The Secret Diary of Severus Snape

Title: The Secret Diary of Severus Snape (Entr59-759-75)
Author: Mimine (mimine101@hotmail.com)
Rating: Big fat NC-17
Warnings: Slightly chan, bit of teacher-student, a tad kinky.
Pairing: Various Snape pairings, mostly Snape/Evan Rosier in this one.
Notes: My enormous gratitude to Roo and Fara for their beta reading and to Chaffongal for her encouragement. All the mistakes are mine.

Date format is dd/mm/yyyy

18/2/1976
It hurts. It hurts so much I can’t breathe. I don’t want to be feeling like this. I keep telling myself that being away from Lucius is for the best.

I took the Draught of the Living Dead just to get some sleep last night. I was tempted to make a minor alteration as I was preparing it. I’m low on laudanum so I’d have to use all of it. I already feel as though I’ve swallowed a dissolving solution, there’s no need for a messy, painful death.

A potion. You go from sleep to death. I thought of slitting my wrists but unless I beg a prefect for the password to their bathroom I’ll never have enough privacy to do it.

Hanging myself is not so bad, at least I’d get one last orgasm out of it but I wouldn’t know how to start making a noose. I guess I could, it can’t be that hard but again, for privacy reasons it would have to be a lesser used dungeon. Which means that it could be a while before I was discovered, hanged and rotting. Not to mention that the person to discover me would almost certainly be Filch. I wouldn’t want to do this to him.

Jumping in the lake and attempting to drown would probably fail or result in some ridiculous death like becoming the giant squid’s lunch. Not much of a tragic funeral if there is not body to bury.

And then there’s falling. Only up on the Astronomy Tower even my strongest Alohomora can’t open the windows. I really wouldn’t want to fall from the Astronomy Tower anyway. Who knows what I’ll look like after hitting the ground.

I have to look good. What follows the scene of my suicide is my funeral and in it they all look at me and realise what they have lost. Lucius is inconsolable. My father weeps discreetly and wishes he had told me he cared for me. It’s too late now. Evan is crying, feeling guilty that we fought, guilty that he didn’t see hod thd things were although he was supposed to be my friend. They are all mourning me and I look down at them triumphant. “There! That will show you!”

These pathetic tears I’m shedding for myself now are all I’m going to get. Why can’t I accept that? And while I’m at it I’d better also accept that I’m not going to kill myself. I can’t stop myself from hoping that things will get better. I’m too scared of what’s on the other side. Would I even make it to the other side at all? Very few students know this but the Bloody Baron is covered in his own blood. He told me he had welcomed death but that too had been taken away from him along with everything else.

Avery again… He doesn’t want to interrupt me but this is the third time he’s poked his head inside for a quick look. I should let him do some of his homework himself, he can’t expect me to be there at his OWLs holding his hand.

I’ll help him anyway. It’s not really his fault. Quidditch takes up almost all of his time. Losing to Ravenclaw could push us so far back we might never recover.

Why do I care about Avery’s essays and bloody Quidditch? My broken heart is nothing like I had expected it to be.

21/2/1976
Father still hasn’t paid the full amount for this year. His tax statement dot jut justify free attendance no matter how he whines over being poor. Jigger took me aside and let me know. At least he was discreet about it. I used to get nightmares of having it announced in class. Somehow the thought of getting kicked out of Hogwarts doesn’t frighten me as much as it could have before. No Hogwarts, no Lucius, no shifting in my chest whenever my eyes fall on him.

I kept running into him today. He looked like he wanted to tell me something but I couldn’t bear to look at him. I left and managed to avoid him for the rest of the day.

22/2/1976
Lucius caught up with me after breakfast. I was on my way to Transfiguration with the usual spring in my step going to my least favourite class. Avery was by my side, asking me last minute questions about the previous night’s reading. Unlike me, he’s good in practice but the theory seems to go in one ear and out the other.

Avery’s eyes narrowed when he spotted Lucius coming up to us, Stefan right behind him. Avery stepped in front of me.

