It Was Only A Kiss!

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Chapter Six

That afternoon, Remus watched in amusement as James moved across the room in bounds - very reminiscent of his alter ego - and presented a block of chocolate to Remus with a ridiculously over-dramatic flourish.

‘Yours, Mister Moony. Since I see you did not eat your lunch, you must gorge yourself with Honeyduke’s Finest Milk Chocolate until I am satisfied you aren’t going to be coming over all girly and fainting from hunger. Eyebrows will be raised if I am caught with a limp werewolf in my arms.’

Remus burst out laughing. ‘Limp? Is that some kind of slur on my manhood?’

‘What? Did I just hear something about you slurping on Moony’s manhood, Prongs?’

Remus looked over in the direction the voice came from and flushed when he saw Sirius grinning in the doorway, Peter giggling behind him. James threw himself on top of Remus, who let out a squeak of surprise.

‘That’s right. Moony and I have been shagging in secret for years. I was about to start slurping on his manhood before you two interrupted.’

Peter snorted loudly, sliding past a lounging Sirius who pushed himself off the door frame to follow the blonde over to the bed. Sirius watched with a little frown as James pretended to slurp on a flushed Remus’ neck and decided to come to the embarrassed werewolf’s rescue, leaping into the room and striking a defensive pose.

‘Fear not, oh delicate Moonbeam! I, Sir Sirius, will save you from that randy rouge.’

Remus laughed and Peter collapsed into a chair with loud guffaws. Sirius pretended to stab James with an invisible sword then saw Remus wince as the messy haired boy collapsed into a noisy and enthusiastic death scene.

‘James, you’re hurting him, you oaf! Get off.’

James leapt up at Sirius’ words, fussing over Remus even as the other boy tried to assure him that he was fine.

‘I’m so fine, in fact, that Pomfrey said I could go down for dinner which is good because I need to get Lily’s notes from History of Magic.’

His comment spurred Peter on to tell Remus about James’ latest attempt to impress Lily Evans, showering her with stems of her namesake just hours earlier. James stared dreamily out the window during the retelling then, when the tale was over, he sighed.

‘You know, I swear she actually smiled a little bit this time.’

Peter stuffed a fist in his mouth to stop himself laughing out loud and shook his head at Remus, indicating he saw no such thing. Remus grinned and glanced over at Sirius who looked mildly revolted by James’ besotted behaviour and muttered, ’Be cool, Prongs,’ before he glanced across at Remus. His eyes widened when he saw the werewolf was looking at him, and Remus quickly shifted his gaze, fidgeting uncomfortably at being caught.

James, ignoring Sirius’ advice to be cool, began to tell the trio about his latest plan to woo the fair Miss Evans. Remus, having heard similar plots too many times to count, allowed his eyes to drift back towards Sirius, catching the Animagus watching him this time. Sirius flushed and cleared his throat as he looked at James.

‘Prongs, weren’t you and Wormtail talking about going to Hogsmeade to get some…medicinal wine for Moony to help him recover after his latest bout of illness?’

James stopped talking mid-stream and he looked at Sirius with a puzzled expression which changed quickly into one of comprehension.

‘Um, yeah.’ He glanced at Remus and smiled hastily.‘Yeah, we were going to do that.’

Peter looked confused. ‘You never said…’

‘I s’pose I forgot, Wormy. Lily Evans smiled at me…I’ve had other things on my mind.’

James stood up and pulled the blonde to his feet. ‘We’ll be back for dinner. Eat that chocolate, Moony.’

Peter sighed, resigning himself to having no choice. ‘You coming, Padfoot?’

Sirius shook his head. ‘No, I’ll stay and be a third wheel for Moony and Pomfrey. You know I love threesomes.’

Peter snorted with laughter and waved to Remus, James following him with a last meaningful glance at Sirius. Once they had vanished, Remus glanced over at Sirius.

‘What was all that about? All those hint laden looks Prongs was giving you?’

Sirius’ face tensed and he stood up. ’James knows we need time alone to talk.’

He tugged the curtains across and cast a Silencing spell on them. Turning he saw Remus’ wide eyes and quickly elaborated, realising the werewolf thought he’d told James about what had happened in the Shack.

‘He doesn’t know what it is we need to talk about. He thinks we’ve been fighting and we want some time to sort it out.’

Sirius clicked his tongue. ‘This would probably be easier if we had just been arguing.’

Remus mumbled an agreement, feeling incredibly vulnerable as he lay in the bed, dressed in just a gown, and he pulled the sheets up higher as if they would shield him from whatever the other boy was going to say. Sirius let out a long breath and then finally looked him in the eye.

‘What do you think all that was about? In the Shack?’

Remus frowned. ‘I don’t know.’

‘You don’t know?’

Sirius shook his head in irritation at the unsatisfactory answer and began to pace the curtained off cubicle. ‘We snogged, Moony. Again. We’re boys and we’re kissing each other - regularly. And I…I don’t know what’s happening.‘

He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head again. ‘You have to know what’s going on. You know about this stuff. All that ‘head’’ stuff - feelings and that crap…’

‘I don’t know about this. I’m just as confused about it as you are, Padfoot.’

