Troubled Love

Title: Troubled Love

Time: It takes place in their 7th year

***

Chapter 7: Trouble

***

~

***

Harry stood under a far-too-hot shower. He noticed that his skin had turned red, but he didn’t care.

“I can’t believe I agreed with this stupid plan,” Harry muttered to himself, grabbing the shampoo and putting it into his hair.

It had been a week since Draco and Harry kissed outside the Great Hall. It was Saturday, much to Harry’s relief. His whole week had been nothing but waking up with a headache and a heartache, going to class, failing miserably trying to concentrat cla class, end up in detention, finally fall asleep at 4 in the morning and wake up with a headache again. What bothered him the most was that no matter what he was doing, he couldn’t get his mind off Draco. As if he was addicted to Draco’s touch and longing to feel it so much that he thought he was going mad.

Harry decided after his little flight, that cost him a week detention and 50 points from Gryffindor, that he was going to avoid Draco. Why should he feel bad every time he saw Draco if they weren’t meant to be anyway. The castle had proved that. At first Draco tried to make eye-contact with him or signal him in some way, but he ignored it. Although sometimes he had to bite on the inside of his cheek so hard it bled. Now it seemed like Draco had forgotten about him. Draco didn’t try to talk to him anymore...

\"He got over it, something you should do too,\" he heard Hermione say.

After that Harry pretended to be over Draco, which made him feel absolutely miserable. He was back to calling him ‘Malfoy’ again, although, in his mind he was still Draco. Of course Harry was mad at Draco, but deep down he knew that if he had the chance he would go back to Draco in a second. That made him feel weak and he forced himself to pretend to be ‘so over him’, maybe that would harden him up inside. But it didn’t, his heartache was far from over, to be honest it got worse every day.

Yesterday he was so mad at himself that he messed up his whole room and, of course, Hermione walked in that very moment. He saw the shocked look in her eyes. She probably thought he had gone mad. And maybe he had... His life was always so fucked up. Now that he finally killed Voldemort, he\'d fallen in love with his enemy, who decided to play games with him, as if he could become more miserable. Life’s not fair. Sometimes Harry wondered why he was even trying to have a normal life. Everywhere he went people would see him as ‘The-boy-who-saved-the-world’ and trust me, that was even worse than ‘The-boy-who-lived’.

He had to admitted to Hermione that his feelings for Draco were still strong and that he wanted him back. That he didn’t care about the fact that Draco might have used him, which of course he did. He just couldn’t believe that, how could someone fake something like that? The nights they spent together weren’t all about sex, he had told Draco things he hadn’t told anyone. Draco, on his turn, had told him things no one knew.

That’s why he said yes to this stupid plan of Hermione\'s. \"Make him jealous, men go crazy if you make them jealous. He’ll want you back in no time,\" Hermione had said to him. He said yes, and here he was preparing himself to go to Hogsmeade. Even though he didn’t feel like going at all. What if Draco isn’t there? All of this will be for nothing!

“Harry, when are you going to be finished?” Hermione yelled from his room.

Harry sighed and turned off the shower. ‘Here we go,’ he told himself, stepping out of the shower.

He had grown used to his female body, not that he liked it more than his male body... No way in hell he was going to like being a girl. He didn’t understand them with all their plans to get what they wanted. He smiled when he realised that he never knew this side of Hermione. To him Hermione had always been the clever, non-girl-talk kind of girl. Nerd, you could say. But to tell you the truth, nothing is what it seems with Hermione. He got her to admit that she wanted Ron, but is she going to go after him? No, of course not. He’ll have to come to her! Girls, weird creatures. He was going to tell Ron that, when he was back in his normal dorm again. Without Hermione by his side all the time, not that he minded that much.

Harry stepped into the room and grabbed the clothes Hermione was offering him. A short jeans-skirt, a black top and black boots.

“You may borrow them,” Hermione smiled, seeking some kind of approval in Harry’s eyes.

