Love is Blind

Chapter 7

Hermione curled up in a ball
wishing she could cry, or at least hit something. First, she had
unintentionally offended Severus, and then she yelled at her best friends who were
just trying to comfort her. Well, it wasn’t exactly her fault that Ron and
Harry could be immature gits. She tried to recall what had upset her so much
for her to make them leave. She defended Severus. Hell, that would throw anyone
off, hearing the Gryffindor know-it-all defend someone who had been so mean to
her for so many years. But Severus was different, now. He was kind and
compassionate. She had always wondered if somewhere under that thick
death-eater shell that he had a heart. He did indeed, but she was the only one
to see it, to feel it. She wondered if he felt the same about her. She sat like
that, thinking, for a few moments when the sudden aroma of wood, spice and
roast beef invaded her nose.

“Severus?”

“I’ve brought your dinner, Miss
Granger,” Snape said flatly. Hermione cringed at his use of her formal name.

“I want to apologize again,
Severus. I shouldn’t have asked you what I did. Please forgive me.”

Severus put the trays he was
carrying down on the side table and sat on the bed next to her. “Hermione,
maybe someday I will be able to answer that question. But right now, you have
enough to worry about, without my history. So let’s not discuss it any more,”
his tone had softened but still enforced that it was the end of said topic. “I
passed Msrrs. Potter and Weasley as they were leaving. How was your visit?” he
asked as if he didn’t already know the answer.

“It was all right. Thank you,” she
lied. “That food smells delicious, can we eat now?” she asked as she sat up in
her bed and propped herself on the pillows.

She was surprised when Severus
took her hand and gently wrapped it around a cold glass of pumpkin juice. As
she drank she could hear the clinking of silverware against the china plate.
She assumed that Severus had started eating his own meal. She reached toward
the table to put down the glass when he took it from her hand and replaced it
with a fork. She tentatively felt for the plate but before she could reach it,
Severus took her hand, guided it to the plate and helped load her fork. She
slowly brought it to her mouth. The dinner continued much this way, with
Severus politely helping her with every bite and sip. It was wonderful - the
food and the company.

The past few days had exposed a
whole new side of Severus Snape that Hermione had never imagined. The fact that
he was now feeding her dinner was unfathomable. Since her fourth year, she knew
of his espionage for Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix, but now seeing
how ‘normal’ he actually was, had founded her respect for him that much more.
She couldn’t help but see him as one of the most beautiful people she had ever
known. No, he was not what most people thought attractive, but to Hermione, his
heart, mind, and courage far out shadowed any worldly ideals. He was a complete
and utter bastard most of the time, but this new side of the potions master was
easy to fall in love with. Fall in love? Was she falling in love with
him? The more she thought about it, she thought that might be the case. She loved
being around him. She felt safety and comfort when he held her, not to mention
the tingle that lingered when he let go. Always the devil’s advocate, Hermione
thought, ‘I will always just be a know-it-all Gryffindor to him. He’s doing
this all out of guilt and pity. He would never love me. What am I doing? This
is Severus Snape of all people; do I really want him to love me? Hmmm… yes, yes
I do.’

When her plate was empty, Severus
picked up a small bowl and held it under her nose. “Smell,” he told her silkily.
She inhaled deeply.

“Chocolate?”

“Very good, Hermione,” he smiled.

Her hand cautiously moved up his
arm to the bowl and she scooped up some pudding with her finger. ‘ Let’s
test this theory, shall we?’ she thought as she smiled bringing her finger
to her mouth and sucking the pudding off.

Severus took a ragged breath.
“W-would you, um… like a s-spoon?” he stuttered.

She smiled slyly and nodded. ‘Maybe
I was wrong.’

Severus had to fight to keep his
composure. Hermione had thrown him for a loop when she sucked the pudding off
her finger. Throughout dinner he had been fascinated with the way her lips
caressed the fork with each bite. He had had to shake his head many times to
clear his fogged mind. Then, with the pudding stunt, he could feel his trousers
become a few sizes too small in a certain area. Who would have ever pictured
the feared potions master feeding the insufferable know-it-all that was the
bane of his existence for seven long years? But, she was no longer his student.
She was to longer a little girl. Now, she was a woman, and a beautiful one at
that.

‘Why did she have use her
finger?’ he asked himself. ‘Did she know what she was doing? Did she do
it on purpose? If she did, what am I going to do about it? Oh, the
possibilities… She was turning him into a perverted old man. If she could
read his mind right now, she would run and hide. Hell, he wanted to run
and hide.

It had been such a long time since
he had the pleasure of being with a woman. That was not what scared him. What
scared him was his heart’s reaction to her. He felt young again when he was
with her. He felt appreciated, respected and… loved? No, no one could ever love
him. She deserves a love much bigger that he could give. He was a broken man
with a hateful past. He didn’t deserve love, especially hers.

After the pudding was gone,
Hermione laid back in bed, fully satiated from her dinner. Severus banished the
trays with a quick flick of his wand. They sat in companiable silence for quite
a few minutes as they both reflected on the growing friendship.

Hermione was the first to break
the silence, “Severus?”

“Hmmm?”

“Would you do something for me?”
she asked hesitantly.

‘Anything,’ he answered
silently. “Of course Hermione. Are you in pain? Is everything all right?” She
laughed to herself at his obvious concern.

“No, Severus. I’m fine. I just…
gods this is hard to ask,” she said shaking her head.

Severus leaned over and grasped
her hand. “Whatever it is, I’ll do it, Hermione. Just say it.”

“Will you… read to me?”

He chuckled lightly, “Is that all?
Of course I will. Anything in particular?”

“Well, there is a book on my
bedside table that I’ve been reading, but whatever you’d like would be fine. I
like to read myself to sleep and since I can’t very well do that…” she trailed
off ending with a soft, “thank you.”

He smiled, “You’re very welcome,
Hermione.”

Severus summoned her book from her
chambers. He examined the red leather-bound book and read the gold lettering on
the spine. Smiling again, he said, “I’m impressed… Faulkner?”

“What did you expect? ‘Hogwarts: A
History’?” she joked.

He laughed as he turned to the
page she had marked. His voice was smooth and velvety, hypnotizing her with
each word. She could feel the vibrations of his voice flow from her toes to her
head – but then settling quite a bit lower. His voice always had that effect on
her, even as a student.

As she started to relax, Severus
stopped and had her take the dreamless sleep potion that Poppy had left for
her. He continued reading and listened as her breathing slowed, showing that
she was close to sleep. Just as he thought she had fallen asleep he heard a
soft sound escape her lips and cocked his head to listen.

“Hmmm… I have always loved your
voice,” she murmured sleepily and immediately succumbed to slumber. Severus sat
there speechless; book in hand, staring at the sleeping woman in front of him.