Everything I Ever Wanted

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We meet the infamous William Johnson in this chapter. Please see the warnings in the summary and don\'t read if offended by anything there.







Chapter Seven



Christmas holidays arrived the next day and as the students departed for home, Billie spent the last day of the school term locked in her office with a school board official.

She felt a wave of anger as the man in front of her told her that Alex had complained that Remus had beat him up.

’For no reason, Ms Johnson,’ the man, George, said, with a frown. ’He just attacked him.’



Billie looked at him, stunned. ‘For no reason?’ she said. ‘Do you actually believe him?’ ‘Well, Lupin is a werewolf, and they are unpredictable….’ he began.

But Billie interrupted him, saying loudly, ‘When they are in full transformation maybe, but Remus was not transformed. It ‘s weeks until the next full moon, and he takes the Wolfsbane potion religiously. Have you actually met Professor Lupin? He would no more attack anyone for no reason that I would.’

‘Professor Shaw had several injuries…’ he said.

‘Listen,’ she said, standing up now. ‘Alex Shaw tried to rape me. I didn’t make a complaint; I just wanted him to go away. That’s why I sacked him. Remus…stopped him. He did hit Alex but he was defending me.’



She moved around the desk and yanked up the sleeves of her shirt, revealing the finger shaped bruises on her arms. ‘He did this, and he broke my nose when he punched me,’ she said angrily. Hadn’t Alex caused enough damage already?

‘There is more bruising, but I don ‘t think I need to hitch my skirt up to show you that, do I? Ask the school nurse about the injuries she saw that night if you doubt my word.’

The man looked appalled at her statement. ‘You should contact the Ministry…’ but Billie shook her head.

‘It’s his word against mine,’ she sighed, sinking into the chair next to him. He looked at her, seeing her obvious distress and waited for her to take some deep breaths, regaining some control.



‘We can provide you with some counselling..’ but she shook her head.

‘No, thank you,’ she said, grateful for his offer. ‘I’ll be fine.’

She looked up at him. ‘You’ll explain to the board that Remus is not a danger to anyone? That he was defending me?’

George looked at her, watching her closely. ‘Professor Lupin reacted in a very strong manner,’ he said, carefully. ‘If there is a chance he’ll react like that in another situation…’ he let his voice trail off.

Billie sighed. ‘Remus and I have been seeing each other,’ she admitted, resignedly. ‘That’s why he reacted so badly to seeing Alex Shaw hit me.’



George looked at her in silence for a few minutes. Billie did not break the quiet, letting the man decide how he was going to react.

‘You are dating him?’ he asked, a little incredulously.

‘Yes,’ said Billie, a little defiantly. ‘It is not against the law to date lycanthropes - not yet anyway.’

She looked at him. He did not seem as disgusted as she would have imagined, considering the School Boards efforts to get rid of Remus. Perhaps he was one of the good guys.



‘Remus is a very kind and gentle person,’ Billie said. ‘If anyone bothered to see who is really is, the lycanthropy would mean as little to them as it does to me. He’s one of the best people I’ve ever met.’

‘Did this have anything to do with your decision to keep him on here?’ he asked with a frown. ‘Because that’s how it’s going to seem when this comes out.’

She nodded. ‘I know, and it truly didn‘t,’ she replied with a sigh. ‘But I knew how it would look. That’s why I had so much extra support to back me up. I think I had more than enough evidence of his talent as a teacher and his good nature to make the fact I was sleeping with him irrelevant. And that’s what I’ll tell anyone who asks.’

‘Maybe not in those words though,’ he said with a quick smile, which soon faded. He frowned at her for a moment.



‘Regardless of the fact he is a werewolf, we don’t encourage relationships between staff members, Belinda,’ he said. Billie nodded.

‘I know, but it’s not against any rule either,’ she replied, looking up at him.

She stood suddenly and moved to a cabinet across the room, pulling out a bottle of oak mead and two glasses. She returned to her chair and poured two glasses. She’d seen sympathy in his eyes, and knew he felt uncomfortable with his job today.



‘It wasn’t supposed to happen - Remus and I,’ she said, taking a drink. ‘But it has, and I’m not sorry. I have a knack for choosing bad men, and this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.’

George raised his eyebrows, no doubt a little surprised at her description of the relationship which most of the wizarding community would still find appalling. He lifted his glass to his mouth, taking a moment to appreciate the good mead before responding.

‘If circumstances were to dictate that you end your relationship, would you be able to work together?’ he asked, looking at her.