“Thanks,” he sighed, smiling weakly.

“Harry, with that attitude you’re not getting anywhere,” Hermione said, sitting on his bed.

He put on his underwear and muttered, “Sorry”.

*^*

Hermione had finally approved his looks and they were heading towards Hogsmeade. Ron had joined then and Harry had told him all about his ‘mission’. On the way towards Hogsmeade, Harry began to get a little bit nervous. He realised that secretly he did want to see Draco jealous and take his revenge... Revenge is sweet, even for someone as innocent as an angel.

The three of them entered the three broomsticks, while the music was inviting them in. Harry looked around and saw that eitDracDraco wasn’t there yet or he was standing against the wall kissing some girl and Harry couldn’t see him. The latter disturbed Harry more than he thought was possible. He quickly shook the thought out of his mind and forced a smile on his lips.

“Remember, Harry, even if Malfoy isn’t here he’ll hear about it,” Hermione whispered in his ear, as if she was sensing Harry’s thoughts.

Harry turned around and smiled at her. He started to scan the room for cute looking boys. To his relief there were quite a few and their eyes were upon him. The people in the three broomsticks were mostly from Hogwarts, some of them were already finished with Hogwarts.

They walked towards the bar, where Ron ordered three butterbeers. When he finally got them they went to the last unoccupied table in the bar and sat down.

“I still think it’s weird that boys want me, when they know I’m Harry Potter,” Harry started, taking a sip of his beer. “Of course not all of them are from Hogwarts.”

“Honestly, Harry,” Hermione laughed, rolling her eyes. “You killed Voldemort, it would be an honour to be with you. Even for boys,”

Harry snorted. “An honour? To be with a mental freak like me?”

“Harry, tonight you get to pick. Trust me,” Hermione smiled at him, while Ron was shifting uncomfortably.

Harry bit on his nail and looked around again. Boys and girls were looking at him and smiling. Harry was a bit startled at first, but a smile appeared on his face when he began to like the attention. He was going to take his revenge and he was going to pick the cutest guy.

His eye fell on a tall, dark brown boy. Harry guessed he was one year younger. When he looked closer, he saw that the boy bore a Slytherin crest on his sweater. ‘Even better’ Harry thought wickedly.

“Spotted your target?” Hermione asked amused when she noticed Harry’s gaze. She followed it and smirked, “Good choice, a Slytherin, how cruel.”

Harry looked away as the boy glanced his way. His cheeks flustered and he was suddenly very interested in his butterbeer.

“Ouch!” Harry growled, when he felt someone kick him against his leg. He looked up and saw that Hermione was looking at his with raised eyebrows, obviously trying to say something. Harry had no idea what though. He still didn’t understand girl-language. He shot her a glare, rubbing his leg.

“Are you alright?” He heard a voice say next to him.

He looked up and looked right into two bright blue eyes. “Y-Yes, fine. I’m fine,” Harry stuttered. ‘How did he get here so soon?’ he thought, smiling slightly.

“I would ask if I could buy you a drink, but I see you already have one,” the boy continued, smiling.

“Eh... thanks,” Harryped,ped, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t good at this at all.

The boy smiled even more. “You’re cute. My name’s Thomas King,” he said, holding out his hand.

“My name’s-” Harry began, but Thomas interrupted him.

“Harry Potter. I know, everybody knows that.”

Harry tried to smile, not so pleased with the fact that everybody knew that.

“So, do you want to dance?” Thomas asked, still holding out his hand.

Harry nodded and grabbed his hand. He looked behind him and saw that Ron had a relieved look on his face and Hermione was winking at him.

Harry didn’t know the song and felt uncomfortable, he wasn’t a good dancer. It wouldn’t surprise him if he tripped over his own feet in the middle of the song and landed face first on the ground, utterly humiliated.

Thomas slipped his hands around Harry’s waist and pressed their bodies against each other. Harry automatically slipped his hands around Thomas’ neck. The boy was smelling very nice, probably some expensive fragrant. They started to move a little to the music and danced cheek to cheek.

