Where the Heart Is

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews again. I do try to work a little faster when I get reviews.

Jorrn - I hope that this chapter clears up a little bit about Cassandra\'s mother. For your question about Snape, you\'ll just have to wait and see.

I really am trying to get stuff up as soon as it is written. I should have a little more time next weekend since I\'ll have a break from school. Thank you again.

Chapter Eight: Yule Ball

Time went on at Hogwarts as the Christmas season came upon the students and professors. Most students were getting ready to go home for the holidays as everyone wanted to be closer to their families in these uncertain times. Tonight was the closing feast before holidays were to officially begin. The fourth years and up were also to have the Yule Ball, in hopes to raise spirits even more. Evening was rapidly approaching as the girls were getting ready for the Yule Ball.

“Come on, Cassie. You should go. It’ll do you good to get out and have some fun,” Ginny said for the tenth time as she was getting ready.

Cassandra sighed and turned away from her. “I just don’t feel up to it, Ginny. You guys will go and have a wonderful time. I’ll just drag things down.”

Hermione lightly placed her hand on Ginny’s shoulder. “Leave her alone. She doesn’t want to come.” she said in a reasonable voice.

“Thank you, Hermione.” Cassandra said, glad that someone was on her side with this. She obviously didn’t want to go, and it wasn’t helping to keep being asked.

Hermione turned to her. “Personally, I think you need to stop hiding in your room and come out to join the land of the living, Cassie. Life goes on. Let’s go downstairs, Gin. The boys are waiting for us.” She then turned and left. Ginny gave another look to Cassandra and shrugged lightly and went downstairs.

Cassandra turned over, staring at the ceiling. They just didn’t understand. They didn’t even know that Voldemort wanted her to join his Death Eaters. Life had stopped for her for the most part. Sure, she went to classes, but her grades had slipped some. She couldn’t focus on school work. Potions class was the worst. It wasn’t Snape this time. After that fateful night that he had taken her to Voldemort, he had remained cool and indifferent to her. Frankly, he just didn’t seem to notice she existed any more. Potions reminded her of her father, since he was her first potions professor. She could no longer focus in the class and blundered potions that she had been helping her father do for years.

She sat up and rummaged in her trunk, finding what she was looking for. “I’ve let you down,” she said softly as she ran her fingers over the picture frame. The family in the picture looked happy. Her father, mother, and sister were smiling at her. She was smiling. Bitter thoughts formed in her mind as she thought of her mother. Her mother never understood her or her father’s world really. She did not want to hear anything about magic. Cassandra wouldn’t be surprised if her mother had never even heard her father mention the name of Voldemort and Death Eaters. She never understood what her father saw in her mother or her mother’s extremely Muggle family. Her mother had betrayed her without a thought, and she knew that if the situation occurred again, then the result would be the same. She always betrayed her, always favored Cassandra’s sister Kara who was as Muggle as one could come. Well, then again, her sister was technically a Squib. She had shown no magic ability. She loved her sister though. No matter how much she got on Cassandra’s nerves, she loved her and hated the fact that her eight-year-old sister was never going to grow up now. Then, there was her father. He was her whole world. She truly was Daddy’s Little Girl. She always thought that he would be there for her, but then everything changed. He left her here alone. She never even got a chance to say good-bye. She clutched the picture to her chest, hugging it as a few tears trickled down her pale cheeks.


Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione walked down to the Great Hall. Some of the students were dancing while the rest were milling around talking in loosely-knit groups. Dumbledore noticed Harry and his group enter. He walked over. “Mr. Potter, a moment please.” “Sure, Professor Dumbledore,” Harry said, giving a shrug to his friends’ quizzical looks. They went to a sparsely crowded part of the room. “Is Miss Black going to join us tonight?” Harry shook his head. “She won’t come down. We tried.” Dumbledore nodded. “Very well, my boy. Go on and have fun.” “Yes, sir,” Harry said, going back to his friends just to be dragged off by Ginny to dance.

