A Looping of the Scales ~ COMPLETED

Chapter 6 ~ The Next Morning

Hermione kept looking around the Great Hall as they ate their breakfasts, hoping to see Snape, but he didn’t appear.

”I wonder where he is?” she said to no one in particular.

A sullen Ron sat across from her, saying nothing and picking at his food, a sure sign he was upset.

Minerva was having an animated discussion with professor Flitwick on the dais as they ate, the other staff members listening in as they discussed what to do about the Potions master.

”He can’t be expected to continue to teach, Filius,” Minerva said. “And the final NEWTS are coming up. The students have to be prepared.”

”Perhaps he has completed his lesson plan for the year, and we can utilize that. The staff can teach the seventh year classes. They are mostly review at this point. Slughorn can cover the classes that actually require brewing,” Filius suggested. “But, what do we do with Severus himself? He’s already graduated, technically.”
“Yes, but Filius, we can’t be sure if his previous marks will be recognized. This is quite a situation we have on our hands. We’re going to have to consult the Board of Governors and see what their decision is,” Minerva answered.

Filius nodded.

”I also think I need to examine him further. I need to see if there are any deep-seated memories that aren’t surfacing,” Filius told her. “Perhaps if there are, I can bring them to the surface and at least part of him will be restored.”

Minerva looked thoughtful.

”Do we want to do that, Filius? Burden a young wizard with memories as devastating as his? He has been through so much, so many horrible situations and tortures. This could be a new start for him, Filius. He could have a happier life without those memories.”

”Minerva, I understand your point, but a part of him is missing, a part integral to his make-up, his character. It is his experiences that made him the man he was,” the Charms professor said softly.

”But, he’s no longer a man, Filius. He’s a boy. A boy shouldn’t be burdened with all that,” the Headmistress responded.

Flitwick sighed.

”Minerva, we don’t know if he retains any of those memories. Quite possibly, he doesn’t. If he does, we can give him the choice of bringing them to the fore or leaving them buried. It can be his decision,” Flitwick said.

Minerva nodded.

”After breakfast, go to his quarters, Filius,” she told the wizard, who nodded.

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After breakfast, Hermione, Harry, Ginny and a sullen Ron walked around the lake and Hermione recounted what she did with Snape.

”I figured he would run first, so I waited outside the gates for him just in case. He was so upset, he didn’t see me, and he looked so lost. So I asked him if he wanted to go someplace and he said yes—“

Hermione hesitated, looking at Harry.

”He said he wanted to go to 4 Privet Drive, Lily’s house,” she said softly.

Harry looked shocked.

”But that’s Aunt Petunia’s house! And Uncle Vernon. I thought they bought it!”

Hermione shook her head.

”No, it was your grandparent’s house, Harry. Your aunt and mother grew up there. Snape wanted to talk to your mother’s parents. He thought they were still alive and could tell him where Lily was.”

Ron lost his sullenness, interested now.

”So, what happened, Hermione?” he asked her.

“Well, he talked to your aunt, Harry—and she told him your mother was at Godric’s Hollow and had been there for years. But—she didn’t tell him she was dead, Harry. He thought she was alive, that she lived there and begged me to take him—“

”And you didn’t tell him?”

”I—I couldn’t Harry. You should have seen him. I took him to the square and showed him the memorial, but he wouldn’t acknowledge it, he wanted to be taken to your mother—“

Harry’s eyes gleamed brightly and Ron shook his head sympathetically. Ginny just stared at Hermione, slightly horrified at what she had to show Snape.

”So I took him to the gravesite. He went crazy,” she said softly. “And that’s where we were for several hours. I just stayed with him while he ranted and mourned. We didn’t even speak. He couldn’t. He was beside himself. Then he asked to go to Spinner’s End, to see his mother. She’s gone, too.”

“Did you take him?” Harry asked.

Hermione nodded.

”He was going to stay there, but that wouldn’t have been good. I talked him into coming back to Hogwarts for his wand. He said he was going to go back but I spoke to Hagrid this morning and he said no one left the grounds last night. The gates record whoever enters and exits. Even Snape climbing over the fence was recorded, and I’m sure he stayed in his quarters last night.”

Ron looked down at the ground and kicked a small stone, then looked over at Hermione.

”I’m sorry, Hermione. I just didn’t realize how bad off Snape was. You know how thick I can be,” he said softly.

Hermione gave him a small smile.

”I know Ron, and you were worried about me. It’s okay, but try to show a little more restraint before you fly off the broomstick,” she chided him.

”I’m working on it,” Ron said, giving her a little smile in return.

There, they’d made up. They’d seal it with a kiss or two later. Hermione didn’t do public kisses or hand-holding or anything like that. She believed public displays of affection to be a sign of burgeoning sexual exhibitionism.

”In other words, you’re a prude,” Ron told her when she laid down the laws.

”I am not!” she snapped back at him, reddening. “I just prefer not being seen snogged against some corridor wall like I’m some kind of trollop.”