When they turned a bit, grey stormy eyes were locked on his. Draco was standing in the doorway, looking at him. He had never seen him look so gorgeous as he did tonight. His beauty was capturing his gaze completely. He noticed Draco was looking quite startled and hurt.

‘Just what he deserves,’ Harry told himself, although he was feeling quite different about the matter.

Their gaze broke when Thomas shifted a bit, hiding Harry’s eyes for Draco.

“How did you end up like this?” Thomas asked suddenly, looking into his eyes.

“Eh... Potion accident,” Harry answered, smiling. “I’m not that good in Potions.”

“You mean a Potion miracle,” Thomas quipped, smirking.

Harry grinned and blushed slightly.

The music changed into a slower, more romantic song.

Harry’s eyes widened and he took in a breath when he felt a hand on his arse, squeezing it. He pressed his lips together firmly and buried his face into the boys neck, trying not to giggle. ‘What the hell is that boy thinking?’ he thought uncomfortably.

Apparently the boy got the idea that he liked it, because now his other hand was heading there too.

‘Oh my....’ he thought, not knowing what to do. ‘OK, the boy’s cute, but he’s going to fast for me. It’s not like I’m going to kiss him.’

Harry glanced at Draco again and saw that Draco’s eyes were focused on the two big hands on his arse. Draco looked absolutely miserable.

‘That’s what you wanted, right?’ Harry told himself, tearing his look away from Draco. ‘Think of what he did to you, think of what he did to you...’ he chanted in his head.

Harry squeaked when he felt a tongue rush over his ear. ‘OK, that’s it. I’m out of here,’ he thought.

“Eh... it was very nice to dance with you,” he stuttered, trying to get away.

“I’m not going to let you go so soon,” Thomas whispered, pressing him tighter against Thomas’ body.

Now Harry was beginning to feel really, really ufortfortable. He grinned, “Silly you,” And tried to release himself once again.

“I’m dead serious,” Thomas spoke, squeezing Harry’s arse so hard that it hurt.

Harry looked at him and his eyes hardened. ‘How dare he,’ he thought, ready to push the boy away. He forgot about that, when he felt a pair of lips pressed against his and a tongue being pushed in his mouth. Harry still had his eyes open and met Draco’s hurt look. The hands on his arse were now underneath his skirt. ‘What was he doing?’

Quickly he pushed Thomas away from him and pulled out his wand. Everyone was now looking at them. ‘I really messed up this time,’ he thought. “Stay away from me, you pervert,” he spoke, louder than he wanted.

The boy smiled sheepishly, “Don’t make such a fuss, baby.”

“I’m not your baby,” Harry spat. He walked towards a shocked Ron and Hermione, grabbed his cloak and took a big sip of his butterbeer to clean his mouth from the horrible taste of Thomas’ tongue. He spit the sip in his glass again and walked towards the door. Avoiding Draco and Thomas as if they carried the plague. No one had spoken a word since Harry had pushed Thomas away from him.

With a loud bathe the door closed behiim. im. He started running towards Hogwarts, he just wanted to get away from the mess he made.

Why was it that nothing seemed to be working out with him? Did someone curse him? Maybe he was... cursed to life a unhappy life.

He looked behind him. For a second he wondered why Ron and Hermione weren’t coming after him, but he was happy they didn’t. He didn’t feel like talking to them about it.

He wanted to cry, but resisted the temptation to. He wasn’t weak, he had to be strong. Nobody was going to see him cry. Even though he felt like he was drowning, as if there was nothing left to live for.

He saw people looking at him as he ran through the corridors of Hogwarts. Not that he cared. Something had just frozen his heart. Emotions were exploding in his heart, he didn’t want to live another day if this horrible feeling didn’t go away. He walked into his room and collapsed on his bed, finally giving in into the tears.

