Shiver

I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling.  It is futile, I know.  I won’t sleep tonight, just as I did not sleep last night.

Carelessly I roll to my side and stare into the darkness.  My chambers are the former Headmaster Snape’s—and most of his possessions remain. 

Located in the dungeons, it is cold and drafty.

But that is not what keeps me awake.

She does.

I lied to her.

I did it on purpose, because I knew it would fuck with her.  I know from the reports on each student that Granger suffered a nervous breakdown after the war ended.  I know she visited several doctors and that she has developed a severe nervous disorder.

In the wizarding world that translates to weakness.  I know she has a weakness.  And if my observations are correct, then I suspect that she is also lacking in confidence.  She struggles with making eye contact.  It is easy to knock her off balance. 

I saw the same uneasy look in Longbottom’s eyes whenever I walked by. I used to narrow my eyes in disdain because why should I have to breathe the same air as something so inferior?

But times are different, and things change.

I need to be careful.  I need to be more subtle, more sly, if I am going to take my pleasure.  I am not supposed to be that person any more.

So I lied to her. 

I wanted to test the boundaries.  I wanted to see if she would lash out in indignant anger, and point out my lie.  Because it was clearly that.  A very clear and obvious lie.  If she did, I was going to feign forgetfulness. 

I am not twisted, just…curious.

And it was fascinating, watching her layers of response.

First there was that indignation.  She challenged me.

But then I gently pushed back, planting a single seed of doubt. 

It worked.

For the first time in my life, I saw Granger hesitate.  She was unsure.  I could almost read her  mind: did I make a mistake?  Did I mishear?  Was it my fault?

I tasted her defeat, and it is quite easily the most addictive thing.  The moment I experienced it I knew I needed to taste more, that once or even twice would never be enough.

I don’t want to sleep.  I want to find Granger, and play with her more.  I haven’t felt this primed in years.

I know Granger is on to me; I must be more kind.  More gentle.  I need to give as much as I take, I think.  A thin layer of protection needs to be established. 

A malicious voice in my mind whispers :strip her bare; eat up her confidence, her pride, her courage.  Leave her with nothing but doubt and fear. 

…Make her sorry.  Give her back guilt, suffering, and remorse.

However.

The prospect excites me in the most shameful of ways.

I can feel my cock stir with anticipation. 

Yes, there is something very wrong with me, I know.  These kinds of things have never brought me pleasure before, not like this.  But perhaps the time spent away from my father and in the care of my Aunt has taught me otherwise. 

That dark place inside of me is hungry, and I want to eat Hermione Granger up.