Crossing the Line

Chapter 8: When you Say Nothing at all

Harry sighed while raking a hand through his hair and walked back to his chambers to get dressed into more fashionable robes for the Order meeting. Only a day had passed since that night that Harry remembered almost vividly, even in the state he had been in. His heart still ached at the memory.

Sighing again, he whispered his password and opened the wards. Crossing to his room and into the bathroom, he quickly showered and changed into his velvet forest green robes, over top of black dress pants and a loose white tee. Brushing his hair out into a low braid, he pulled on his slightly scuffed military boots and left his room. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on Severus\' door; they\'d agreed to Apparate over to the meeting place together.

When he\'d awakened in the man\'s bed (and had finally gotten over his thrill of sleeping in the same bed as Severus had), he\'d had tea with the professor. Both of them had acted as though nothing had happened. Severus probably thought Harry had completely forgotten the incident. While he wished he had, he remembered almost every moment of it. Their friendship hadn\'t changed at all. But Harry was a bit more withdrawn then usual. Severus had commented on it, but he\'d replied that it was because of the continued talk about his scars. Of course the man had taken him for his word and left it at that.

The door swung open before him, breaking him out of his thoughts.

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\"Hello Harry,\" Severus said calmly to the slightly startled man in front of him. He must have been lost in his thoughts. Then again... he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. There was something... off. He\'d even declined running through a new meditation yesterday. He just... didn\'t seem himself. \"Are you ready to go?\" he asked quietly. At Harry\'s small nod, Severus began to lead them quietly down the hall and out of the castle grounds. Glancing sideways at Harry as they passed through the gate, he asked again, \"Are you sure you\'re okay? You seemed to be handling other people knowing about your scars much easier two days ago...\"

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Shit. Merlin, how he hated lying to the man. \"The gossip got worse,\" he said, shrugging. He frowned and looked down when Severus sighed. It was obvious the man no longer believed him..

Harry sighed and looked down. He should really get over being rejected. Last night hadn\'t he been thinking that he wanted to be the man\'s friend? At least during the feeding, Severus hadn\'t tried to ask him any questions. But how were they supposed to remain friends if Harry kept pushing the man away? So what if he was heart broken. He\'d been able to mask his feelings before while he was an Auror, he\'d just have to put that trade back into use.

Raising his eyes, he looked over at the other man and touched his arm lightly to gain his attention. \"I\'m sorry about the way I\'ve been acting. I\'ve just had something on my mind these past few days.\" He smiled, somewhat weakly, hoping that Severus wouldn\'t ask questions and just accept it for the apology it was and try not to question the half-truth.

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\"It\'s all right,\" Severus replied, though he really wished Harry would tell him what exactly was bothering him. It was possible Harry could\'ve remembered what he\'d said that night, but Severus never bothered to ask. It would be too painful for both of them. Still... he hated that there was this... distance between them now.

He turned to Harry as they passed the gates, touching him on the shoulder slightly, \"We\'d better get going then,\" he murmured before Apparating them both to the gloomy parlor at Grimmauld place. \"Ah, there you are,\" came Dumbledore\'s ever-annoying, cheerful voice. \"Come inside, everyone\'s just arrived. They\'re eagerly awaiting your explanation of the new training you\'ve been going through with Harry.\"

They were quickly ushered inside the small conference room and seated themselves in two adjacent chairs near the end of the long table, each trying to avoid the numerous eyes of the other members who were looking at them expectantly.

\"All right now--\" Dumbledore began pleasantly, as always, \"--the first topic of today\'s meeting is Voldemort\'s latest attacks. I assume you\'ll want to brief everyone on that, Arthur?\"

\"Yes, thank you, Headmaster,\" Mr. Weasley murmured, seemingly a little more emotional that usual, standing to begin his ministry\'s report. \"Voldemort started suddenly at the very northern tip of Great Britain and started moving across Britain in a haphazard way, attacking wizarding towns all the way. Each time the attacks are the same. Sudden and silent, not even noticed until the next morning despite the amount of wards we put up around certain towns. He\'s leveled five towns as of yet, leaving every man, woman, and child dead and shrunken in on themselves. Aurors have been working round the clock, but they have not yet discovered any sort of pattern to his attacks nor what sort of magic he\'s doing. The only thing we\'ve been able to confirm for sure is each of his victims has had their soul stripped from their body forcibly.\"

Almost the entire Order gasped as one in horror. Even with all their dealing with Voldemort, a soul stripping was the worst way for anyone to die. Harry didn\'t gasp, but Severus could all but feel him seething with anger and pain. Besides, he knew of most of the attacks already. Any victim Voldemort tortured and soul stripped, Harry saw it and felt half the pain, it was a wonder how he could even get up in the mornings. It was no vampire magic telling him that, but his own intuition. Unable to stand knowing Harry was in pain, the meeting as well as the other thing he refused to talk about, he reached gently over to him, under the table, and covered his hand with his own, making sure to keep his outward expression impartial as ever.

