothing when your eyes get all glassy and you space out.”

“You’re right, it is something, but it will have to wait,” she answered with a smirk. “Right now, I have dishes to do, and then I’m going to shower. You and Severus go into the sitting room. I’m sure you two still have a few things to discuss.”

Harry rolled his eyes and cleared his and Severus’ plates from the table as Hermione set the dishes to washing. The two men walked into the sitting room (well, Harry waddled) and Severus took the chair while his young counterpart took his place on the sofa, stretched out like a cat lounging.

The young man closed his eyes and smiled as he rubbed the child growing in his belly. “Duncan enjoys his Auntie Herms’ cooking. If she weren’t so intent upon getting through with her healing apprenticeship, I’d keep her here full time just to cook.”

Harry laughed at this as Duncan gave him a gentle kick in agreement. Severus saw the look of contentment on his young love’s face and smiled himself. Harry suddenly got serious again. “Severus, are you going to be able to come to my appointment with Poppy next week?”

“Do you think I would miss it?”

Harry beamed up at the other man. “No, I didn’t, but I have another question to ask you and I don’t know how you will react. With the exception of those who already know, is there anyone else that you’d like to tell? I mean, people are going to know eventually and…”

Severus held up his hand. “I have already expressed my wish for you not to tarnish your reputation by being associated with me, Harry. Obviously, you are just as hard-headed as I, but I feel that it would be best if we kept my identity a secret until Duncan is born.”

Nodding in understanding, Harry didn’t reply. Before he could change the subject, though, Hedwig came flying in with a beautiful Raven closely behind her. Both were carrying scrolls. The snowy owl perched on the arm of the couch by Harry’s head and gave a low hoot as he extracted the parchment. She watched the Raven as it landed on Severus’ shoulder and nuzzled his cheek before presenting its leg for him to remove the scroll. He murmured his thanks to the bird and Hedwig hooted before flying upstairs to her perch. The graceful Raven followed.

Harry quirked an eyebrow at Severus who, it appeared, blushed, and untied the scroll. A small parchment fell from around the larger one with recognizable loopy handwriting of Albus Dumbledore across it. The note was the same for both explaining that he redirected their invitations directly to them because the owls that carried them couldn’t find them.

“A Ministry ball?” Severus asked

“Just wonderful! I thought being inside my mind for two months might have got me out of these things. It says that I have to be there, too. I’m the guest of honor,” Harry added with a groan.

Severus frowned. “You aren’t the only one, Harry. Apparently, I am also being honored.”

It was Harry’s turn to frown. “That’s interesting. I wonder what they’ve got up their sleeves.”

At that moment, the floo connection flared and Remus’ head appeared in the flame. He smiled at the two men and stepped through. “Gotten any owls this morning, Harry?” he asked as he kissed the young man’s cheek and sat on the couch beside him.

“We got Hedwig and a raven,” Harry replied looking at Snape. “It seems that the Ministry owls couldn’t find us and delivered the letters to the Headmaster.”

“Bill and I both got one this morning, too, and I brought the one for Hermione. It appears that this big gala is honoring quite a few people then.”

“So, are you and Bill going together?” Harry asked, nudging Remus in the ribs.

The werewolf laughed. “Of course we are you know Molly wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Hermione walked into the room as she cast a drying spell on her hair. With a hello and a kiss to Remus’ cheek, she sat on the other side of Harry. Remus’ reaction was the same as the last time he’d been kissed by her; he blushed. “What makes you blush so, Remus?” she asked.

He simply turned a deeper shade of red. “I…you’re a girl.”

The young woman shook her head. “This from a man who snogs Bill Weasley on the couch, in the sitting room with the floo open and doesn’t even pause when someone walks in. No ‘sorry’, no embarrassment, he doesn’t even stop!”

Severus began to laugh at the exchange. He didn’t really know why, but he found the whole situation highly amusing. The other three soon joined in. In no time they were discussing what they would all be wearing to the ball in just over a week. They also all decided to meet at Harry’s cottage for lunch that day.

The next week flew by for Harry for no discernable reason. It was the morning of the Ministry Ball and it was also the day of Harry’s appointment. He woke before the sun began to rise and dressed before walking out to his garden to calm his nerves. The beautiful raven from the week before swooped down and landed on the bench Harry was lounging on. It cawed before it stuck out its leg to him. He opened the note with a smile, recognizing the spiky handwriting immediately.

Harry,

Poppy informed me last night that you would be here before nine for your appointment. I would like for you to come to breakfast with me in my chambers, if possible, so we may go see her together. Please send a missive back with my Asphodel. I’ve instructed her to stay with you until you reply.

SS

Harry laughed. He looked at the Raven and stuck his arm out. “Come on, Sev’s sweet Asphodel,” he said as the Raven fluttered up to his arm. “Let’s go find something to write with and a bit of fruit for you.”

