The First Summer and Summer Series

Severus Snape hated birthdays with a passion. He seriously wished there was some way to hide the anniversary of his birth, an event which he often regretted. Unfortunately, Dumbledore was one of those people to whom birthdays were sacred. The two had already fought the battle and agreed that while the staff were welcome to wish Severus a happy birthday and recognize the event, the students were not to be involved and there would be no ridiculous singing or other frivolities.

So it was no surprise when he awoke on the morning of his birthday in very ill humor. He joined the rest of the staff at the high table for breakfast and surveyed the evidence of the day with disgust. As always, there was a large card signed by all the staff in honor of the occasion, a prim birthday card and small token gift from Minerva McGonagall, a bottle of Firewater whiskey from Flitwick and a rather more effusive card and really nice gift from Albus Dumbledore. In addition this year was a small rectangular package in mauve and a bulging yellow envelope.

There was no doubt who the mauve wrapped gift was from. Severus felt it, and shook it carefully and decided it must be a book.

“What have you got there, old man?” Flitwick asked.

“A book apparently,” Severus said in a sour voice. He was relatively sure that a book was safe to open at the high table so he began undoing the wrappings but seconds later he quickly began wrapping the book back up again. It was a copy of the Wizarding Karma Sutra.

“Well? What is it?” Flitwick asked. “Anything good?”

“No.” Satisfied Flitwick would not pursue it, he turned his attention instead to the yellow envelope. The envelope had no return address which made him suspicious. He began prodding it gently with his wand. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Flitwick lift the edge of the wrappings of the Karma Sutra. The old wizard’s eyes bulged. His face turned pink. He dropped the edge of the wrappings and gave Severus a grin before whispering something to McGonagall who looked shocked.

Severus tried a Revealing Spell on the envelope. This time he had success. The edge of the envelope popped open and shot bubo tuber pus about five feet down the table, narrowly missing Professor Trelawney.

There was shocked silefor for a moment before Dumbledore asked, “Any idea who sent it Severus?”

“Yes, had had a few similar lately.”

That was an understatement. It had been more than a few but this one was decidedly unpleasant. He gathered his gifts and left the table, muttering thanks to his colleagues for remembering the day. When he got back to his room he opened Hermione’s book. There were notes and highlighted paragraphs throughout the book. The first was marked June 4th. As he thumbed through the pages he realized that she had mapped out a sexual calendar for the entire summer, nearly three months of carnal bliss. A smile played on his lips. Trust Hermione! She was taking their sex life as seriously as she did her studies. Who else would make a revisions table out of the Karma Sutra? He had to admit, the idea was stimulating. They had already agreed they would travel to Karnipolia again so she could research her thesis over the summer.

This reminded him of the problem of Ron Weasley. Severus had already dug an old exam parchment of Weasley’s out of a cupboard and compared the handwriting with the poison pen letters he had been receiving. There was no doubt. As Hermione had mentioned, the boy must be a bit dim not to have disguised his handwriting. The bubo tuber pus and other unpleasant items he could take although it did seem childish on Weasley’s part.

A knock on his door disturbed his thoughts. He covered Hermione’s book and called, “Come in,”

The door opened to a house elf. “Please Professor, we cleaned the pus off of your letter and brought it to you.”

Gingerly, Severus reached out and took the note from the house elf’s hand. “Thank you. You may go.”

After the door was safely closed he glanced down to read what the insane boy had written this time.

Hey Snape!
Guess what I did to your girlfriend last night? And she liked it better from me than from a shriveled up old man like you! Oh, she’s good isn’t she? Pity you’re stuck at Hogwarts while I’m here to give her everything she needs. And she’s getting it from a real man, not some greasy old vampire with a nose the size of a caldron.

Severus suddenly felt ill. He knew it wasn’t true. He knew Hermione wasn’t unfaithful to him but it made him feel sick just the same. He tore the letter in half and flung it into the empty fireplace then took a swig from the whiskey. What a birthday!

Class was going to be starting soon. It took everything in him just to step through the door and not bite the heads off the students. The morning was tediously long and his temper was more foul than usual but the children had seen the bubo pus letter and knew he would be in a bad mood. They stepped gingerly around him, making the day just bearable.

Ridiculous though it was, he could not get that letter out of his head. He decided perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to reassure himself by dropping in on Hermione for the weekend. He could thank her for the gift (and try out some of the positions) and generally console himself.

After his last class on Friday afternoon, Severus apparated down to London. He didn’t tell her he was coming. Better to be a surprise. It felt good seeing the old college again, even though it did occasionally bring him flashbacks of the Deatheater days. He wandered into Hermione’s building and knocked on her door. He was almost shaking in anticipation of her surprise.

Julie answered his knock. “Sev? What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d surprise Hermione,” he replied. He looked past Julie’s shoulder into the room. Hermione wasn’t there.

