Goodnight, Demon Slayer

Goodnight, Demon Slayer
Chapter Six:
Flypaper for Freaks

The rest of the train trip passed relatively amiably with conversation being made only minimally but with a silence that was entirely comfortable. Hermione thought that this was a promising sign. After all, she could rarely keep her mouth closed without feeling like she was not contributing anything to the public’s general wellbeing. Severus, however, was not as at ease as Hermione would have expected. As much as he hated her yammering, the silence showed she had nothing to say to him. It did not, he felt, bode well for the future.

About fifteen minutes from London, Hermione felt it would be only fair to begin to debrief Severus.

Ooh… debrief. That was a naughty little word, wasn’t it? Stifling a giggle, Hermione turned her attention from her notebook (where she had been making plans for the birthday party for Harry she still hadn’t informed Severus of) and gazed across the compartment to the Potions Master.

“Um… Severus?”
at?”at?” he answered, not even bothering to look up from his Potions research journal. It was, after all, a new experience for him to be able to do anything except count the number of times he almost threw up during a train ride.

“I’ve got to tell you something,” murmured Hermione, nervously twisting her hands in her lap and suddenly unable to look at him properly.

“What is it, Herm? D? Do you have a gigantic muscular boyfriend who’s going to kick my ass as soon as we step off the train?” He still hadn’t bothered to look at her and she got the feeling that he wasn’t taking her entirely seriously. Snorting and rolling her eyes, Hermione continued.

“Hardly. It’s my parents. They…. They’re…. different.”

Finally setting aside the magazine, Severus gazed at her evenly. This may be bad. Of course her parents would be different to him- they were Muggles, he was a wizard. But if they were different to Hermione, this summer may be even less appealing than he’d previously anticipated.

“Different how?” he asked cautiously, trying hard not to let the apprehension show through in his voice. The Grangers knew that the whole romance was a charade, but he also knew very well that he was not the type of guy any parents would want their child to bring home. Suddenly, his mind was filled with horrible images of Hermione’s father being a very angry, very muscular man who didn’t care much that Severus was not really Hermione’s boyfriend- the implication was enough to tarnish her virginal reputation and image. Oh, God, please! Severus prayed silently. Please don’t let Hermione’s father have anger management issues and be an expert with weapons of some sort.

“Um… well…” Hermione drawled slowly, hoping that the extra three seconds it took her to say the words would make what was to come next any bet “M “My parents are real… uh… *people* people.” Hermione made a pained face, but the only thing that Severus had understood from the statement was that the Grangers were, in fact, people. As he raised an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes, Hermione blurted out a rushed explanation. “My mum’s probably going to hug you. My dad’s going to want you to play golf with him. They are… erm… well… a lot happier than you or me. They’re probably even going to try and get us to go to dinner parties with them.”

Severus was quite intrigued by the scene in front of him. Hermione looked as if she had just divulged the fact that her family were all drug dealers. He wasn’t sure if he was missing something, but her parents seemed like quite pleasant people, even if they were happy. At least her father wouldn’t be trying to kill him all summer long.

“This is a problem?” asked Severus, bemused.

“Well, it’s just that they’re overly happy. They… um… you know Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and how they’re always about family and togetherness and are all 'we love everyone'? My parents are, like, fifteen times more enthusiastic. This is a weird occurrence, even for Muggles. I mean, they’re perfectly nice and sweet, but I just thought I’d warn you since, you know, you’re not normally around many people, and the ones you are around are usually afraid of you. I’m afraid that even if you go all Snapey on them, they’ll still think ‘Oh, isn’t that just so cool? That must be the way wizards act.’”

"Hermione. No matter what image I may portray, I actually don't mind happiness," Severus explained. "I haven't been exposed to a lot of it in my lifetime, but I don't have an aversion to it or anything. In fact, it's nowhere near as distasteful as, say, an annoyingly compulsive need to help people with, I don't know, potions exams." Closing her eyes briefly against his very thinly veiled barb, Hermione collected herself.

"Fine," she stated coolly. "But don't say I didn't warn you." Sarcastic smirk once again on his face, Severus looked deep in her eyes for several more minutes, not saying anything. About two seconds into the eye contact Hermione began to feel uncomfortable and her skin began to feel irritatingly hot, but she could not bring herself to break the stare. In fact, when she thought about it, his eyes were almost downright hypnotic.

Very, very, very hypnotic...

"Turn around."

"I'm sorry, what?" asked Hermione as she was shaken from her daydream, trying as discreetly as possible to ascertain whether she had been drooling.

"Turn around. We're almost to London, and I need to change." She felt color rush to her cheeks and was almost sure that if she hadn't been drooling before, she was now. Jeez! You do not like him, Hermione! He is your teacher, and you most certainly do not want to see him naked!

"Oh, right," she replied mechanically. Hermione dociley turned away from Severus and began to gaze out at the scenery. During most trips on the Hogwarts Express her favorite thing was watching the scenery, but for some reason she just hadn't paid attention. Wonder why. Oh, well, might as well start now.

Staring blankly out the window, Hermione's attention was suddenly drawn to something other than the glory of trees and blue sky.

Severus was reflected in the window.

Don't look, Hermione! Don't look! You don't want to see-

Severus removed his robes, revealing a well-tailored black dress shirt that was buttoned to the throat. Slowly, he untucked the shirt and began to unbutton it from top to bottom.