“Wh… what do you want, Malfoy?”

My stuttering knight in shining armour… At least he’s not like Evan, attacking first and asking questions later.

“Piss off, Avery.”

I told him to go. I didn’t like the gleam in Lucius’ eyes. Stefan was standing right behind him. I didn’t tell him to go anywhere.

I don’t remember all of Lucius’ accusations. The gist was that I was fucking Avery, I was fucking everyone, and Lucius wondered whether I could fit him into my busy schedule.

“Stefan doesn’t have to be there,” he added magnanimously. “I understand that you want it to be just you and me. Though you did have fun, didn’t you? That was obvious.”

I hated him that moment for reminding me. I wanted him dead. I felt my anger rise within me, a heat spreading all over my body as accidental magic crackled around me. He took a step back.

“I’ll fuck anyone I want. Avery, Rosier… the whole fucking school if I feel like it. And you won’t touch me again. Do you hear me? Never.” I managed to say it all without raising my voice.

I wish I had simply left then. The way he was looking at me was just… He scared me. He made me want to take it all back and just pretend nothing had happened. At least he didn’t try to laugh it off. I don’t think anyone had ever spoken to him like that before.

He leaned until he was nose to nose with me.

“Who do you think you are? I did you a favour, you little shit!” There was more but I turned to leave. I ged bed back. He just stood there dumbfounded. He made as if to follow me but Stefan grabbed him and whispered something to him.

At least I do know now that I don’t need to kill myself to get Lucius to cry for me. Stefan quickly hid him from sight but I know what I saw. Lucius swiftly wiped on his cheeks with the back of his hand… He looked so shocked!

It would be easier to just give in but I can’t trust him anymore. And I know that he wants me back now but what would come next? Ignoring me when we’re not alone, sharing me with his friends? I can be alone. I’m better off alone.

The rest of the day passed in a daze. I could feel Lucius’ eyes on me in Defence. I wished I was back with my year even if it would mean facing Potter and Black in yet another class instead of just their pet prefect. Speaking of my partner, we had to practice blocking hexes today. Lupin threw some good one and I had several close calls but I managed to make it through the class unscathed.

On the other hand, Rabastan ended up in the Infirmary. Lucius’ final hex was so strong it blasted away Rabastan’s counterspell.

Enough, I have Avery’s Transfiguration essay to write. It’s the last one I’m writing for him. From now on I’ll help him if he needs help but he should do the work himself.

24/2/1976
Father sent me an owl. He said I should go to Jigger and ask him for payment for assisting him in his work. He’s not going to have his son working as a potions assistant and not get paid. Jigger has asked me to help him on some occasions but I’d hardly say that I’m his assistant… I didn’t mention it to father so Jigger obviously did. Now he only sent half of the tuition he still owed and says I should work for the rest.

I would feel better about this if I didn’t know that father has the money. I must be careful with the money I’ve saved from my potions trafficking. He might make me pay for the rest of my schooling.

25/2/1976
I went to Jigger. It took him a while to open his door. He looked odd, a bit flushed and there was a substantial something I noticed before he quickly adjusted his robes. And unless he’s taken to wearing lipstick, a certain someone no longer had any on her lips.

It all added up when a cat stormed past me as I was entering Jigger’s office. A tabby.

This is too disgusting to contemplate any further… I can only guess that Jigger is very hard up.

I explained my situation and he seemed very understanding. It will be good to get one worry out of my head. He will need to make arrangements with the headmaster first but it should be fine.

27/2/1976
I hadn’t even thought about sex since the debacle but yesterday I couldn’t stop myself. In my daydream I was facedown on the bed getting a nice hard fucking. I didn’t turn to look but I know it was Lucius. My subconscious is still very much in love.

I need to have sex with someone else. That way when I think about it I won’t automatically think of Lucius. Or Stefan. I should find someone who can take it as good as he gives. I’d like to finally have a go on top.