Dumbledore walked over to where McGonagall was. “Can you do me a favor, Minerva?” “Yes, what is it?” McGonagall asked as she still supervised the students. “I would like for you to go up and instruct Miss Black that her presence is required.” Dumbledore said. McGonagall nodded and left for Gryffindor Tower.

Cassandra looked up as she heard the tapping on her door. She wiped her eyes and quickly placed the only photograph that she had of her family in her trunk. She opened the door, surprised to see Professor McGonagall there.

McGonagall walked in without being invited. “Do you have dress robes, Miss Black?” Cassandra nodded. “You have fifteen minutes to get ready. The Headmaster requests that you attend the ball.” “What?!” Cassandra stated in complete surprise. “I don’t want to.” “You will, Miss Black,” McGonagall stated sternly. “I’ll wait for yu outside the door. And, do put a little effort into it.”

Cassandra stood there after her door shut again. She was furious that she was being forced to attend some stupid Yule Ball. She got her dress robes and put them on. With her wand, she cast a spell to curl the ends of her long, dark brown hair. She found a silver hair clip that had a gem in it the same dusky periwinkle blue as her dress robes. She partially pulled back her hair and clipped it into place. Glancing in the mirror, she applied a little make-up, just enough to particularly cover up the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. She guessed that was good enough, and it just took fifteen minutes. Reluctant to go, she walked down to the Great Hall with Professor McGonagall. She glanced around and spotted a corner she could stand at and sulk. “You came!” Ginny said. “I was forced to come,” Cassandra said rather bitterly. “Oh, come on, Cassie. Have some fun.” Harry said, taking her hand. “Dance with me.” Harry didn’t give her a choice as she was dragged to the dance floor. She danced half-heartedly with him, and they went back to the others. She paid little attention to their chatting about going home for the holidays and Christmas in general. She was beginning to feel like a fifth-wheel as well as depressed that she didn’t have a home to go to and wasn’t expecting much of a Christmas. “I’m going to get some punch,” she said, standing up and leaving them.

She wanted to sneak out and go up to her room again, but she was stopped by the familiar voice, “Leaving so soon, Miss Black?” She turned. “I guess not, Professor Lupin,” she said. “I was just going to get some punch.” Remus smiled slightly at her. “The punch bowl is that way,” he said. She just nodded and began to walk that way. Remus walked right beside of her. “How are you doing, Cassandra? You haven’t come by my office in a couple of weeks. I’ve been worried about you.”

Cassandra sighed. She had taken to helping him around the office as well as learning new things from him. She had to know more about how to defend herself from the Dark Arts, and she always came up with more questions. Plus, she rather liked his company. He was always very polite and a good listener. “I’ve been better,” she said honestly. “Everyone just seems so happy and excited about the holidays.” She shrugged. “I’m just not.”

Remus handed her a cup of punch. “I know that this time of the year is hard, Cassie. Trust me, I know. There is a lot out there for you still. You have wonderful friends who want to see you happy.” Cassandra nodded. “I know I do. They are great, but….” She shrugged again and sighed, taking a sip of the punch.

Remus wanted to cheer her up some. He felt responsible for her. She was his best friend’s niece, after all. A slower song was now playing. “Would you like to dance with me?” he asked, holding out his hand toward her. He gave her a smile. “Or is it just not cool to dance with a professor?”

Cassandra gave a faint hint of a smile. “Well, technically, it’s not cool, but I think my reputation can’t fall any further.” she joked as she took his hand. Remus laughed and walked with her to the dance floor and began to dance with her.

