100 Ways to Kill a Weasley

A/N: I have finally given in and decided to add to this. I have read some really amazing shorts so far, so I hope that mine doesn\'t end up totally ruining this series!



(Before anyone points this out, the She Mantis is something I borrowed from Buffy, but I changed her victim around a bit.)



-IncaShine



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"Are you sure you don\'t know what happened to Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger?"



Hermione looked up at the Auror with wide eyes. In all honesty, she had no clue what had happened in the apartment while she was at work. Like any average day she and Ron had a quick breakfast before they both dashed off to work. Or, in Ron\'s case, before he dashed off to hide until she was safely at work before he returned home. Of course she thought it was rather odd that she didn\'t see him at the Ministry at all that day, since they would usually see each other at least twice in passing from point A to point B, and they always met in the employee cafeteria for lunch. She figured that his kippers hadn\'t settled with him and he had returned home for the day.



It wasn\'t until she got home that she noticed something was terribly wrong. Normally when Ron was sick, he parked it out on the sofa in front of the television watching the large TV that he insisted that they own. Footie was his new obsession, as was that David Beckham character, so it wasn\'t shocking to see him rooted to the sofa for hours watching that man \'bend it\', or whatever fancy things he did with a football.



Instead of the screaming fans and yelling sports announcers, there was silence.



She walked into the living room and there was no Ron on the couch.



Maybe he decided to lay down?



The gruesome scene in the bedroom made her stomach turn and she dashed to the bathroom, her body forcibly expelling everything she had eaten since breakfast. Once she had wiped her face she ran for the floo and immediately called for the Aurors.



"And that\'s all you can remember, Miss Granger?"



Grimly she nodded. "Yes, sir. That is what happened."



Another Auror, a woman with a kind face, stepped up behind the rather stern looking man that was doing his best to make her feel guilty. "Lay off, Roberts." She kneeled down in front of Hermione\'s chair and took her hands. "We will have all of this straightened out, ok? Do you have anywhere you can go for the time being?"



Hermione shook her head. She wasn\'t in the mood to deal with a brood of mourning Weasleys and her parents were still in Australia, after they found that they genuinely enjoyed living there and flat out refused to return to England.



"She will return to Hogwarts with me." Hermione looked away from the kind faced Auror in front of her to see her former Potions Professor and the man who oversaw her apprenticeship over the woman\'s shoulder.



The woman stood, never letting go of Hermione\'s hands. "And who might you be, sir?"



"Severus Snape, Potions Master. That is my former apprentice that you are speaking to, and I feel that I am in the position to step in."



Her eyes began to water when she saw two Aurors walking through the apartment, one levitating a black body bag, and the second carrying a smaller bag. She knew full well what those bags contained, and just wanted to get out of there.



Hermione was never more grateful to see his face. She yanked her hands away from the female Auror and dashed over to him, burying her face into his chest and wondering when on earth he had arrived. At that moment she finally felt that she could let the tears that she had tried oh so hard to hold back run free.



"You will be able to contact her at Hogwarts. Now if you will excuse us."



And they were gone with a near silent pop.



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The next morning Hermione sat at Snape\'s small dining room table, that morning\'s edition of The Daily Prophet spread out before her. She had expected to see the death of a Ministry official to make the front page, but oddly enough the only thing they seemed to cover that morning was the finals of that year\'s Quidditch World Cup. Quickly she flipped through the pages, her eyes keen on spotting anything about the investigation since she had not been contacted.



There, in the \'Crime Beat\' section, was a small blurb.



Ronald Billius Weasley, 24, was found dead in the apartment he shared with his girlfriend yesterday. Though there isn\'t much being released at this time, it was determined that he had fallen victim to a She Mantis, a demon that masquerades as a beautiful woman and dines on her victim\'s head after intercourse. Our deepest condolences go out to his family and friends.



She jumped when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder. "I told you he was cheating on you while you were studying under me. Do you believe me now?"



Hermione allowed him to help her stand from the chair, and accepted the small comfort he offered her in the form of an embrace.



"I always told him that his libido would be the death of him."