Hope

A/N: Sorry for the shortness factor peoples...
A/N: Here are my thanks...
Thank you to Corazon who as always is a wonderful beta and this story wouldn\'t be all it was if she didn\'t have her imput.
Four reviews this time...better than last time but still not wonderful:P
MoD: Nice to see you review again hon, yes serious drama, i seem to have this thing for writing dramas, thanks for your nice comments...well in answer to your question, you\'ll just have to keep reading:)
Karena Elizabeth: Ah yes, another faithful reviewer:) Sorry if i made you cry. We will have happyness soon:) Promise.
Nova: Yeah holy crap is right...yes yes...i know i seriously suck...i know i do. I enjoy it:) *Evil grin* oh well...keep reading...heres your evil cliffy redemer...
TeaRoses: Thank you for your perceptions. I really appreciate it. I must tell you, it wasn\'t to much info, and the only reason i know so well what happens, is because i self harm myself, so i know how it works, and to the extent that she does...so i know how it feels:P so dont be sad...:) Thanks again.
OK well there we go then...read and review people...comon you know you wan to...

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Severus was shocked. He couldn’t believe she had just said all that, and he pulled her closer. “Hermione don’t you ever say that. You are the most deserving person I know. A child would be proud to call you its mother. You do not need to feel hopeless. It is NOT your fault Hermione, don’t you ever say that. What they did was entirely of their own accord, without your permission, and you could not do a thing to stop it. I don’t want you to die Hermione. I promise I will protect you. This man, whoever he is, he is a fool if he sees you as damaged goods. You are so special Hermione. Nobody can compare to you. You are unique. Are you going to keep the child?”

Hermione looked up at him, fear in his eyes. “I can’t raise a child by myself, I will have to get rid of it.”

Severus flinched. He had killed enough infants to know what it would do to her. “Hermione, you can’t reconsider. Think of what your sacrificing.”

Hermione simply stared into space. She thought about how much she wanted a child and how much it would kill her to get rid of it. She couldn’t do it. No matter how much she wanted to. Maybe she would ask Ginny to be a second mother for it. She had to talk to Ginny.

Severus sensed that she needed some time alone. Without her looking, he took a book labelled “Diary” from the dresser he left. “This doesn’t mean you get out of detention mind you.”

Hermione smiled, “Of course not.”

As Hermione walked the halls of Hogwarts she held her stomach. Oh Gods. This was the hardest decision of her life. Even though she had told Severus that her intentions were to abort the baby, she desperately wanted it. It would kill her that it was Harry’s but it was also a part of her.

She stoped. OH MY GODS. She mentally screamed at herself for not realising before. It could be Voldemort’s. No. That can’t happen. That would be like the spawn of Satan running around. Not that she would ever think of a child of hers as evil. She began to shake, that was the worst thing she could think of. Maybe she could ask Madam Pomfry if there was anyway to tell when the baby was conceived. She shook the thought from her head as she entered the Gryffindor common room. She set off upstairs to find Ginny.

Meanwhile, Snape had poured himself some vodka, and sat in front of the fire to read Hermione’s diary. He knew it was wrong, but it was to hard for him to ask her. He opened it at the beginning and began to read. The first entry was labelled July 9th – exactly two weeks ago, the day of the second attack on Hermione.

July 9th

A child dancing in the rain is the ultimate act of happiness. Will I ever see my child dance in the rain? The only way I could ever keep it is if I had someone else. I love him. Yes, him. Severus Snape. I don’t know if I could love anyone else anymore. He is my life, besides Ginny.

Snapes reaction was hardly enough. He was very confused. She loves me. Oh Gods. What do I do now? Then I’m the one who she thinks sees her as damaged goods.

I don’t know when I began to love him, it was probably a long time ago, but I don’t think I truly realised until the day of my second attack when he saved me for the second time. Maybe the first time he saved me I felt something for him, I don’t know.

I want this child more than anything in the world, except maybe Severus. Since I was a child myself I have always wanted the childhood I never had. I have always wanted a child. A little blond girl. I see a blond girl of no more than two holding her mother’s hand, walking in the rain with her. Laughing, being happy, something I have never really known, true happiness. Years of physical and emotional abuse insured that one. I have no choice. I cannot bring it up alone. I am a dirty slut, who doesn’t know what is good for a child. I am damaged goods, not worthy of love or children.

July 10th

I feel sick. My dreams of my child are growing; I have them every night. A little blond girl, but this time, she dissolves into nothingness. I’m holding her hand, then I’m not. I wake up in tears every morning. This is killing me.

Severus had read enough. He couldn’t bear to read about her pain. Hermione truly wanted this child. He would go to Dumbeldore, knowing him the old git would know about it all ready. So while Hermione searched for Ginny, Severus left his rooms in search of Dumbeldore.

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“Ginny, Ginny where are you? I must speak with you.” Hermione roamed the girls’ rooms desperately trying to find her. She appeared from behind the bathroom door, towel drying her hair. “Ginny I must speak with you, now.”

Ginny walked out, still not paying attention. So Hermione got her attention the only way she knew how. “Ginny, I’m pregnant.”

Ginny immediately dropped her towel from her head and ran over to Hermione and hugged her close. “Oh my Hermione whose is it.”

Hermione sighed; it was going to be a long day. “Ginny, you need to sit down.”

Hermione slowly told Ginny all the details of the last month. Ginny had not known anything up until this point. Hermione went though everything, starting with Ron and Harry raping her, Voldemort raping her, moving into the room next to Severus, falling in love with Severus, finding out she was pregnant, and finally the cut in her stomach.

Ginny was speechless. She didn’t know what to say, and truthfully Hermione didn’t mind.
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Meanwhile Severus was just about to walk though the Headmasters’ door. “Headmaster, I must speak with you.” Not surprisingly the Headmaster knew exactly what he wanted to discuss and told him to calm himself.

“Severus I know she is pregnant, I knew probably before she did. I know she is in love with you and I know you harbour some feelings for her yourself. Before you deny it, think about it. I know she is struggling with the decision to keep the child, and I know you are thinking about solving it, and let me tell you this. I agree with your reasoning. I know what you want, but be careful, she is fragile and her pain is getting deeper.”

Severus simply stood there. The old git knew everything. Who was he God? Jesus!

“Goodbye Severus, off you go.”

Severus said nothing, he walked out. What was he going to do now? He had to tell her that he -, well, he knew it was time to tell her that he was in love with her and he would help her raise the child.

--- A/N: This actually isn’t where I had planed on taking the story, but I think it will be interesting nether-the-less. ---