My fingers felt very inadequate. I had raised my legs and fumbled down there, pressing hard inside. It wasn’t the same, not the slide of a body on top of mine or a nice hard prick going deep in my guts.

I wanked for what felt like ages. It used to take just a couple of strokes and I’d be done but now my body needs all sorts of different touches in order to respond.

If I can’t wank anymore what am I going to do? Perhaps I should give Avery a try. Evan doesn’t want to be around me anymore, Lestrange has started to show a nice healthy interest in the opposite sex (and if he’s seeing who I think he’s seeing she will cut off my nuts and feed them to me if I set my sights on her Rodolphus). I don’t know any of the others well enough to approach them safely.

I don’t fancy Avery (at least I don’t fancy him when he’s not up on the air playing Quidditch and shagging on a broom sounds nice and exotic but is not it the list of things I’d like to try in the near future). As I was saying I don’t fancy Avery most of the time so that would be on the plus side as well. No complications.

2/3/1976
I told McGonagall to fuck off today. Black hexed me… a nice franca lingualis hex, and I told her what I think of her in no uncertain terms. If it weren’t for the points taken from Slytherin I wouldn’t mind too much.

I wasn’t paying much attention in class. I was staring at Avery and thinking how I’d go about seducing him. She asked me what I could tell her about Salonius’ theory about energy loss during counter-transfigurations.

I felt the hex but there wasn’t much I could do. I told her that the theory was utter bollocks. Then I told her that that fucking bastarack ack hexed me. Lastly I told her to fuck off. In fact my exact words were:

“Fuck off you fucking cow. I’ve had enough of this. For Merlin’s sake do get a good shag! Perhaps a Gryffindor would be brave enough for the task! Slytherins usually have better taste than this!”

I think my mention of having practically caught her at it with Jigger the other day was what did it her.her. She cast a Silencio on me (about time, she had taken more than 40 points by then).

I apologised to the others. They said it was a pity about the points but didn’t really blame me. Not to my face, anyway.

I have detention with Filch. He’s been instructed to do his worst with me. Flogging is out of the question, as much as Filch would have liked that. I caught the tail end of when that particular punishment was still in practice and it wasn’t really that bad. In fact, thinking about it now, I almost wish it was still the done thing. There’s something quite liberating about corporeal punishment. You take the pain but you know that that’s it, you debt is paid. It’s over.

I could ask for it but I don’t think Filch would let me pull down my pants and bend over in front of him. I’m not 12 anymore.

3/3/1976
I just got back from detention. Filch didn’t make me work of course. Nor did he flog me.

He asked me how I’d ended up in detention. He had a laughing fit when I told him. Made me tell him twice. The second time I laughed along with him.

He’d put his arm around my shoulders and he laughed and laughed… He couldn’t breathe. I liked the feeling. That almost hug. Not in a sexual way… it just felt nice to be touched. Father doesn’t allow it.

Potter and his cronies laugh at me for being friendly with Filch. Meaning that I’m so pathetic the caretaker is my friend. I don’t care what they say. Filch is my friend.

We went to one of the lesser used dungeons to talk business. He hesitated before opening the door and I asked him what the matter was.

He blushed. “Stupid brats coming down here… nearly gave me a stroke yesterday with that…”

He stopped abruptly, blushing even harder. I was staring at him, trying to understand what he was on about when I got it. A flash of knowledge I shouldn’t have. I’ve gotten it before at random, like when Avery was telling us his mother had had one of “her funny turns” and I saw her staggering drunk, slapping him and then ordering him out of her room. He hadn’t told us much about it at the time. No one knew about his mother’s problem then. I certainly didn’t and yet I saw it clear as day. And he more or less confirmed it later on to Evan and me when his parents separated.

I don’t know whether I should trust the image I got from Filch. Perhaps I imagined it. I’ve been thinking about Lucius a lot. Filch probably saw someone else not Stefan and Lucius…

It was so vivid! Lucius was on his knees, blindfolded, his hands tied behind his back, and Stefan was on top of him, fucking him, arse squeezing. There was blood on Lucius’ back, scratches and a reddening mark on his shoulder. Probably a bite.