At that moment Arthur sunk wearily into his chair and Dumbledore rose again. \"My friends,\" he began slowly, \"the situation is far more grave this year than it has been in the past. If I had to guess, I\'d say this year will be the deciding on who finally ends this war. However, we are well prepared. Matthew, who could not be here tonight, is organizing a select group of wizards from every wizarding army around the world to help fight Voldemort when the time comes. Be assured we are going to fight with everything we have.\" There was a brief pause before, \"Not only that, but Severus has graciously agreed to teach Harry Nosferatu magic in the hopes of helping him when his time comes to fight against Voldemort. It\'s, unfortunately, an excessively dangerous way for him to fight, but I fear we have no other choice.\"

\"What exactly is this Nosferatu magic, Harry?\" Remus asked, eyeing him sceptically from across the table. Severus, in response, glared furiously at him, but the werewolf was unmoved.

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Harry kept the small smile off his face which had threatened to overcome him when the hand reached for his under the table. He turned his palm so their fingers interlocked.

He looked over at Remus, who was eyeing him. Harry sighed quietly, hating the faintest look of hate in the man\'s usually warm brown eyes. All because of Sirius.

\"It\'s basically wandless magic,\" he finally said, somewhat shortly. Remus looked at him strangely.

\"And why is Professor Snape teaching you?\" Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

\"Because he knows how to do it.\"

\"How?\" what was this? Twenty questions?

\"Someone taught him, obviously.\" Remus raised a brow in Severus\' direction, as if to say, \'Who would willingly spend their time with him to teach him magic?\' but he let it go. Ever since Sirius\' death, the werewolf had been a lot more harsh. It hurt, even if they hadn\'t been all that close before. But he had been a link to his father--and now he hated Harry.

He sighed quietly and looked down at the table, preferring to keep silent as he usually did during the meetings. He glanced up with a small smile when Severus\' squeezed his fingers gently.

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Severus glanced back at Harry, curving his lips only enough so that only he would notice. Had they been alone he would\'ve smiled openly, but as no one else in the room had ever seen him smile, he did not wish to give them any heart attacks.

The rest of the meeting was basically uneventful. They discussed different strategies for the army against Voldemort to use in the final battle, reviewed some damage reports from the Aurors who\'d investigated the destroyed towns and a few other necessary evils. The meeting ended, as usual, with Dumbledore promising to Owl the minute there was something else to discuss and bidding them all farewell. Most of them Apparated from their seats, but Severus and Harry trailed behind, hands still interlocked. Once they were alone, Severus turned to Harry and asked, \"Are you all right? You look exhausted.\"

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Harry smiled weakly, \"Gee, thanks.\" Severus just rolled his eyes. \"It\'s nothing I guess. It\'s just...\" Harry sighed. \"Remus.\" He waved a hand vaguely. Severus impatiently gestured for him to make himself clearer. Harry frowned in thought before saying sadly, \"Remus blames me for Sirius\' death. If it wasn\'t for me, Sirius would still be alive. I killed Sirius with my stupid antics of rushing in and Remus hates me for it, I\'d say rightfully so.\" Sighing, Harry shook his head. \"Otherwise, I\'m fine. Really.\" He added when the other man raised a brow. \"Let\'s get out of here.\" The professor nodded and they Apparated together outside of Hogwarts\' boundaries. Harry dropped the other man\'s hand reluctantly and walked towards the gates, Severus a silent companion at his side.

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\"That is ridiculous, Harry,” Severus said shortly after they\'d Apparated, \"Remus has no right to hate you; it wasn\'t really your fault. You actions may have inadvertently led to a bad situation, but you wouldn\'t have acted that way if Dumbledore had properly informed you as to what the hell was going on. Moreover, Black knew how dangerous it was for him to leave Grimmauld Place and he did it anyway.” Severus paused in walking and speech to catch Harry\'s eye. \"Don\'t ever blame yourself for something that was the result of many mistakes on the parts of many people.\"

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Harry sighed quietly and nodded. But for all the good it did, Severus\' words might have gone in one ear and out the other for how much he listened, or make that, believed him. Harry knew it wasn\'t just his fault, but that still didn\'t eliminate his part in it.

Suddenly remembering yesterday and the way he\'d been too scared to spend too much time with Severus, Harry glanced over at the other man, \"Can we try that new meditation today? I wasn\'t really feeling that up to it yesterday...\" he trailed off, looking forward again.

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Severus glanced over at Harry and nodded in response. \"Sure, and there\'s no need to make excuses. It\'s probably better to take a small break anyway.\" Silently the two of them walked back into the dungeons and into Severus\' rooms. It was like clockwork from the moment they stepped in. Severus lit the fire, Harry moved the coffee table, and they both sat down in front of the fire, facing each other this time as Severus indicated. Severus met Harry\'s eyes for a moment and smiled. He was almost afraid they\'d lose that comfortable silence they seemed to be so good at because of all the distance and tension that seemed to be hovering between them for the past two days. He was glad to have it back if even for a moment.

