Burn me alive

Draco slumped down to the floor as the body weight from the other man removed itself and he was no longer being held up.
There was clothes ruffling and all he could do was press himself into the crease where the floor and wall met to attempt and feel a sense of togetherness. That and he enjoyed the cool wall and floor because the man had been hot and sweaty and scratched him up pretty badly and the cold was refreshing.

There was a crack and he knew the man had left. He didn't bother to gather himself off the floor.

He pressed his spine into the wall and hissed as it stung but soothed at the same time and closed his eyes to focus on his breathing. Where was he? He hadn't seen him yesterday.

As soon as the thought went through his head he felt something ghost acrossed his face and pulled back into the wall more. He had missed someone entering? How long was he off in his own thoughts?

"Where are you hurt." He heard as lips were pressed to his neck.

There he was.

Draco rolled over onto his stomach and the man traced fingers down the scratches and bruises and cuts. He felt a tongue swipe acrossed one and tensed a little, the man chuckled. The tip of a wand was tapped repetatively on his back and he began to feel relief.
His chest was pressed to Draco's back, fully clothed, as always. His soft lips rubbed against Draco's ear,

"Do you want to face me or not?" he whispered almost soothingly,

Draco felt sick. What was he supposed to do. He knew that was how this guy got off, the idea that Draco wanted it. Somehow he always managed to actually get Draco to...actually want it.
He didn't respond and was nudged to turn and face the man. Nudged. Not thrown, not jerked, almost asked. As if he had a choice somehow.
Draco put his hands up and tried to push the man away and turn back over, this earned him getting both his wrists pinned above his head in one of the mans large slender hands and the other rolling Draco over.

He charmed his hands to stay that way and pressed his fully clothed body into Draco's form,

"I don't want to hurt you Draco, I know you don't like it. You're too beautiful for it. It's disgusting. Look at me Draco."

Draco looked where he figured the mans eyes were. How could he see in this dark, he wondered.

He was pushing fingers into Draco after nibbling and biting and licking. Nothing hurt. Nothing was painful.

"You're perfect.""You're beautiful." "I love you." was hissed into his ear.

Draco's hands were released eventually and he immediately grabbed the mans back and burried his face into his shoulder. Body arching into the slim mans. His hands clawed up to his hair, it was soft and very thin. Much like Draco's. But long. Very long. It was in a ponytail and Draco's hands pawing at the mans scalp slowly pulled it out of it's holder.

How was he just letting this man hurt him so? How is it that he was enjoying it so much? Love...what was that anyway.

It took a few times before the man realized that Draco couldn't come without some kind of pain.

"I don't want to hurt you Draco." He panted in his ear.

"I'm sorry." Draco whispered back, tears stinging at his eyes. It was the first thing he had SPOKEN to anyone. Not yelled, or shrieked, or cried.





Draco opened his eyes and he was in the dark. There was some clothe over him and he felt like he was on a cushion. He pushed back up against the wall and didn't hiss at the cold because he was wearing clothes. And when he went to move foreward, a warm body stopped him. Draco pulled back violently and slammed his head into the wall as he scurried away from the other body and fell off of the bed.

He tried to stay as quiet as he could but felt the panic inside him building.

"Draco?"

Who was that... did he know that voice? There was lots of shuffling and a light snapped on. Draco pulled into himself furthe, this shirt was choking him, the collar. Was that a shirt or hands. He began to tug at the shirt in random places. He heard the knock of knees hitting wood floor and then two hands were touching his face, but his eyes were still scrunched shut as he tried to calm himself.

"Draco, what happened? Are you alright?" He reached up and ripped the hands away, flailing several times to make sure they wouldn't try to touch him again and began to pull at his shirt until it started to tear.
Panic, anxiety, so much. He was choking, this shirt was choking him, those hands were burning, tearing.
'I love you'
'You're beautiful'
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD" Draco screamed, whimpering and finally ripping the shirt off.

"Draco, stop." Someone said in a strained voice as he felt more hands touching him.

Draco just pulled his hand away and began smacking his head into the wall.
"Shut up shut up shut up." He bit his lip and dug his nails into his palms as he pressed his fists to either side of his head.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be disgusting. It's not my fault." Draco whimpered.

"You're not disgusting!! Draco, STOP!"

Arms were wrapping around him and Draco went riggid before shoving as hard as he could away.

"NO!"

He was pulled into someone's chest and a hand slipped between his and the wall so he couldn't smack them together any longer.

"STOP I DON'T WANT TO, PLEASE" Draco started to cry.

"I'm not going to make you do anything Draco, just. Hey. Come on. Look at me."

He was hyperventalating. He pressed his fists to his head tighter and his face was pressed into someone's neck and the hand started caressing his hair and down his neckand his naked back.

"God, I should get you to eat more..." Someone whispered in his ear.

The hand on his bare skin felt rough, but it didn't burn. He disliked the contact, but it wasn't sexual.

"I don't want to." Draco whispered again as he breathed in 3 times before breathing back out.

"I wont make you do anything Draco, just calm down? Breathe with me."

"I can't breathe. I can't..I can't move. Make him stop." He sobbed.

"No one is doing anything to you Draco."

Draco felt his breathing slow down a bit as he began to feel light headed. He felt like the room was spinning, even with his eyes closed.

"Loosen the grip on your hands, you're going to bleed."

"I have to. I have to. They want me to."

Harry tightened his grip around the blonde.

"Breathe with me Draco."

Draco nodded and after a minute or too forced himself, even if he felt like he was holding his breath too much, to only breathe in and out when the other man did. The tears kept burning down his cheeks but the intense fear and panic that went along with it wasn't quite there.

He rested himself against the other man.

Slowly, he cracked open his eyes. At first he had to burry his face in the tan shoulder so he could adjust.

He just so happened to notice that they were rocking back and forth. And the other man had been constantly whispering to him the entire time.

"I know you can't hear me, and I know you don't even realize who I am, and I can't handle seeing you this broken. God Draco."

He felt the arms tighten around him more as he came to realize.

'I am at Harrys house. In his room, and he's talking to me. I had a nightmare.'

"I wish I could do something." Was mumbled into his neck. He shivered as the heat from the words ran down his cold, bare spine.

And he thought the last time he heard a voice that desperate it had been his own, echoing against the stone walls of that little hell he had been in.