‘Why would I end the relationship?’ she asked, her voice holding a warning that she was about to be very unhappy with the path the conversation was taking.



‘Despite the flood of complaints you will receive from parents and the Board, it is not a good idea for staff to date, let alone the Headmistress dating one of the teachers,’ he said. ‘It sets a bad example.’

Billie frowned. ‘To who?’ she asked. ‘The other teachers? They’re all adults. They’ve all had relationships, some are married. It doesn’t effect the way I treat them or the way they interact with me or Remus.’



‘The children?’ he said, taking a larger gulp of mead.

‘The children are too busy conducting their own affairs to be interested in their teachers for more than a few days,’ she said dismissively. ‘And we are discreet in school hours. No one had any reason to suspect we were seeing each other until we were both sure we were getting serious, and then we ‘outed’ ourselves. I’m not ashamed of our relationship, George. I have suffered through a lot of crap in my life, and come out the other end. This… this will be nothing.’

‘And if you were given an ultimatum?’ he said. ‘If you were told one of you had to go…?’









She looked at him, putting her drink down. ‘Are you giving me one?‘ He looked at her through narrowed eyes.

‘If you are, then I’ll give you my resignation now,’ she said, not bluffing.

She walked over to her desk and sat down, pulling a piece of parchment towards her.

‘Remus is a wonderful teacher, and I’m not biased. I taught defence for several years, I know when someone is doing a great job,’ she insisted. ‘This school would suffer if he wasn’t here, so if someone has to go, it will be me.’

She picked up her quill, and began to write her resignation out.

‘You really care that much for him?’ George said, also putting his drink down. ‘You’d resign rather than break up with him; rather than see him lose his job?’

Billie looked up at him. ‘Yes,’ she said, realising as she spoke just how much she did care. ‘I do. I would. This did start out as a fling, but now….’



George looked at her, then stood up. ‘I see no reason to continue the investigation into Alex Shaw’s complaint,’ he said, moving towards the door.

Billie moved around her desk and walked over to him. He reached for his coat, slipping it on.

‘I also see no reason to change the staffing arrangements at Hogwarts,’ he added, giving her a smile. He held out his hand and she took it with a smile.

‘As long as you are discreet,’ he warned, his face serious. ‘I’m not saying you have to keep three feet from each other at all times, but during school hours…’



‘Thank you, George,’ she said. He looked at her gravely.

’Belinda, if this should go wrong; if you and he part, one of you will have to go,’ he warned.

’I know,’ she said. ’And I’ve already told you that it will be me. Whatever the board thinks of his condition, he’s a good man, and an asset to the school.’

He smiled at her. ’So are you, Belinda. We know what we got when we hired you, and we’ve been very happy with how you’ve raised school spirit, and improved the services. We’ve gotten very complimentary letters about you so far.‘ He put his hand on her shoulder.

‘I hope he appreciates your support,’ he said, then disappeared down the spiral staircase.



Billie breathed a sigh of relief, moving back to her desk and falling heavily into her chair. She stood again quickly and took her despised robes off, throwing them onto the chair opposite the desk, and sank back down again, closing her eyes.



‘Did you have to have sex with him?’ she heard a voice say. She laughed and opened her eyes, seeing Remus looking at her discarded robes before closing the office door.

‘No,’ she said, with a sigh. ‘Threaten to resign, yes. Sex, no. Thank God.’

He laughed, but his amusement faded quickly as he moved around her desk to sit on the edge in front of her.

‘Alex complained?’ She nodded.

‘It’s fine,’ she reassured him. ‘They know what happened and they aren’t taking him seriously. I did have to tell George about us, though.’

She watched him carefully for a reaction. ‘I know,’ he said, smiling at her surprise. ‘He told me. He also told me how passionately you stood up for me. Thank you, Belle.’

‘Well, it worked. For now, neither of us are going anywhere,’ she smiled.



He smiled too, then narrowed his eyes. ‘You threatened to resign?’ he said.

She nodded. ‘You are an asset to the school, Remus,’ she said seriously. ‘Heads are a dime a dozen; anyone can do the administrative stuff. Not everyone has your passion for your job. It would hurt the students if you left.’

He stared at her for a moment, then knelt in front of her, letting his hands move around her to rest on her hips. ‘And what about you?’ he asked, his gaze suddenly intense. ‘Would it hurt you if I left?’

Billie looked at him, then leaned forward to hold his face in her hands. ‘Very much,’ she whispered.



