Penance

Draco stretched his long legs beneath the seat in front of him. Stuck in an assigned seat this time, he was forced to endure Granger’s presence. He knew he’d served her a low blow earlier and he regretted it but he hadn’t been able to stop it. The thought of her with another man killed him. His mind was filled with images of her underneath a faceless man who was rutting as if his life depended on it. He knew what that would be like; if he had her underneath him it would be all he could not to spontaneously combust right then. Shaking his head mentally he tried to throw the image from his mind. He had to say something. They couldn’t just ignore each other for the entire ride.

“So…where are we headed?” he ventured. Hey, it was a start. Granger grabbed her ticket sitting on her lap and slapped it onto his chest with a thud where it dropped into his lap before resuming her gaze out the window,

Apparently, they could.

Sighing he opened the ticket. Kentucky. He’d been there, hell he’d been in every flippin’ state in this damnable country. If he never had to come back, it would be too soon. Damn yanks.

Draco shifted his eyes so he could look at Granger without moving his head. Her elbow rested on the lip of the window, her head resting in it. He could see the pain in her features and knew there were things in there he would probably never understand. She would never trust him enough to confide things like that.

Draco didn’t dare to ask how long they would be on this blasted thing though he itched to know. He cracked his neck, back and knuckles. Thrummed his fingers on his pants. Recited the 12 uses of dragon blood in his mind. Sang the Puddlemere United anthem in his head. Tapped his foot. Named off every famous troll war he could remember. Cited the potion ingredients in a Numbing Draught.

And they still weren’t there.

No matter how many stakeouts he’d been on he never got used to the boredom. He was not good at entertaining himself so he usually made sure he had a partner at these times. Ginny Weasley had taught him an infuriating muggle game called Tic-Tac-Toe when they had been on one particularly long stakeout for Antonin Dolohov. She had asked specifically to do this one since he had supposedly attacked Hermione and injured her badly in her fourth year at the ministry. She had told him all about this little escapade and Draco had been inclined to go on the stakeout with her.

Dolohov had never seen it coming. The two of them had unleashed their fury and they promised that night to never speak of it again.

Hermione shifted and her body brushed against his accidently, the small seat left little privacy. Draco hated how much that little brush affected him but he knew she was not unaffected either. Not able to bear it any longer, Draco excused himself to the W.C. Walking down the aisle he nearly stumbled. Draco had paid no attention to a man holding up a newspaper until he lowered it briefly to look over the top before quickly pulling it back up to cover his features.

Rodolphus Lestrange. Fuck.

Draco didn’t want to alert the notorious Death Eater that he knew of his presence but neither could he leave Granger unaware or pass him for he knew he would not make it by safely. Thinking quickly he stuck his hand in his pocket without losing stride and flicked his wand.

“Sir, you’ll have to return to your seat now,” the Imperioused stewardess said sweetly from a few rows behind him.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said and turned back, taking the spell off as he passed her. He felt her uneasiness but was grateful when she pushed her little cart back to her compartment without a word. Taking his place next to Granger he leaned into her and said in a low voice:

“We’re being followed.”

Her head snapped around to him and he stopped her from craning her neck behind them to see.

“No, don’t. He doesn’t know we know yet, we need to keep the advantage.”

“Who is it?” she asked, her voice steady. He wanted to applaud her.

“Rodolphus Lestrange.”

Her face was a mask of fury. “I’ll kill him. We’ll draw him somewhere secluded, I’ll take him out-,”

“No, what the fuck are you thinking? He’s a senior Death Eater! You’re not going to duel him!”

She glared at him. “Do you think I’ve never dueled a Death Eater before?

“Of course not, but I’m not going to have you dragging him into an alley so you can have a go at him. We’ll lose him.”

“He tortured Neville’s parents to insanity. I would love to see the end of him.”

“I understand, but we can’t take chances. We can’t let them know we know they’re onto us. Just keep your hand on your wand.”

She went to move past him.

“What are you doing?” he hissed, stopping her.

“Grabbing my wand,” she whispered, pointing to the compartment where the bag was stowed above them.

“You don’t have it on you? What is wrong with you, Granger?”

“I’m kind of out of practice, alright? Now let me grab it,” she went to move past him but he didn’t want her in the way of Lestrange’s wand.

“No, I’ll grab it. Keep below the seats.” She didn’t have a problem since the seats backs were high enough to cover her head plus a few inches. His head just skimmed the top.