“It’s a surprise all right, she’s gone away for the weekend.”

Severus narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean, gone? She never mentioned going anywhere in her letters.”

Julie swallowed, “She’s gone to spend the weekend at the Burrow with Weasel-boy’s family.”

A battering ram seemed to have hit him in the stomach. Noting his white face, Julie urged him to come in and sit down. In shock, he followed. She handed him a drink. It was some really foul cheap liquor but he threw it down his throat anyway.

“So how long has it been going on?” he finally asked quietly.

Julie’s brows knitted, “How long has what been going on?”

“Hermione and Ron.”

She shook her head. “It’s not ‘Hermione and Ron’. She’s just a friend of the Weasley family. She loves you.”

Severus gave Julie a glare, “I am not a fool and I certainly won’t stand in their way.”

“You’ve got the wrong idea...” Julie began.

“No, I’ve finally got the right idea. I knew she would get together with someone of her own age sooner or later.” He fished the Karma Sutra out of his robes and flung it angrily onto Hermione’s bed. “Tell her to give that to Weasel-boy!” and he stormed out before Julie could stop him.

Back at Hogwarts, Severus dropped onto his bed and watched a candle melt down into nothingness. He was alone again and he felt it.


It took Julie until midnight before she was able to get a message to Hermione at the Burrow. The Weasleys had taken her out to a quidditch match and they were late getting in.

Hermione took the note in her hand with dismay. She knew it must be bad news.

For god’s sakes Hermione! Run as fast as you can to that Severus of yours if you don’t want to lose him! He came here to surprise you today and I had to tell him where you were and he’s got the wrong end of it. He thinks you fancy Weasel-boy! He left here in a really foul temper. I’ve never seen anyone so upset! Go now! Don’t wait!

“Damn!” Hermione cursed. Trust Severus to show up on this weekend of all weekends! Of course she hadn’t told him about visiting the Weasleys because she knew he might just jump to that conclusion.

“What’s up Hermione?” Ron asked.

“I’m really sorry but I have to leave.”

“You can’t leave now, in the middle of the night, dear!” Mrs. Weasley advised. “Whatever it is, it can wait until morning.”

“No, it can’t,” Hermione announced firmly. “I’m needed at Hogwarts.”

“Snape!” Ron sneered.

“Yes, Severus.” Hermione acknowledged.

“But you’ve never apparated so far on your own!” Mrs. Weasley argued.

Hermione shook her head. “I’ll be fine.”

But of course she wasn’t fine. Apparating had never been any easier for her than broomstick riding. It took quite a while before she finally found herself in Hogsmeade. Then she had the long walk back to the castle in the dark. The woods were full of noisnd snd she was scared stiff by the time she reached the grounds. She was glad she wouldn’t have to go back by this path at night again. To make matters worse, she hadn’t been there two minutes before Filch caught her.

“What are you doing back here?” he sneered. “Thought we got rid of you for good.”

“Please Mr. Filch, I have to see Professor Snape right away.”

“I’m sure the professor is in bed. Why don’t you come back in the morning?”

“Because I have to see him tonight.”

“Why?”

“It’s personal.”

Filch glared at her a moment then turned, “Follow me.”

He led her into Snape’s cold office and closed the door while he went to get him. It seemed a very long time before they returned.

“Thank you Filch. You may go.” Severus said in a cold voice. He took the chair behind his desk.

“Well Miss Granger? To what do we owe this visit?”

“Severus don’t be horrid!” She bobbed up out of her seat and wrapped her arms around him. He didn’t return the embrace.

“Would you mind stating your business and letting me get back to sleep?”

“You’re an impossible bastard! Did you know that? I didn’t tell you I was going down to the Burrow because I was sure you’d jump to some stupid conclusion like this! The Weasley family are my friends. They took me to a quidditch match. This nis nothing between me and Ron. Okay?” She tried to look him in the eyes but he had some sort of defense up.

“It’s immaterial to me whether you spend time with Ron Weasley or not. I told you last year you are a free woman. You can see who you wish.”

Hermione almost screamed with frustration, “I’m not seeing Ron Weasley! I’m only seeing you! I love you!”

Severus continued in his icy tones. “And I also am free to see who I wish. At the moment, I would prefer not to see anyone, so please remove yourself from my presence.”

Hermione stared at him, her mouth slightly open. Her lower lip quivered slightly, “Severus, please!” she whispered, “I’m sorry. There is nothing at all between me and Ron. You have to believe me!”

He wouldn’t look at her. Hermione’s tears might make him relent and his jealously demanded him to press on.

“It’s for the best. It’s finished. Please leave Hermione.”

When she didn’t move, Severus summoned all his strength and walked out of the room, leaving her in tears.