\"The goal of this meditation,\" Severus explained, \"is to harness your magic and have it wrap around mine in a hug-like fashion. When you face Voldemort the object will be to pull the magic from his body thus killing him and destroying his magic, but as we are not here to kill me, I figured simply getting a grip on my magic for a moment will be sufficient enough.\" Severus paused, about to tell Harry to close his eyes so that they could begin, but stopped himself as he remembered something. \"Oh, I nearly forgot to ask you; have you been practicing doing spells wandlessly and how is it working if you have?\"

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Resting his hands in his lap and trying not to fidget away from the light pressure of Severus\' knees touching his, he looked over at the couch and took his wand out of his shirt. Tossing it on the cushion, he used his hand and whispered, \"Accio.\" The wand flew into his grasp as he looked back at Severus with a small grin. \"I\'m mastered Accio and various strengths of cleaning charms.\" When he\'d been in his rooms, basically avoiding the other man, he\'d been tossing his wand away from him and repeatedly calling it back to him until he\'d mastered that act.

Cleaning charms--well, he\'d been using those since Severus started teaching him. He used various charms on--personal messes, and occasionally just simple chores. Even when it looked like it wouldn\'t work, he\'d kept practicing in the hopes of finally mastering it. To both impress Severus and to relieve some of the tension.

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Severus smiled warmly and murmured, \"Excellent. Keep practicing, it will help.\" He waited until Harry had stowed his wand away before beginning.

\"Now,\" he began, laying his hands palm up over their slightly brushing knees, and said, \"lay your hands over mine, it\'ll make thing easier.\" Once Harry had done so, he signaled for him to close his eyes and began the meditation. \"Picture yourself back in that dark void, much like the one you\'ve been working in to achieve your energy wand. Only this time I\'m not at your back but standing before you. See your energy and magic flowing within you as it always has then look up and notice mine as well, just as free flowing and abstract as yours.

\"With your magic, reach out and encircle mine; just contain it for a few moments like you would a person in a tight hug and release, drawing your magic back into yourself. When you are ready, open your eyes.\"

Looking at Harry face to face like this, Severus had to appreciate his magic; he could feel its strength and, being able to look at it directly now, it was rather beautiful, much like its owner. Harry might not have been biologically Nosferatu, but he had all the talent he needed for it--that was obvious. Not to mention whatever he seemed to have found to drive his magic was working brilliantly.

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Harry followed Severus\' instructions and found himself facing Severus. The beautiful dancing lights of dark blue and white dancing behind him obviously represented his magical core. Harry looked into the other man\'s eyes and concentrated. Slowly, the twirling light green and white lights behind him came forward to wrap around the magical globe behind Severus.

Controlling it easily now, he squeezed gently, slowly increasing the pressure and then holding more loosely, just to see if he could control the amount of pressure. When it became apparent he could, he let the magic enter himself again, but not before the magical lights gave one final caress (there was no other way to describe it) to Severus\' magic, and disappeared inside him.

Opening his eyes, he met the other\'s dark gaze and gave a small lopsided smile. Pleased that he had done it his first try. Maybe having that something to drive his magic really did help him to focus.

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Severus returned the smiled and, without bothering to remove his hands from Harry, complemented him. \"Excellent job, Harry,\" he said quietly. \"Now we\'ll just need to practice doing it from a distance. If you keep practicing with your wandless magic, we\'ll be able to have a wandless wizarding duel by early December. It may not have too many dangerous spells in it, but I have no doubt you\'ll improve.\"

Really, it surprised Severus how well Harry had taken to the magic. Whatever was motivating him was sure as hell doing its job. There was something about the way he\'d wrapped his magic around Severus though, that unnerved him a little. It was too gentle, too much of a... caress, to be considered training to tear someone\'s magic from them, but Severus didn\'t bother mentioning it. He\'d felt Harry\'s magic as intimately as he did when he was feeding from him, and there was no doubt in his mind Harry had the strength to do what needed to be done.

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Resisting the urge to turn his hands around so his palms would kiss the other man\'s, Harry frowned as he thought of something that he\'d been trained to do while he was an Auror. \"How would you tell when someone is about to attack? When I was an Auror, I learned how to say a lot of dangerous spells in Parseltongue, and my enemies never knew what attack they had to shield from. I also learned how to draw quicker then my opponent or dodge as soon as they lifted their wand--but how do you know when they\'re about to attack if they\'re not waving any wands?\"

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\"You have to keep an eye on their magical energy as well as your own. When you see it building, you know an attack is coming. Voldemort may just fight you with his wand, but you\'ll have the advantage because magic accessed wandlessly is closer to the source and thus, more powerful,\" Severus explained calmly.

