Chosen

A/N: Omg, I am soooo sorry that it took me this long to update. I had a severe case of writer's block, and I didn't know how to get past it. This is the third version of this chapter, so I hope it flows ok. I was going to talk about the mark Remus gave Sirius, but decided to do that in chapter 7. I haven't forgotten about it, I promise! I will try to update more frequently from now on. Please read and comment! Thanks! Also, thanks to everyone who took the time to comment. Thank you!

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"You look dreadful, dear."

"Piss off, you crazy old bint."

"Why, I never!"

"I'll bet."

Sirius turned away from the mirror, refusing to look himself in the eyes. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and then placed his palms on the counter, slouching. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw that night, felt those hands, heard those sighs, tasted those kisses. The memories made him burn, made him need, and he didn't know how to react.

The way he held himself in public had changed; where before he had came across as an arrogant, pompous berk, he was now a quiet, unassuming young man who seemed invisible. He had wandered into more walls than he could count in a blind daze, and jumped whenever someone came within two meters of him. He avoided everyone, even James, and spent an alarming amount of time hidden in the library with the Map.

Remus watched him during meals, during class, while the boys prepared themselves for bed, and while he never said anything, Sirius could tell that his actions hurt his friend/lover. The werewolves' amber eyes were always guarded, but if one looked close enough, they could see the sadness and resignation in those shuttered depths. Sirius didn't want to hurt Remus, but the feelings zooming around inside of him had no outlet, no rhyme or reason, and he couldn't come to terms with the fact that he, Sirius Orion Black, might be in love with one Remus John Lupin.

Sirius heaved a heavy sigh and slowly opened his eyes, grimacing at his reflection. His normally shiny, curly hair was lank and dull, lacking the usual finesse that Sirius was known for. His storm-grey eyes had large dark shadows beneath them, and looked horribly bruised and sunken. His cheekbones stood out in stark relief, giving his normally patrician features a gaunt, starved look. Sirius rose a hand to his cheek and absently noticed that his fingers shook.

It had been exactly five days, 13 hours, 36 minutes and 15 seconds since his liaison with Remus in the Room of Requirement. Those 7 hours in his friends' arms had been the best of his life. His cock hardened as he remembered the way Remus' hands had felt on his skin, the way he had begged to come and the way they had fallen asleep wrapped in each other afterwards. What had happened afterwards was what made him scared; the perfection of Remus' body pressed against his own, how bloody complete Sirius had felt when Remus had promised to be there later.

Sirius had had sex with random people before, and while the fact that Remus was male was a little unsettling, he didn't feel ashamed about the mutual fulfillment they had shared. Sirius was more shocked by his emotional reaction to coming and then laying in the arms of his friend. Looking back, Sirius could easily admit that he had always treated Remus differently than the other Marauders, and that after achieving the Animagus transformation, Padfoot unconsciously responded to Remus as his master, and Sirius did as well. It was with quiet acceptance that he allowed himself to think that he might finally be in love.

Sirius accepted that he was unstable mentally, and that, because of his family and his upbringing, he contained the mental emotional equivalence of a rock. He is fickle, abrasive and rash, quick to act and even quicker to judge. On the upside he is fiercely loyal and loves with an intensity that sometimes seemed manic. Now, that love had extended to something real and tangible that he was afraid to admit, and was directed towards Remus. Sirius could admit that he loved James, but that love was brotherly; the same could be said for Peter, and while the love he felt wasn't as concrete as what he felt for James, it was there, and it was real.

What he felt for Remus went beyond brotherly, and into the kind of love that scared the shite out of him. He had never, ever felt this way before, and had no basis of comparison for it. His family shared no loving emotions amongst themselves, and the closest he could come to being around true love was the love he had witnessed between his uncle Alphard and his wife Jeanine. Uncle Alphard had died when Sirius was 13, and his Aunt had died barely six months later from grief. That love had been pure, and eternal, and made Sirius envious that his parents hadn't had the same.

At the time, Sirius hadn't been interested in knowing about the relationship shared between his favorite uncle and aunt, seeing as he had still been young and had wanted nothing to do with icky girls. Now, he wished that he had sat down with Alphard and talked about true love, and what he was supposed to do when a love like that suddenly looked him in the face.

He could always ask Prongs of course, but he didn't want to tell his best friend that he was now obsessed and possibly head-over-heals for Remus.

"Fuck." he breathed, bringing both hands to his face and pressing the heels of his palms roughly into his eyes.

He didn't know what to do, how to react, what to fucking say to his friends, to Remus, to himself. Admitting his feelings was the first step, but that step was one he wasn't quite willing to make.

"Sirius?"

He jumped, dropping his hands and knocking his hip against the counter, gaining an egg-sized bruise in the process. He cleared his throat and started towards the bathroom door.

"Padfoot?"

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.