Keeping his peripheral vision on Lestrange whose eyes followed him, Draco grabbed the bag and pulled it down. Granger took it from him with a thanks and dug her wand out and secreted it under her thigh since her jacket was laying at her feet, the heated train making it unnecessary to wear.

“Keep that on you at all times, you hear me?” he growled. How could she be so careless? What if Rodolphus had attacked? Draco knew exactly how ruthless the bastard could be.

“Yes, sir,” she said mockingly with a two-fingered salute.

Draco leaned over her and grabbed her shoulders, bringing his face close to hers and speaking low, menacingly. “This is not a game, Granger. You know as well as I what that fucker can do. There could be others. I will not be unprepared. In this war, you fend for yourself. I can’t have your back as well as mine. We guard each other, but it has to be both ways. If I hadn’t noticed him, he would have taken me out, I have no doubt about it. Then where would you be?”

He released her to ponder that and sat back, calming himself. What was it about her that threw all of his patience out the window? He could not keep his cool around her, it was infuriating. He wanted to shake some sense into her and shag her all at the same time. He wanted to slap her and hold her tight. He wanted to scream at her and whisper all the dirty things he’d love to do to her in a dark room.

“I’ll hold my own, Malfoy. I promise,” Granger said in a low voice. He nodded his acknowledgement. He knew she could fight like the very devil, he’d seen her.

“I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather have at my back,” he told her truthfully. Then mentally slapped himself on the head.

She looked at him for a long moment and he caught her chocolate eyes. A small understanding seemed to pass between them and she gave him a small smile.

They were quiet the rest of the ride and when the train began to slow Draco brought his lips to her ear.

“I want you to keep in front of me at all times. Put on your jacket and keep your hand on your wand. If he makes a move I want to be prepared. Move fast and sure, don’t look back. We need to lose him so take a confusing course. Get into crowds if you can. Whatever you do, do not look back, do not stop. If I go down, keep moving.”

“Malfoy-,”

“No, there is no arguing. This is the way it is. I want your word that you’ll keep moving, that you won’t stop if I go down.”

“No.”

“Damn it, Granger! Do not fight with me! For once in your life just listen to me. This is too important. If I am taken out go to the Ministry, we still have control there. Find someone, anyone you know; Percy, Kingsley, Arthur. They’ll take care of you. Until you find them keep your identity hidden, we don’t want to cause a panic seeing as you have a grave in the War Memorial. Do you understand me?”

She nodded. “Malfoy, I’m not going to leave you. I’ll fight right alongside you. I’m not some damsel who needs saving, I’m a fully trained witch and I can hold my own.”

He locked eyes with her again. “Yes, you are a witch. And a damn good one. But I promised myself I would get you home, so make sure I’m not making a liar of myself.” He couldn’t believe she’d admitted that she was a witch. She’d finally accepted it. What had changed?

“I won’t let you be a liar, at least not this time around,” she grinned and he couldn’t help but smile back. The train pulled to a stop and Draco tugged on his cloak while Granger pulled on her own jacket, sneaking her wand into her pocket. People stood and filled the aisles, waiting for the doors to open, grabbing their baggage. Draco stood but held a hand out to keep Granger in her seat. When their turn to get out came he grabbed her arm and tugged her in front of him, covering her body with his while making it look as if he was simply holding her shoulders lovingly, protectively. When they got to the stairs, Draco looked out the corner of his eyes and caught sight of Rodolphus, who was still stuck halfway along the train, pushing people out of his way.

“Go,” he told Granger as soon as they hit the pavement. She led him through the train station, keeping in packs of people. She did as he had instructed and kept her eyes ahead, but Draco made sure he knew where Rodolphus was at all times. They were nearing the doors to the street outside when he burst through the doors into the station, eyes searching for them. Draco kept his face forward so Rodolphus wouldn’t know he was on guard. He therefore could not tell if he had seen them or not as they hurried into the street and Ganger directed them in a zig-zag course through the city, dodging into alleys and losing them in crowds. When they had gone at least a couple miles he pulled her into a dark alley where they could catch their breath.

“Is he still following us?” Granger gasped, her hand clutching her side where he figured she was cramping. Draco took deep breaths to slow his heart rate.

“We lost him about a mile ago, back at Holdings Street.”