He really enjoyed teaching Harry, much more-so then when he taught him potions. Then again, that was probably because he had a willing student this time. It was good to see him applying his mind so much. Again that something inside him ached, the one part that wanted something more with Harry, regardless of how irrational it might be. He wasn\'t a love struck adolescent, he knew what he wanted and it hurt that he knew he couldn\'t have it.

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Harry frowned in concern when Severus\' suddenly glanced down, a small furrow in his brow. Not bothering to resist anymore, Harry turned his hand over and slid it partially back so he was clasping Severus\' fingers in a silent show of concern, thinking that if he voiced it, he\'d probably be shot down.

\"They didn\'t take it as badly as you thought in the meeting,\" he finally said after a few moments of silence, trying to change the subject. With the way Severus had predicted the meeting, Harry had expected the others to yell and jump down his throat about it. Instead, only Remus had really confronted him about it, and he easily rebuffed him.

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Severus gave Harry\'s slender fingers a tiny squeeze and looked back up at Harry. \"Yes, that\'s fortunate. We won\'t have to worry about people trying to rescue you from any ritual sacrifice they\'ve convinced themselves I\'m going to put you through.\" Harry chuckled a little at that and Severus offered a small smile. It was tinged with sadness, but only slightly and he hoped Harry wouldn\'t notice. It was just his luck of course that the more he thought of it, the more he wanted to act on it. He\'d spent thirty years brooding about the past and it was only after he\'d spent time like this with Harry that he was finally able to see the present and the future and really enjoy them. Things like that just did not happen often.

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Harry sighed mentally, hating the sadness he could see lurking behind Severus\' small smile. Deciding to try to take the older man\'s mind off of whatever topic he was thinking about, Harry broke the small silence. \"Should we try it from further away? Is there anything different about it, besides the no touching thing.\"

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\"No. Just the same as last time and you should do just fine,\" Severus said, giving Harry\'s hands one last squeeze before getting up and moving to the other side of the room and signaled Harry to start with a nod of his head.

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Closing his eyes, Harry quickly followed the silky voice in his memories reminding him what to do. He soon found himself standing in front of Severus. Though they were now quite a distance away. Concentrating, Harry let his magic flow through him and then out, the twinkling lights slowly closed the distance between them and went through Severus to get to his magical core. He made his magic imprison Severus\', in much the same way as before.

Hearing a distant voice saying that Voldemort would need more then a caress, Harry hesitated, before with one last gentle squeeze, he tightened his magic around the core. Gripping tightly for a few seconds, before quickly backing off, his magic gave one last caress, almost as if in apology for hurting the other man, even if it was only a little bit, and came back to him.

Opening his eyes, Harry looked across at the older man, slightly bent over and holding his chest. Biting his lip, he quickly walked over, just sort of a jog, and pressed his hand against Severus\' up-raised arms. \"I\'m sorry..\"

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Severus closed his eyes for a few moments, focusing away the pain before opening them again to meet Harry\'s concerned face. That was when he registered also that Harry\'s hands were covering his. \"Don\'t apologize,\" Severus said, shaking his head and linking his fingers with Harry\'s again. \"You did very well. You\'re going to need to use a lot more force with Voldemort than simply encasing his magic; it\'s good to test your limits.\"

Severus leaned back against the wall, still holding Harry\'s hands loosely, and took a deep breath to try to ease some of the tightness in his chest. \"You\'ll want to see how far you can stretch your magic sometime soon. Like at any given point in the day when we\'re in different parts of the castle to send your energies out and see if you can find and/or reach mine. It\'ll help you build up your strength as well.\" Severus paused to cough a little bit like someone who couldn\'t catch their breath when really it was just the tightness that had been in his chest easing some more before saying, \"I think we should hold off on the wizarding duel until tomorrow, though.\"

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\"Okay,\" Harry reluctantly replied. All his self loathing was only increasing at the knowledge that he had hurt Severus. The one man he really liked. Biting his lip, Harry gently unlaced his fingers from Severus\', and placed them over the broad chest. Fingers spread, he closed his eyes and dipped his head down silently, quietly chanting the spell he\'d learned while he\'d been working with the Aurors.

A white glow encased his hands, before spreading to cover most of Severus\' chest. The light quickly vanished inside the other man, making him gasp.

Ending the healing chant, Harry stepped back and met Severus\' surprised gaze. \"Better?\"

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\"Yes,\" Severus said quietly, still a little surprised. \"Thank you, Harry.\" They shared a small, genuine smile before Severus grasped Harry\'s hand and led him over to the couch so they could talk. Turning to face Harry, Severus said, \"Really, don\'t feel guilty Harry. It was just--shocking to feel how much power you can concentrate in one place. You really do have an amazing talent for picking up Nosferatu magic. And whatever you found to drive it is working beautifully, don\'t lose it.\"

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Looking down at their clasped hands, Harry looked up and with a small smile, somewhat tinged with sadness and regret, but he knew his eyes would plainly show his determination, \"I won\'t.\"

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Severus returned the smile, perhaps just as sad and reached out to brush some loose bits of hair away from Harry\'s eyes; pausing to run his thumb over the small circles under his companion\'s eyes. \"Is something off with the feeding, Harry? It appeared to be helping you sleep, but you look so tired now,\" he asked with concern.