Remus was on the other side of the door; quiet, amber-eyed, sexy Remus. The man Sirius lo-.

No, don't think about it. Just fucking don't.

"Y-yes?" he rasped, and winced when he heard the nails-on-chalkboard quality of his voice.

"Are you... alright? You've been in there for a while now."

Sirius thrust back his shoulders and drew in a deep breath, and then walked to the door and opened it, staring at a point past Remus' left shoulder.

"I'm ok, Moony. Thanks."

He started to walk around the other boy but was stopped by a warm hand on his arm. He jerked to a halt and his eyes fell to the fingers clenched in his shirt, swallowing thickly as he realized that Remus was touching him.

"Padfoot? Look at me, please." Remus begged, voice low and sad.

Sirius did as he was asked without thinking, and flinched when he saw the fear and overwhelming sadness in Remus' eyes.

"Are we ok?" Remus asked, and Sirius knew that he was talking about what had happened five days, 14 hours, 8 minutes and 47 seconds ago.

Sirius blinked rapidly and tried to speak, but his mouth refused to listen to what his brain told it to do. After what could have been hours of silence but was only a couple of minutes, Remus sighed and dropped his hand. Remus began to turn away, and Sirius realized that this was it; this was the moment, and if he didn't say something everything would be lost, and he would never be the same.

"Wait!" he shouted, reaching out and grabbing Remus' elbow tightly.

Remus stopped; he stopped walking, stopped breathing, and angled his head in Sirius' direction, his face an impassive mask. Now that he had Remus' undivided attention, he didn't know what to say. Before he could censor his words, his mouth finally got with the program and he was talking.

"I-I... I think that I might lo-" gulp "that I might love you." The last 2 words were spoken at a very low whisper, his hand a vice-grip around Remus' elbow.

Remus' eyes widened to comical proportions, and two spots of color appeared high on his cheeks. His expressive mouth opened and closed like a fish, and if the situation hadn't been the most important time of his life, he would have burst out in hysterical laughter.

"You... you what?" Remus breathed, shock apparent in his voice.

Sirius closed his eyes and tightened his grip on the other boy, surely cutting off the circulation to his wrist and fingers.

"IthinkthatImightmaybeloveyouasmorethanafriend." He said in a rush of word-vomit that made him blush and cringe to admit out lout.

Remus coughed and broke the tenuous eye contact they shared, gazing with feigned interest at the carpet below their bare feet.

"I..." a long, long pause that had Sirius hyperventilating and then "...me too." Remus whispered, the blush spreading from his cheeks to his throat, disappearing into his burgundy jumper.

Sirius felt his skin heat and realized that he was blushing as well, his skin most likely an unsightly blotchy color.

"Oh." he said dumbly.

The silence that stretched between them said what they couldn't. The silence said "I understand. I love you. I want to be with you forever. Love me."

They were interrupted by Peter slamming the dormitory door open, the doorknob crashing into the stone wall creating a very loud, obnoxious noise. Sirius let go of Remus' elbow and gave the other boy a tentative smile that was at once confidant and nervous. Remus quirked an elegant eyebrow in response and nodded his head, saying quite plainly "this isn't over; we'll talk later."

"Ta Moony, Padfoot. What's going on?"

Peter's blue eyes shifted from Remus to Sirius and back, and after making the motion a few times his chubby face lit up in a happy grin.

"You guys all settled now?"

Sirius looked at Peter in shock, and nodded at the same time as Remus. He had never realized just how perceptive Peter was. It made him ridiculously proud of his friend, and he was glad that Peter could now think for himself and notice something other than James.

"Brilliant! The tension was killing me!" Peter laughed and then flopped onto his bed, grinning like the crazy rat he was.

James chose that moment to walk into the room. The messy-haired boy looked at Remus, Sirius, and Peter, gave a huge grin, and clapped Sirius heartily on the shoulder.

"'M glad to see that things are settled between you two blokes. I was getting worried. Are you gents up to a game of Exploding Snap?"

Remus shrugged a shoulder, and Sirius was distracted by the subtle shift of muscle under cloth. His body responded as he remembered how that body felt pressed against him, and had to shake his head to come back to the present. He nodded at James and then chanced a glance at Remus. What he saw made him freeze, his breath clogging in his throat.

Remus' eyes had darkened to a deep bronze, his supple mouth slightly open to get oxygen to his lungs. The werewolf had obviously known what Sirius had been thinking, and was now reliving the same moment in his mind, and was reacting similarly to the Animagus. Sirius wondered if his face betrayed his thoughts, and hoped not. The last thing he wanted was for James and Peter discovering the new relationship their other friends now shared.

He made eye contact with Remus and tried to convey his desire, his need. Remus blushed, and Sirius felt as if his awkward attempt at Legimency had been a success. He turned away from Remus with a saucy wink and followed James and Peter to the common room for a mindless evening of smoky cards.

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