You do not want to see this, 'Mione. Close your eyes. This is the Greasy Git. This is the most feared teacher in Hogwarts history. This is the head of fucking Slytherin house! This-

Now the shirt was open exposing his pale, lean, well-muscled chest.

Oh, God! Hermione do not look- do not watch!

But she did watch- with fascination, in fact- as the muscles rippled and stretched when he reached into his bag to remove the t-shirt she'd bought him.

Oh, I want to be that shirt!

NO, 'MIONE!

With a final order to herself, Hermione closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the train window. What on earth was going on with her? Did she really think Severus Snape was attractive? And so what if she did? It wasn't as if he'd ever like her back. He was a man- an adult, mature, intelligent man, and she was still just a little girl. And he would never find her attractive. Her hair was obviously the worst of it, but she had the feeling that she was too short and her breasts were too big, and was she getting chunky in the stomach area or did she just look wide because of the sudden undeniable growth in her chest? Never in her life had Hermione felt this way- like she wasn't good enough. She'd had momentary embarrassments, but she'd never ever felt that she was completely useless in the looks department, and this upset her terribly because she knew it could only mean one thing.

She was in love for the first time.

She was worried about how she appeared to a boy- er- man, and she was sure that meant she was doomed. She was in love with Severus Snape, or at least in lust, and she had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

"Hermione!"

She was startled by the sudden pressure on her shoulder and the heat she now felt radiating next to her. Really, she would have to start paying more attention.

Oh, God, he smells good!

Opening her eyes, she sat up and turned to face Severus who had moved to sit next to her and who had placed his hand comfortingly on her shoulder.

"Are you alright? I called you several times." Severus' eyes were genuinely concerned, and Hermione felt for the first time that he actually liked her- he wasn't just putting up with her. Smiling, she took the hand that had been on her shoulder and holding it, moved it to rest between them.

"I'm fine," she lied. "I guess I must have just fallen asleep."

"My company that boring?" Severus quipped, but Hermione simply smirked at him.

"Hey- I'm not the one who told me to turn around."

"Of course not- that would make you schizophrenic."

They teased each other mercilessly for the remainder of the trip, smiling (Hermione) and holding desperately to their still-clasped hands (Severus), but sooner than later the train crawled to a stop at King's Cross. Hermione jumped up right away, eager to leave the train, but Severus held her back, waiting for the other students to exit before they made their own escape. Finally, when the coast was clear, Severus held open the door for Hermione and they emerged onto the platform.

Until the end of his life, Severus would never be able to fathom what happened to him next, no matter how many times he tried to think it through.

In a blur of activity and entirely too much human contact, a pair of strong arms encircled himhe hhe heard a high-ish feminine voice trill in his ear.

"Oh, Severus, it is so good to meet you! We are just so happy for the two of you!"

Gasping for breath and quickly losing consciousness, Severus searched for any sign of help and found it in the form of his young companion.

"Mum, please! You're strangling him! Severus is not really a hugger!" Hermione cried, the pained "My parents are drug dealers" look once again on her face. Mrs. Granger released the winded Potionsterster immediately and stepped backward.

"Of course, Severus dear, so sorry! It's just, you're the only boyfriend Hermione's ever brought home, and we're just so happy that she's happy!"

"Mum..."

"I mean, it seems like just yesterday we were packing her up for her first year at Hogwarts, making sure she had all of her supplies..."

"Mum."

"...And of course, we had to make sure she had her favorite bear, James. She's had James since she was a year old and shelwaylways said she can't sleep without him..."

"MUM!"

Hermione was flushed a very Gryffindor scarlet, but Mrs. Granger seemed to be entirely unphased.

"What is it, dear?"

Trying her hardest to not snap at her mother, Hermione decided to simply move the conversation forward before Mrs. Granger deemed it appropriate to tell Severus that she still did sleep with James.

"Let's introduce Severus to Dad, shall we?"

Moving a bit further onto the platform, Hermione took Severus' hand and led him to her father. Severus blanched to see that Mr. Granger was indeed a very big man, but at the man's firm, overenthusiatic handshake, Severus was glad to see that Hermione's father, though large, was no more violent than Hagrid.

"Bob and Margaret Granger," announced Hermione's father, beaming at Severus. "Glad to meet you."

"Severus Snape," he managed to breathe, completely sorry he hadn't taken Hermione's warning about them to heart. They were indeed very, very happy people. Honestly, if he had a daughter and she brought home a man who was as old as he was, he was quite sure he'd break the poor man's neck and send his daughter to one of those awful Muggle schools for poorly behaved children.

On his left side, Hermione gently took Severus' hand and squeezed it gently, smiling weakly at him. He grasped her hand thankfully as if it were a lifeline to sanity and began to run his thumb in soft little circles over her thumb. Unseen to him, Hermione smiled a bit more broadly and turned at least one shade redder, but at least she had the foresight to move things along.

"Why don't we go to the car, Dad? Can't keep standing on the platform all day, can we?"

Thankfully the Grangers thought that to be a terrific idea (everything, it seemed, to the Grangers was either 'terrific,' 'fabulous,' or 'brilliant.' Nothing was ever simply 'good' to them), and the foursome headed off the platform toward the c
S
Severus had thought it before, and he would think it again. It was going to be a very interesting summer.

Although the fact that Hermione still clasped his hand was making him think it may not be so bad after all.