He sent the raven off just as the sun’s rays broke the horizon. He drank another cup of tea, waiting for the bird to deliver the message before setting off down the short path to the castle.

Harry pushed the door to the castle open and instantly, Dobby appeared. “Mr. Harry Potter, sir!” the little elf squeaked as he threw himself around Harry’s left leg. “It is being a long time since you came to see Dobby.”

The house elf touched Harry’s large stomach and his large green eyes got larger. “Oh, Mr. Harry Potter! You are eating enough for the little Potter-Snape. He is being a strong wizard when he is born.”

Harry chuckled. “Indeed he will be, Dobby. It is so very good to see you. Can you show me where Professor Snape’s quarters are?”

Dobby led Harry through the dungeons and the two talked. Harry invited the house elf over to his cottage on its day off and of course, Dobby was moved almost to tears. They finally reached the portrait that guarded Severus’ chambers, and Harry was surprised that instead of a portrait of Salazar Slytherin, there stood a portrait of the god Pan playing his flute under a large tree.

When Harry knocked, the door opened quickly and a nervous Severus stood there with Asphodel on his shoulder. He beamed up at the dark man and stepped inside. Asphodel made a low sound and immediately flew down to Harry’s shoulder and nuzzled his cheek. Severus looked positively alarmed. “Good morning, Harry,” he said kissing the younger man’s other cheek. “I see that you have already made a friend this morning.”

They made their way to the table in the small dining room. Severus had several different bowls of fruit set out, some hash browns, two pieces of bacon (for himself), and Harry a vegetarian omelet. Like the gentleman that he could be, Severus pulled the chair out for Harry and they began breakfast. They talked about the check-up later that morning and of the Ball that night. The two decided that it would be best to arrive together with Hermione, Remus, and all of the Weasleys, but not ‘together’.

Finally, it was time to go to the infirmary. Asphodel would not budge from Harry’s shoulder where she’d been the whole time, nuzzling at his face and neck, between bites of fruit and sips of juice. When Severus could do nothing to move her, Harry turned his head toward her and smiled. “Sweetest Asphodel you must listen to your keeper,” he said stroking her chest. “I don’t think that Madame Pomfrey will let you stay with me while I am being checked. If you wish, you may visit Hedwig and I whenever you are out.”

The bird nodded and flew back to her perch. Severus just stood there watching the exchange. “Even my ruddy familiar loves you, Potter, and she hates everyone, even Albus. It really is sickening.”

Harry just laughed and proceeded on toward the infirmary. It took Poppy little more than half an hour to run all of the tests she needed to run, and then she did something surprising. She made Harry lie back and relax as Severus held his hand. Making a complicated wand movement, she whispered a string of Latin and before their very eyes there was a three-dimensional image of Duncan. “Is that…” Harry choked out pointing.

Poppy smiled and nodded as she noticed Severus squeeze the hand he held of Harry’s. “That is your son. This is a fairly new charm, but if he’s awake and moves, you will be able to see it.”

The men beamed at each other, then Severus bent close to Harry’s stomach, laid his large hand on it, and spoke softly, “Duncan, this is your father. Would you move for me, little one?”

The baby in the image didn’t move, exactly. Duncan had been sleeping, and his chin rose minutely, but not enough for Harry to feel it. What caught everyone’s attention was the fact that the child blinked several times. Harry burst into tears at this. “He still remembers, Sev.”

“Indeed his does, Harry,” Severus replied blinking back tears of his own.

Both men left the infirmary elated. They’d gotten the first glimpse of their son since Harry had awakened. They walked back down to Severus’ chambers with Harry talking animatedly. Once inside, Severus swept Harry up and into a passionate kiss, leaving the other man breathless. “What was that for?”

Severus smiled and ran his thumb down Harry’s cheek. “I wasn’t sure about fatherhood until we got to see Duncan. I’m honored that you would name him after me.”

Again, tears welled up in Harry’s eyes. “You can’t believe how I’ve wanted to hear you say those words, Sev.”

They spent the rest of the morning on the well worn couch in Severus’ chambers discussing Duncan and how they would tell the world about their child’s parentage. At eleven, Harry floo’d back to his cottage to make lunch for his guests.

The floo flared at a quarter till and Remus, Bill, and Hermione all stepped through. Immediately, Harry was ushered to the kitchen table, protesting the whole time, as Remus and Hermione finished the meal. It was only another few moments before Severus knocked on the door.

They sat down to a pork loin with roasted potatoes, a large salad, and pudding for dessert. Hermione brought up the subject of Harry’s appointment, stopping all conversation at the table. “So, what did Poppy have to say about Duncan this morning? It everything going well?”