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Biting the inside of his lip, Harry glanced away before returning his gaze to meet the professor\'s. \"No, there\'s nothing wrong with it. And it does help me sleep. I just...\" he shrugged lightly, \"I\'ve had a lot on my mind, and I guess it\'s just making my sleep a bit more restless. I\'m fine though.\" He gave a small grin, hoping that Severus would just leave it at that. He really hated lying to the man; he was anything but fine.

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Severus sighed mentally, but let the subject fall. He wished that Harry would trust him, but he wasn\'t going to push it. \"Very well then,\" he said quietly, staring off into the fire. There was that distance again... Merlin how he hated it. It seemed so natural when he was bitter and hung up on the past all the time, but he didn\'t want to be a snarky bastard all the time now. He liked being able to relax and laugh once in a while. Something had to be done about this, or it would interfere with their training, or he\'d lose his mind, whichever came first.

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Eyes downcast, Harry hesitated briefly, before moving forward to press his forehead against the man\'s shoulder. They were sitting facing each other, Severus\' knee curled up and his leg dangling over the couch. Harry\'s own were crossed.

He felt the other man start slightly when he inched closer, but eventually he wrapped his left arm around Harry\'s shoulders, resting his other one on the opposite wrist, lightly stroking the smooth flesh underneath the younger man\'s wrist. \"I\'m sorry,\" \'for telling half truths, for hurting you, for liking you so much that you can hurt me without meaning to--the list goes on. I\'m sorry, Severus,\' he continued mentally, squeezing his eyes shut painfully.

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\"You have nothing to be sorry for, Harry,\" Severus murmured, brushing a light kiss over the younger man\'s temple and cradling him a little closer. It was strange feeling so depressed and comforted at the same time. Depressed that the one thing he\'d wanted in over thirty years he couldn\'t have, and comforted because Harry was at least there and he did care for him. What was the old Muggle saying? So close and yet so far.

Whatever the reason for his own sadness, though, Severus didn\'t want to keep falling into it like this and upsetting Harry on top of whatever else Harry was dealing with. Best to change the subject. Running a had comfortingly up and down the Gryffindor\'s back, he tried to think of something appropriate. It was late and a little to cold for flying.... \"Do you want to play a game?\" it was completely random and very unlike the Potions master, but Severus did want to help Harry keep his mind off of whatever was bothering him. He hated seeing him so depressed.

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Frowning up at the other man as he spoke words that he\'d never thought he\'d hear come out of the professor\'s mouth, Harry bit the inside of his lip and backed up to look up into Severus\' face. Looking into the other man\'s down turned face, it was obvious that he was trying to either cheer Harry up, or himself. Either or, they both probably needed it. Going through his list of games that he remembered playing with the other Gryffindors, that was actually a bit tasteful and Severus would go for it, Harry finally came up with a game that was a bit enhanced from the Muggle version. \"Verax Audeo?\" it was a basically truth or dare, but with a truth spell thrown in. Since Muggles could lie even while taken the former option and swearing to tell the truth, wizards (or witches) would be forced to tell the truth.

While Severus was pondering the suggestion, Harry grinned up at him. \"Who knew the famous Potions master even knew what a \'game\' was,\" his grinned widened when Severus broke out of his reverie and scowled down at him before sticking his large nose up in the air with a snort of indignation, causing Harry to laugh.

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\"I thought you\'d know by now that too much angst isn\'t good for anyone.\" Severus stated simply before pausing thoughtfully for a moment. It was good to see Harry laugh. \"I believe I\'ve heard of that game... is that the game that you played with the Weasley twins when they came to visit you your last year at Hogwarts as a student? Is that the game that ended with you asking the librarian for a practical demonstration on one of the sexual education books? I don\'t think I\'d seen either of you run so fast before.\" This, of course, caused a brilliant blush to cover Harry\'s cheeks, causing Severus to laugh a little and Harry to glare back at him.

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Still blushing at the memory of asking the librarian if she could show him the best way to masturbate. Merlin that had been embarrassing! He hadn\'t been able to look her in the eye after that. And he always cringed when she started laughing as soon as she saw him. The twins had definitely got a good laugh at his expense.

\"Yes, that game,\" he finally replied, still blushing faintly. \"That would be a dare. The only way the game differs from Muggles is the truth spell thrown in. It works so that if the person asks you a question, you have to speak the truth. But if someone else tries to ask you to expand on your answer, you don\'t have to answer them truthfully. It\'s only that one question you have to answer.

\"It\'s also up to the person asking you how specific they want to get. Sometimes it\'s just a yes or no answer, but people automatically think that you should expand on it more. But with the truth spell, you only have to speak the immediate truth. Have you ever played it before?\" He was curious if the other man had ever had a happy childhood. Even for a few moments--that and the thought of Severus doing some of the dares that Harry had went through were extremely hilarious.

