Dirty deeds

2 January – breakfast (or would be if I ever got up ime) me)

Has been hell of a day. Sex kitten reputation now been broadcast to widest possible audience. Discretion be damned. On the plus side Ron and I haade ade up – but only in a platonic way.

Was woken rather pleasantly this morning, as Severus and Not-so-little Severus decided to make it up to me for disappointment of the night before. I believe I have mentioned before that Severus has a disturbingly cuddly side to him – during the course of the night he had cosied up to me, and had spooned up to me and wrapped his arm round me.
For one dreadful moment I thought it was Ron and was getting ready to ‘accidentally’ elbow him in the stomach whilst still ‘asleep’, when remember where I was and more importantly who I was with.

The dreadful snoring seemed to have stopped, and his breath was gently huffing on the back of my neck rather than blowing a force ten gale. So I discreetly slipped my hand to the wand under my pillow and cancelled the silencing charm. You can imagine the scene that would have resulted if he had woken up before I cancelled it. Obviously it wouldn’t have involved a lot of shouting but I did think that throttling might feature in it.

Can only hope that snoring like that is function of excessive consumption of firewhiskey, and if that is the case then he will be on the wagon whenever he is with me. A gag may be going too far, at least for snoring prevention, although may be fun in other contexts. Idea of tying Severus up and getting him to beg for mercy – in muted tones due to gag – suddenly seemed like a very good idea. Suddenly realised that was thinking in terms of long term relationship, and this means that I will have to make an effort to find some sort of common ground. Libraries work well for me.

There was another wand pressing into my back as well. Severus started kissing the back of my neck, and the hand draped affectionately across my waist moved up to an even friendlier position on my breast. Spent next few minutes in delightful haze of contentment, with Ses drs drawing circles on various portions of my anat Was Was nice to be the lazy one for once. The circles got bigger and bigger, until his fingers were insinuating themselves between my thighs. They circled, they delved, they fluttered and they moved backwards and forwards.

Made small whimper of disappointment when they were removed, but was for sole purpose ofdingding Not-so-little Severus into his favourite resting place. Not that much resting is ever involved. Was small moment of panic when he seemed to be attempting the more complicated, and shall we say more advanced manoeuvre into the bonus tunnel, so was big sigh of relief when he slid home into the correct orifice.

Views on buggery are similar to those on blow jobs – all about blokes being selfish bastards. Does require more expenditure of energy on their part, and also gives the passive partner a better chance of reading a book throughout the process. Have never tried it personally, and certainly not keen on making first forays into what you might call NEWT level sex before breakfast. Rather stick to OWLs at the moment, until I am sure I can take the stabilisers off my bike without wobbling.

When Ron suggested it, I did agree subject to me being allowed to take him up the arse with a dildo as well. Turnabout is fairplay. Must remember not to use that excuse with either Severus / Lucius as have sneaking suspicion that they would look on that as an exciting extra rather than run screaming to bathroom and lock themselves in until I promise to put the church candles down. Ron has no sense of irony at all.

Number of mixed metaphors indicative of degree of excitement. Wonder if sloppy grammar sign of moral decay.

As he slowly moved to and fro, Severus returned his fingers to their previous happy home, where they received a warm and wet welcome. Unfortunate thought flashed across my mind from a cartoon I watched as a child. ‘Roobarbs slim pianist fingers danced across the keyboard’. Concert pianist of fingering. Flexible, sensitive and incredible reach.

Mindful of comments made before about death threats – not that there seemed to be any necessity for such threats I can tell you – I merely confined myself to making encouraging sighs and moans. I came in a long shuddering climax that seemed to last for ages, and I was dimly aware that at some point Severus had tipped over the edge too. We clung together, all hot and sweaty for a moment, and then he growled a good morning in my ear.

I rolled over to face him as he apologised for not being awake to greet me the previous night. Overall, I consider the fact that Severus is capable of making an apology is even more surprising than him being good in bed. After all, there were a few distant admirers of the Slytherin Sex God at Hogwarts. And I don’t mean Draco! It was easier to imagine him in the grip of animal passion, than actually lowering himself to apologise.

Rather than savouring the moment to its fullest – so Ron was wrong, I don’t have to rub someone’s nose in it when they are wrong, just obnoxious red-heads with small willies – I just smiled and kissed the tip of his nose. It was so pleasant lying there, his head cradled between my breasts, one leg casually draped over me, that I was reluctant to leave.

Severus was also reluctant for me to go, and followed me to the door, stealing kisses and holding on to my hands. I managed to get the door open, but he pinned me against the door jamb and started nuzzling my neck. I was all breathless and giggly, and just on the point of going back into the room, when I head my name being bellowed.
Ron.

Bugger.

Severus stopped what he was doing – double bugger – and I turned to see Ron indignantly huffing and puffing over what he saw. ‘How could you,’ he announced in tones of loathing. ‘Snape!’ Of course, by this time the whole house was coming to see what the excitement was. Draco, Harry, Lucius – no surprise on his face, just another smirk – and Ginny. She was desperately trying to hide her giggles behind her hand. Severus had my hand in a convulsive grip, but his face was impassive.

Triple bugger, in fact triple bugger on a stick.

And then, mirabile dictu – and visu – who hoved into view behind the – soon to be revealed as a rank hypocrite – Ron but Pansy – slut of slytherin – Parkinson. The temptation was overwhelming, and I responded in kind. ‘Ron! How could you! Pansy!’

So Ron looked at me, and I looked at Ron, and then we both looked at Harry and burst out laughing. When we regained control of ourselves, there was a slightly awkward pause. What to say next?

I cracked an enormous yawn. ‘I think I had better go back to bed,’ I said, and slid and arm encouragingly round Severus’s waist. ‘I suggest you do the same.’ And with that I was pulled back into the bedroom, and, in between kisses, was pushed towards and then onto the bed.

Didn’t get up in time for breakfast, or lunch, and dinner was a damn near run thing. Big smile on my face though.

I suppose I could always get ear-plugs.