It wasn’t just the image, I felt Filch’s feelings upon walking in on them as well. Shock, embarrassment and intense arousal.

Perhaps it was real. Filch avoided my eyes. He looked scared. I wanted to apologise but stopped myself.

It would be nice to tie up Lucius and fuck him. Theoretically. When I try to picture me doing it, I can’t . As much as I hate him I can’t even imagine myself hurting him, not even if he wanted it.

4/3/1976
The vision I got from Filch was real. It has to be. Evan accidentally confirmed it.

Evan has been trying to make amends with me recently. It isn’t the same, we’re very awkward with each other. Today certainly didn’t help things.

I’d better t att at the beginning. Evan got back from Quidditch practice. I’ve stopped pretending that I’m even a reserve on the stupid team. I’d rather not be on a broom unless I absolutely have to. Professor Wood has been quite nice about it, he more or less told me he won’t fail me in Flying since I’m making an effort. An effort not to fall off my broom, an effort not to be sick and an effort to stay calm as everybody, even my housemates, laugh at me. I don’t practice anymore. Potter and his cronies have lost one of their sources of amusement.

I won’t start on Potter or I’ll never end. I want to see him pay someday. I’d give anything to see him pay.

Evan found me in the Common Room. I was going over some basic stirring theories with Lestrange and Wilkes. Wasting my time, rather. Wilkes was half asleep and Les was gazing past me at the girl we’re not supposed to know he’s been seeing. The lovesick fool!

Avery came in right behind Evan. They were both tired and still wet from the shower. Evan walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“Really, Sev, you should hold off a bit. Lucius couldn’t sit on his broom today. And there are scratches and bites on him… you’d think he’d bedded a wildcat.”

Or something to that extent. All in a cheerful tone. At least he didn’t raise his voice too much.

We had drifted apart lately but I hadn’t realised how much. I had nothing to say. I just turned to leave.

“They’re not together anymore, you wanker,” Avery called back to Evan. Avery followed me to our dormitory. Being very mature about it, I hid fully under the covers and yelled at him to leave me alone. He tried to get me to come out but I wouldn’t. Eventually he left.

Fuck them. I’m not coming out. I’m fine in here. I wish I could stay in here forever.

5/3/1976
Evan apologised to me over and over yesterday for his comment about Lucius until I had to come out if only to get him to shut up. He was barely holding back tears as he was telling me how he hated that Avery knew I’d broken up with Malfoy while he had no idea. I hid the diary and then let him climb into bed with me and share my little haven. He laughed when I told him that I never intended to come out.

We talked for hours. He told me that he has been seeing a boy from a sixth year. Dolohov, he’s a Chaser, a good one. Apparently Evan relieved some pressure for him in the locker room the other day.

But ry… Dy… Dolohov? I don’t know him well but he’s just so… boring. He’s very blond, blonder than Evan and he has a jaw… He’s got quite a jaw. It’s hard to go past that jaw and notice the rest of him. I told Evan and he kicked my shin and told me I was jealous.

I’ll admit that I was a little jealous at the thought of Evan with someone else but I can’t expect him to be running after me forever.

However he did kiss me yesterday, slowly, tongue much more active than I remembered it. Ahen hen he snuck his hand under my nightshirt and I did the same to him. Nothing like a good wank to help you sleep.

8/3/1976
Evan and I are friends again and all is right in the world!

Well, not quite. He insisted on getting me up on a broom to practice flying. Potter and Black showed up after a while. They were a little surprised to find things somewhat more equal. I don’t suppose putting our delicate Lupin or that fat shithead on a broom would have helped them gain the advantage they are used to when bullying me. However they did manage to knock me off my broom. McGonagall seemed to have caught the last of what happened. In fact, me on the ground several feet from my broomstick, cradling my arm. Evan ran to her and started yelling about Potter and Black.

