Correspondence

She heard no response from him for several days. Fears plagued her that she had scared him off with her last letter, but deep down she knew that was wrong. Something else was going on.

One morning, as she was walking toward the library, she saw a shadow at the closed library doors. It moved, and a white envelope was attached to the door. She ducked back into a niche, hiding from their eyes, and watching as the figure passed by. With a breeze of herbs and musk, Severus Snape passed by her niche, his cloak gliding in the air. She smiled to herself, knowing that she had been right; she was positive he had been leaving a letter for her on the door.

When Hermione was positive he was gone, she snuck out of the niche, making her way quietly down the hall. She made it to the door, and sure enough, there was a plain bit of parchment with familiar handwriting etched into the soft skin in the form of her name. She gave a glance around to make sure that no one was there before pulling it off the door and quickly unlocking the door. She made her way inside, shutting the door behind her. Sitting down in the chair, she released the breath she had unconsciously been holding.

She opened the letter, the familiar heavy parchment caressing her skin. The scent of herbs and Severus wafted to her nose, and she smiled. She finally knew. It was him, and she was elated.

6/12/09
I know you think that you discovered who your secret admirer is, and while you did, it is me, you did not discover me. I allowed for you to discover me. I wanted you to. I was a spy for most of my life, of course I knew you were there. I thought it was getting to the point where you were positive that it was me and I might as well reveal myself. Yes, Hermione, it is I, Severus Snape. I am your note giver, your pen pal, your flower provider. I don’t know why I did those things. They just seemed natural, something I needed to do. I wouldn’t say it was me attempting to atone for my previous sins. They were all necessary, even if they were sins. I do apologize for upsetting you over the years. Something I was never able to tell you when you were my student was that you have one of the most brilliant and intellectually stimulating minds I have ever seen in my life. I think that’s what drew me towards you when I found out you were coming back here again. There may be a physical difference between us, but intellectually we are equal. I know that I could sit down and discuss discoveries in the latest uses for dragon’s blood and you won’t stare at me, blankly asking, “Dragons have blood?” At the risk of sounding utterly ridiculous, I guess you could say that we are kindred spirits.

In my first letter to you I mentioned that I learned something about myself after my almost death. I realized that despite telling myself I was ready to die, I really wasn’t ready. While the life I have led up to this point may be a sad excuse for a life, it is a life nonetheless. And I am eternally grateful that I have one and that I still have the opportunity to continue it. I have been attempting to look at life with a less sarcastic and acerbic mind, but I have once again learned that that is simply my nature. I need sarcasm to survive. But I have tried to be somewhat nicer. Most have not noticed. How shocking. But I have the distinct impression that you may have noticed. And for that I am thankful. It proves how correct my instincts were in seeking you out as a friend. Yes, your last letter is correct. You have made a friend in me. Do not fear that you scared me off with that statement. I was merely spending the proceeding days writing my long-winded response.

I believe now that you know the truth we can talk as we do in our letters in real life, although we have been talking more in real life. I look forward to our first encounter.

Severus Snape

She didn't really know what to say or even do after reading that letter he had left her. He was such an enigma. Severus Snape. There were so many things she didn't know about him, and she had been writing letters with him for the past several months; that's saying something. Even in the Voldemort-free world, he was still a dark, brooding mystery. She didn't think she would ever really understand him. There were just so many layers to him. Every time she discovered one and pulled it back to learn about him, she found another.

For the rest of the day she simply sat behind her desk, staring into nothingness, pondering what this shift in their relationship meant. After all, now she knew for sure that it was him. No more guess work. No more assumptions. She could talk to him about everything they had written in their letters. It was freeing and yet terrifying. Now there was nothing standing in between them. Her question was whether he would be as open in real life as he had been in his letters. She didn't want to be friends with the brooding bat of the dungeons, she wanted the warm, sarcastic friend from their letters. She dreaded the first moment seeing him after reading the letter for this reason. She did not know if he was going to shun her or truly be her friend.

A loud clang echoed through the halls, and her head snapped up when she looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost time for dinner. She had spent the whole day sitting there staring at a shelf of books. The library was empty; all the students were at dinner already. She stood up and made her way slowly to the Great Hall. The impending interaction was hanging over her head.

She went in through the teachers’ entrance and took her seat between him and Minerva. Minerva was oddly quiet. Hermione stared at the plate of food in front of her. She picked up the fork in her hand and pushed the food around on the plate.

"I do believe you are supposed to eat that, not push it around like a tugboat." His soft voice caressed her ear, and she looked over at him, his piercing black eyes burning a hole right through her. A slow smile spread across her face and a smaller one mirrored on his face. It quickly disappeared, but she understood why: he had to keep up appearances for the students. They couldn't know the greasy git had a heart much less a sense of humor.

"I do believe you are right," she whispered back as she piled mashed potatoes and peas onto her fork and placed it into her mouth, slowly pulling the fork off, clean of any remnants of food. A weird sound filled her ears and she looked toward the source. Severus was sitting in his chair, looking out over the hall, a strained look on his face.

"Are you okay?" she asked delicately. He nodded and continued to stare forward. She gave a shrug and continued to eat her food.

"How was your day, Severus?" she asked, attempting small talk.

"It was filled with the normal dunderheaded behavior. Thankfully, no one was severely harmed. Pardon the pun."

"Pun pardoned. Yes, that would indeed make a horrible day."

"How was your day in the library? Learn anything surprising?"

"Nothing that I didn't already know or think I knew." She glanced at him slyly out of the corner of her eye. He gave a jerk of his head, and she knew he understood what she meant. They fell into a comfortable silence that was only interrupted by the soft chewing and whispers that filled the hall.

After she was finished, she left the hall and slowly made her way back to the library. The familiar stomp of booted feet filled her ears, and she turned around to see Severus walking towards her.

"So you are fine with it?"

"Yes," she said with a nod and smile. "Completely fine with it."

“Good.”