Severus almost choked on his wine as Harry beamed at his friend through his tears. “We got to see him, Hermione!” Harry gushed. “Poppy did this thing and it showed us a picture! He blinked! Can you believe it? We saw him blink!”

Remus and Bill both smiled softly at Harry’s reaction. Hermione looked at her friend in awe. “Poppy did the imago charm? Oh Harry that’s wonderful!”

Harry shook his head. “No, what made it so wonderful was that Sev was the one who made him do it. He talked to him and Duncan blinked!”

Bill touched Remus’ arm and pointedly looked at Severus. The dark haired wizard was silently watching Harry with love shining in his eyes. “It was an enlightening experience,” Snape interjected, emotion coloring his voice.

The afternoon went by entirely too quickly for everyone, and soon everyone but Hermione was leaving. Ron was going to meet her at Harry’s and the trio was going to arrive together at the Ministry.

At six-thirty Ron walked through the door of the cottage looking exceptionally handsome in dress robes of dark blue. He found Harry in his room standing in front of the mirror holding up a pale gray robe and a deep green one, with a brown one lying on his bed. “Wear the green one, Harry. Remus is wearing a brown one almost identical to the one on your bed,” he said.

He turned around and looked at his friend. “Ron!” Harry exclaimed. “It’s been ages! How have you been?” Waddling over to his friend, Harry grabbed him in a tight bear hug.

The two young men talked quietly as Harry finished getting dressed. Hermione stepped in wearing a robe of the palest pink. She saw Ron and froze, even as Ron did the same. Neither knew how hard it would be to see the other after their big fight. “Ron,” she said stiffly.

The tall red head sighed. “I’m sorry Hermione, for everything.”

Harry smirked. “I’ll go make us some tea.”

Hermione wanted to protest his leaving, but Harry swept past her and gave her a look that clearly stated that she should listen to Ron.

When they finally came out of the bedroom, it was almost time to leave, but they were holding hands. Harry was glad that they’d finally decided to make up.

Hermione showed him the modest diamond ring that she wore, and Ron hastily explained that he’d rather have her promised to him now than to lose her forever.

When they made their way into the Ministry, Harry was immediately accosted by the press and many different versions of ‘Who is the father of your baby?’ were asked. He simply smiled, waved, and played the part of He-Who-Saved-Us-All perfectly. Finally, though, his patience began to wane. He held up his hand to quiet the media. “Do you have nothing better to report than who the other father of my child is? You would only have more questions if I told you he were dead. There would be some kind of a circus were I to tell you he was a Death Eater.” At this, everyone gasped in horror and then began to scribble notes down on parchment. “This ball is not about me. It is not about my child, or who his other father could be. This ball is about heroes. It’s about recognizing those who sacrificed themselves, their lives, and their families for each and every one of you. It’s about those who lost someone and those who were lost. It’s about the fact that we, as citizens, pulled together and did not let the darkness reign. That is what tonight is about, so I would kindly ask that you not ask me another damn question about my child. When I want you to know, I will call Luna Lovegood, and you can all read it in the Quibbler.”

He swept past the stunned reporters with Ron and Hermione flanking him. Harry took his place at the head table next to Severus who turned toward him and said, “I do not believe that I have ever seen you shut your adoring public up quite like that, Harry.”

“Hormones,” he mumbled in reply causing his two friends, seated opposite Severus, to chuckle.

The evening went fairly well with the Minister droning on about…something, Harry quit paying attention. When it was finally time to eat, Harry was alarmed at the sheer amount of meat and animal products on the table. Everything was covered in cheese or had bits of meat in it. He wisely chose to nibble on a piece of crusty bread and eat a few peas.

Duncan also became active later in the evening, much to his discomfort. Harry finally had had enough. He was hungry and hurting, so he excused himself amidst many cheers and much adulation. The worry on Severus’ face was evident to one reporter, though. Her lips curled in a frightening smile as she watched him escort the young pregnant man from the Ministry.

The next morning, Harry was awakened at daylight by the front door of his cottage slamming shut and Severus stomping in. His face was contorted with rage and quite frankly, the man looked as though he could murder someone with his bare hands. “Look,” he growled as he held out the Daily Prophet. Harry scrambled for his glasses and paled at the front page headline. “DEATH EATER FATHER NOT FAR FROM TRUTH,” it read. Under it there was a picture of Severus escorting Harry from the Ball.

“I’m going to be sick,” Harry said as he clambered from the bed and into the bathroom.

TBC...

A/N2: Let me know what you think!! Also, for the other authors and Harry/Snape fins out there, I have a LJ group. *squees* I haven\'t figured out how to do url\'s here yet and make them link up, so here\'s the addy, just copy and paste.

http://www.livejournal.com/community/hot_snarry_sex/ I\'d love to see you all join!!!