Remus pulled her head to him and kissed her, softly at first, then harder as heat flared in both of them. He reached for his wand and waved it at the door, locking it. It dropped to the ground, as his hands moved to her shirt, unbuttoning it, and spreading the sides. ‘Haven’t we got this the wrong way around?’ she said, with a little moan as he pulled down her bra . He parted her legs, moving between them as his mouth landed on her breast.

‘I think it’s going to be hard for you to……’ She stopped and gasped as his hand moved into her underwear before continuing. ‘For you to ravish me in this position.’



‘Not the way I plan on ravishing you,’ he said with a grin, as he pushed her skirt up around her waist, then pulled her hips towards him. A slow smile spread across Billie’s face, then his mouth moved to her inner thigh and she let out a soft moan, her head falling back against the chair. Pulling her underwear off, he kissed up her thigh, then his tongue found her and teased her, moving harder and faster as her hips rose to meet him.



She was moments away from the end when he stopped, ignoring her exclamation of complaint. He pulled her up onto her feet and kissed her quickly, before spinning her around so she was bent over the desk.

‘I want to be inside you when you come,’ he said, his voice harsh, as he pulled her skirt up higher, and stroked his fingers over her. Billie moaned and thrust her ass back against his hand.

‘Remus, please,’ she begged, then groaned in gratitude as he undid his fly and pressed against her, sliding inside her.



He stopped for a second, feeling his control slipping, then began to move, thrusting slowly at first. Bending over her, he pulled her back so their bodies were touching.

‘I’ve wanted to do this from the first day I saw your ass bent over this desk,’ he told her, licking her neck, and hearing her make desperate noises in her throat. Moving his hand around to stroke her, he knew she was there.

‘Come for me, Bella,’ he whispered, feeling himself about to let go. She cried out, and he felt her tighten around him as he also reached the end.



‘So, now they know?,’ Remus said five minutes later, feeling his heart still beating faster than usual.

‘Mmm,’ Billie replied, making the skin on his neck vibrate with the movement of her lips. Remus shifted a little so he was more comfortable. He was sitting in her chair, Billie curled up on his lap with her head on his shoulder.



‘And neither of us is getting the sack at the moment?’ he asked, turning to kiss her head as she shook it.

‘Not yet,’ she answered, lifting her head and kissing him on the lips quickly.

He smiled and she stood up, pulling her skirt down. He admired her ass as she bent over to pick up her underwear, blushing a little under his gaze as she pulled her knickers back on.



‘You make me do things I never imagined myself doing,’ she mumbled, frowning a little as she did up her shirt. Remus’ smile broadened, and he stood up and did up his pants. ‘Believe it or not, until I met you, I thought a bed was the only place to have sex,’ he retorted, his hands moving to straighten her collar for her.

Billie grinned at him. ‘I do find that hard to believe,’ she said, then let out a little gasp as he pulled her to him fast.



‘You make me crazy, Bella,’ he said, his face serious now as he looked into her eyes. ‘I’ve never felt like this about anyone else.’

Billie felt her chest tighten with emotion when he spoke, and was a little frightened by how she was feeling. Fortunately, a knock on her door saved her from having to respond.



She pulled out of his grasp, running a hand over her hair as she unlocked the door. Remus quickly moved to the other chairs in the room, throwing himself down as Billie opened the door. There was a moment of silence, then he heard Billie say harshly, ‘What the hell are you doing here?’



Remus looked over to her, and saw the anger in her face. He stood up as a man stepped into the room and grasped Billie’s shoulders.

‘Is that any way to speak to your father, Billie?’ he asked. He pulled her to him, embracing her. Billie’s arms remained at her sides and she was stiff, her face a little disgusted.



‘Everything alright?’ Remus asked loudly, moving quickly to her side as the man pulled away from her.

‘Well, hello there,’ he said, holding out his hand to Remus. ‘I’m William Johnson, Billie’s father.’

Remus took the man’s hand with a frown, looking at Billie who was looking a little ill. ‘What are you doing here, dad?’ she asked.



‘I heard you were Headmistress here, and I thought I’d call in and see you,’ he said, pushing past her and walking into the room, looking around. ‘You’ve done well for yourself, kid.’

Billie frowned, and Remus put his hand on the small of her back.

‘Belle, do you want me to get rid of him?’ he asked quietly. She looked upset and uncertain, shaking her head.

‘Stay with me?’ she whispered, looking at him with distressed eyes. He nodded and she turned back to her father.



‘I have nothing to say to you, dad,’ she said, stepping towards him. ‘I think you should go. Now.’