She told him she didn’t see Potter and Black anywhere and we should stop trying to blame everything on Gryffindors. Evan murmured something rather rude under his breath, to judge by naganagall’s expression and by the fact that she took 5 points from Slytherin. Perhaps she really hadn’t seen Potter and Black. None of those prejudiced pricks ever see them and they are never willing to take our word as to what their darlings have been up to.

“Come on, Mr Snape, you’re not dying! It’s only a sprain!” She approached me to take a better look but I pulled back from her. I think I snarled… Gods, that’s embarrassing…

There was something in her expression… Regret? Fear? I’m not sure.

Evan took me to the infirmary, cursing all the way there. Peeves followed us, repeating loudly most of what Evan was saying.

It hurts me that McGonagall is so prejudiced against me. I respect her as a professor. I may be crap at Transfiguration but it is not her fault, she’s good at teaching it.

9/3/1976
I had to listen to Evan plot revenge against the entire Gryffindor House all afternoon in the common room. His plans were rather unimaginative but brutal. I kissed him just to shut him up.

Lestrange passed us and made a disgusted sound. He thumped Evan on the head and said that there were children there.

Evan blushed. I suggested going back to our dormitory but he said he’d promised his sixth-year friend to help him with his Astronomy assignment.

“Oh, yes, he needs help finding Uranus,” I said.

He punched me on the shoulder, yelling that it was nothing like that, then ran off to take a shower.

I was smiling as I went back to my books. Only then I noticed that I was being watched. I turned but Lucius looked away. Bellatrix Black was passing in front of him along with her sister. He pulled them both and sat them one on each arm of his chair. He was flirting with both of them, laughing quite loudly. Next to me Les confirmed my suspicions as to who he has been seeing. He couldn’t take his eyes off of them. ear ears were red and I could see a vein throbbing on his forehead.

Stefan got up and announced that he was bored and was going out, looking pointedly at Lucius. Lucius ignored him. The frog wasn’t too happy about that. He turned to leave and bumped into a first-year. He yelled “Watch where you’re going!” to him and left htandtanding there, dazed.

I left too after a while. My exit was far less dramatic.

10/3/1976
I just got back from Jigger’s office. I’m exhausted. I was there for 5 hours. Jigger was watching me all the time but would look away whenever I turned to face him.

With this job I’ll have no time to brew potions for anyone else. I’m falling behind on my orders. On the plus side I now have much easier access to Jigger’s potions stores. However, I feel very guilty about it. He’s helping me stay in school, I can’t repay him by robbing him blind.

I could repay him another way if he would let me. Perhaps that’s why he kept looking at me.

11/3/1976
Evan received a mysterious package today. I asked him about it but he wouldn’t say. He was mortifiedn sen seeing it at breakfast. It was a small package wrapped in plain brown paper.

Evan will eventually tell me what it was. Perhaps it’s a surprise for me? It doesn’t hurt to dream.

I didn’t think about Lucius at all today. Except for breakfast when he asked me to pass him the pumpkin juice and I got hard.

I’m pathetic…

12/3/1976
Jigger was… That thing was… I don’t know how to describe it. Things were interesting today…

I pretended that I had trouble stirring. Half pretended, really. My photography potion was in that stage when it’s so thick you could lift out of the cauldron. My arms were aching. He grabbed the ladle and helped me stir. He stood next to me but I moved a little until he was right behind me, his groin against my arse. 12 clockwise and aer 1er 12 counterclockwise rubbing against me nice and warm. By the time we were done he was hard, breathing heavily against my ear.

I pressed against him a little longer. All that friction had been nice while we were stirring but there was no excuse to stand so close anymore. I could swear I felt a little wetness seep through his robes to mine. He pushed me away from him.

“That will be enough, Snape. Get out.”

His voice was trembling. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that.

I was hard too. I had a long shower and a wank. It didn’t take too long to come, for a change.

14/3/1976
I discovered what was in Evan’s parcel. I’ll get to the details tomorrow, I’m too tired.