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\"I don\'t believe I have,\" Severus mused, leaning back on the arm of the couch, \"but I have wanted to try it on occasion. Never with any of the Weasley clan though; that\'s just asking for trouble.\" At his last remark Harry just rolled his eyes and Severus smirked. \"So, should I start or should you?\"

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\"I\'ll start.\" Harry replied, shifting so he was leaning against the other end, their legs going diagonal from each others. \"Truth or dare?\" he asked the standard question. Severus appeared to think for a few moments before finally going with the dare. Biting his lip, Harry tried to think up something that wouldn\'t be embarrassing all that much. He\'d never really been good at picking dares anyway.

\"I dare you to sing a song that you really like, or know the chorus too.\" He\'d always wanted to know if Severus had a good singing voice. Harry\'s was pretty good, he couldn\'t pass, by any means, for a choir or anything like that, since his voice was more breathy and low when he sang. He wondered if Severus\' singing voice was just as sexy as his speaking one.

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\"Very well,\" Severus said at length and launched into a Muggle love song he\'d heard, partly to see Harry\'s reaction and partly because it was the easiest song that came to mind.

\"It\'s amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don\'t say a thing.....
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let\'s me know
That you need me
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all.\"

He finished smoothly and smiled over at Harry. There was something about the way the other man was looking at him. Shaking his head lightly to clear his thoughts, Severus said simply, \"I believe it\'s your turn now, Harry. Truth or Dare?\"

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He sat there, stunned at the beautiful song flowing over him in that wonderful baritone voice. The words were vaguely familiar, he\'d probably heard it on a radio somewhere, but somehow the meaning was so much more when sung in that voice.

He was broken out of his thoughts when Severus nudged him with his sock clad foot and repeated his question. Biting his lip, he thought about the many embarrassing things that Severus could subject to, but finally made his decision. Deciding to follow Severus\' lead.

\"Your voice is really beautiful,\" he complimented with a small smile. It turned into a grin when he saw the faintest trace of red marring Severus\' high cheekbones. \"I\'ll take dare.\"

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Severus thought for a few moments, trying to think of something comical, but not as bad as something the Weasley twins might think up. \"I dare you to do a cartwheel,\" he decided at last noting, for perhaps the first time, the emerald green robes Harry was wearing. They were a very tasteful fabric and the way they brought out his eyes... he should wear green more often, Severus concluded. Ironic that a Gryffindor\'s best colours would be Slytherin colours.

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\"Oookay...\" Harry trailed off, raising a brow in amusement. Standing up somewhat sadly (it was so comfortable on the couch with his legs pressed against Severus\') he undid the few hooks on his robes, then slid them off, folding them carefully on the edge of the sofa arm where he\'d been resting his back only moments before. He masked the grin as he turned around when he saw Severus run his toe along the material, as if he was testing to see what it felt like. Not like the man had never felt velvet before.

Biting his lip, he found a spot just a ways from the couch that was clear enough for him to do a few cartwheels. Stepping back so he was near the wall, he measured the distance, before easily going into two and a half cartwheels, landing him right in front of the sofa on his hands and upside down facing the other man. He grinned when he saw the wide eyes of the other man. When his shirt starting to creep up his rib cage, Harry ended the hand stand, falling backwards and easily landing on his feet, before turning back around to face the older man. \"Did that meet your standards?\" he asked with a big grin.

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\'Damn, the man is flexible,\' was Severus\' first thought on seeing Harry\'s cartwheels. It was so appealing combined with the impish grin that spread across his cheeks. Everything about Harry was appealing, really. He was a fascinating combination of Gryffindorish innocence and something... decidedly Slytherin. That was when his shirt starting sliding down to reveal a wonderfully tempting flat stomach as well as a few painful-looking pink and silver scars. Harry always thought so much less of himself for them when really all Severus saw were marks of bravery that made him want to protect him from ever having to experience something like that again. \"Yes, well done,\" he managed as Harry settled back against him in between his legs.

To break his train of thought, Severus prompted Harry to his question and, after deciding there were not so many dares that could be executed in his rooms and having no desire to leave them said, \"Truth,\" hoping he wouldn\'t regret it.

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Frowning, Harry tipped his head back so he was resting it against Severus\' chest. Placing a hand over top of the one on his stomach, the young man tried to think up something he\'d been wanting to ask, but hadn\'t the courage to before. Yet, it couldn\'t be something too personal, since he didn\'t want Severus to hate him or regret playing the game that had been doing wonders to lift up his spirits.

Finally deciding on a question that wasn\'t that personal, and wasn\'t a yes or no answer, Harry spoke up, \"What kinds of things are you attracted to in a guy?\" he couldn\'t help the small glimmer of hope burning in his chest when the question left his mouth. Maybe--maybe he would still stand a chance--surely Severus wouldn\'t always just think of him as a friend.