She nodded and leaned back against the brick wall of what he had seen was an old book store. She looked pale under the bright pink flush that had crept onto her cheeks from the cold and their exertion. Her eyes closed and she rubbed her right knee unconsciously. Shit, he’d forgotten about her injuries.

“Are you alright?” he asked. He felt like such an arse.

“I’m fine,” she breathed. “Just not used to running around town dodging Death Eaters. It’s been a few years.”

He laughed. “We’ll get you something to eat and go find a place to sleep for the night.”

Her eyes opened and she looked guilty. “What?” he asked.

“Well, I didn’t want to tell you, but we’re sort of…well...”

“What?”

“We’re out of money. Those tickets took almost all I had left. We only have enough for a little bit for food but that’s it. I haven’t saved much because it was all going to school,” she said sheepishly.

Draco shrugged. “That’s alright, no problem. We’ll just have to figure something out.”

She looked confused. “That’s it? Really? You’re not mad?”

“Mad? Why would I be mad?”

“Well, I know you’re sort of used to having money…I thought you might be angry that I couldn’t afford a place for us to sleep.”

Draco had to talk himself out of screaming at her. “That was a long time ago, Granger. I lost the use of daddy’s coffers when I joined your side. No one has money anymore. I’ve spent my good amount of time sleeping on the ground. We’ll try to find something a little more accommodating tonight. Let’s go find some cheap food and I’ll see what I can pull together.”

She looked relieved and he wondered what kind of monster she thought he was. He reminded himself that other than at the Battle of Hogwarts she knew nothing of him except what he’d been at school. He couldn’t blame her; even he was sickened by his behavior. He led the way out of the alley and they walked to a close store that Hermione dragged them into called Houchins. The store was large, food loomed from every shelf, calling to his growling stomach. She chuckled at the noise it made and he grinned. She purchased them some food and they sat at a little table at the front of the store and munched while Draco thought of a place to stay for the night. It was far too cold for Granger to sleep outside without a warming spell on her coat. She was shivering now, in the store. By the time they left the store night had fallen and street lights were the only source of light. He dragged her through streets and went back to that tiny book shop, looking into the upper-story window. It was dark but he saw curtains. It was a room. He motioned for Granger to stay where she was, hugging herself against the snow that had stated to fall in earnest. He tried the doorknob. It was locked, but it wouldn’t take much to get it unlocked. He took the pick George Weasley had given him when he’d taught him how to open a locked door without magic. Draco lowered his ear to the knob and worked the pin into the keyhole, listening for a click.

“What are you doing?” Granger hissed right behind him.

“I thought I told you to stay where you were,” he said.

“Are you breaking in?” she asked incredulously.

“Well, gee, Granger, I don’t know, what does it look like?”

“Malfoy, you can’t just break in somewhere!”

Click! Success. He swung open the door and beckoned her forward. “Looks like I just did.”

“No, Malfoy, we are not going to be squatters! This is illegal, I refuse to-,”

Draco grabbed her around the waist and hefted her shrieking form over his shoulder, carrying her into the dusty old shop. It looked as it had been years out of business and abandoned. He shut the door behind him and dropped her unceremoniously onto the floor, covering her mouth with his hand.

“Quiet! Do you want to alert anyone who might be in here? Just sit still and let me make sure this place is empty.”

“Malfoy, I’m not doing this! This is someone’s store, there might be security cameras!”

“What the bloody hell is a security cam-rah?”

“It’s what people use to make sure no one is breaking and entering, like you just did!”

Worried a little, he looked around. “Can you get rid of them?”

“This is ridiculous! Let’s just leave, before the police get here-,”

“Look, either get rid of these security things or deal with the fact that someone might come. It’s too damn cold to sleep outside. Now I’m going upstairs, you can either follow me or keep your fat mouth shut and stay here.”

Moving silently, Draco made his way up the stairs. The place had an air of desertion but he wasn’t going to leave anything to chance. There was a small hallway with three doors. Wand out, he opened the first one, a storage closet. The next one was a small, empty bedroom with a narrow one-man bed in the far corner, a dresser and a desk under the window. Dust settled on all surfaces and he was about to search the room when something tackled him from behind. The person had their arms around his neck, choking him. Small but very powerful arms cut off his air supply. He grasped them and flipped the person over his back to the floor. It was Granger.

“What the fuck?” he yelled. She was on her feet, attacking him again and he had to fight her off. She was a lot stronger than he would have taken her for but he still outweighed her by at least 80 pounds. He was finally able to clasp her wrists and shove her against the wall.