He turned and his eyes, so much like his daughters’, turned cold, even as his lips turned up in a forced smile.

‘We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, Billie,’ he said, his voice hard. ‘Perhaps we could do that in private?’ His eyes turned to Remus, who was looking at him coldly.



‘Bella’s asked you to leave,’ he said, stepping forward. ‘You should say goodbye now.’ The smile left William’s face and he stepped forward as well.

‘I don’t know who you are, but you’d stay healthier if you mind your own business,’ he threatened, his voice low and nasty.

Billie felt the anger bouncing off Remus, and put her hand on his arm. ‘Leave it,’ she warned.

‘Just tell me what you want, dad,’ she said, resignedly. ‘Tell me and we can both go back to pretending the other doesn’t exist.’



He and Remus stared at each other for a moment longer, before he turned to Billie. ‘You came into your inheritance recently,’ he said. ‘I want it. I deserve it.’

Billie frowned, staring at him disbelievingly. ‘You deserve it?’ she said, screwing up her face. ‘My mother left me some money that I came into when I turned thirty, which was two years ago, by the way. How is it you think you deserve it?’

He moved swiftly, startling Billie and Remus. Grabbing her arm, he shoved his face into hers. ‘That bitch put me through hell, then left me with nothing,’ he hissed. ‘I want what is mine.’

Billie tried to pull her arm out of his grip, but Remus, furious now, grabbed her father’s arm and forced him to let go.

‘Get off her,’ he said, softly, but the warning was clear.



‘Who are you anyway?’ William said, jerking his arm out of Remus’ grasp. He looked from Remus to Billie.

‘Oh, I get it,’ he said, with a nasty smile. ‘You’re fucking her.’

He laughed and turned to Remus to whisper conspiratorially. ‘I hope she’s a better lay than her mother - cold as ice, that woman.’

Remus’ arm raised, but Billie grabbed it quickly, moving so she was between the two men. ‘He is not worth it, Remus,’ she said, glaring at her father, who laughed at them.

‘You’ve got money, dad,’ she said. ‘Why do you want more?’

‘I’m owed it,’ he hissed at her. ‘I went through hell when that gutless witch killed herself. I had to talk to the cops, then I was stuck with you for years….’



‘You dumped me at gran’s until she could dump me at boarding school,’ Billie interrupted, looking at him with distaste.

‘I paid for that boarding school,’ he said loudly, glancing dismissively at Remus when he made a tiny movement.

‘And I wouldn’t have done that if that bitch had just given me her money instead of leaving it for you.’

Remus saw the pain that flickered across Billie’s face and felt another wave of anger.

‘I want that money, Billie,’ he said. ‘And I’ll disappear forever.’

Remus looked at Billie, and could see she was wavering. She must really want him out of her life.

‘Belle, don’t give him a thing,’ he said, glaring at the man. ‘You don’t owe him anything.’



‘Billie…’ said her father, his voice changing now, cajoling and dangerous. ‘You used to love me, sweetheart. Remember how you used to love me?’

Remus was surprised to see fear in her eyes, and her lip begin to shake.

‘You used to love giving me cuddles and kisses, do you remember?’

Williams’ eyes narrowed and glowed with a light that sent a little shiver of fear through Remus. Billie was right…this man was evil.

‘Does your friend know how much you loved me?’ he asked, with a faint smile on his face.

‘Take it,’ Billie said abruptly, turning away from them to sit at her desk, digging in a bottom drawer.

‘Billie…’ said Remus, but her father interrupted him.

‘Good choice, Billie,’ he said softly, coming up behind her and touching her hair, stroking it. Billie pulled away, and handed him something, standing up.



‘That’s the key to the vault at Gringott’s,’ she said, pushing herself away from him, her eyes shining with tears. ‘Take it - all of it. I never want you to have any reason to contact me again.’

William smiled and looked down at the key. ‘You always were a good girl, Billie,’ he said, patting her on the ass. ’Always did what you were told.’

She backed away with a frightened look on her face, and her father walked over to the door.

‘Enjoy her,’ he called to Remus as he walked out. ‘I did.’



He disappeared down the spiral staircase as Remus, shocked, turned to Billie. Her face was deathly pale, her eyes looking black against her white skin and her lip was trembling. Tears streaked down her cheeks.

‘Bella?’ he asked, almost not wanting to know what her father had meant by his last comment. She shook her head, reaching out with her hand to steady herself against the wall when she felt her knees giving way.

