What I've become

Chapter 7

“What!” Harry cried he and Hermione had gone for lunch, selecting a quiet café near the Ministry.

Hermione had just told him about Lucius still having his old job and being the one who put her name forward for her promotion.

“I know.” Was all Hermione said in reply.

“How could they let him back into his old job…are they crazy, the guy’s a Death Eater!” cried Harry trying to keep his voice low so no one but Hermione could hear him.

“I don’t know…the weirdest thing was how nice he was towards me…he seemed strange …stranger than normal that is,” replied Hermione.

“Are you sure he was the one who put your name forward?” asked Harry uncertainly.

“Oh yes I’m sure…the Minister himself told me, and everyone else in the room,” replied Hermione her voice straining to remain a whisper.

“You can’t work there if he is, Hermione. You know that don’t you?” said Harry suddenly, Hermione gave him an odd look as if trying to detect if he was joking or not.

“Harry are you crazy…there’s no way I’m giving up this job!” Hermione cried her voice loud enough to turn some heads.
“Hermione…think about this logically, Lucius could put you under the Imperious curse and we would never know…we can’t let Voldemort get inside information on the order…It’s insanity!” Harry said gently as if trying to convince a child.

“Harry,” Hermione said slowly and quietly her eyes on the table and her jaw set in a tight grimace.“This job is the one good thing…the one good thing going on in my life…you and Ron are starting a family and have great jobs…me? I was in a dead end job and I’ve not had a long relationship since…Hogwarts,” said Hermione her eyes boring into the table.

“I know that Hermione I really do…and I sympathise, but me and Ron are not in a job that jeopardises our secrecy,” replied Harry trying to make her see sense, Hermione’s eyes drifted upwards to meet Harry’s her teeth set in a clench.

“Well I’m really sorry about that Harry, but it seems to me that you and Ron can get a good life without even trying…I get the job of my dreams and you care more about your damn secrecy and want me to quit and be unhappy and miserable again…you know I went through enough of this since Hogwarts!” Hermione snarled Harry looked at her with shock having never seen Hermione this angry before.

“I know your not happy that Ron’s getting married but…” Harry started but Hermione cut him short.

“I’m not jealous…I don’t feel the same way about him any more!” cried Hermione defensively.
“Then why bring it up then…you need to admit that you still care for him…You waited too long to tell him and now he’s moved on…get over it,” said Harry loosing his temper, Hermione’s eyes welled up with tears then leaked down her face.

“You just don’t understand…I’m not leaving my job and you…all of you can just go to hell!” Hermione sobbed then grabbing her cloak she stormed out of the café followed by many nosy eyes leaving Harry looking bewildered.

The streets were very busy and Hermione felt very aware that she was crying by the many concerned faces that followed her.

Finding a deserted alley she slipped into it and leaned against the wall letting the tears fall free. Pushing her hair back Hermione slid down the wall into a crouching position her back still against the wall for support, pain filled her chest as she tried to subside the tears but loosing the battle she started to sob, her breath came in short gasps and her face became red and puffy.

Tilting her head back against the wall she strived for control once more and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her cloak.

Struggling to her feet Hermione brushed down her cloak and went to leave the alley but found Lucius Malfoy in the alley mouth watching her.

Hermione burned with humiliation when she realized that he must have seen her cry, holding her head high she strode towards him and squeezed passed him onto the busy street and began to stalk away.

“Are you ok?” Lucius asked his voice low, Hermione froze and turned to face him.

“What do you care?” asked Hermione, she was in no mood for his head games.

“Fine I will leave you alone,” replied Lucius gently, turning on his heel he headed back towards the Ministry.

Hermione stood dumfounded as she watched Lucius’s retreating back before curiosity got the better of her and at a jog she went after him.

“Why did you put my name forward for the job?” Hermione asked when she came to walk beside him.

“I assume that you’re happy with the job?” replied Lucius still walking at a fast pace.

“That’s not the point…but yes I am.”

“Then why were you crying back there?” Lucius interjected jerking his head back towards the alley.

“That…is none of your concern, and why should I answer your question when you refuse to answer mine directly?” Hermione replied her cheeks going red again.

“I put your name forward…because sometimes people deserve a break” said Lucius struggling to find a lie.

“I don’t believe that and if you think you can get close to me, then get to Harry, you’re wasting your time,” said Hermione, Harry’s words still fresh in her mind.

“The thought never crossed my mind,” said Lucius in an honest voice.

“If you’re trying to convince me that you’re not a Death Eater anymore…I don’t believe it for one second.” Hermione scoffed, Lucius stopped outside of the Ministry entrance and leaned in close to Hermione so his lips were close to her ear.

“And nor should you…I’m still one of the Dark Lords followers and I have no intention of betraying him,” he whispered.

Hermione pulled back and gave him a surprised look she had not expected him to admit his lasting alliance with Voldemort to her.

“I’m not trying to trick you into thinking I’m a good guy if I had the chance I would capture Potter and hand him over to the Dark Lord without a second thought,” Lucius explained his voice still a whisper.

“Then why not me?” asked Hermione timidly, Lucius tilted his head in confusion. “Back in the alley…I was defenceless, you could have taken me to you know who for information, so why not?” Hermione asked, Lucius eyes turned cold and leaned forward once again closer this time, so close Hermione could almost feel his lips against her cheek.

“Do you want me too?” he asked in a mocking tone, Hermione moved away from him shaking her head, Lucius chuckled then added. “The answer to your first question…I believe there’s a lot more to you than Potter and the whole precious Order can see,” said Lucius his voice silky, with a flick of his cloak he stalked off leaving Hermione too confused to follow.