15/3/1976
Evan’s boyfriend has been eager to move things forward. Last time they were together he tried to fuck Evan using the well-known “Let’s just shove it in” technique. Luckily Evan stopped the idiot before he split him in two. So Evan decided to do something about that. He wandered away during his last visit to Hogsmeade and discovered a shop. The kind of shop I have heard exists in Knockturn Alley… I would have never thought Evan would find the courage to go inside. I’m impressed.

He found what he was looking for but he had to order it because they didn’t have it in stock. He ordered it and meant to pick it up from the shop next Hogsmeade weekend. However they obviously saw he was from the school and simply owled it here. Evan reacted quite well considering he got that at breakfast.

When he came to me and told me he needed help with something I assumed he meant with homework.

I just stood there staring at it when he took it out. I hadn’t thought… I hadn’t even imagined such a thing existed. First of all, it was huge. To what was it supposed to belong, a centaur? It’s not that it was thick but it was long. It wasn’t exactly shaped like a prick, just sort of like a pyramid shape, thickening in the middle then pyramid again. But really, all I could think of was that if Evan stuck the whole thing in him he’d be skewered.

I asked him about that and he said it had looked smaller in the catalogue.

He told me it’s called a “dildo.” I commented that it didn’t look that much like a prick, especially with that dark blue colour but he told me that there were others that looked exactly like pricks. I asked him why he didn’t buy one of those.

“If someone finds this, I may get away with it… those other things, you wouldn’t believe it, Sev. And they were a bit gruesome, like someone had cut them off, you know?”

I knew. I didn’t want to know anymore, my imagination had supplied me with a rather gruesome image, indeed.

I took him to a place I had discovered but never got a chance to take Lucius. Just a little storage room that’s hardly ever used. Just in case, I paid Filch a quick visit first and made sure Evan and I would have our privacy.

I told Evan to take his clothes off. He looked at me, suddenly shy, holding that thing, the dildo, on his hand like a wand. He gave it to me and started to strip. He cast a cleaning charm on the floor then lay down on his back.

I knelt next to him. I know his body, clothed or naked, as well as I know my own. It was not a particular excitement for me to be seeing him naked. Not that I don’t like him. He is muscular and slightly… well not fat, just sort of there. Strong, stocky, his arms and legs a little hairy, a little freckled. Real.

I stroked his chest and then lower on his belly, nice and slow. He shivered. I asked him whether he had tried using the dildo at all and he told me that he had but it hurt too much.

He was miserable, lying there like a corpse… he’d even crossed his arms over his chest. I told him to raise his legs. He gave me a bewildered look then did as I had asked, holding his knees to his chest.

I stroked along the inside of his thigh. White and silky soft… I quite liked the feel. I smiled at him.

“You know that I’m not going to hurt you, don’t you?”

He nodded as it occurred to me that I had hurt him several times already, just not physically.

I took the dildo in my hand. It didn’t feel that much like a prick. It was hard but could bend slightly. I couldn’t recognise the material it was made of… could be rubber but it didn’t smell like it. I lubricated the tip then reached and smeared the rest of the lubricant on my fingers against Evan’s hole. He jerked and tried to pull back. I threatened to leave him if he didn’t relax. The threat worked.

I scooped some more lubricant and pressed inside him. He didn’t remain relaxed for long. The way he was clamping on my fingers made me think that it was a good thing he didn’t want me to put my prick in there. It would hurt like hell. My stiffie easedit. it.

I took my fingers out and replaced them with the dildo. I teased against his hole with slow circular movements. He gave out a little cry.

“What is You You like this?”

He nodded.

I was aching in sympathy, my prick perking up again, my arsehole contracting. Gods, I’m hard now and I’m still at the beginning.

I pressed the fake prick farther in, stopping when Evan’s cries got a rather distressed quality. His hole was stretched around the dildo, round and pink, shinth lth lubricant. Only the head was in.

“Work your muscles on it a bit. Let me push it in, trust me, it feels good!” I urged him.