‘Belle, what did he do to you?’ he whispered, his heart thumping so hard he thought it might burst.

‘Just go, Remus,’ she said, her voice so low he almost couldn’t understand her. She moved quickly, running up the stairs to her room, and he heard the door lock behind her.



He was breathing rapidly when he sank into the chair behind him. Her father had implied a relationship that made Remus feel sick. He sat there for a long time, then finally rubbed at his face with his hands, taking a deep breath. Walking slowly up the stairs, he tried to control the growing anger he felt. Hesitating a moment, he held his hand up to knock on the door, jumping a little when it opened before he had the chance.



‘You’re still here?’ Billie said, startled to see him.

‘You didn’t think I’d leave you alone after that, did you?’ he replied, his heart aching when he saw the pain on her face. She closed her eyes, but not before he saw them glistening with tears.

‘Belle, tell me what he did to you,’ he said softly, reaching for her hands.



Billie swallowed hard, shaking her head. ‘I can’t, Remus,’ she said, her voice strained. ‘If I do, you’ll hate me. You’ll be disgusted in me.’

She turned around and walked back into her room, sinking down onto her bed. Remus followed her, closing the door behind him.

‘Honey, I couldn’t hate you,’ he said, grasping her hands again as he crouched in front of her.

‘Tell me.’ He could see her struggling with herself for a minute, then she stood up and began to pace.



‘He never liked me. He hated that I wasn’t a boy,’ she said, moving quickly. ‘I hardly saw him until I was about nine, and when I did it usually ended with him hitting me or mum. That was until, one night, he appeared in my bedroom.’

She was obviously uncomfortable talking about this. Running her hands through her hair, she frowned as she sat down on the bed, Remus moving to sit next to her.

‘At first it was a kiss and a cuddle goodnight. I was confused as to why he was being so affectionate all of a sudden, but I didn’t care. I was just thrilled my dad loved me after all.’



A sob choked her and her hand shook as it came up to rub her eyes. ‘Then, one night, he told me he wanted to show me how much he loved me,’ she said, her voice cracking a little. ‘He put my hand down his pants and told me that the fact he was erect meant he loved me so much he was hurting. And he said that if I loved him, I’d help make him feel better.’

Remus closed his eyes tightly for a moment, then looked back at her. ‘God, Belle…’ he said, his voice anguished.



Billie closed her eyes for a moment as well, then opened them, staring straight at him. ‘Making me masturbate him satisfied him for a while, but then one night he touched me.’ Her face started to crumple, and her breath was coming erratically.

‘He hurt me.’

Tiny noises were coming out of her throat as she tried to hold down the grief that was threatening to escape.

‘He never raped me, but only because my mother caught him that night.’ She looked at him and a sob left her lips. ‘She killed herself the next day. She killed herself and left me alone with him, Remus.’

He moved quickly, holding her closely as she cried.



‘You must be so disgusted,’ she said, after a while, pulling away from him and standing up. ‘If you want out, Remus, I wouldn’t blame you.’

But he stopped her with a kiss. ‘This is not your fault, Belle. You were a child. This was all him, all his fault.’

She shook her head. ‘But it’s not just him,’ she said, feeling as though she had to tell him everything. ‘You asked me that first day if I had children, do you remember?’ He nodded and frowned.

‘Well, I lied. I did have a child - a little boy. He died when his father beat the crap out of me when I was still pregnant with him.’



Sitting back down, she talked, telling him everything.

‘I’ve made bad choices all my life, Remus. It took a lot of counselling after I lost my baby for me to be able to see what I was doing; that I was choosing men like my father. I’m stronger now, but when I met you…That’s why I didn’t want anything serious with you. I thought you were going to be just another bad choice that I’d end up regretting.’

Remus stared at her. Her face was pale and tear streaked, full of pain as she’d told him about her past.

‘You don’t still think that do you?’ he asked, with a frown. Billie looked at him.



‘I don’t trust easily, but I trusted you completely, without any good reason, from the day I met you,’ she said softly. ‘I’ve never liked sex; I’ve been called frigid by my boyfriends, but I’ve done things with you, felt things with you, that I’ve never experienced before. And I’ve never felt anything like what I feel for you with anyone else.’

She was shaking now, hoping she wasn’t making a big mistake by revealing how much she cared for him.

‘Remus, I don’t know what this is exactly; what I’m feeling, but you are the only person that’s ever made me feel so scared, yet so safe at the same time. And that makes you the most dangerous man I’ve ever met.’