S is for Sacher-Masoch

Harry didn’t see Snape anymore, and this time it was for real. Not only had the Occlumency lessons come to an end, furthermore Snape had told Dolores Umbridge that Harry was a hopeless case who he had only agreed to keep in his class because Dumbledore insisted, and as a result, Harry no longer took potions. Ron and Hermione reported that the professor’s temper was worse than ever, and once Ron had even let Harry feel a bump on his head from a particularly heavy book Snape had hit him with. Harry thought he’d do anything to swap places with Ron, but had to feign relief that he was safe from the teacher’s abuse.
At meals, he was unable to look at Snape, literally unable. Snape was behind his back and Umbridge had strictly forbidden any squirming in the seats or chatting across tables. Mr Filch kept a close eye on the students, making sure they faced their plates and finished them in silence. All Harry ever saw of Snape was a dark figure at the teachers’ table when the students filed into the dining hall, and sometimes a billowing black cloak crossing the courtyard or vanishing through a doorway.
But there was one thing he had that Snape didn’t know of. The invisibility cloak. He had to make sure he didn’t use it when Snape traced his steps on the marauder’s map though, or Snape would know and no doubt confiscate it. Sometimes Harry dreamt of doing that, just to feel Snape’s hand rip the cloak off him, feel the teacher’s eyes upon him once more. But no, that would be the end of it. With Umbridge as the new headmistress, Snape might even get Harry expelled.
Harry didn’t doubt Snape’s true loyalties lied with Dumbledore though. The professor had proven that when he’d lied to Umbridge about being out of veritaserum to use on Harry. Harry wasn’t sure Snape protected him, but he was sure he protected Dumbledore’s secrets.
Knowing Snape was loyal to Dumbledore meant knowing he couldn’t let the marauder’s map be seen by Umbridge, or Umbridge would seize it and use it to survey staff and students. Which probably meant he didn’t use it during the day. Which meant Harry spent as much of the days as he could sneaking around the castle in his invisibility cloak. It wasn’t easy. In broad daylight, footprints and disturbed dust and cobweb could easily betray him. Furthermore, he had to do it when he wasn’t with Ron and Hermione, which meant mostly during potions class. Which had the advantage of him knowing exactly where Snape was, but the disadvantage of the isolated potions classroom high up in a tower being particularly tricky to spy upon.
One day, when he’d been able to shake off Ron and Hermione and was creeping about in the invisibility cloak as usual, he spotted not one but two black robes moving down a rarely used gallery he wasn’t sure where it lead to. One of them no doubt belonged to Snape, but the other figure? Too tall to be professor McGonagall and, ah yes, too blond. Lucius Malfoy. Supposedly here for the quidditch match his son Draco was partaking in tomorrow morning. Supposedly here on some more shady business as well, he and Umbridge both being on Voldemort’s side.
Harry hurried after them as fast as he dared to move, only to lose track of them at the end of the gallery. Which of the narrow, dark corridors had they chosen? He heard hushed, yet upset, voices and moved in their direction.
When he found them, Lucius had Snape up against the wall, threatening him. Harry’s heart pounded in case Snape was in danger. Not that he couldn’t defend himself – Harry longed to see him throw that slippery Malfoy to the ground with a strike of his wand.
He crept into an alcove where he reckoned he wouldn’t be stumbled upon and observed them. Snape had his head turned to the side, refusing to look Lucius in the eyes, but Lucius used the cane in his gloved hand to force Snape to face him. And then – then they kissed. Harry’s eyes widened in disbelief.
He had assumed the memory he had intruded upon had been an old one, from when Snape and Lucius were both in Voldemort’s army. But perhaps Snape was merely keeping up appearances in front of Lucius, who thought that they still were? That’s what Harry tried to tell himself. Yet the intensity of the memory told him that perhaps Snape just couldn’t resist. Perhaps Harry had stumbled upon the one thing over which the master of Occlumency didn’t have control. He for one knew what it was like to crave someone despite oneself. He didn’t even like Snape, Snape had always been rotten to him, cruel and unfair. But at least Snape wasn’t evil, like Lucius Malfoy.
Snape had his palms pressed flat against the wall, one pale, spidery hand on each side of his body, and his knees seemed to buckle. Harry looked on in horror as Lucius placed his black leather gloves on Snape’s shoulders and forced him to his knees. He couldn’t quite see what was going on, with Snape almost hidden between Lucius’ fur-trimmed cloak and the wall, but he could guess.
“That’s right.” said Lucius and let out a low chuckle.
Harry could glimpse that Lucius’ hand had moved from Snape’s shoulder to his hair, and he thought he could feel a tug on his own hair, the memory of Snape’s tug, which made him gasp for air. At that, Lucius turned his head abruptly so that a strand of his almost white hair described an elegant arch through the air. His icy blue eyes stared straight into Harry’s, and for a moment, Harry thought he was discovered despite the invisibility cloak. He felt as if Lucius saw him. Then Lucius suspiciously narrowed his eyes and Harry realised he’d just heard something from the alcove where Harry was hiding.
Harry didn’t think of what would happen to him if he was discovered. He thought only of Snape’s reaction, and stubbornly held his breath until he felt dizzy. Then Snape did something that made Lucius throw back his head and moan softly, and Harry carefully let out his breath.
When Lucius was done with Snape he said loftily: “Good day to you, Severus.”
With a supercilious smile and an arrogant toss of his pale, straight hair he turned around and left. Harry blinked at the painful sight of his tutor still slumped on his knees as if he needed time to collect himself. Not until Lucius had disappeared down the hallway did Snape slowly rise to his feet, carefully brush the dust of his pants, and adjust his sleeves.
He went in the opposite direction as Lucius, passing by the alcove where Harry was hiding. When he was walking right past Harry, he stopped short and made Harry draw an audible breath.
“It isn’t what it looks like, Potter.” he said evenly.
Harry’s heart jumped at the unexpected sound of his name. Snape turned his head towards him, but like a blind person, not quite focusing on him, so Harry understood he couldn’t actually see him. He just – somehow – knew he was there. Had he known the whole time? Had he consciously distracted Lucius when he was about to discover Harry?
“The memory was real. This was the greatest performance you’ll ever see.” He turned his head from Harry again, and looking straight ahead he said softly, as if speaking to himself: “Fascinating, what a little vanity can do to a potentially great wizard.”
His mouth twitched in what could almost be described as a smile, then he walked away.