In the shadows, there was a glare of heated dark eyes staring at the dancing couple. Severus had been watching Cassandra since she had entered the room. He remembered the night that he had taken her to the Dark Lord. Luckily, Dumbledore didn’t fire him for it. He wasn’t happy though. The Dark Lord hadn’t called for Severus since then, which was a blessing in a way. Severus had no intentions of taking Cassandra back to him. The only bad thing was that he was not being much help for the Order when he was needed to deliver valuable Death Eater information. He had been in contact with Lucius and was able to get some information that way. Voldemort seemed to be waiting for the right time for something, although he wasn’t sure what. He just hoped that the Dark Lord would forget all about the girl. He noticed that she seemed most unhappy to be here but that Lupin also had managed to bring a smile to her lips. He pushed the feeling down that threatened to boil over. He was not jealous. He shifted indifferently in his corner and moved his gaze anywhere else but on Miss Black.

Cassandra and Remus finished the dance. “Thank you, Professor.” Remus smiled and gave her a wink. “I hope that I didn’t damage your reputation too much.” She gave him a rather genuine smile. “I’m sure you didn’t.” Dumbledore came over to talk to Remus, and she gave him a hardened glare. First, he forces her to come. Then, he took the one person that she was talking to. She turned and walked off. Stopping a few feet away from her friends, she noticed how happy they looked. Harry and Ginny were flirting quite a bit, and Ron and Hermione were enjoying their normal rapport which she knew would eventually lead them to passionate kissing elsewhere. She didn’t have the heart to ruin their fun. With a sigh, she surveyed the room. There was nothing here for her. She was about to walk out the door when she heard the drawling voice. “Leaving so soon, Miss Black?” She turned and noticed Snape standing there. “Yes, I am. There’s no point in staying. I didn’t even want to come.”

Severus gave a glance towards the Headmaster. “It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one that was forced to be here.” Cassandra gave a hint of a smirk. “So, you are stuck here too then?” She mused. “Misery loves company,” she said more to herself than to him. She looked up at him. “Well, I’m going for a walk, Professor. It’s too crowed in here.” She turned to go. “I’ll come with you.” He said suddenly. “If you wish…” she said and continued walking.

They walked in silence for a little while. Cassandra decided to break the ice with a question that had been plaguing her. “Why have you been ignoring me?”

“What?”

“Ignoring me. You have been acting like I don’t even exist any more.” She looked at him.

“Miss Black, I have other student that I have to attend to. Besides, Lupin seems quite content in giving you attention.” He spat out more forcibly than he intended.

She visibly stiffened. “I don’t need attention. Professor Lupin only feels a responsibility for me because of my father and uncle.” She glared at him. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I need no one.” Deep down, she knew that it was a complete lie.

Severus did not believe her for a second. “Oh, you take care of yourself quite well, Miss Black. So, how long now have you been sleeping and eating so little?”

She blinked and opened her mouth to deny his observation. She sighed instead and sank down on one of the benches. “How did you know?” she inquired as her gaze fell to the floor.

“I do have two eyes,” he stated, letting her know that it was obvious. He sat down on the bench beside of her, lightly leaning back against the wall. “I haven’t been completely ignoring your condition. Your grades are slipping for the most part, especially in my class.”

She crossed her arms and sighed as she bowed her head. “You wouldn’t understand.” “Try me,” he shot back. “It’s so hard. I do know how to do the potions, but my heart isn’t in it. All of it reminds me of my father.”

“You can’t let what happened to ruin your chances for an O on your N.E.W.T.s. You have to get past this, Miss Black.” Severus stated, calmly.

She looked over at him. “It’s not easy. I don’t know how.” She uncrossed her arms and put her hands by her side. Her right hand went over Snape’s. “I’m sorry,” she said, quickly removing her hand as soon as she realized what she had done.

He looked at his own hand. “It’s okay.” He then looked at her. “Are you cold? Your hands are like ice.”

She shrugged. “I tend to stay cold lately.” She had gotten rather use to the cold numb feeling.

He reached over and took her hand between his, beginning to rub her hand to wrm it. “You need to take better care of yourself. You are going to get sick.”

Her gaze fell to her hand between his. His hands were warm and nice. “Why do you care what I do with myself?”

He sighed softly. “You are a student here and my responsibility.” He let her one hand go and took the other one.

“It really doesn’t matter. And, I’m not your responsibility. You are not even my head of house,” she stated.