*^*

He didn’t know how long he had cried before he fell asleep with his clothes still on. He didn’t even realise he had fallen asleep until somebody woke him up.

“Harry,” Hermione said, pushing his hair out of his face.

He groaned and hid his face in his pillow. “Go away, I don’t want to talk about it,” he muttered.

“Harry!” Hermione said this time a bit louder, trying to turn him around. “I’m sure you want to hear what happened.”

“No! I don’t want to know that they think I’m a fool and that tomorrow the newspapers will be filled with gossip about me,” he yelled into his pillow and he put his fingers into his ears, knowing he was acting childish, but he didn’t care.

“Ron!” Hermione exclaimed indignantly.

“Harry, mate, you\'ll really want to hear what Malfoy did,” Ron said, patting him on his shoulder.

Harry sat up immediately. \"Malfoy?”

“Finally got your attention,” Hermione rolled her eyes. “As I wanted to tell you, Malfoy started a fight with Thomas.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “Really?”, he asked, taken aback.

Hermione smiled and nodded, but her smile disappeared. “He’s in trouble.”

“Thomas? Well he should be!” Harry exclaimed.

“No, Harry, Malfoy is in big trouble,” Hermione said, biting on lip lip. “Really big trouble.”

Harry looked at Ron, mentally begging him to say Hermione was lying, but Ron seemed to have become intensely interested in the fingernails of his right hand. “What?” he asked, feeling sick.

“When you were gone Malfoy attacked Thomas. Telling him to stay away from you. Unfortunately, Thomas was much taller and had a wand in his hand. They both were arrested by the Ministry of Magic and it will be in the papers,” Hermione told Harry almost whispered.

“That they had a fight?” Harry asked, searching for the eyes of his friends.

“Yes,” Hermione whispered. “And... Ron tell him!”

“And that he’s in love with you,” Ron said. “He’s in very bad shape mate. He’s now with Madame Pomfrey.”

“He’s in love with me?” Harry asked, startled.

“Yes, but think, Harry!” Hermione said, looking as if she was going to cry. “Imagine how his house will react, not to mention his parents! They were talking about him breaking some Slytherin rule. He’s in trouble, Harry!”

Harry clapped his hand over his mouth and stood up. “Oh my God! I’m going to him.”

Hermione and Ron nodded at the same time. “His friends were talking about him being transferred to Durmstang,” Ron added quietly.

Harry started to scream. “It’s all my fault. Argh!”

“Just go!” Hermione yelled, pushing him towards the door.

~*~

Harry ran through the corridors for the second time that night, this time it was much later and much harder. He wondered if Draco was going to forgive him... He didn’t even take the timeput put on his boots again and was glad he didn’t. He couldn’t walk in those things.

When he finally reached the infirmary doors and saw that Madame Pomfrey was just walking into one of the other rooms. He decided to take his chances and stormed into the room, looking around. He saw the curtains were closed around two beds. One was Draco’s, he knew that, but the other one was Thomas’. He didn’t want to see him again, because he knew he wasn’t able to control himself if he did.

He bit his lips as he heard Madame Pomfrey’s footsteps coming closer again. Quickly he chose a bed and hid himself behind the curtain. To his relief it was Draco’s bed.

Draco was lying on the bed with his eyes closed. He had several bruises in his face, but he still looked angelic to Harry.

On his toes he walked towards Draco and touched his cheek and lips. Making Draco’s eyes snap open.

“Hay,” Harry mouthed, looking extremely worried.

To his surprise, Draco smiled and grabbed his hand.

“I’m so sorry,” Harry mouthed, while tears were filling his eyes.

Draco shook his head and pulled Harry towards him into a hug. “I’m the one who should be sorry,” Draco whispered in Harry’s ear. “I didn’t realise that what I did was effecting you like that.”

Suddenly the lights went out and darkness surrounded them.

“Madame Pomfrey’s going to b Dra Draco whispered, waiting until his eyes were used to the darkness. He signaled for Harry to come into his bed, lifting the bedclothes for him.