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Severus breathed a mental sigh of relief. There was nothing too probing in that question. \"Well,\" he mused, playing with the ends of Harry\'s hair absently, vaguely wondering when he had become such a tactile person. \"I\'m attracted to intelligence, someone who can appreciate reading and Potions even if they are not their favourite activities in the world, loyalty, honesty, someone who likes children, someone who\'d be my equal partner without being excessively dominant or submissive, and someone who\'d be willing to put up with my snarky bastard self because we all know that I\'m never going to change.\" \'Harry is all of these things,\' noted the sarcastic little voice in his head which he quickly shook away.

After giving Harry a moment to mull that over, Severus put the question back to him and he, probably too comfortable to move at the moment chose \'truth\' as well. Leaning down, Severus murmured, \"What about you Harry? What do you look for in a man?\" okay, so this would be a painful answer perhaps, but if he knew he\'d be better able to predict when he should start fading into he background and let Harry find a good husband.

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Trying not to feel too much regret at having his hopes crushed, Harry sighed at the wonderful feeling of Severus playing with the long stands of his hair. He wasn\'t all that intelligent, in the book sense anyway. He was more creative, and he was good at finding ways to get around something. He did try to be honest and loyal, and he loved children. But he didn\'t know if he could be equal with Severus--the man would probably see him as a child.

Sighing again, this time in remorse, Harry finally answered, not really having to think since the truth spell automatically wove it\'s answer from his lips. \"I look for intelligence, both in wit and book smarts. I have to admit I\'m a bit shallow in wanting to have an attractive lover, but then again, \'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,\' and when people love each other or are attracted to each other, they might start seeing something that wasn\'t there before.

\"I also look for honesty and loyalty. I love a sense of humor. And I usually prefer older men because they\'ve usually seen more than someone my own age.\" Harry sighed and turned his head to the side so he was resting his cheek just under Severus\' collarbone. \"I would want someone who would love me with my--many imperfections, instead of trying to ignore them, because they\'re an important part of who I am and why I am this way.\"

Taking a deep breath, taking in the smell of sandalwood, he tried to quell the nervousness he felt at having laid his heart open like that. The thing about the truth spells was that it sometimes produced answers you didn\'t even know dwelled in your subconscious.

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Severus smiled openly even though Harry couldn\'t see him. Very sensible, as to be expected, but also very honest. That was to be expected with the truth spell of course, but still, not many people had such a well balanced view of themselves and what they wanted. Harry would also need someone to build his self confidence though, Severus noted. He was worth so much more than he gave himself credit for.

Without bothering to wait for Harry to ask him, Severus went for another truth, enjoying the feel of Harry resting against him much more than he should have. After a slight pause, Harry stretched a little then asked why Severus had chosen him as a donor when he hadn\'t trusted anyone else in so long. Ah, this struck a little close to home... but he\'d trusted Harry with so much more than anyone else already, he didn\'t feel that much regret when the words began to spill from his lips.

\"People always judge me. I hate it, but I can never get away from it. It gives me no chance to be seen as anything else but my reputation...\" Severus paused to wrap his arms over Harry\'s stomach and rest his chin on his shoulder. \"You\'re different though. You know what it\'s liked to be judged by reputation alone and you make a point of not doing that to anyone. I admire that in you,\" Severus finished smoothly, willing himself not to glance away.

Harry\'s only response was a small smile and Severus pulled him closer with one of his own. \"Will you want different things than you do now, after you no longer have Voldemort hanging over your head?\" he asked before Harry had even asked for truth and before he could really stop himself. Against his better judgment, it was getting harder for him to think that Harry would really want to leave him when, here, right now, he seemed so content--so right.

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Harry frowned at the unexpected question. But he gave it some thought as he leaned his head against the man\'s shoulder. After Voldemort was dead, would the things he wanted change? Putting his arms over Severus\', he finally just said what ever came to mind. \"It all depends--at the present moment--I want companionship, love, and happiness. So, no, those things won\'t change after Voldemort is dead.

\"I also like being with you--and I don\'t know if that would change after the war. You or I could die--so, yeah, those things might be different when Voldemort is dead. But the things I want won\'t. Not unless something or someone pulls those things from me. Then I guess it will be different, even if I won\'t want the change.\"

Biting his lip, Harry glanced at the man resting his chin on his shoulder. \"Does that make any sense? I\'ve thought about things like that so much, but it\'s still hard to put my thoughts into words. I didn\'t even think about after Voldemort, because I just expected to die, or probably drift along. Hell, I still think the latter will happen. But then you and I became closer, and I had more hope of surviving the up-coming battle...\" He sighed and turned his head a bit so he was resting close to Severus\' head, his long locks tangling with the other man\'s.