“It does matter. You are a bright girl. You should start acting like it again. You’re going to end up ruining your life as well as making yourself sick.” He sighed exasperatedly. “If you don’t stop this, then you could very well end up dead. Is this what you want?” he said roughly as he let go of her hand.

She stood up and her eyes flashed. “Yes. That’s exactly what I want. I’m tired of hurting. I’m tired of the nightmares.” She turned to walk off but was held back as his hand wrapped around her wrist. Her gaze rose to meet his dark depthless eyes.

Severus looked at her as he held onto her wrist, making no move to let go. “Don’t do anything stupid, Cassandra.” His voice smooth and silky as his eyes showed a hint of concern and desperation. She shivered slightly at the silkiness of his voice. She gave him a slight quizzical look as she noticed an emotion, could it be something besides anger, in his eyes. “I won’t,” she said softly. The faint tune of a slow song drifted to them from the Great Hall. “Care to dance, Professor?” she asked suddenly.

“YOU would want to dance with ME?” he asked, not expecting this as he quickly let go of her wrist.

She shrugged. “Why not? Unless you are afraid to dance with me. Either that or that you don’t’ know how to dance.” She smirked slightly.

Severus extended his hand toward her. “I’m not afraid to dance with you.” Slowly, she took her hand. He bowed stiffly over her hand, not taking his eyes away from hers. His lips hovered just above her hand. “And, I do know how to dance, m’lady.” A smirk played on his lips as he straightened and lightly placed his hand on her hip.

She couldn’t tear her gaze away from his. She was surprised, never expecting this side of the cruel potions master that she had grown to hate. They danced fairly far apart until he spun her around, causing her to step closer to him. “You dance well. I would have never guessed.” His hand pressed more firmly against her. “There are a lot of things that you don’t know about me. Remember?” She nodded. She did remember him saying that. They got closer to each other as they danced. She actually felt comfortable in his presence. He made her feel not utterly alone. She sighed contently and lightly leaned her head against his chest, not realizing the slight hitch in his breathing or how he stiffened for a brief second before relaxing. They danced for a few minutes after the music had changed, both lonely souls lost inir rir reverie. “The music has stopped,” Severus said softly. She looked up at him as it took a moment to fully realize what that meant. “Thank you for the dance, Professor.” Suddenly, she leaned up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. Her eyes then fell on Dumbledore watching them. “Good night, Professor Snape.” She said, taking a step away from him. “Thank you again. Good night, Professor Dumbledore.” She then stepped around Snape and left.

“Good night, Miss Black,” Albus said, walking over to Severus. Severus looked guilty, like he had been caught in a compromising position. “Headmaster, I can explain.” Albus held up his hand. “There is no need, Severus. You two were just dancing. She seemed happy, and it’s been a while since she has been that way. She needs someone she can count on. I think she may even look up to you as a father type.” Severus was not thrilled with that assessment. The twinge in his lower regions told him that he never wanted Cassandra Black as a daughter. “Yes. Well, if there is nothing else, Headmaster, I have a few things I need to do.” “Of course, Severus. Good night,” Albus said, an unnerving twinkle in his eyes. “Good night,” Severus said and left, unable to think much about anything other than her soft warm lips on his cheek. As far as he could remember, females just didn’t kiss him on the cheek or any where else for that matter…at least not very willingly. He let out a frustrated groan and began to think about potions to keep his mind from going to the lovely student who was just as lonely as he was.

Cassandra walked back up to Gryffindor Tower. She absentmindedly twisted a piece of her hair around her finger. “I must be lonely,” she said as she chastised herself as she remembered fondly of her time with Snape tonight. She ran her tongue over her lips, imagining that she could still taste him on them. She sighed, not knowing what was wrong with her. It was Professor Snape of all people! She figured again that she was just lonely and that he was there when she needed someone to be. Despite this, she had to admit that it hadn’t been too dreadful at the Yule Ball.


A/N: Now that you have read, please take a moment to review. I greatly appreciate it!