“Get off me!” she yelled, using her hips to push him off but he held strong.

“Not until you tell me what the hell this is all about! I could have killed you!”

“I’m sick of you demeaning me! How many years did I spend fighting off Death Eaters while you sat on cushions and had your arse wiped for you? Bet you never knew that at the age of eleven Harry, Ron and I worked out how to get past all the teachers’ defenses to get to the Philosopher’s Stone! Or that at twelve I figured out what was petrifying the students from the Chamber of Secrets! I’m not helpless! I can fight with the best of them and I’m so fucking sick of you treating me like a doll!”

Flushed and angry, she was the hottest thing he’d ever seen. Shoving her wrists over her head he took her mouth, kissing her savagely. He figured she would fight him off but she didn’t and his knees nearly gave out when she kissed him back. He pressed into her roughly, his fingers digging into the soft skin of her wrists, his tongue battling with hers. She lifted a leg and hooked it onto his hip and he groaned, grinding himself against her core. She moaned and he kept one hand pinning her hands above her head, the other shoved its way up her shirt, cupping one luscious breast. His eyes rolled as her hips undulated against his and he ripped at the button holding her jeans closed. He tugged the material down, grinning at the pink thong beneath them before shoving his hand under the material to find her wet and hot and wanting. She moaned louder as he slid his finger along her slit, opening her folds, making her press her mound into his palm. He found her nubbin and worked it slowly, making her jerk while his lips travelled her jaw to her ear. He bit down and she sucked in a breath. She tried to pull her hands away but he held fast. He wanted this to bad, he wasn’t going to be undone by her explorations. He slipped a digit inside her and she was so tight and warm he growled. He needed to be inside her.

“Malfoy, please…”

That was all he needed. Shoving her panties down he tugged his own jeans to his ankles and ripped off his cloak, switching hands to get the damn thing off while she worked one foot out of shoe and jean leg. He lifted her so she could wrap her legs around her, her jeans dangling from one of them, and with his free hand he angled her hips and his straining cock met her entrance.

“Is this what you want?” he asked, his thumb back on her clit. He wouldn’t do anything unless she was sure and he hoped to all that was out there that she was very, very sure.

“Please,” she moaned. It was enough. He thrust roughly into her and felt a break. She cried out and he stilled, the blood draining from his face.

“Bloody Merlin! I thought you said you weren’t a virgin!” Draco couldn’t move, he couldn’t think. He could see the tears forming in her wide, shocked eyes, her teeth biting into her bottom lip. She was in pain, a good deal of it. He’d thrust into her so hard…

“I’m…I’m not,” she whispered. A tear escaped and travelled down her cheek. The expression on her face was one of utter horror.

“Granger, I felt it, you felt it…why did you lie to me?” he was mad, but more at himself than at her. He was mad that he’d made it so painful for her first time when it should have been gentle and sweet.

“I-I…I didn’t…I’m not-,”

Draco let go of her hands and they fell to his shoulders. He dropped his lips to her neck, soothing. He didn’t know what was going on but he could make it better, he could make the pain go away.

“Do you trust me?” he whispered into her ear. He felt her hesitate but she nodded. He carried her to the small, creaky bed and laid her down, still connected. He propped himself up on his elbows.

“Put your legs around me,” he told her. He could feel her innocent hesitations, knew this was her first experience but he also knew she wasn’t lying to him, the look on her face told all. He kissed her deeply, trying to bring the spark back as she did as he told. He snaked his right hand down to cup her bottom and hold her still as he slid slowly out and back in, his eyes on her face to judge her reactions. It was still painful, but she started to relax.

“That’s my girl,” he said. He let his lips roam to her pulse point and sucked there, making her gasp. He pulled out and in, painstakingly slow, until her tense body turned to putty beneath him. Her breath came in hitched gasps and he rested his forehead on hers, quickening the pace. She moaned and he smiled. He found her clit and worked it, making her whimper.

“Draco…” she whispered. His heart melted at her use of his first name. He caught her lips in his and rocked against her, making her hips come off the bed, begging for more. Her hands clutched his shoulder and he had to work on not coming right then. He had to make this better for her and he only knew of one way. He leaned back on his heels and started off slow again to make sure it wouldn’t hurt her. She planted her heels on the bed and rose to meet him. He caught her hips and held her fast, pumping into her. She was so tight he thought he was going to die. Her fists clenched the sheets and he worked her, higher and higher until her face screwed up and her body tensed.