Sirius paused in his movements to glare at Remus before resuming his toing and froing. ‘If you don’t know, who does? Who can tell me why two straight men are suddenly snogging each other at every fucking opportunity…and even worse, why they are liking it?’

Remus forgot to breathe and his voice was strangely high pitched when he spoke. ‘You…you liked it?’

Sirius stopped and spun around, staring at Remus in horror.

‘You didn’t? Fuck. You didn’t like it and I’ve just been assuming you did… Shit, Moony. Why didn‘t you stop me? God, am I a poof if I liked it?’

‘Sirius, shut up. You’re not a poof. And I didn‘t stop you because I…did…like…it.’

Sirius stared at him and Remus could see his chest rising and falling too rapidly to be normal. They were silent for a long moment before Remus broke the quiet.

‘So do we pretend that today's...kiss didn’t happen as well?’

Sirius sank down onto the bed with a heavy sigh. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know what to do about this. I don’t know how to fix this so we can be like we were before.’

The brown haired boy shook his head. ‘Maybe we need to go out with some girls. I haven’t been with anyone for a while. You know, if we get shagging we won’t be looking at each other like we’re dinner …’

‘It doesn’t work!’

Sirius stood up again, running a hand carelessly through his usually impeccably groomed hair. ‘I didn’t tell you lot what happened but…I shagged Kelly Martin the night after it happened the first time but… I kissed you again today. It didn’t work.’

Remus was startled to feel a growl starting in his chest and quickly stifled it before it could slip past his lips. It felt as though a band were being pulled tight around him and there was a gnawing, clawing feeling as if the wolf were trying to escape.

‘You alright? Remus?’

The werewolf put a hand on his chest and rubbed, trying to ease the ache there and took some calming breaths, closing his eyes as he focused on keeping the wolf where he belonged - deep, deep inside.

‘Moony!’

Sirius grasped his chin firmly and Remus opened his eyes.

‘I’m alright. I just…’ He shook his head, running a shaking hand across his face. He couldn’t explain what was wrong - he didn’t understand it himself. It was like the wolf was angry…

‘What happened, Moony? Should I get Pomfrey?’

Remus shook his head again and Sirius’ hand dropped from his face. He waited until Remus calmed down again before he spoke.

‘We can’t keep acting strange around each other, Moony. The others already think we‘re fighting. If they see things are still weird…’

‘Yeah, I don’t fancy answering questions about this.’

They were quiet for several seconds then Remus opened his mouth hesitantly. ‘Perhaps it was just…well…the first time we were drunk - can’t be responsible for what we do when we’re pissed, right?’

Sirius nodded an agreement, listening intently.

‘Then today we were tired and emotional about last night… exhaustion feels similar to being drunk…’

‘So if we avoid being alone when we’re drunk or tired and emotional and we should be right?’

Remus frowned. It didn’t seem like a very practical solution to this problem. He looked at Sirius who was staring at him. The dark haired boy shook his head doubtfully.

‘Not an ideal solution, is it? I mean, who’s gonna carry me up the stairs when I’m pissed if we have to avoid each other.’

‘I’ll have to leave you to drown in your own vomit. It‘s practically compulsory that legends such as yourself die a unnaturally early and suitably tragic death anyway.’

Sirius snorted and his face lit up with his first genuine smile of the day. ‘And my ghost would forever roam the halls of Hogwarts, pranking and perving on couples in the closet. Well, when I wasn’t following you around and rattling my chains that is. I’ll have to punish you somehow for allowing me to die. Perhaps I’ll make sure I interrupt every time you’re shagging - you’ll be doomed to suffer from an eternal hard on…’

His smile faltered when he realised the turn the conversation had taken.

Remus sighed. ‘Are we not going to be able to mention sex without going all funny? We’ll have nothing left to talk about.’

Sirius shrugged and there was silence, Remus breaking it with a question that seemed to just slip out.

‘It was different from kissing a girl, wasn’t it?’

Sirius looked over at Remus and saw him studiously looking down at his lap. His breath hitched and he answered on a choked gust of air.

‘Yeah.’

He took a gulp of much needed oxygen. ‘Rough.’

Remus looked up with a slightly affronted expression. ‘What?’

Sirius looked pained. ‘It was rougher than with a girl.’

‘Is that bad?’

Sirius remembered his reaction to that kiss this morning and his subsequent visit to the bathroom on the way back to the dorm and flushed deeply, wondering what the hell was happening to him?

‘No. No, that’s not bad.’

Remus nodded and swallowed hard, trying to resist the urge to reach out to touch Sirius. He was going insane, he was sure of it. How else could he explain this?

Sirius touched the other boy's covered leg tentatively then let his hand slide down to rest on the bed. ‘So we’re going to be alright, Moony? We'll be cool and let this stupidness just…run itself out?’

Remus nodded, trying to look more confident than he felt. ‘We’ll be fine, Padfoot. We always are.’

TBC...