He’s good at following instructions. I pushed until the dildo was halfway in, which was more than enough.

Evan let out a cry… it scared me but “oh, this is good, yes, yes,” which followed it was rather reassuring.

I pressed on my aching prick over my robes (bit like I’m doing now, really). The sight was just… beautiful… Evan’s little virgin arse squeezing against that huge thing.

I started fucking him with it. Nice small strokes going by his cries to see what he liked the most. Well, going by his cries he liked everything. I angled the thrusts a bit.

He screamed. Scared me for a moment but it was a good scream. I tried to make him repeat it. Didn’t get that volume again but my steady pounding had him wild.

I’d made a huge wet spot on the front of my robes, who would have known that showing someone the joys of taking it up the arse can be so erotic?

Evan was an utter mess. His body flushed pink, his prick leaking practically up to his chest and the dildo sticking out… large… I had a revelation at that moment. Double edged!

Had I been blind? Apparently yes. Say both lovers feel like getting fucked… There it is!

Evan was staring at me in confusion as I pulled off my robes as though they were on fire. He was squeezing and reng hng his muscles around the dildo and trying hard to move on it on his own now that I was no longer pushing it in. He looked like a contortionist, one hand holding his legs back, the other fumbling, trying to reach the dildo and shove it in. There should be a charm for that but he hadn’t brought the instructions and either way we were both too worked up to do any c.
c.

I used the last of the lubricant on me then slowly lowered myself on my end of the dildo holding it to guide it in. Evan was starting up at me, his eyes as large as saucers. It was quite funny really.

My laughter was cut short… it felt so good! Hard and would stay hard no matter what… that was certainly an advantage over the real thing. I was rather uncomfortable, squatting over Evan, I’d gotten him to raise his arse as far up as possible. I started moving. There was quite a bit of strain on my thigh muscles but I didn’t notice it much at that moment.

I held onto the dildo to make sure that I wouldn’t give Evan more than he could take and I just fucked myself on it… it was amazing. Fucking, plain and simple…Just brilliant.

Evan was stroking on his prick and I thought I should make him stop. Lucius would do that to me and coming was much sweeter, much harder if you had to wait until you were allowed. But I’m not Lucius and I couldn’t make myself wait, let alone Evan.

He came. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much spunk. He got it down to his face.

I came too after a little while still holding hard on the dildo not to push it too far into Evan. I got most of the spunk on my chest but some dribbled down on poor Evan, getting some spots that his owd mid missed.

When I could move again I got off the dildo and let Evan lie down at last. The muscles on my legs were on fire.. I suspect his entire body was sore. I lay him flat on the floor.

“Let me take this out.”

“Yes, no, oh fuck!” He winced as it was coming out. Probably hurt a bit or it might have been because of that squelching sound it made. Probably the latter. He blushed and covered his face with his hands.

“Are you all right?”

“Dead,” he mumbled.

I waited until he was sufficiently recovered and asked him to cast the cleaning charms we needed. We still had to have a shower, of course.

I walked him back to our dormitory. I’m hoping no one saw us. There are times when I get a strange feeling in the corridors at night. Like someone is watching me. If I didn’t know Invisibility Cloaks were against regulations… But what if someone has one? I don’t like this feeling at all.

I undressed him and myself and walked in the shower with him. His back was red and scraped and is probably bruised today. Doing all that on the floor hadn’t been a good idea. However, there was no damage elsewhere. At least I don’t think so. He slapped my hand away when I tried to check for bleeding and shoved me out of his shower stall.

I was waiting for him outside. He kissed me on the cheek and thanked me. He was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. He looked deceptively innocent, mouth half open, snoring slightly.

I was knackered as well but it was a while before I managed to sleep.

And now what? I opened the way and in comes Dolohov?

I’m such a selfish prick… I could have Evan before but I was too busy panting after Lucius… I want things to work out well for Evan. I want him to find someone who will treat him better than I did.

I hope he’ll still want to play sometimes, though.