“That’s it,” he breathed. “Come on, love, come for me.”

She shattered, her tight cunt clenching around him, milking him. She cried out and he groaned as the feeling of her wet body consumed him and he fell with her, his body jerking with his orgasm. He collapsed atop her and fought for breath. That had been way too good.

He held her gently knowing she was going to be very sore. He hated that he had let himself lose so much control and had caused her so much pain; he had never taken a woman so roughly at first, no matter what. She made him come undone, he’d lost his sanity. She had it locked away within her and he doubted very much whether he’d ever reclaim it.

As they lowered from their highs he could feel her stiffen beneath him. Disengaging himself, he rolled off of her and watched as she let her hand wander between her thighs, saw the blood that coated her fingers when she pulled them away.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

She shook her head. “You couldn’t have known. It’s not your fault.”

Draco grabbed his jeans and found his handkerchief, handed it to her. She took it and he looked away to give her privacy. He pulled on his pants and got up to grab his cloak where it had landed on the floor where they had started. When he came back she was buttoning up her jeans. He sat on the bed facing her. He wasn’t going to let her weasel out of this, not this time.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?” he asked softly.

“I told you, I’m not. I wasn’t lying. I know what this might look like but I was telling the truth, I swear. Trust me, I wouldn’t forget,” she laughed bitterly.

“Hermione, what’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?” he demanded.

“It doesn’t matter…”

“It does to me. You gave up your privacy when you decided to have sex with me. I think I deserve an explanation.”

Tears gathered again and she refused to meet his eyes. “I can’t,” she whispered. He scooted closer to her, taking her hand in his.

“You can. You can trust me in this. Please, just tell me what this is about.”

She finally looked up at him, tears spilling down her face. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He was confused. Hurt him? He was the one who had hurt her… “Look, Hermione, whatever it is I’m sure-,”

“I was attacked. That scene you guys found in Grimmauld Place? I didn’t make that up,” she said so quietly he had to strain to hear her. Remembering the blood, the fingernails, the hair, he burned with fury.


“Who?” he knew by “attacked” she meant raped. She’d been raped.

She shook her head. “I can’t, I-I,”

“Tell me,” he pled. She looked into his eyes, her own glittering with shame.

“Lucius. It was Lucius. Your father.”

Lucius. It was Lucius. Your father. Those six words played over and over in his head until he saw red.

“He’s no father of mine.”

Draco couldn’t think of anything other than the scene he had witnessed and the horrible thought of his father plunging over and over into Hermione, his Hermione. He could see her trying to get away, her nails clinging to the bed, her terrified face battered and bruised and all the blood…

“I’m sorry,” she said shakily. “Please don’t be angry.”

He looked at her incredulously. “Angry? I’m beyond angry, I’m furious, but not at you. How can I be mad at you for something that was out of your control?” He wanted to hold her, to steal away the pain buried deep inside her eyes. Now, he knew. He knew why she looked so lost, so sad. And now he wished he didn’t.

“I didn’t protect myself, I couldn’t. You were right,” she said with a sniff, her hands tangling in her lap. “I can’t take care of myself. There was nothing I could do, he was just there…he moved so fast, he was so strong, I couldn’t…”

“Hermione, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want. I understand.”

She nodded. “Will you do something for me?”

“Anything,” he said quickly. Gods, if he could rip out the stars and give them to her and make her smile again he would.

“Will you hold me? Just for a minute?”

His heart breaking, he crawled up to her and gathered her into his arms. He wondered how long it had been since someone had held her this way. He could feel her trying to hold on to her tears.

“Let it out,” he told her, his lips in her hair. She did. She cried and cried until he thought her heart had surely fallen out with the tears. What was he supposed to do?

Kill him his mind rang over and over. Rocking the woman who had held him in knots since he was boy, he vowed that his father would pay the ultimate price. There was no where Lucius could hide now, no where he could run. Draco would hunt him down. He would find him.

And he would kill him.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

A/N: Whew! Two chapter in one day! Hope you’re happy :)

You will find out why she was still a “virgin” soon. I know Draco seems a little ooc, but hell if you had found out your father had raped someone you had feelings for I don’t think you could be any other way.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

XOXO

RynStar15