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\"Yes, I understand,\" Severus murmured, glancing at Harry out of the corner of his eye. He\'d brought so many walls down for this man. It had almost been too easy to; Harry was so mindful of his various attitudes and feelings. He was twenty-eight and reasonable with most things in his life, save for the pessimistic streak Severus was trying to break him of. Severus smiled, mentally shaking his head in defeat as his chin was still on Harry\'s shoulder and he didn\'t want to jostle him, as he knew the decision had just been made for him. He didn\'t regret it though, they both deserved happiness after fighting so hard for so long.

\"I assure you, Harry,\" Severus murmured as he intertwined their fingers, \"I am too smart to die at Voldemort\'s hands and you,\" he paused again to brush the ghost of a kiss over Harry\'s jaw line, \"are far too stubborn.\" It may not have been anything written out in black and white, but Severus, being Slytherin, was hardly ever straightforward about anything concerning his heart.

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Biting his lip at the sensations of the other man\'s smooth lips over his jaw, Harry shifted so he was resting in the crook of Severus\' left shoulder and he was able to look over at the other man. His face was almost impassive, but there was something in his eyes--for one, they were looking down at Harry\'s lips. Damn! Where was his infamous courage? If he\'d read the few signals wrong, then he would just have to put up with a friendship with the man, or if he pushed him away, then just a working relationship. At least they would still be close.

Taking a deep breath, he glanced back and forth between Severus\' obsidian gaze and the tongue that was now sneaking across the thin upper lip and ending at his fuller bottom lip. Closing his eyes, he finally went for the one thing he\'d been wanting for these past few years. Severus.

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Severus, although it had been his general goal, still gasped slightly when Harry\'s lips rested over his. He didn\'t pull back, however, and for his part, neither did Harry. They stayed there for a few moments, lips just barely resting against each other, breath mingling, before Severus finally found the sense of mind to lean forward and cement the kiss. At Severus\' reassurance, Harry made a small noise in the back of his throat, tightened his fingers around Severus\', and eagerly responded to Severus\' mouth moving over his.

Opening his mouth with a sigh, Severus delved his tongue past Harry\'s parted lips and was eagerly met by Harry\'s own tongue. Severus gently disentangled one of his hands from Harry\'s in order to thread it through Harry\'s hair and pull him even closer as they explored each others mouths. At length, lack of breath forced them to part, slightly breathless, with their foreheads resting against each other.

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Sighing happily, Harry grinned and pressed his lips to Severus\' when they caught their breath. Brushing his lips along the other man\'s, he backed off before the gesture could be returned. Moving down to the older man\'s jaw, he brushed his lips at the sharp corner, smiling at the loud sigh.

Turning around so he was all but sitting in Severus\' lap with the man\'s arms wrapped around his waist, Harry threaded the hand into the man\'s silky hair, before gripping it lightly and pushing the man down to rest against his neck. He groaned when Severus moaned and start suckling on his neck, bringing the blood to the surface with little nips of his still human, yet sharp, teeth. He gasped when Severus finally let his fangs drop and he sank into Harry\'s neck. While he was feeding for the first time that day, Harry ran a hand down the back of his skull, lightly petting the scalp, causing a low groan at the back of Severus\' throat.

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Severus tightened his grip on Harry\'s waist, sucking the blood very slowly, drawing out Harry\'s soft moans until he was clawing at Severus\' back and arching up against him. Feeling the hard heat of Harry\'s arousal against his thigh, Severus trailed one hand down Harry\'s torso and gripped his length through the cloth of his pants, evoking another gasp and a deep moan from his throat.

Smirking inwardly, Severus continued the slow pace, occasionally prodding the wounds with his tongue until Harry, trembling, came hard and screamed out his name. Severus purred contently and lapped once or twice more at the wounds as Harry collapsed against him. As the wounds closed, Severus mumbled a cleaning charm and started trailing feather light kisses over Harry\'s neck. \"Next time,\" he murmured in between kisses, \"I think we should do this on the bed.\"

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\"Mmmhmm,\" Harry mumbled incoherently, still a bit dazed from the blood loss and coming harder then he\'d ever had before during the feeding due to the man\'s nimble touch.

Before he could wrap his arms around Severus\' waist, he was scooped up and carried into the man\'s bedroom where he was set down gently underneath the cool, navy cotton covers. Smiling sleepily as he snuggled into the large fluffy pillow under his head, Harry waited until the man had removed both their shirts, Severus\' robes and socks, leaving their pants on in silent agreement, and he had settled into the large bed, before coming closer. The older man turned him gently so he was spooning him. Harry sighed and snuggled back against the hard form, too sleepy to really acknowledge the hard length pressing comfortably against his backside.

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Severus smiled openly and intertwined his fingers with Harry\'s as he felt him drifting off to sleep. It was hard, and a little scary, to think of what had just happened. He was now in a relationship with Harry Potter, the pride of Gryffindor, and hadn\'t been happier... ever before really. If that wasn\'t ironic he didn\'t know what was. Pressing a light kiss to the top of said Defense Against the Dark Arts professor\'s head, he whispered, \"Goodnight, Harry,\" before following him into the darkness of sleep.