”Did you actually say ‘trollop?’”

”Yes, I did, Ronald Weasley! Trollop!”

”All right. All right,” he said softly, placating her.

Hermione held all the cards in this relationship and she was very slow about throwing them into the pile.

“So, what do you think Snape is doing right now?” Harry asked Hermione, who shrugged.

”I don’t know,” she said.

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Snape sat very still as Flitwick invaded his mind. It was very uncomfortable and he was hard put not to slam down his Occlumency walls on the little wizard. He hated anyone trying to get into his head. He and Lily had practiced Legilimency and Occlumency very early and were good at it by their fourth year. Snape was particularly good at Occlumency because he didn’t want Lily to see his desire for her. It was very physical and he was sure she would have been put off.

After about forty-five minutes, Flitwick exited Snape’s mind and climbed off the arm of the sofa, shaking his head.

”There’s nothing, Severus. Not a speck of your adult life in your head,” the wizard told him.

Snape already knew this.

”The Headmistress wants to see you immediately. She wants to discuss some personal matters with you, and try to sort out the next best step,” Flitwick informed him.

Snape didn’t say anything but just stared at Flitwick until he felt uncomfortable.

”I’m just going to go. If you need anything, let me know,” the diminutive wizard said, walking across the study and using his wand to open the wall.

Snape watched him go silently. He’d taken his breakfast in his rooms, then browsed through his books. He had nearly been snatched by a demon when he opened one book of Dark Magic, but he ducked when it grabbed at him, its talons whooshing over his head, then it was sucked back into the book. Apparently, there was only one swipe per opening. Snape gingerly put it back on the shelf.

He wondered if he had actually read all these books. One thing was for sure, he had a hobby now.

The wizard sighed. He couldn’t hunker down in the dungeons forever. He needed to talk to the headmistress. He didn’t know what she’d say, but it was obvious he couldn’t be a teacher any longer. He exited his rooms and made his way up the dungeon corridor.

He passed a number of Slytherin as he walked, all of them looking after him but not greeting him. They just didn’t know what to say. He was too young to comfortably call professor, and they didn’t want to be too familiar in case he turned back into his snarky self. So they played it safe and said nothing.

Snape entered the entrance hall and was just about to walk up the stairs when a voice called out, “Professor! Wait!”

He hesitated, then continued up the stairs. The voice drew closer.

”Professor,” it said insistently.

Snape turned to see Harry looking up at him.

”I wanted to know if you’d like to talk?” Harry asked him.

Snape blinked down at him. Gods, he looked so much like James that his reaction was the same as if he was his father.

”No, Potter. I don’t want to talk to you. Do me a favor and stay away from me.”

”But—but I just want—“

”James Potter always wanted something and didn’t particularly care how he got it. Just leave me alone. We won’t be friends, believe me,” Snape said quietly.

His black eyes flicked over to Hermione, who was standing alongside Harry, then they moved to Ron, who was frowning at him because of what he said to Harry. He looked at Ginny for a split second.

“I may not have all my memories of my adulthood, but I still know Gryffindors and how they operate, no matter the generation. I am not going to be your ‘project.’ I don’t need your help or your pity. I’ll get along without you, Potter, I’m sure.”

Snape then walked up the stairs and down the first floor corridor, taking the narrow stairwell to the second floor and the shifting staircases.

”Eighteen or eighty, he’s still a prat,” Ron said under his breath. “All you were doing was trying to be friendly, Harry.”

”Harry looks just like his father, Ron. It has to be hard for him to separate the two, he was targeted so much,” Hermione said, watching Snape ride the stairs upward. Passing students stared at him as he made his way up to the floor where McGonagall’s office was located. No one spoke to him.

”It’s like the sins of the father have been passed down to the son,” Hermione added. “I feel so sorry for him. He’s so—alone.”

”He wants to be alone, Hermione. Harry just held out the olive branch and he stripped all the leaves off it,” Ron replied. “You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. I say we just leave him to it. Come on, Harry. Let’s go flying before Hermione ties us to our books. We’ve only got a free two hours before she starts cracking the whip.”

Harry watched as Snape got off the stairs and disappeared down the corridor, then sighed.

He had hoped to get to know the wizard better, even become his friend. This was a great opportunity to let the past go. But it seemed some things just didn’t get better with time, or the lack of it. He and Ginny followed Ron. Hermione remained at the base of the stairs, looking thoughtful.

”Are you coming, Hermione?” Ron called back at her.

”Ah, no. I’m going to go to the library. I need to collect some things,” she said.

Ron let out a sigh. She was probably going to get a pile of books to numb their brains even more.

”All right. We’ll meet you down by the lake in two hours,” he said, heading out the door, followed by Harry and Ginny. Ginny had discretely entwined her fingers in Harry’s fingers, silently offering him comfort and they exited the castle hand in hand.

Hermione went to the library and began looking for every piece of history on Severus Snape she could find.

Snape might not want help, but he needed it.

She’d wait for him by his office.

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A/N: Thanks for reading.