Quickly Harry took off his clothes, except his underwear and crawled into the bed. “What are you going to do?” he whispered, while Draco’s arms were wrapped around him.

“Wait until my bruises are gone, I guess. Madame Pomfrey said I had to live with the consequences of my actions, so she healed the wounds but didn’t remove the bruises,” Draco answered, sighing softly.

“I didn’t mean that,” Harry whispered, pushing himself up so he could look into Draco’s eyes. “I meant what are you going to do about the newspapers,”

“Oh that,” Draco said looking away. “I didn’t know you knew that... There’s nothing I can do, but deal with it.”

“But that’ll...” Harry couldn’t continue, his voice seemed to be lost.

Draco caressed Harry’s cheek, “I broke a very important rule in the Slytherin house. Do not curse or attack another Slytherin. Which means I’m the bad guy now and believe me, you don’t want to be the bad guy. My father and mother will find ohat hat Harry Potter is the girlfriend of their son. All the guests at the party will know... It will be utterly humiliating for them. They\'ve already lost the war and now their son’s shagging the one and only, Harry Potter.”

“What will they do to you?” Harry asked, dreading the answer.

“Transfer me, punish me,” Draco answered, swallowing a lump in his throat.

Harry buried his face into Draco’s neck. He didn’t care about the world knowing that he and Draco Malfore lre lovers. They\'ve said worse things about him... But for Draco it was different, it would ruin his whole world and the thing they had together. No way in hell Lucius Malfoy was going to let Draco see him ever again.

He worked his way up, seeking Draco’s lips. This pain was even worse than the pain he had felt the last few days. He wasn’t sure he could survive this amount of pain.

When Harry’s lips met Draco’s, he noticed that Draco was having a hard time too, trying to fight back his tears. They both knew this could be their last night together.

The kiss deepened and finally Harry felt the velvet touch of Draco’s tongue again, finally he smelled Draco’s scent again, finally he could play with Draco’s hair again and finally he felt the warm tickling feeling in his stomach return.

“Draco, I have to confess something,” Harry whispered, when their kiss ended.

“Me too,” Draco whispered back.

“I love you...” Harry whispered, seeking for the right words.

“Is that all?” Draco snorted.

“No,” Harry glared, not that Draco could see it. “Let me finish... I loved you before I turned into a girl.”

For a few seconds Draco didn’t say anything, until he said hoarsely, “What?”

“Shouldn’t have told you that,” Harry whispered, sitting up.

“No, I mean yes! Of course you should have told me that! I thought you only liked me because you turned into a girl and got girl-hormones,” Draco whispered, sitting up as well. “but you’re gay...”

“Well, better be going now,” Harry said, trying to get out of the bed. ‘This is so humiliating. Why... WHY DID I HAVE TO START THAT!?!’

“Don’t be silly, you haven’t heard my confession yet,” Draco grinned, grabbing his arm. “I liked you before that stupid potion too. I can’t believe you didn’t notice that! All the stories about me trying to talk to you weren’t because I wanted to know what was wrong with you! Partly they were, but the biggest part was because I was in love with you, Idiot!”

Harry blinked a few times. Everything he dreamed for had come true. Suddenly he began to laugh. “Isn’t it ironic. Every time I get what I want something’s blocking it. Finally I got a father figure in my life, and that bitch took him away. Finally, I have you and now your father, the Slytherin house and can\'t forget that stupid castle is blocking it!” His laughing had turned into crying before he reached the end of his sentence.

Draco just pulled Harry close to him and lay back on the bed again with Harry in his arms. Their bodies entangled, their tears mixed

*^*

A/N I\'m sorry this took so long. And I\'m sorry I didn\'t mail you that there was a new chapter!
I\'m in a rush, have to go in one minute!! I\'m going away for 4 days and didn\'t want you to wait any longer!

Thanks t lov lovely betareader!!!